Solace & Rosanna Ch. 22

2003: Tears ran unaware and unchecked down L. D. Jansen’s face as she watched from her shadowy alcove as the stranger first embraced and then kissed the lips of the woman she had hoped to make her own. The tears were accompanied by a persistent ache in her abdomen, as if she’d been punched, but she could not turn away. Anger rose, but died just as quickly. With whom could she be angry--Solace, the stranger, herself? She had, in essence, pursued Solace. The fact that there seemed to be a shared chemistry between them was probably nothing more than coincidental. Although the evening retained much of the day’s heat and humidity and perspiration was beading on L. D.’s forehead, she could see that the woman (what was her name, Rosanna?) was holding Solace so close that there was little room between their bodies. It seemed almost indecent to be ogling such an intimate moment.

A creaking sound made L. D. turn her head slightly. She watched warily as a thin figure pushing a shopping cart moved towards her. She narrowed her eyes and could make out the face of a woman with a thatch of wild hair. She stiffened and her fingers clenched into fists. Her mood was foul; and she did not desire it to be tested by one of New York’s unfortunates. She made to back up but it seemed the woman’s eyes were boring into her soul and she felt powerless against allowing her to invade her space and grief. The cart slowed as the woman drew nearer. L. D. swiped at her forehead with the tips of her fingers. Her leg began its annoying twitching and she placed a hand on it, but it was useless. The trembling persisted.

“Your money cannot acquire this treasure,” came the uncharacteristically soft voice of the woman. Her breath held the sweet odor of peppermint. L. D. could see that she held an object in her hands. What was it—a can?

“Go away,” snarled L. D.

“You will not find comfort here. You will only find comfort on the dance floor,” replied the woman, ignoring L. D.’s threatening tone. She raised the hand holding the can so that L. D. could see the label. Ignoring the large block letters spelling out the word MACE, L. D. advanced, planting her taller frame directly in front of the bedraggled stranger.

“I will find comfort whenever, wherever and with whomever I choose,” she hissed, “Now, get out of here before I—“ she raised her hand but was hit with a caustic cloud. Instantly, her eyes began to burn and water and she began to cough violently. She thought she might choke or lose the contents of her stomach. Right now, though, L. D. did not care. Frantically, she removed a handkerchief from a breast pocket and began dabbing at her eyes which felt as if they had been set on fire. The bout was so noisy, she did not hear the voices of the women who came to see if they could help someone who was obviously in distress.

The women heard what seemed to be uncontrollable coughing and retching. Solace disentangled herself from Rosanna and began moving in the direction from which the horrible sounds emanated. Rosanna, being more cautious but having no intention of allowing Solace to walk into a situation alone, took her arm and headed them in the direction of the emergency.

As they neared the source, Rosanna recognized the outfit of the woman in black. Her brows knit in confusion. She thought she had left earlier and would be on her way to her next destination. Why was she here in the shadows? Suspicion welled up in Rosanna’s mind. Solace would, of course, have no idea who the stranger was until she spoke, which she seemed incapable of doing through her hacking and choking.

“Do you need helped?” Solace questioned, concern evident as she reached out a hand to where she thought the woman might be standing.

“I…I….I…think I’m okay,” L. D. gasped. She had never been attacked in this fashion and it galled her immensely that her usually excellent instincts and reflexes had failed her. She also realized, with a mixture of disbelief and trepidation that Solace and Rosanna were coming to her rescue. Could this evening get any more bizarre? It also became painfully clear to L. D. that she could not see. She moved her hands in front of her eyes and almost fainted. It was as if a curtain had been drawn, blocking out all light. She let out an involuntary moan of distress.

“What’s the matter?” asked Solace.

“Solace, I can’t see!” L. D. wailed. “I didn’t know that pepper spray could do that.” Now, not only was her leg trembling, but her entire body began to shake uncontrollably. She thought she might hyperventilate. Her cool exterior was rapidly cracking and she felt hysteria wrapping itself around her like a black cloak. She had never been deprived of her sense of sight and it frightened her more than any words could express.

Solace found L. D.’s hand, Without breaking contact with her frightened dance partner, she looped her arm around L. D.’s slim hips.

“You’re going to be all right, L. D. I’m sure it’s just a severe reaction to the spray. I’ve never heard of anyone actually going blind from a mace attack. Solace said this with more confidence than she possessed for she knew next to nothing about the side-effects of the poison. She did, however, know that they needed to get L. D. to an emergency room as soon as possible to assess the damage.

“Sanna, put your arms around L. D. We’re going to need to support her. She’s not too steady on her feet.”

Solace’s words jolted Rosanna out of her momentary inertia. She had stood by watching L. D.’s rising panic. She heard the dreaded three-word sentence and realized that the warm night air was doing nothing to stave off the chill of fear that made its way unbidden up her spine. She had known and loved Solace for five years and had never actually pondered what it would be like to be a blind person. She had simply accepted the fact as a part of Solace, only ever thinking about the many ways Solace went about her daily activities. Seeing a sighted person instantly become blind shook her to her very core for she took her ability to see for granted.

Rosanna moved woodenly to L. D.’s other side and, making an immense effort to push aside her feelings of intense jealousy and suspicion, looped her arm about the woman’s waist.

“We should take her to Lenox Hill Hospital. They’re closer,” Solace announced.

“Whatever you say, Sol” They made their way to the corner where Solace left L. D. in Rosanna’s strong arms and hailed a taxi.

L. D. was aware that she was being propelled forward, but her mind raced with dire possibilities and she found it difficult to stay in the moment as a black future loomed before her. She thought how ironic it was that she was so fond of the color black. Now that it was all she could see, she hung her head in dismay. It also did not escape her that she was being held up by her rival, but this fact seemed completely insignificant in the face of her despair.

As they entered the cab for the short ride, Solace tried to get L. D. to recount the incident. The only sentences she continued to utter concerned the fact that she could not see.

“Everything is black, Solace. How can I dance with you? How can I guide you?” L. D. moaned.

Rosanna stiffened in the seat next to her and quietly fumed.

“Don’t worry about that, L. D. We’ll be able to dance and you won’t have to worry about guiding me. I know the moves. You know that.”

“But I have to make sure that you don’t get hurt,” L. D. rambled. Words seemed to be tumbling out of her of their own volition.

“L. D., can you tell us what happened?” Solace tried again.

The fog began to lift from L. D.’s shocked brain and she stammered, “There was a homeless woman. She said my money couldn’t buy comfort. I just wanted to… I wouldn’t have hurt her. I wouldn’t have hurt her.” She dropped her head in her hands running her fingers through her hair, pushing the bangs away from her forehead; the strands lay in tangled disarray.

Solace and Rosanna gasped at the mention of a homeless woman. Rosanna noted Solace’s reaction and asked, “Did you meet a homeless woman with a shopping cart, Sol?”

Solace responded in a soft, hesitant voice. “She said something about a rose, but I was on my way to rehearsal and then I forgot all about it.”

“She told me I needed solace, but I thought it was just a coincidence.” Rosanna said, in an equally quiet tone.

Their minds drifted back to their respective conversations with the woman with the birds’ nest hair.

As they pulled up to the entrance to Lenox Hill Hospital, Rosanna paid the driver. L. D. made a feeble attempt to reach for her wallet, but Solace grabbed her firmly and told her not to worry about it this time.

The women ushered L. D. through the doors of the emergency room. A security guard, in an ill-fitting uniform, rushed towards them.

“Ms. Jansen. What happened?” he huffed in exertion.

“She’s had an accident.” Rosanna offered.

The guard directed his next question to L. D., ignoring Rosanna. “Should I call your mother?”

“No. Thank you. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry her, please.” L. D.’s said in a calmer tone. Her initial panic and horror about going blind was abating as she found that she could at least discern the bright lights of the waiting room through an opaque haze.

“Can she be seen right away?” Solace interrupted. “She’s been sprayed with mace, and her eyes seem to have been severely affected. She can’t see.”

The guard noticed the white cane in Solace’s hand. He moved toward L. D., trying to take L. D.’s hand, but Solace would not allow him to wedge himself between herself and the woman. She waved her cane as if to strike him. Rosanna stifled a giggle that was attempting to erupt. Solace seemed determined to use her cane as a weapon. Rosanna thought she’d better be on her guard before the avenging Solace turned her innocent mobility device on her.

An attractive woman with shoulder-length brown hair (streaked with gray) wearing a white lab coat appeared. “L. D., it’s Doctor Rios. What’s happened?” She gently extricated L. D.’s arm from Solace’s vise-like grip and guided her, with Rosanna’s help, to an empty examination room. Solace turned to the guard and gave him what she hoped was her most menacing glare. He gave her a dull stare, puzzled that she seemed to be staring him right in the face. How could that be? She was blind…wasn’t she?

“Let’s take a look at those beautiful eyes.” As the doctor shone a bright light in her eyes, L. D. winced but felt a rush of elation as well.

“Did I hear someone say you were sprayed with pepper spray? I thought that stuff was illegal.”

“It is,” growled Rosanna, moving to stand by Solace.

As the doctor examined L. D., she discovered that there was irritation but no permanent damage to her eyes. She relayed the news efficiently and swiftly to allay her patient’s fear. Three women breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“Do you have someone who can stay with you tonight, L. D.? I’m going to prescribe a drop, but you might want a friend to help put them in, and I don’t want you home alone, just in case.” She looked at Solace and Rosanna, who looked at each other.

“I can take care of myself.” L. D. added with false bravado.

“I’ll stay---“ Solace said, placing a hand on L. D.’s knee.

“We’ll stay with her, Doctor. I hope you have room for two, Ms. Jansen.” Rosanna chimed in, noting Solace’s gesture.

Solace was no more than a blurry shape before her, but L. D. turned towards her. “Solace, I live in a penthouse apartment. You’ll have to take that elevator again, up to the seventeenth floor.”

“Doctor Rios, may I have a tranquilizer, please?” Solace asked with a grimace. The women laughed.

The elevator ride seemed endless and Solace’s heart beat wildly, but she suffered in silence. Visibly relieved, she practically pulled the others out of the elevator car when the doors opened onto L. D.’s apartment.

Taking in the splendid décor and huge aquarium in the immaculate apartment, Rosanna wondered about Ms. L. D. Jansen. She was obviously a wealthy woman. Her visual memory floated back to the letters on the awning of the building: The Jansen. L. D. must be the owner.

They guided L. D. to a leather sofa where she threw back her head. “Oh my God. My head is killing me.” L. D. moaned. The more sight she regained, the less light she was able to tolerate.

“Do you have ibuprofen? Where’s your bathroom?” Rosanna asked. L. D. flung her right arm in a vague direction. Rosanna followed it, rose and went in search of a pain killer. She looked back and saw Solace stroking L. D.’s matted hair. She hurried down the long corridor thinking that she did not want to leave Solace alone with this woman too long as there was definitely some chemistry between them.

She located a bathroom the size of a master bedroom, dashed to the medicine cabinet and retrieved a large bottle of ibuprofen. She struggled with the child-proof cap, grunting in her efforts. She shook two tablets into her palm, slammed the door, took one more quick glance around the sumptuous room and raced back to the living-room.

“We’re going to have to put her to bed. We can’t leave her here.” Solace whispered. She rubbed her arms. The air conditioner had cooled the apartment to near freezing. At first, it had been refreshing; now she wished she could turn it down.

“We can just cover her and sack out on one of these other sofas. God knows there’s plenty of space here.” Rosanna said, looking around.

“I can’t sleep without covers. It’s freezing in here,” Solace whined.

Rosanna sighed audibly. “Well, all right, Sol the Smart One, what should we do?”

“We’re all going to bed.” They jumped as L. D’s low voice floated up to them, “I have two guest rooms. You can take your pick.”

“First, we have to put those drops in your eyes, L. D.” Solace said, fishing in her shoulder-bag for the prescription.

“Please don’t tell me you are going to put the drops in her eyes, Sol. I know there are many things you do well, but—“ Rosanna said, reaching over to take the bottle of eye drops from Solace.

“I can do it if someone shines a bright light over her head.” Solace said indignantly.

“Solace, I know you can do a lot of things, but I think you should let—“

“Rosanna,” finished Rosanna.

“Rosanna, put the drops in.” But thank you.” Could Solace tell that she was visibly relieved?

Rosanna took the bottle and quickly and deftly administered the required drops. When finished, she deposited the bottle into a pocket of her shorts. She really should have followed in her mother’s footsteps.

They helped L. D. up and guided her to her bedroom. They asked if she wore any pajamas to bed. When she admitted that she did not, they made sure that she had everything she needed. Rosanna was turning to leave when she noticed that Solace seemed rooted to her spot on the plush carpet.

“I need something to sleep in, L. D.” Solace said.

“Why? You won’t need--” blurted Rosanna but stopped herself when she caught Solace’s glower.

L. D. pointed to a drawer where Rosanna found a black tee-shirt and matching draw-string pants. She handed the ensemble to Solace who examined the cuffs of the pants, thanking the spirits that they had elastic as they were quite long. Well, at least they wouldn’t find a block of ice come morning. And what would possess Rosanna to believe that she would allow her to sleep with her? She had given in to the kisses and, of course, her body had betrayed her by sending that familiar tingle throughout her system, but she had no intention of…

They left L. D. and went in search of the other bedrooms. Rosanna took Solace by the hand and led her into a spacious room. She closed the door and reached for her.

With great effort, Solace gently pushed her away and used her cane to find a nearby chair. Rosanna walked over to her and dropped to her knees in front of her, silently grateful for the plush carpeting in this room as well. Covering Solace’s frozen fingers with her own cool hands she gazed up at her lovely face. Rosanna knew that Solace could see her up close; and she wanted her to be able to discern her sincere efforts to rekindle their relationship.

Before she could say anything, Solace commented, “Can you believe we’re here? I knew that L. D. might have some dollars, but I never thought of anything like this. If the carpet is any indication, the room must be exquisite. I’ll have to investigate it later.”

“Yes, the room is gorgeous,” agreed Rosanna.

Solace looked down at Rosanna. She smiled and brushed back a lock of her dark hair. It reminded her that Rosanna forever sought to control her surroundings but inevitably she could not manage all aspects of her life, her lovely tresses being an example. She smiled as she thought of her own new efforts at organization. It was a long, slow process and she had often asked herself for whom she was doing it. Secretly, though, she knew.

“You can’t sleep with me, Sanna. As much as I want you, I can’t. You hurt me more than I knew I could be hurt and I can’t just make love to you as if we’re okay. I’ll need time.” Her fingers traced a path from Rosanna’s eyebrows, to her nose, then to her full, sensuous lips. How they beckoned to her.

Rosanna sighed, kissed Solace’s fingers and placed her head in Solace’s lap. She knew, of course, that Solace was right, but she had hoped that the kiss they had shared had told Solace how much she wanted and needed her. Her throat was dry, but her eyes filled with tears, which dampened Solace’s sundress.

Through choked sobs, she said, “I understand, Sol. I’ll find the other room.” She rose, kissed Solace on the cheek, walked to the door, turned to see Solace once more and left the room.

Solace crossed to the bed and lay down as a fresh wave of tears began. She had thought she was cried out, but she was wrong.

Later that night, unable to sleep, Rosanna found herself back in the dark living-room with only the light of the aquarium. She had brought out a light comforter she’d found in a closet and draped it over her legs. She sat in a love-seat that provided an excellent view of the tropical fish as they darted in and out of caves and plants. She might have channel surfed, but she did not feel like trying to figure out the complex workings of the entertainment center in the lonely guest room.

She heard the unmistakable light tapping sounds of Solace making her way around the room with her cane. She knew Solace would eventually find a seat, but she walked quietly to her, placing her hand on her shoulder. Solace jumped and squeaked, “Sanna, you scared the crap out of me. Say something next time.” Rosanna grinned and took Solace in her arms. It felt wonderful to hold her again. She never tired of the feeling of her soft skin and intoxicating fragrance.

“I’m sorry,” Rosanna whispered in her ear. Could Rosanna feel the slight shiver her warm breath caused?

“Come sit with me.” She led her to the leather love-seat in front of the aquarium. They sat and Rosanna arranged the comforter around them and her arm around Solace’s shoulder. They spoke quietly about the aquarium and its beauty. Rosanna described the colors of the fish and plants and Solace found herself snuggling closer to her. Silence fell upon the room and the next thing Rosanna felt were Solace’s soft lips against her own. Her arms went around her and pulled her close. If the Great Ms. Jansen spied them, well…

The following morning L. D. discovered Solace and Rosanna curled up on the love-seat. Solace’s head rested on Rosanna’s shoulder, the picture of blissful peace. L. D.’s vision was still a bit unfocussed, but she could discern the outline of their bodies. Again, she wanted to give vent to her anger and yank Solace away from Rosanna, but how could she? L. D.’s cool exterior was well-known, but she could not be an ingrate. Rosanna had every reason to hate her and yet she had followed Solace’s lead and never shown any enmity towards her even though L. D. had made it clear that she wanted Solace. She sighed in exasperation and went to order breakfast. It was the least she could do. Then she would politely, but firmly, call her driver and have them driven home. She would have her housekeeper help her or maybe she would call Matilda.