Sometimes, Things Just Happen Ch. 01

If she inhaled any more than she had to, Kate thought, she would expire from the toxic fumes. But if, on the other hand, she held her breath for any longer, she would die from lack of oxygen. It was a lose-lose situation. Ah, hell. Since when did she have any situation other than that?

Kate inhaled. The shock of fifty different body odours, assorted animal stenches and various dog droppings immediately hit her in a gush of warm, stifling air. Kate sighed. Well, that was the subway for you. If you didn't end up getting run over, crushed into little bits by another colliding train, or mugged, that is, of course, if you weren't raped, maimed or killed by the numerous thugs who frequented the trains in the prior to that, you were likely to die anyway simply from lack of clean air.

Someone kneed her in the back. This wasn't as odd an occurrence as one might have thought - this business of being kneed in the back. Well, not quite kneed, exactly, but it was damn close. The jerk must be a giant. Kate was, and had always been, a small girl. At least vertically, anyway. Petite was the glamorised form of the description, but she was simply little. Ah, if only her hips were as little as the rest of her...

Kate swore as she lurched forward, smack into a large woman's chest, then turned around angrily prepared to snarl something insulting at the offender. Her eyes widened. Good god...he was huge! He towered over her, six feet and with a good few inches to spare. His hair was long, unkempt, hanging in dark scraggly tresses over his bristly, stubble covered face. His eyes were a vivid, brilliant green. And just then they were narrowed, looking over her assessingly. One dark, imperious brow was mockingly raised. Kate quickly rethought her priorities, and shut her jaw. She cleared her throat, and attempted a reasonable tone. She still wanted an apology – it was a matter of principle, after all, but perhaps she needn't be quite so forceful about it... Violence was not always the answer, after all.

She cleared her throat again. "Excuse me," she began. "Excuse me, but I think you kneed me in the back, before."

He didn't blink. "Did I? Sorry." He turned away.

Kate's eyes widened. Well, of all the nerve. He was probably a junkie, or a dealer at least, she decided viciously. Or perhaps one of those rude barmen who'd got thrown out of his job. She detested rude barmen. They were always demanding to see her ID. In any case, he certainly dressed like one of them. His clothes were bedraggled and dirty, and his rucksack had wholes in several places– good lord, was that a snake? Dear god, it was a snake! And it was alive. In fact, it was crawling, out of the rucksack, right onto his arm. Did he know it was there? No, of course not, stupid question. Who on earth would carry a snake in their rucksack? What should she do? Scream? No, although she felt like it, that would just be stupid. Oh, no. He had only one side facing her, and that was the side with the snake on it. She swallowed, and reached out to tap him on the shoulder.

His head swivelled. "Look, lady," he began impatiently. "I already apologised, alright? I'm sorry. What more do you want?"

"Uh," Kate began.

"What is it?" he snapped. "Come on, spit it out."

"Er, there's a snake on your arm – no...where'd it go? Oh my god, there's a snake on my arm!"

She panicked. There was no other word for it. In a matter of seconds she had created a whirlwind of chaos, women shrieking, people shouting, her flying around in terror, shaking her arm frantically and yelling, "Get it off, get it off!"

The man, finally, took charge. "Hold still!" he roared, grabbing her arms and trapping her against the wall of the train car. She was breathing rapidly, her face pale with terror, and he was crowding her, leaning in too close. Quickly, efficiently, he plucked the snake off her arm – it had wound itself there tightly – and dropped it back into his rucksack.

She didn't know how long he held her there, pinned against the wall, only that it was some time before she was finally released. He smelt good, she thought vaguely, her face somewhat buried in his neck. Clean, and male, with just the slightest hint of sweat. She'd always been a sucker for manly men, although Jake was probably an exception. But that was Jake. And this man was definitely manly.

Manly...whoa, what on earth was she thinking about? The snake had most definitely addled her brain. It was not the fact that there was a hard, lean, oh my god, aroused male body pressed against her. No, it was definitely the snake. The one that was in his rucksack, not his pants. It had probably even bit her. Yes, and now the poison was making her delusional, making her hallucinate. Great -poison - so she was probably going to die now, too. Just her luck. A wonderful end to a wonderful day. Aroused - ha! The day a man was aroused by her she'd eat her...well, she find something to eat. She just didn't really want to eat any of her hats.

The man finally lifted himself away from her. She'd stopped shaking, Kate realised. Must have been the realisation that she was going to die. They said imminent death did that to people. Made them fatalistically calm. She realised that her unlikely rescuer was speaking.

"My god," he was muttering. "Rescuing hysterical midgets. What next?"

Kate flushed red with indignation. "I am not a midget!" she said loudly. "I happen to be a little short, but that doesn't make me a midget. If anything, you're – you're a giant! Ha! A freakish giant, that's what you are! Midget, my foot."

"Sorry, dear," said the large lady next to her. "But you are rather tiny."

Kate muttered something incomprehensible and turned away. The rest of the trip was spent staring out the window at the same drab tunnel walls, taking in sporadic gulps of air.

By the time Kate got back to her apartment on fifty third she was well and truly irritable. She'd discovered her wallet had disappeared, somehow, on the train and had come to the conclusion that the Snake-Man, as she'd taken to calling him, had filched on. Probably to blow on drugs, she thought bitterly. She'd had almost the entire contents of this week's pay in there, having intended to go shopping for new clothes and to replenish her now empty fridge and pantry. The food was to have lasted her for a month – she always did her food shopping on the first pay day of each month. To make matters worse, now she'd have to cancel all her credit cards, and somehow get a new driver's licence too. She groaned. And to think she'd been having romantic fantasies about him!

She dumped her handbag on the table by the door, noticing grimly that it was open. There was a light flashing on her answering machine. She pressed the "play" button while she went into the kitchen to rummage for something to eat. She found a packet of dried noodles, opened them and munched while she listened to the messages.

"Kate," came Jake's voice on the machine. "I have a favour to ask you..."

Kate groaned. Jake was always asking favours. Perhaps this one would not be so bad, though.

* * *

Some days later Kate was rueing the day she'd ever met Jake.

Being plump, she thought as she stood in front of the unflattering mirror, was a decided inconvenience when one was trying to buy a bathing suit. She sighed mournfully. It was even more of an inconvenience when one was trying to make a man fall in love with her. She knew, of course, that she ought to be grateful God had not decided to give her worse, but that was small consolation when the man she loved was in love with a supermodel. Besides, Kate had never been too good with the whole "be grateful for what you've got" attitude. With another sigh she took one last look at the pink concoction wrapped around her too-curvaceous body, then began taking it off with resignation.

"Kate," Jake called from outside the dressing room. "Are you done yet?" She could just picture him glancing at his watch impatiently, trainers tapping against the floor of the swimsuit shop. She was luckly, Kate supposed, that Jake was her best friend. No one else she knew would have come swimsuit shopping with her...not that she knew many other people. But that was her problem. Men never seemed want to date her...it was just one long friendship after another...

"Almost," Kate replied, quickly pulling on her clothes. "I'm coming." She pulled back the curtains, and sure enough, Jake was tapping his foot, running a hand impatiently through his short blonde curls. Suppressing the urge to roll her eyes, she headed towards the counter, aware Jake was following. "Did you find anything?"

"No," she said, somewhat shortly. "I'll try again later."

She heard Jake sigh behind her. "Kate, just buy something. It doesn't matter what it looks like - no one will care."

"Thanks, Jake," Kate said wryly. "I feel so incredibly comforted now."

Jake muttered something incoherent about women and their clothes. She ignored him.

"Well that was a waste of a day," Jake remarked, sliding behind the wheel of his car. Kate made a face but didn't reply. "At this rate you'll have to swim naked."

Suddenly furious, Kate rounded on him. "Its your fault, you doodlehead. I never wanted to go in the first place! If you hadn't dragged me into this mess!" A lie, she knew. She'd been rapt when Jake had asked her to come up and visit his brother with him, even though she knew he'd only been doing it to make Casey Laurens, aka, Miss I'm Such a Sex Kitten Won't You All Just Stare Stupidly At Me - jealous. Hell, she'd been glad that the "favour" hadn't included any plans to rob a bank...Jake was famous for his harebrained schemes. And any excuse to spend time with him was fine...except she hadn't realised that there was a beach and they'd be swimming...

Which had meant swimsuits. Kate hadn't worn a swimsuit in...five years? Since she was sixteen, in fact, and Bobby Brown had callled her ugly. She'd grown up since then...but her body still felt the same.

"You didn't have to agree to go," Jake pointed out. This too was a lie. He'd begged and pleaded with her for two days before she'd agreed, reluctantly, to come, posing as his girlfriend. If only it were true!

Figuring it was time to change the subject before Jake ran into something - he was notorious for bad driving, Kate remarked casually, "You never told me what the occasion was for your brother's house party."

"My niece's birthday," Jake replied. "Her third."

"Oh! I shall have to get her a gift."

"Don't worry about it," Jake said easily. "I've already got one for both of us."

"I'll get one anyway," Kate decided. "What's her name?"

"Anna," Jake said, smiling. "She's quite adorable."

"What does your brother do?"

"CEO of some company...the bastard's as rich as Croesus. Just returned from Arabia, I believe. Went to commune with the Arabians on some trade deal or other." He laughed. "Marcus, going bush...I can still barely believe it."

"Oh, his wife stays home to look after Anna then?" She smiled wryly.

"No," Jake said, simply. "He isn't married. Anna's illegitimate...product of a one night stand, I believe. Marcus simply found her on his doorstep one day. Her mother's long gone, now."

"Oh," said Kate, subdued and feeling rather guilty for prying. "That's rather sad." Poor child, Kate thought. She must be so lonely without her mother.

Jake nodded. "Shall we get pizza?" They drove the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

The doorbell rang. Kate dropped the shopping bag she'd been looking through on the floor of her bedroom and trudged back to the front door. Well, there went the last of her cash...she'd finally snapped today and yelled a round of insults at her boss, and promptly gotten fired, so there would not be any more forthcoming anytime soon. Her bank balance was rather unhealthy at the moment.

Kate had not led a good career life. The trouble was, she simply did not get along with authority figures, though she'd never know why - or when it started. She'd been fine in school, but the moment that she had stepped into her first job interview...Well, suffice it to say that it had all gone downhill from there.

She'd finally bought the infernal bathing suit and had just been about to treat herself to some choc-chip icecream while staring in desolation at her purchases. Whoever had interrupted her had better have a good reason for delaying her rendezvous with Ben and Jerry. Who on earth would be here at this god-forsaken hour anyway? Well, perhaps the hour was not exactly god-forsaken...it was just past seven...but who did she know that would come calling anyway? Unless it was Jake? The thought made her step quicken.

She opened the door, and almost fell over. The Snake Man stood there, as dirty and dishevelled looking as ever. Yes, Kate decided, he was most definitely either homeless or a junkie. What on earth was he doing here? More to the point, how had he known where she lived?

"You!" she almost growled, not at all pleased to see him. How on earth had he found out where she lived? The thought made her pause. "What are you doing here?"

"I've brought your wallet," the Snake Man replied, somewhat coldly.

"What?"

"Your wallet. Perdita managed to filch it from you, I believe, on the train. I've brought it back."

"Perdita?"

"My snake." He reached into his rucksack, drew out the small python. "Perdita. Remember her?"

Kate gave a little shriek, stumbled backwards. If there was one thing she hated, it was snakes. "Get it away from me!"

"What? Oh, yes." He dropped Perdita gently back into his rucksack. "Perdita likes to take things," he explained. He held out the wallet. "Here."

Kate reached out gingerly, then took it out of his hand without touching him. She eyed him suspiciously, and just resisted the urge to open the wallet and count the money inside. "Thank you," she said stiffly. "It was very honest of you. I realise you need not have done that."

And it was killing her to say it. The Snake Man seemed to realise that. He nodded coolly. "My pleasure."

She heisitated a moment, then opened the wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar note. "Um - take this. Buy yourself some clothes or something." She felt vaguely ridiculously, but did it all the same. Then she shut the door in his face. Honest or not, she wasn't going invite a junkie in...!

* * *

"We're here." Jake's voice startled Kate out of her reverie. She looked around her in bemusement. They were somewhere deep in the country, she knew. All around her there was almost no sign of civilisation...simply lush, rolling green hills...and flowers. Flowers, everywhere. A canopy of trees stood guard towards the west, behind the house, a curtain of foliage that shieded them from prying eyes. Distantly, she could hear the sound of crashing waves. The beach. Her stomach sank. Why, oh why, did they have to have a beach?

"Its a private beach," Jake said consolingly, as if he had read her mind. She smiled thinly at him, then lugged her bags out. Jake had already pulled his out and was heading towards the enormous Victorian mansion standing in the distance. Struggling under the weight of her bags and rueing the paranoia that had made her pack three times as much as she usually would have, Kate hurried after him.

"Uncle Jakey!" A small, energetic bundle dressed all in red came hurtling down the steps into Jake's arms, pigtails flying out wildly behind her. "Uncle Jakey, you came!" Kate paused uncertainly and watched, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Of course I did, munchkin," Jake said with gruff affection. "I wouldn't have missed your birthday for the world."

"Daddy came back too," the little girl confided. "He bought me lots of pwesents. But he says I can't open them 'til tonight. 'Cause I don't turn fwee until tomorrow."

"Well, you're lucky he's letting you open them tonight, aren't you? I've got presents for you too."

"Really Uncle Jakey? Can I see?"

"Not yet, munchkin. There's someone I want you to meet." Kate stepped forward. "Anna, this is my friend Kate. Say hello."

"Hello," Anna said gravely.

"Hello, Anna," Kate said equally seriously. She held out her hand. Anna took it, tentatively. They shook.

"Do you have a pwesent for me too?" Anna looked up at her hopefully.

Kate laughed.

"I do hope," said a husky, masculine voice, "That my vagabond of a daughter hasn't spent all this time soliciting gifts."

"Daddy!" Anna exclaimed, turning and leaping into the man's arms. "Daddy, Uncle Jakey's here!"

"I can see that, sweetie," her father said, smiling affectionately at her. He turned to face Kate. "Hello - " he started to say. "I'm - "

"Good God!" Kate exclaimed in horror.

"Jesus Christ!" He said at the same time.

"Snake Man!"

"The midget!"

They both turned to Jake, bewildered. "Why is the Snake Man your brother?" Kate demanded.

"What?" Jake said, amazed. "Snake Man? Midget? What?"

"You can't be Jake's brother," Kate was saying incredulously. "That's just crazy."

"I keep telling him that he's adopted," the Snake Man replied, a trace of humour in his eyes, "But he never listens."

"This is serious!" Kate snapped. "You cannot be Marcus. You just can't. You're a junkie!"

"Well..." said Marcus with a gesture of defeat. "Perhaps you ought to tell my mother she took home the wrong baby at the hospital, then."

"Argh!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing!" Kate scrutinised him in disbelief. It was miraculous - she had almost not recognised him. Gone was the long, greasy hair, the dirt, the ripped clothes. The man that stood before her had dark hair, cut stylishly and expensively, she was certain. His brows were dark slashes emphasising the severe patrician features. He wore a suit, expensively cut. If she had not known better, never would she have ever pictured this man the way she had seen him...perhaps he was not a junkie after all...

"Jake?" Marcus prompted. "Introduce us, if you please."

"I rather got the impression that you two had met," Jake said dryly. "Kate, meet Marcus Eddington. My brother, even if he'll never admit it. Marcus, Kate Jones."

"A pleasure, Miss Jones," Marcus said gravely. "Welcome to my home. You and Marcus have known eachother long?"

"Oh, ages," Jake said airily. "But we've only been engaged for a month or so."

Kate choked. "En - Engaged?" she managed to get out.

"Yes, dear," Jake said with a meaningful smile. "Engaged. Last month, remember?"

"I see," Marcus said, with a piercing look directed at her. His tone changed abruptly and Kate got the distinct impression of icicles. "Well, congratualations."

"You must remember to get me a ring, darling," Kate said through gritted teeth. "You seem to have forgotten."

"Ah, yes," said Jake, uneasily. "I will, of course."

* * *

"Engaged?!" Kate yelled. "Engaged?!"

"Shh," Jake said anxiously. "Someone will hear."

"Serves you right if they do! Engaged? What are you trying to do?"

"Well," said Jake rather sheepishly. "I didn't think a mere girlfriend would be enough to make Casey jealous. I figured if she thought there was a real chance of losing me she would wake up."

Kate didn't suppress the urge to roll her eyes this time. "Jake," she said with distaste, "You're an idiot."

"I know," Jake said, sounding so unhappy that Kate had to relent. "But you'll do it, Katie, won't you? For me?"

Kate sighed. "Only you, Jake," she muttered disgustedly. "Only you."

* * *

The room Kate was assigned to in the mansion happened to be, for some reason, on the other end of the house from Jake's. As she was leaving to go down to dinner she passed the door next to her room just as it opened and Marcus Eddington stepped out. They almost collided.

"I do beg your pardon," said Marcus, somewhat coldly.

Kate nodded abruptly. "Are you coming down to dinner?"

"Yes. Shall we go down together?"