SS Valentine

"That is my bag, see the tape on the handle?" Frank said, pointing to the bag on the side. As he pointed, he saw not one, but two bags with orange tape on the handle. The tape was a suggestion in the company newsletter to make it easier to identify one's bag and he thought it a good idea. As he was noticing the two nearly identical bags, Penny also realized that there were 2 bags and she had only boarded with one.

Each of them came to the same conclusion at the same time. Someone had screwed up and had given each the same cabin. Whatever the reason, the cruise company would have to sort things out and put one of them into another cabin.

Penny still had her purse on her lap, one hand buried inside to convey (hopefully) the presence of the aforementioned mace. She did, however, noticeably relax and some of the tension between them started to disappear. Frank let his guard down some, the threat of a faceful of mace now lessened.

"Look, someone has made a mistake here. Can you call for the steward and see if we can get things sorted out?" Frank asked Penny.

Penny realized that she would have to take her hand out of her purse to do this, but reluctantly decided that this was indeed a simple mistake and that Frank was not here for some nefarious reason. She slowly pulled her hand out and closed the purse before Frank could see that there really wasn't any weapon there to deal with. She set the purse down, but kept it within easy reach as she picked up the phone and pushed the button for the steward.

Within 2 minutes, a pleasant man in the uniform of the cruise company was at the door. Frank took the lead and tried to explain the situation as he knew it. The man looked at the key card and info each had received and saw that both were in the same cabin. He asked why the problem, weren't they married, each had the same last name. Frank and Penny looked at each other, they had not even exchanged names before this.

"You're Frank and Penny Johnson, right?" the steward asked.

Frank and Penny each had a confused look on their faces as he asked the question.

"You live on 222nd St. in New York, 8934 to be exact. I don't see what the problem is here." The steward continued.

"Yes, that is my address." Frank said

At the same time, penny stated "No, it is 8394."

Frank and Penny looked at each other, but now the steward was the one who looked confused. He asked each to confirm their name and address, discovering the different spelling of the last name and the nearly identical addresses where they lived.

"I'll have to talk to the chief bursar and figure this out. Give me a few minutes, please." He said as he left to pursue the issue.

By themselves for the time being, Frank and Penny had calmed a bit and even smiled at the coincidences.

"I bet this would never happen again in a million years." Penny started.

"You have to admit that it is easy to understand how someone might get us confused. I'm sure they will just find another cabin for one of us and we can get back to our vacations." Frank added.

Penny didn't say anything, but this was not a good start to her vacation, she thought. She could understand the confusion, but a big company like the cruise line should not make little mistakes like this. She still had a feeling of apprehension about Frank but tried not to show it. Their conversation died and each waited in silence for the steward to come back and sort out the problem.

About 15 minutes later there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, Frank admitted the steward and an older man who was wearing more braid on his company uniform. The man introduced himself as Gerard, the ship's bursar.

"I think I understand the problem here, but unfortunately, there is little we can do right now."

Penny broke in with "What do you mean you can't do anything now. Just find another room for him and that will settle everything!"

Gerard looked a bit embarrassed, saying "That would be the best thing to do, but we have a full ship this time. Normally, we might have some free cabins, but the ship was fully booked and all who confirmed have come aboard. There is not a single free cabin that we might move one of you to."

"Well, you're going to have to do something. I am not going to share a cabin with someone else, especially a man I don't even know." Penny stated emphatically.

Frank had stayed out of the conversation so far, but offered "How about the crew's quarters? Any chance you have space there?"

"Unfortunately, we have a full complement of crew this trip as well. Even if we didn't, our insurance regulations prohibit passengers from going into the crew area."

"So what do we do?" Penny asked.

"Right now we don't really have many options. For the time being, I am afraid you will have to find some way to share the cabin. We will be at sea for the next 2 days, but we will put into St. Thomas late Tuesday night. Sometimes we have passengers who want to get off during the middle of a cruise, so perhaps a cabin will free up. If not, one or both of you can get off and catch a flight back to the states."

Frank asked "What about the money we paid for the cruise? Will we get any kind of refund?"

Before the Bursar could respond, Penny put in her opinion "We damn well better get a refund. This is crazy... You deal with thousands of people every week and can't even get 2 names straight!"

Gerard tried to calm the situation, but there wasn't much he could do. "I am sorry about the mix-up. Normally, things go smoothly, but this time things are not normal. I don't want to make excuses, but there do seem to be quite a few coincidences here. As for a refund, I would guess you will get one, but that decision is not mine to make. We will have to talk to someone at corporate, but now it is late Sunday evening and we aren't likely to be able to find someone who can make that decision now. I can see to it that some of the items charged to your cabin, such as drinks, are taken off the bill. For now, that is about all I can offer. Again, I am sorry about the mix-up. I know it hasn't been much, but if I can do anything else, just let me know."

He and the steward left, leaving Frank and Penny to their own thoughts.

"This really sucks!" Frank started. He looked at Penny, and then added "I don't mean anything against you by that."

Penny nodded "I know what you mean. Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't want to spend my vacation sharing a room with you."

Frank was a bit insulted, but he could understand the sentiment. He had taken a minute to check out Penny earlier and although she was not the hottie he had envisioned spending time with, she wasn't that bad looking. He tried to let that thought go and wondered if he was to find that hottie just how could he fulfill some of the fantasies he had been having with Penny in the room. As he pondered this, he remembered that he had not seen a single woman young enough to even think about having a fantasy meeting with.

"Have you seen anyone on this ship, except for crew, that is close to our age?" Frank asked Penny.

"I haven't thought about it much, but to tell the truth, this looks like a convention of the old folk's home."

"I wonder why that is?" Frank finished, but wasn't sure how to find out. He thought just asking someone might be seen as insulting or insensitive so let it go for the moment.

*****

There was an uncomfortable silence between them as each tried to digest what had happened and how they would have to adjust to changes.

"So what do we do now?" Frank started.

"I guess you'll just have to find somewhere to stay until we get into St. Thomas." Penny answered.

"Excuse me? Why should it be me who has to find somewhere else to go? And just where do you suggest that place might be?" Frank replied, his tone a bit strained.

"Not my problem! Just get your bag and you can leave." Penny countered, trying to sound more imposing than she knew she really was.

"That's not going to happen. If anyone leaves, it will be you!" Frank was getting agitated. He thought the cruise line should have been more helpful, but right now, this woman was not going to dictate to him what he was going to do.

They sat glaring at each other, neither willing to back down. Penny thought about calling the Bursar again, but he had not been that accommodating earlier and she doubted if he would offer anything else at the moment. Frank was having similar thoughts. He didn't have any suggestions that might make things easier, the situation was just too bizarre. Finally Penny backed down a bit.

"Is there any way we can share the room but keep the time we both have to be here to a minimum?"

Frank thought about it for a few seconds, and then offered "I think we can find enough things to do around the ship during the day that we won't have to run into the other. Sleeping will really be the only time we might have to both be here."

That didn't sit well with Penny, but she kept her concerns silent for now. She was not anxious to share a bed with a man she did not know, particularly one who was unwilling to compromise with her. Of course, her idea of compromise was not very even sided from Frank's perspective.

"Maybe we can put together a schedule so that we won't have to be here together very often." Penny reluctantly suggested.

"I think we can do something like that. Let's check when meals are served and we can decide just how early to go out and how late we can be out before coming back to go to bed."

Penny inwardly winced at Frank's choice of words, but hoped it was just a poor choice, not any intention he may have had of doing anything but sleeping.

"I can't stay up any later than 11. I want to stick to my normal schedule so usually get up at 7." Penny put in.

"That is about what my schedule is also. I think we can stay out of each other's way during the day and just spend the nights in the cabin together. Hopefully, things will be sorted out in a couple of days and we can each have our own room by then."

Penny nodded, hoping that she could make it that long. Frank did not look like a serial killer, but she hoped he was gentleman enough to respect her space.

Frank said "I have a couple of things in my bag that need to be hung up. How about if I do that now, then I will find something to do for the next few hours until about 11. You can use that time to put away anything you need to and we will sort out things as necessary."

Penny agreed, so Frank looked more closely at the 2 cases and found the one with his name on it. He took out his sport coat and slacks that he brought for the formal dinner and a couple of shirts that needed to be hung. After he was finished, he put his case back against the wall and said he would see Penny in a few hours.

Penny nodded as he left the room, and then gave a huge sigh of relief at being alone. She was a lifelong New Yorker and had as many balls as most men, but right now she was just short of crying as she reviewed the circumstances in her mind. This certainly wasn't the way she had envisioned the tropical cruise starting out and wondered how it could possibly get better if she had to share a cabin with a strange man. She continued to wonder as she hung up some of her own clothes and started putting some of her cosmetics into the small bathroom.

*****

Frank also gave a sigh of relief as he left the cabin. He was not one to seek confrontation and was glad to be anywhere else for the moment. He wondered what to do and then decided another beer was the best idea for now. He would see what was his best option for dinner in a bit and after that, who knows.

Penny had calmed some as she worked to get her items put away, but her stomach was still in knots. Some of it was the situation, but Penny realized she had not eaten anything since an early breakfast this morning. Hoping dinner would help to settle her stomach, she took out the familiar map and looked for the nearest dining room. She ran a comb through her hair and reapplied her lipstick before leaving the cabin and heading for the dining room.

Penny found the dining room and entered, finding a young woman there to direct diners to their tables. The woman seemed surprised to see Penny by herself and even more so when Penny confirmed that she would be dining alone. The woman told her they were set up for couples, but led her to a large round table with 10 chairs and place settings. 8 of the seats were occupied by some rather old looking people who all turned to look at Penny as she was starting to sit down.

"You're going to have to find somewhere else to sit, missy." A rather large woman told her before penny had completely seated herself.

"George and Irene will be coming in soon and we are saving these seats for them." The large woman continued as all the others at the table nodded to emphasize what she had said.

"The hostess brought me here. George and Irene can find some other table to sit at." Penny responded.

"Look here, missy. I said that these seats were taken and I don't care where the hostess said you could sit. You find yourself another seat and get out of that one now!" The fat lady ordered.

The New Yorker in Penny was about to tell her where she could go and what she could do with herself, but she noticed all the others at the table glaring at her and even some at other tables were noticing. They all seemed to be taking the fat woman's side and Penny did not see a friendly face in the surrounding area. Forgetting her mother's instructions to 'respect your elders', Penny got up and left, saying as she walked out "I hope you all choke on your food. And that includes George and Irene too!"

She heard them commenting on her lack of manners and poor upbringing as she walked to the door.

Normally, Penny would not let something like this affect her emotionally, but after the events of earlier in the day, she was not ready for another blow to her vacation plans. She wandered the main deck for a bit before finding a shop that sold ice cream and sweets. Forgetting her earlier thoughts about not contributing to her big butt, she found solace in a large sundae with all the gooey toppings. She washed it down with a diet soda, her concession to the many calories she was consuming.

As Frank sat at the bar with his beer, he started to relax. The events so far had not been what he was expecting, but hoped that things might get better, though it looked as though that might not happen until at least Wednesday when they would make port in St. Thomas. Trying to put the negatives into the back of his mind, he took a look around the bar. There weren't too many here now, but those who were all seemed to be senior citizens. He also noticed the background music was a medley of Big Bands from the 30's and 40's. He was again struck by the thought that he had not seen a single passenger, other than Penny, who could have been younger than his grandparents.

Frank's beer was almost gone and the bartender had noticed as he passed by.

"Ready for another yet?"

Without much thought, Frank just nodded and then he said "Can I ask something?"

The man stopped getting the beer and answered "Sure. What's on your mind?"

Trying not to be too loud, Frank asked "What's with all the old folks. I don't think I have seen anyone even close to my age here."

The bartender answered "Come to think of it, you are the only young person I have seen. The boat is booked for a promotion for older citizens. We get special groups booking occasionally, so it isn't too unusual."

"I didn't hear anything about senior groups. How come I ended up on a cruise with a bunch of old folks?" Frank asked, again keeping his voice low.

"I assume that there were some cabins that were not filled and the line sold them to whomever to fill the ship." Was the reply.

Frank thought about this for a minute and knew why the trip had been so cheap and why it had been a last minute thing. The cruise line must have given its empty cabins to the ticket consolidator to find passengers to make sure the cabins were all filled. Those cabins were sold to whoever had the time and money to take the trip without concern for any factors the rest of the passengers might have in common.

"Have you seen anyone else this trip who isn't on Social Security?" Frank asked the bartender.

"Nope. You are the only one, though since this is the first day, maybe there will be others."

"How many cabins do you think were not filled originally? Any place where one might go to find any others like myself?" Frank asked.

"Sorry, I don't really get that kind of information. After a few days there might be more information floating around with the crew, but for now, the only ones who know are the officers and you won't likely get them to offer any help."

Frank thought back to Gerard and how unhelpful he had been. True, maybe his hands were tied at the moment, but still, he could have tried a bit harder.

The bartender went back to washing glasses and filling an occasional order as he worked. Frank sipped his second beer and worked on a bowl of peanuts that was sitting on the bar. He thought about dinner, but the beer and peanuts were filling him up so decided to forgo a formal dinner tonight. He thought he might stop at the grill he had passed on his tour and maybe get a burger before he went back to the cabin and had to deal with Penny again.

Penny had finished her ice cream and it was doing its job of sending her brain toward a sugar coma. She made her way back to the cabin, grateful that Frank was not there and turned on the TV. She did not have far to look before finding a tear jerker on the Lifetime channel and sat musing about the lousy day and how life in general just sucked. She thought about an early bedtime, but didn't want to be asleep and defenseless when Frank came back. She gave some thought to how she could fortify herself against any attempts he might make to get too friendly.

Frank finished with his second beer and left $5 for the bartender, the cost of the liquor charged to his cabin. He hoped the words Gerard had left with about taking some of his room charges off the final bill were accurate. He did not want to seem to be taking advantage, but if he could drink for free he was going to do his best to find the limit of Gerard's generosity. He had seen the casino on his tour of the ship earlier and decided that he might kill a couple of hours there before he had to go back to the cabin. He checked the map to be sure he remembered which way to go and then walked to the casino entrance.

Inside, he was reminded of the casinos at Atlantic City he would occasionally visit during his summer vacation. The low light of the room, the flashing lights of the machines and the sounds of bells and all the other sensory stimulants were just the same here. Frank wasn't a big gambler, but would drop $20 or $30 into the slots at times. He still had a few quarters in his pocket from earlier, so wandered around looking before he found a machine that looked promising. He went up to the machine, dropped in his quarter and soon 5 quarters were falling out into the tray. Frank reached into the tray to get his 'winnings' when a voice from beside him startled him.

"What the hell are you doing with my machine???"

Frank looked at the older woman next to him, her white hair a light shade of purple in this light, a cigarette dangling from her lips.

"What do you mean your machine? You are playing that one." Frank answered, pointing to the machine the woman was standing in front of.

"I'm playing them both!" She turned to try to get into Frank's face, although he was a head taller than she was. Frank guessed she outweighed him by 75 pounds, but wasn't about to let some old lady push him around.