Star City Stories: Enter Sandman

"But why would you want to be a Sandman?" I asked. He looked at me and shivered.

"I'd rather be one than have one of those motherfuckers come after me," he said seriously.

"Donnie," I said in shock. "We don't use language like that. Where did you hear that term?"

"From Mr. Bookman," he said. "He's the janitor at school. I heard him and his assistant JJ Evans talking about it. They're afraid of the Sandmen and they're both big giant black guys. Everyone is afraid of the Sandmen, Mom. What would you do if the Sandmen were coming after you?"

"What should I do?" I asked.

"There's nothing you can do," he said. "If those mother fu...Sorry mom...guys are after you, they're going to get you. You may as well just wait for them to come. It's a wrap."

I just shook my head. "Say your prayers, little one. Don't forget my son, to include every one. I tuck you in warm within to keep you free from sin..." I began.

"Til the Sandman comes," he said sleepily. I shook my head again.

"Mom," he said. "I changed my mind. If I was a scientist I could invent something to beat the Sandmen. That's what I need to do. I need to make something you can keep on your bed or in your pillow to keep those...them from doing anything." I nodded.

"What should you do until then?" I asked.

"Sleep with one eye open," he said. "...Gripping your pillow tight."

"After a while, we'd just have a bunch of guys who just waited around for the Sandmen and did battle with them. They'd just get ready all day long and once night fell they'd go to war with the Sandmen. Exit light. Enter night," he said sleepily. He was so sleepy he could barely keep his eyes open.

"I'll stay here with you, Donnie," I said. "I'll watch over you while you sleep. Your father and I would never let anyone, Sandmen or otherwise, hurt you. Take my hand. We're off to never-never land."

Less than five minutes later he was asleep. I needed to talk to his teacher about the janitors at the school. But there was a bigger problem. Perhaps Donnie had simply outgrown that school. He had so much time to wander around the building and listen to crap from the janitors because he was so far ahead of his class in most subjects that they didn't know what to do with him.

As I walked out of Donnie's room, I ran into my husband.

"You really do need to stop that now," he said gently.

"Shit, I don't know how he found out what your brother does for a living. I never told him," I said. "But everyone is a little bit afraid of the Sandmen."

"They shouldn't be," said Denton, shaking his head. "Most people have the wrong idea. The Sandmen aren't assassins. They only assist people who already want to die. You have to ask for their service. They've never killed anyone who didn't want it."

"That you know of," I said.

"Anyway that isn't what I was talking about," he said. "He's getting too old for fairy tales and prayers."

"But not too old for Star Trek PJs?" I asked.

"Star Trek is based on science and the exploration of human potential," he said. "Those are concepts that will get us off of this dying planet and expand his mind. Religion is pure hokum and will only hold us back and lead to a false sense of hope. A bunch of people kneeling and scraping and praying to a god that may or may not exist is not going to save us. We need to save ourselves and religion is no help with that."

We went into our living room and sat down on the couch.

"So how long before you leave?" he asked. I looked at him strangely.

"How soon before you have them kick me out?" I asked. He looked back at me with an expression on his face that mirrored my confusion.

"I assumed that you'd want to be with your lover," he said. "I will, of course, keep Donnie with me."

"I don't have a lover, imbecile, unless you're talking about yourself. And I do want to be with you since I love you with all of my heart. And why would Donnie stay with you?" I asked.

"Come on, Beth," he said. "We both know that Donnie is...special. He needs to be around people and things that will enhance the development of his mind and his skills."

"I could do that," I said.

"Not as easily as I could," he said. "What would you do, let him help you cook? All I'd have to do is start taking him to work with me."

"I don't want him growing up to be a God damned science nerd," I said.

"What do you want him to be then," he asked.

"Denton, we know and socialize with a lot of scientists, we don't have a choice. Haven't you noticed that there's something wrong with almost every one of them. I don't want my baby to be like that. I want him to be like you. You're the smartest one of the bunch, but you're also a complete person. You put people first. You're...Denton you're the one that's special."

"Yeah," he said sarcastically. "I'm so special that the woman I love most needs to cheat on me." I started crying then and he just grabbed me and held me while I cried.

"What do you want Beth?" he asked.

"Denton, more than anything else, I want us to forget that this happened. It was an aberration, just like in your experiments. In this case, it was a repayment of an old debt from before we were together. It's over and done with. It will never happen again and I just wish we could forget it and move on. I love only you Denton. You have to understand that. Denton, I would die before I'd ever hurt you. What do you want Denton? Do you want me gone? Because if you do, you don't have to send the Sandmen after me. Just tell me that you don't love me and I'll disappear. Maybe you should send them though, because I wouldn't want to live without you."

"Beth I can't send the Sandmen anywhere," he sighed. "I don't control them."

I just looked at him hoping that my love for him shone through.

"Okay," he said. "It's going to take me some time to get over this, but I'll try." My heart was so full it nearly burst. I jumped on him and he pushed me back.

"Beth, I told you it was going to take some time," he said. "We're going to need to rebuild trust. That's going to take a while. We're going to need to rebuild our intimacy and even then, I'm probably going to be seeing visions of you bent over and him..." he stopped and shook his head. "It's going to take some time. We might need counseling."

I woke up angry the next morning. Denton was gone. He was probably already at work in that lab of his. Donnie was already dressed and playing his video game. The remnants of his breakfast were on the kitchen table.

I watched him and smiled. In the new morning, every trace of his fear was forgotten. No thoughts of Sandmen hindered his performance in the game. Exit night, enter light. Life goes on with the coming of the dawn.

My smile faded as I considered his future. Would he be like his father? The larger projects seemed to continue, the smaller and moderate ones went belly up on an almost daily basis. Each day, more and more responsibility fell on my husband's shoulders.

He bore, literally the weight of the world and until now he'd done it with a smile on his face and joy in his heart. He was a symbol of hope for more people than I can count. He oversaw more projects than anyone knew. Besides his scientific knowledge, he had the gift of seeing the big picture. He could truly look through the endless number of proposals that came in from both major and minor scientists and think tanks. He could see instantly which ones were useful and which were vanity or simply pointless.

He was able to do this as if there was no pressure on him at all because Denton isn't like the rest of us. Denton is fearless. Denton isn't afraid of the asteroid. He isn't afraid of dying in 51 years. Denton is only afraid of dying now. He always tells me that if the project is successful and we save humanity, it would all have been for nothing if he'd wasted the lifetime that he and I have to share.

Denton lives in the moment. Unlike my handlers, Denton isn't worried about life after death. Denton has often told me that Heaven isn't too far away. He sees it every time he looks in my eyes. His version of Heaven is being married to me and doing his science.

For a long time, I've been trapped between a rock and a hard place. I've been trying to find the middle ground in a war that has yet to be declared. Yesterday, I made a terrible mistake while trying to play both sides against the middle. It almost cost me everything. That forced me to pick a side and I have. I choose Denton.

Today, I intend to tender my resignation to those who put me in this position and get back to the business of inspiring my husband. I need to give him back that glow of confidence in his eyes that dimmed so greatly yesterday, when he saw me with that man.

I'm sure that there will be threats and counter threats, but in the end they'll have to let me go. I'm only one woman and they have too much at stake to risk it all over me. I mean very little to them, but to Denton...?

To Denton I'm everything. He showed me that yesterday. Denton is a proud man. But he put his pride aside for me. He may be the most powerful scientist in the world. He could easily have sent me away and already have two or three younger, prettier women in my place now. But he kept me, even after what I'd done because he loves me.

Right now it's all eating him alive, because he doubts whether or not I love him. He shouldn't though. Because I might have made a mistake, but from now on, it's he and I against the world. I'll stand with him against life, against death, against God if necessary. Til death do us part.

Donnie gets up and grabs his book bag when he hears the school bus blow its horn outside. "Bye Mommy," he says as he hugs me.

I prepare myself for my final meeting.

An hour later, just as I'm about to leave, the doorbell rings. I'm not expecting anyone so it comes as a surprise. When I get to the door the surprise turns to horror.

Looking through the peephole, I can see that it's the guy from yesterday.

"What do you want?" I asked him through the door.

"We need to talk," he yelled. "Can I come in?"

"Hell no!" I scream back to him.

"It's really important," he yells. "It'll only take a few minutes."

"Wait there on the porch," I yell back.

I grab my purse and coat and go out through the door, locking it behind me.

As I look at him, I almost laugh. I'd noticed that his words seemed to be slurred and I can see the reason for it now. His lips are comically swollen and his jaw appears to be swollen as well. Talking is obviously painful.

"You look good," he says with some degree of difficulty.

"There's no need for pleasantries. Get to the point," I said.

"Yesterday a guy in a bar beat the shit out of me for no reason," he said. "Is there a chance that your husband...?"

"Not at all," I said. "Denton isn't that kind of person. I already told you."

"What did he do to you?" he asked.

"Something I probably don't deserve," I said.

"What?" he asked. "I don't see a mark on you."

"He forgave me," I said.

"What a fucking wimp," he sneered. "I'd have severely beaten your ass."

"You mean like you claim he had done to you?" I spat. "I think that's the difference between you and him. He knows that beating on me or you won't make him feel any better. And he loves me too much to ever hurt me. So unfortunately, he got all of the pain for my stupidity. I'll never put him through that again. Now if you're done, I have somewhere to be."

Like Denton, I prefer the monorail. I take the train deep into the city. For some reason this time my trip seems different. Maybe it's a mental thing. The added pressure of what I intend to do is probably making me edgy.

I walked into a store that looks just like every other store on the block. I walk right past the man behind the counter and through a door marked employees only.

Behind the door was a storage room that looked like any other storage room in any other store. Shelves with common products lined the walls. A mop and a mop bucket full of dirty water sat in the corner.

I placed my hand against the wall on what looked like any other tile. As soon as my hand touched the tile it was scanned and a hidden section of the wall opened. I pushed against the wall and it swung free on well-oiled hinges.

Beyond the hidden door, everything changed. The room beyond the door looked like any other church. Richly appointed icons and decorations covered every surface of every wall. Two small rows of leather covered pews stretched from the dais at the front of the room to the back wall. It was a very small church but a very luxuriously outfitted one. I wondered again how it was possible for them to have smuggled all of this into Star City.

Then I remembered that although the church had fallen out of favor, it had never been outlawed. The war was still undeclared.

"How are you doing my child?" he asked, stepping out from a hidden alcove.

"Father, we must talk," I said. "I can no longer do this." His eyes looked at me and narrowed into slits and then he relaxed and the pleasant expression took over his facial features again.

"You are troubled, nothing more," he said. "The pressure of your precarious position and all of the sacrifices you've made in the Lord's name weigh on you. You are merely ti..."

"That's not fucking it!" I screamed. My shrill, angry voice echoed through the room and two men who looked like guards popped out of the same alcove the priest had come from.

"You blaspheme," he said, with a shocked look on his face. "You used profanity in the house of the Lord."

"I'm done!" I said loudly. "I can't do this anymore. I won't do it."

"But sister, you must," he said. "Do you know how difficult it was to get you into this position? Do you know how much your training cost us?"

"And you've recouped it several times over with the information I've brought you and the aid I've rendered in getting some of your people into this city," I spat back. He looked at me warily.

"What do you mean, "YOUR people?" he asked. "Don't you mean, "OUR people, sister? Are you having another one of your little episodes? I remember the last one was about 7 years ago after you bore a child for your target. You wanted to quit then too. Why don't you take a few days off? Why not tell your target that you have a sick relative? We could even arrange to have a letter written and mailed to your house. You could spend the time back at the convent. You haven't been there in a very long time. Perhaps a few weeks of prayer, reflection and meditation would suffice to bring you back to normal, my child. I will also pray for you myself."

"Instead of praying for me, why don't you just go and shit in your hat, Father," I said equally calmly. "There's nothing wrong with me. I am normal. I've just realized that I love my husband and my child, more than I love YOUR cause. I am a Christian, Father. I believe in God and I try my best to do only good. The problem is that some of the things that the Church makes me do are NOT good. Yesterday, I had sex with a man that I'm not married to. I saw your spy following me in the market to watch what I did or didn't do..."

"Sister, you may not understand all of the things we have you do, but trust me, they are necessary. You were put in the position you are in for the most grave of reasons. It is imperative that you remain steadfast to our cause or all is lost. Sometimes we must do a little evil to do a greater good. Your current situation is a perfect illustration of that. We've directed that you have sex with other men to prevent you from falling in love with the monster we assigned you to. Apparently it wasn't enough. Perhaps we should have had you do it more often, because you seem to have succumbed to the man's charms anyway and..."

"Father, if you ever call my husband a monster again, I'll slap the shit out of you, here in your own Church. I'm telling you I don't want to be a part of this anymore. God's love is pure. The church doesn't seem to be. Adultery is a sin, so why have you forced me to do it? What good does it do my soul to break the commandments?"

"Sister this isn't about saving your soul," he hissed. "It's about saving the Church."

"Well perhaps the Church doesn't need to be saved," I hissed right back. "If the Church stoops to breaking the commandments just to continue, what good is it? When did the Church rise above the faithful?"

"Sister, you need a break," he said in a low voice.

"Father, I'm done," I said back. "I quit. I just want to live out my life with my husband and my son."

"A husband that you wouldn't have met if it wasn't for us," he sneered. "A child that you wouldn't have without the husband that we provided. You owe your family and your life to us."

"And because of that, I won't bring all of your little intrigues tumbling down around you," I said. "But I will no longer aid you or report to you ever again."

"In that case, Sister," he said. "You need to be very careful. If I were you I would probably just try to disappear. Your husband may not be as forgiving when an anonymous article that mentions you and your dubious background appears on the internet."

"Then we are at an impass, Father," I said. "Because as you seem to be hinting, when that article appears, I'll probably lose my family, but I'll tell my husband every single thing I know about your Church. Every meeting place, every nun that has married or associated with a scientist. I'll tell them your goals and the entire God damned plan. I'll ignite a war between the Church and Science that will make the persecution of scientists during the renaissance seem tame. And Father this time there will be no Galileos. This time Science will win." His face contorted.

"Look at the world around you Father, even now it crumbles. Crime is rampant, humanity turns inward and becomes more beastly due to its fear. There are only a few places left on the planet where order still reigns and everyone is trying to get into them. Those places are the cities where groups of scientists work to get humanity off of our doomed planet. When we discovered Shiva, people all over the world looked for something to save them. Millions of them turned to the church. The Church told them it wouldn't happen. You told them that God wouldn't allow his creation to be destroyed, but day after day that rock draws ever closer to earth."

"Without Science, we wouldn't have even known that it was out there. After a while the Hail Mary's and prayers could no longer soothe the public, so what did they do in their rage? They tore down all of the churches and synagogues and every other religious institution they found. They threw them away in favor of something more concrete. So now you hide like cockroaches around the fringes of society. Father, you can't afford a war with me. My husband would bring your church down around you and crush it into rubble."

"You called him a monster, and you might be right. But for now the monster is docile and resting. In that state, the monster is not your enemy. He doesn't even notice the cockroaches. But if you awaken the monster...especially if you arouse his ire by threatening something that he loves and Father, make no mistake about it, my husband loves me...that monster will have your ass for lunch."

"But Sister..." he sputtered.

"Don't call me that again," I said. "I told you already, I quit. My name is Beth Woods. And if it all comes down to it, I'll go to hell with my husband."

"The hand of God shall strike you down," he hissed. "And it will save us all. It won't be your scientists. They will fail. You'll see, bitch!"

"Father, have you ever considered that maybe God has already shown his hand in saving us?" I asked. "Maybe it was God who gave us, my husband and my son to lead us off of this doomed rock. Maybe God sent Denton Woods like he sent Moses. I guess you don't want that to be true do you? Because if that was the case, then you'd be fighting against God yourself wouldn't you?"