Staring at the Sun Ch. 07

I saw Jilly raise her eyebrows and a twist of fear shot through me. What had Richard done? My worst fear was that he'd given the Harpers a stake in the business in return for some capital to see us through. The thought of Jilly lording it over me in my own business was too awful to contemplate.

I put my hand to my head and rubbed my eyes. "I really need a shower, Jilly. I feel terrible."

If I was hoping to gain some genuine sympathy, I was mistaken. "Yes, you were hitting the bottle hard at lunchtime." She laughed nastily and I frowned. I only remembered drinking a couple of glasses and I certainly didn't need a label of "heavy-drinker" added to my list of faults.

I had an overwhelming need to be alone, my thoughts running wild as she stood and watched my reaction. When was this nightmare going to end and when was Richard going to tell me the truth? What other surprises had he planned for me?

*

When Richard returned a couple of hours later he was in no mood to discuss our business affairs. Burnt red by the hot sun and reeking of alcohol he made straight for the bed and collapsed amid the pillows, his rumpled clothes making him look like a tramp.

I stood and watched as he immediately fell asleep, a sense of dread overwhelming me and wondering what had made him drink so heavily. The frustration I felt at not being able to talk to him about Jilly was frightening. I wanted to hit him, shout and scream at him that he had kept me in the dark about the problems and hadn't thought to ask me my opinion and find out whether I was in any position to help. I had never expected marriage to be like this and had always thought that our partnership was a balanced one, both at home and at work. What had happened for him to lose so much faith in my abilities?

Knowing that there was no way I could stay in our room and listen to the sound of him snoring, I slammed the door and made my way back to the garden. It was approaching early evening and I was ready for dinner, my simple dress accentuating the light tan the sun had given me today.

A cool drink in the shade was a perfect way to calm down and sort out my thoughts over the best way I could approach Richard without starting yet another argument. The last thing I wanted was our problems to affect the other couples and create an atmosphere. That would just enhance Jilly's perception of us and I vowed I wouldn't give her the pleasure.

The garden was full of the golden early evening light and devoid of people or dogs so I made my way over to the huge rustic table and helped myself to a bottle of rose wine that was chilling in a stone cooler. Raising the glass to the sun I gazed into its ruby depths and wished that I could be somewhere on my own with no problems or worries. But was that ever a realistic situation?

I sat down and fixed my eyes on the distant horizon, my view travelling over the neat rows of vines that stretched away from the house. I could see a small tractor trundling through the greenery and wondered what Mike's vineyard was like and whether he envied Jake's lifestyle as well.

The wine tasted good and I savoured the clean freshness in my mouth as I swilled it over my tongue. Just one of the simple pleasures in life, but on this occasion I couldn't relax and enjoy. The sense of foreboding I felt over the business was growing worse and Jilly's words made the anxiety within me escalate into panic. If my parents were aware of Richard's plans, why hadn't they told me? And what were they hoping to achieve?

A sudden noise behind me made me jump and I turned to see Jake watching me, a slight smile playing over his lips. "You seem preoccupied, Louise. Everything alright?"

I looked at him and tried to gauge his mood. His eyes were bright and the sun had deepened the tan on his face, highlighting the white of his smile and making him appear more attractive than ever. How I wished I could trust him to tell me the truth, but I couldn't. Part of me screamed out to be careful, to not let him know how desperately worried I was.

"I'm just enjoying your view. You must feel so lucky to have this house."

He shrugged his shoulders and raised his own glass to his lips. "It's a house, Louise, nothing more. Surely people are more important?"

He must have noticed the surprise in my eyes as he made his way over to me, the scent of his aftershave reaching my nostrils and sending a shiver down my spine. "I'm not sure what I've done to you, Louise, but you seem determined to have me down as the bad guy in all this."

I was stunned by his words and he momentarily silenced me. I could only gaze up at him as he stood before me, his eyes searching my face as if he wanted to look right inside me.

"I'm sorry, Jake, if I've ever given you that impression but Richard's been so cagey about your friendship...I don't know what to believe any more."

"All Richard is doing is trying to sort out the problems in the only way he knows how. He just wants to protect you from the worry."

I felt the anger flare inside me again. "Why the hell does everyone think they have right to "protect" me from the problems in the business? What is going on?"

"I really think you should discuss that with Richard. He's just trying to help in the only way he knows how."

I felt myself trembling with anger as we faced each other. "What's this about you meeting him in April? In London?"

He seemed shocked by my words and took a long drink of his wine. "Who told you that?"

"Your wife, Jake. She seemed determined to plague me today about the business and even tried to discuss my affairs in front of Lisa and Diana."

He reached forward and took my hand and I jumped with nerves. His touch was warm and gentle and I shivered as he gazed at me. "I'm sorry, Louise. Jilly just wants to help too. She knows how long I've known Richard and she knows how much of a friend he is."

"How much of a friend? But Richard's only ever mentioned you to me once, a long time ago. It's not as if you see each other on a regular basis."

Jake took hold of my other hand and drew me towards him. We were so close now and I could smell his spicy scent even more. His thumbs started to rub the inside of my wrist and I felt a quiver of desire shoot through me, despite all my efforts to resist.

"Listen to me, Louise. We go back a long way and shared a lot at University. When Richard contacted me to tell me he was having problems I couldn't just ignore him, could I?"

I took no notice of his question and asked one of my own. "Tell me one thing, Jake...when we met you at the pub in Dover? Was that all arranged?"

He shook his head and drew me closer. Wrapping his arms around me he held me tightly and I could feel the heat from his body. Every part of me wanted to pull away but I couldn't. My blood was racing through my veins and I could feel my heart banging in my chest as he gazed down at me.

"That meeting was a pure coincidence, Louise. I was as surprised as you were. Oh, I may have told Richard that I was heading down here, and asked him if he wanted to come and visit, but the night we met certainly wasn't arranged."

I rested my cheek against his shirt and breathed in his scent. His hands were lightly stroking my back and I felt a twinge of desire begin to grow inside me. How could I be feeling like this now after my emotional conversation with Mike last night? What was wrong with me to be so involved with two so very different men?

"I just want us to be friends, Louise. We seem to have got off to a bad start, but I want that to change."

I looked up at him, wanting so much to trust him and allow myself to relax into him, but I couldn't. A sudden image of him and Jilly discussing our affairs came into my mind and I stiffened. Was he doing this with me now to soften me up?

"I'm sorry, Jake. I don't know what to think any more. I just want to go home, sort this out and see my children."

"I know, I know," he soothed, and brushed away a lock of hair from my face. Lifting my chin he looked deep into my eyes and I knew that he was going to kiss me, his hold tightening around my waist and pressing my body against his. For a split second I wondered what it would be like to make love with Jake Harper. Wondered what it would be like to watch his face as he climaxed inside me. I shivered as I imagined his hard naked body over me as I drew him in closer. But as I was slowly beginning to surrender to the desire I was feeling, another image filled my mind. Mike's warm brown eyes as he smiled at me, the understanding in his voice as he tried to reassure me last night and I knew that Jake was trying to manipulate me even further and draw me into the web of lies and deceit that he had created with my husband.

I pulled away and turned my back on Jake, my hands trembling as I took a sip of the wine, the coolness slipping down my throat and easing my nerves slightly.

"I'm sorry, Louise. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. Let's just forget this shall we?"

I nodded, my eyes too full of tears to turn around and face him. I couldn't let him see the anguish on my face or know that he had managed to unsettle me so much. "I'm going back to my room, Jake. To find out how Richard is."

"A good idea. He certainly enjoyed the wine at lunchtime."

"I know," I replied with a frown. "Why did he drink so much?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders again. "It was there. Maybe he was trying to escape from his worries? Who knows?"

On the way back to my room, I managed to hold back the tears. Why couldn't Jake be a good friend? Someone who was genuinely trying to help rather than be a ruthless manipulator who was only concerned with furthering his own career and ambitions? Mike was there for me, but financially he was in no position to help, even if I wanted him to. The thought of accepting charity to get ourselves out of our mess made me cringe. I wouldn't do it, no matter what the consequences were.

*

Richard never appeared for dinner that night – he was still deeply asleep when I went back to check on him so I covered him with a light blanket and left him to it. A terrible sense of loneliness overwhelmed me and I sat on the bed and finally let the tears flow. I yearned for my home and the children and wanted nothing more to be back in my own house and looking forward to a quiet night in front of the television. I knew I would have to face the others this evening on my own and I'm sure everyone would be wondering what was wrong with Richard to get so drunk like that.

Going into the bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face and attempted to repair my make-up. My eyes were bloodshot and there were streaks of mascara ingrained on my cheeks. What a mess I looked and I sighed as I dabbed at the stains with a tissue. In the bedroom I could hear Richard start to snore again, the sound reverberating through the silence of the room. Outside a car door slammed, one of the dogs barked and I heard a woman's laughter carrying over the still air.

Going to the window I peered out and saw Jilly embracing a tall dark-haired woman, her face animated with delight as she drew the other woman close. A black sports car stood in the background and I wondered who she was. The two women were obviously good friends and I watched as Jilly led her around the back of the house to the terrace, their laughter shattering the peace of the evening.

Returning to the bathroom, I hastily reapplied my make-up, sprayed a few drops of perfume onto my wrists and smoothed down my dress. I felt rather like someone going to meet my doom, but I summoned up all my confidence and opened the door. Richard never stirred as I shut the door behind me and with trembling legs followed in the footsteps of my hostess and her mystery friend.

*

The restaurant was buried deep in the country, a former farmhouse that had been converted into one of the most sought after eating establishments in the area. Our convoy of vehicles made its way slowly along the single track road that led to the vine-covered courtyard, the small car park full of expensive cars, most of them bearing GB plates.

I hadn't expected to eat out, but Jake and Jilly had made a sudden decision to visit "La Ferme Auberge" and we were just expected to tag along and be happy with their choice. The evening's plans had been revealed to me by Lisa when I returned to the terrace and explained that Richard would be staying in our room.

"Is he OK?" Lisa had asked, genuine concern in her eyes as I took a seat next to her.

"Just pissed out of his head..." I laughed but my eyes remained hard, a fact that Lisa couldn't help but notice.

"Mike told me he was going for it at lunchtime. Apparently, Richard was trying hard to beat Jake, but he just kept missing the ball. And I don't think Rob helped either..."

I looked over at our fellow guest as he chatted to Jake, his face looking demonic in the flickering candlelight. "Why? What was going on?"

Lisa shrugged. "I'm not really sure, but I think Rob was being a total prat, as usual. I really can't stand the man and wonder why Diana has stuck with him for so long."

She added. "I also can't see what Jake sees in him either. Rob's just a slimy little shit."

I laughed. I'd never heard Lisa talk like that before and wondered what Rob had done in the past to give her that impression of him. "I don't like him either. He gives me the creeps whenever he looks at me. That sarcastic look of his makes my skin crawl."

Lisa nodded and took a sip of her gin and tonic. "Diana deserves better than that. He's really giving her a hard time at the moment. He's such a bully."

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Mike who kissed his girlfriend on the cheek, a warm smile on his face as he glanced at me.

"How's Richard?"

I shrugged. "He was asleep when I left him and he can stay like that all night as far as I'm concerned. He looks terrible."

Mike smiled. "He'll feel worse tomorrow. And I think Jake's planned yet another excursion for us all."

Lisa groaned and emptied her glass. "As long as he doesn't expect me to join in. I've had enough of this now. They're both getting on my nerves."

"Lisa..." Mike warned and shot her a look. She looked back at him and I could see her blush slightly in the gloom of the evening.

To change the subject I asked them both who the new visitor was. She was still talking animatedly to Jilly, her long dark hair gleaming in the last rays of the sun. Beautifully made up and wearing a long cream dress, she looked the epitome of elegance and wealth. Her tanned skin was flawless and she seemed to glow, taking the radiance of the dying sun and reflecting it back onto the small group of people that hung onto her every word.

"Sophie Legrange. Married to a Frenchman and extremely wealthy. They own a hotel near Cahors and she runs it with a rod of iron, apparently."

I listened as Lisa gave me a quick run down on our new guest and saw the envy on her face as she described her lavish lifestyle and the charmed world in which she lived.

"She's a good friend of Jilly's. They're made for each other."

The evening had faded into night before we were rounded up and dispatched to the restaurant in three cars, Jilly and Sophie roaring off in the black open topped sports car, their hair streaming out behind them as the gravel crunched under the tyres.

Now, as we sat around a large table on the terrace of the restaurant, glistening bunches of grapes hanging over our heads, I looked around at the assembled group and wondered how on earth I had arrived at this scene. I hardly knew these people but strangely, they seemed to know all about me, even the mysterious Sophie Legrange whose eyes rested on me every now and again, a knowing smile on her beautifully made-up lips.

I needed Richard now more than ever, for moral support and to avert those curious glances from Diana and Rob, who, I'm sure, suspected that all was not well with our marriage. Diana had greeted me warmly, her hand resting on my arm as we chatted, but Rob had kept his distance and I was relieved. I was still dreading him talking to me about the scene with Mike last night and now I was alone, I might have been seen to be fair game.

But I was seated between Mike and Jake and I could feel my arousal growing again as the wine flowed. Both men looked gorgeous and in my most private thoughts I had a fantasy of being with them both at once, Jake kissing and licking at my nipples while Mike thrust his hardness inside me...

I quivered with the thought and Jake noticed. "Not feeling cold are you?"

I laughed, my stomach flipping as he gazed at me. "No, I'm fine. Just thinking that's all."

"Nice thoughts?"

I blushed. I wondered what he would say if he knew what I was really thinking but there was no way I would ever tell him. I would seem like a sex-starved housewife on top of all my other shortcomings.

Jake leaned back in his chair and watched as I took a sip of my wine. "You know you are such an attractive woman, Louise. Does Richard appreciate that?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea. When you've been married as long as we have, you tend to take each other for granted."

"I know. Tell me about it." He glanced at his wife and I saw that same glimpse of frustration and sadness. "Jilly is married to the houses it seems. Gives them so much fucking love and attention, there's nothing left over."

I looked at him in surprise. His wine glass was empty again and he reached for the bottle to refill it. His hand stroked my bare arm and I tensed again.

"Relax, Louise. You're looking at me like I'm going to eat you..." He sniggered and I realised that he was on his way to the same state of inebriation that my husband was in.

"Mind you, I wouldn't mind going down on you and tasting some of your sweetness..."

I gasped at his words and he mumbled an apology. "Sorry, I can be so fucking crude at times...sorry."

He laughed to himself and then leaned over to me, whispering in my ear, his breath smelling of the rich red wine we'd been drinking. "You know I want to fuck you, don't you Louise? Ever since I met you in that awful little pub...I wanted to take you there and then and fuck your brains out..."

Shocked to the core by his crude words I rose and without saying a word, made my way to the car park, my ears burning after what he'd said and cringing at how he'd made me feel so cheap and tarnished. Leaning against one of the cars, I tried to calm myself but I was breathing rapidly, my whole body shaking, hardly able to believe that it was the same man who could say those things.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to relax. Tomorrow I was determined to pack up our things and leave. The constant yearning to go home was too strong to resist now and if Richard refused to accompany me I would fly home myself and to hell with the consequences.

Thoughts of the last few days filled my head as I stood by the car and I only realised I wasn't alone when I felt a hand brush my cheek.

"Been crying?"

I opened my eyes to see Mike standing there, a look of intense concern on his face. "I don't know what happened but you look terrible."

I nodded and felt a return of the tears. "Why is it that you always come to my rescue?"

Mike smiled and drew me close. "I'm your knight in shining armour, remember?"

I smiled through my tears and felt his mouth descend on mine. I gave in to his kiss which started off slowly and gently and then became more insistent. He held me tightly and I could feel his arousal as we melted into one another. Visions of Lisa appeared and the guilt I was feeling made me pull away, but Mike held onto me.

"I know what you're thinking, Louise. I can tell what's going through your mind, but stop. Lisa and I are like brother and sister. We've been that way for ages, but we just can't put an end to our relationship. She's the sweetest girl in the world but I don't love her."