Staring at the Sun Ch. 11

"Jilly called this morning. She wanted to know how you were."

I felt a stab of surprise. "Really? Why would she do that?"

Lisa shrugged. "I've no idea. She asked after you and then said that she was going to stay with Sophie for the night. I suppose she wanted to make sure you weren't thinking of going back today."

"Who's Sophie?"

Lisa looked at me. "Do you remember the night we went out for a meal? Richard didn't come...she was there then..."

"Ah yes! I remember now! The tall, very elegant woman?"

"That's the one. Otherwise known as Jake's latest squeeze."

"Jake's what?"

Lisa laughed. "Oh, she and Jake have been having an affair. I thought it was common knowledge."

"No, I didn't have a clue..."

Lisa shrugged. "It was bound to happen, I suppose. Sophie is extremely wealthy and very beautiful. Just the sort Jake goes for. And I suppose he gets a certain nasty thrill from knowing that Sophie is one of Jilly's closest friends."

"What about Jilly? Does she know?"

Lisa let out a loud laugh. "You've got to be joking! Of course she doesn't know! She'd kill him if she found out. And her!"

"Well, how can they keep it a secret? Someone's bound to say something to her, surely?"

"Well, when I said it was common knowledge, I meant amongst the men. Diana knows too, but I'm sure Jilly's friends haven't a clue. Too busy shopping and playing tennis to notice. Anyway, who would dare tell her?"

I sat back and thought about Jake and Sophie. They were perfect for each other, that was obvious, but was Jake really prepared to risk all he had for a fling?

"I'm amazed."

Lisa smiled. "Don't be. There's far more goes on down here than you'd realise. All these so-called respectable ex-pats. But soon that won't include me!" She stood up and stretched. "Let's go back, tell our dear guests their cottage is ready and have some lunch. I'm starving!"

*

Lunch was long and relaxed after the frantic preparations of the late morning. The guests had departed with smiles and Lisa and Mike let out a sigh of relief when their car crunched slowly down the dusty track.

After the meal, we sat and dozed in the warmth, the only sound the distant roar of a tractor. "Are you going to the bank this afternoon?" Mike asked lazily of Lisa, but I could feel the tension in his question as he kept his eyes on me.

"Yes, I'd better. Are you coming too, Louise?"

I felt myself blush again as she waited for my answer and shrugged my shoulders. "I still haven't called my father and I really fancy a nap. I've got the beginnings of a headache."

Lisa looked at me and I could see a faint smile hovering about her lips. "Of course. I won't be long, although I may do some shopping if it's not too hot."

I looked down at the table, unable to meet her eyes, knowing that the guilt was evident on my face. The tension hovered around us like a palpable cloud and I started to gather the dirty plates and glasses together.

"Leave them, Louise. I'll clear them away and then I'll be off."

But I refused to let her do the work and followed her into the kitchen, my hands trembling with nerves.

"Be careful, Louise."

I looked at her and she came over and kissed me on the cheek. I saw a strange expression in her eyes and then she glanced away, busying herself with the dishwasher.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me something?"

She turned at my words and I saw the glint of a tear in her eyes. "There's nothing going on, don't worry. I'm just thinking of you and Richard, that's all. Do you miss him?"

"Yes, of course I do. But I miss the children more at the moment. I want to go home."

She nodded and bent to close the door of the dishwasher. "So do I."

*

Back in my room, I unplugged my mobile and dialled my home number. My hands were trembling slightly as I waited for someone to answer and my stomach was a mass of butterflies in case my father's findings brought up something unpalatable.

My mother answered and we chatted about the children who were eagerly awaiting our return. Would they notice the change in their parents?

"Mum, did Dad manage to find anything out about the Harpers? And Mike?"

"Hang on a minute, love, I'll get him for you. Up 'til midnight he was, yesterday, reading all sorts of strange things." She laughed and I heard her pass the phone to my father.

"Louise! How it's going?"

I smiled at the sound of his voice. Even that was reassuring and I waited while he fumbled with some papers.

"What did you find?"

"Well, I had a look, like you said..." My father paused and I held my breath. "The Harpers had a few mentions. Something about an investment business in London? And there was a piece about them in their local paper...an article about businessmen and their lifestyles. Not much there, though, I'm afraid."

"Is that all?"

"His company has a rather posh website, Louise. Lots of spreadsheets about investments and returns. Couldn't make head nor tail of it, myself."

A feeling of frustration rose inside me. "What about Mike?"

"Ah, now there was a bit about him on a wine website – a short piece about how he's trying to make the best wine in the area."

"I know that," I interrupted, my hopes sinking fast. "Is there anything else at all?"

"I searched and searched, sweetheart. But unless I was looking in the wrong places, both the Harpers and Mike seem to be free of incriminating scandal."

"Damn! I really hoped that there'd be something on there."

"I'm sorry, love. Do you want me to try again?"

"No, no Dad, don't worry. Leave it."

"Why did you want to find out anyway?"

I paused. How could I tell him that the Harpers were intent on taking over his business? That all their hard work would be for nothing?

"Oh, Richard is thinking of doing some business for both of them...you know printing brochures, that sort of thing. I just wanted to make sure there was nothing for him to worry about," I lied, hating myself for what I was doing, but determined not to tell him the truth. Not while I was so far away.

"Well, they look fine to me. There was a glowing review about Mike in particular. He seems to know what he's doing. Was it a fair bit of business?"

I cringed at the hopeful note in his voice. "How are things? Busy?"

"Oh, you know," he replied. "We miss Richard being here." He laughed. "I didn't realise he did so much!"

I laughed back, but inside I felt like crying. What if the only option was to enlist the help of the Harpers? But could I bring myself to do that?

*

Outside the weather had changed, the sunny skies of the morning replaced by angry dark clouds and the air was heavy with moisture. I shivered slightly as I made my way outside to collect some washing that was drying. Lisa caught me on my return to the house, an envelope and the car keys in her hand.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? I know a great place that does real English tea and cakes!"

I shook my head, my stomach twisting with nerves. "No, I'm going to have a nap and start to pack. Shall I do anything with dinner?"

"No, don't worry, Louise. It's all taken care of. Just relax."

She kissed me on the cheek again and I managed a smile. "I will, thanks."

With a last look at me, she left, the car crunching on the gravel as she reversed and drove away. The silence was complete and I turned to look out over the vineyards, the approaching clouds hanging heavy over the landscape. The countryside seemed to be waiting for the onslaught of the rain and I heard a distant growl of thunder, the noise making me suddenly apprehensive.

How did one go about committing adultery? But then, hadn't I done that already? This was just the natural continuation of an attraction that neither of us could deny. I thought back to the morning, how I felt when Mike's naked body was so close to mine, his smell and the look of sheer desire on his face.

I sank into one of the patio chairs, feeling suddenly weary and lost. Deep inside I knew I should have gone to Avignon with Louise and then tomorrow make my excuses and leave for the Harpers farmhouse. Common sense should have prevailed, but here I was, waiting for my lover to appear so we could both indulge in illicit sex, all thoughts of my husband and family driven from my mind.

Mike's footsteps made me jump. With a clink of glasses he placed a bottle of red wine in front of me on the table and smiled. "I wondered whether you'd change your mind."

I looked up at him. "There's still time, Mike."

He looked serious as he uncorked the bottle, nodding over to the horizon. "We're in for a big storm."

I noticed he'd ignored my statement and I took the glass he held out to me. "I feel so guilty."

"Do you? How about Richard? Has he ever had an affair?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I've no idea. If he has, he's kept it quiet."

Mike sat opposite me and took a sip of his wine. "This is good. What do you think?"

I swallowed a mouthful and smiled. "You make great wine, Mike."

"I could make better..."

We sat and stared at each other, the tension between us palpable. I searched his face, but he was giving nothing away, his gaze inscrutable.

"Louise..."

I waited for him to continue, my eyes locked on his. Another growl of thunder rumbled in the distance and the sound broke the spell. Pushing back his chair he rose and knelt between my legs.

"I don't know what the future will bring, but let's just enjoy the here and now, OK? Push away those feelings of guilt and concentrate on yourself..." He took my hands and rubbed them gently. "I know you need this, and I need it too. Lisa, well..." he trailed off but I understood what he was trying to say.

"Shush," I placed my fingers on his lips and he smiled. Grabbing my hands he kissed my palms and I shivered.

"I want you, Louise. I've wanted you ever since I first saw you."

My insides twisted at his words and I trembled. "I've never done this before."

He smiled. "Neither have I." He held out his hand. "Come on, let's go inside."

He pulled me to my feet and taking the wine, led me into the depths of the house, which was dark now that the sun had disappeared. But instead of leading me up the stairs as I had imagined, he made his way into the living room, setting the bottle down on the mantelpiece.

"What's wrong with my bed?" I teased as he turned to face me. "Let's go upstairs."

"No, no...we can be comfortable here..." He kissed me, his hands roaming over my body and making me tingle.

His lips silenced any protests I had, but I felt strange doing this in the main room of the house. What would happen if Lisa came back unexpectedly, or the new occupants of the cottage needed something? At least my bedroom door had a lock.

"Mike..." I pulled away. "I'd really feel better if we went to my room."

"Oh, Louise...isn't this more of a turn-on here? We've got the sofa, the floor, anywhere you like..."

But I felt exposed and vulnerable. The last thing I wanted was someone to walk in and see us. "Please, Mike. I just imagined us in my bed."

He stopped and looked at me. "I want you here, Louise. I've fantasised about making love to you on that sofa." He pointed to the furniture. "When you're gone I want to lie there and remember you in my arms."

He kissed me again, more forcefully this time and I melted into his arms. Pressing my body close to his, I moaned a little at the feel of his erection straining through his shorts, but I still felt uncomfortable being here. I knew I wouldn't be able to relax fully with the fear that someone could walk in on us.

"What about Pierre?"

Mike stopped and frowned. "What about Pierre?"

"He might come around to see you."

"Oh, for God's sake, Louise! No-one is going to catch us. Relax!"

But I couldn't. His fingers started to unbutton my shirt and I tensed at being so exposed and naked. I had visions of Lisa arriving home earlier than expected and witnessing her boyfriend screwing her guest.

"Stop, Mike...I can't do this here. I'm sorry."

He stared at me, his face flushed with annoyance. Surely if he cared for me, he would relent and take my up to my bedroom?

"This is ridiculous, Louise...do you know that?" He ran his fingers through his hair and held me away from him. "No-one, I repeat, no-one is going to come and catch us. Is this just an excuse?"

"No, I just don't feel comfortable here, that's all. Can't you understand that?"

"No, quite frankly, I can't. This morning you were gagging for sex. Now, you're like a fucking ice-queen, giving me stupid excuses." He turned away from me and went over to the mantelpiece, his face dark and angry.

I gasped at his words and felt the tears start to gather in my eyes. This wasn't how I expected it to be at all. What had I done wrong?

"Mike, I'm sorry. I just thought we'd go to bed, that's all. I'm just terrified that Lisa or your guests will see us."

He strode over to me and took me by the shoulders. "They won't fucking well see us! How many more times do I have to say that?"

I gazed at him in fear, his face contorted with fury. The tender caring Mike had gone completely and I shrank back from him, my heart hammering in my chest. Outside an enormous clap of thunder made me jump and Mike gripped me tighter.

"I'm going to have sex with you now, whether you want it or not," he ground out. "All this time you've led me on and when it comes to it, you say you feel "uncomfortable?"

He grabbed me and kissed me hard on the lips, his tongue forcing my mouth open and bruising the soft skin. "No," I cried out, trying desperately to free myself from his grip. "Mike, please!"

But he wouldn't listen and pushed me down onto the edge of the sofa, his knees roughly parting my legs while his hands almost ripped my blouse open. "Come on, Louise...you know you want this as much as I do...admit it. Is this part of the game for you?"

"No..." I moaned. "I didn't want it to be like this...why are you so mad with me?"

He stopped briefly and looked at me, his eyes wide. "I thought you were bored with your life? With your husband? I thought you were looking for a bit of excitement? Isn't that why you came here?"

"I came because Lisa asked me. You know that."

"Oh yes, my lovely Lisa. You don't know as much about her as you think you do."

He still held me tightly and the awful realisation swept over me that I'd been manipulated and brought here for reasons I couldn't begin to comprehend. "What do you mean?"

Mike laughed and ran his finger down my cheek. "This is just a game, Louise. And you're the main player, didn't you know that?"

I stared at him in confusion. The man who I had trusted completely was now mocking me, his face devious. He leant down and kissed me again. "I'm sorry for that. Shall we try again?"

His hands were rubbing my nipples through my lacy bra, exposed now where he had pulled my shirt apart, but I was filled with revulsion. This was a man I didn't recognise at all and any desire for him had disappeared. "No...I want to go to my room, Mike. I think it's best if we stay apart for a while."

"Louise..."he whispered. "Let's just forget what I said, OK...I had one too many glasses at lunchtime. Come on, I want to fuck you...can't you see that?"

I looked down at the bulge in his shorts but couldn't bring myself to surrender to him now. We'd gone past that and I just wanted to put myself as far away from him as I could. I pushed him away and was rewarded with another black look.

"What's the matter? I said I'm sorry..."

I stood up and pulled my shirt over my chest. "I can't do this, Mike. It doesn't feel right. This morning was wonderful...how can you be so different?"

"I'm not. It's you who's changed, Louise. Making a fuss over doing it here. What's the difference?"

"I told you. I didn't feel comfortable. And now, if you'll excuse me..."

I made to go but he rose to his feet and grabbed me by the arm again. "Not so fast, Louise. You wanted this, you led me on...how can you expect to just walk away without a thought for me?"

I stared at him. "This doesn't feel right, Mike. I'm not being forced into having sex with you."

He pulled me closer again and held me tight. "I need this. I need you."

"No! Let me go, Mike. Everything's ruined between us now. I just want to be alone."

I struggled to break free from his arms but he wouldn't let go. Starting to panic as he tried to kiss me again, I twisted and turned but his arms were too strong. "Mike...please...stop this now, you're frightening me."

But he ignored my pleas and I felt his hand tugging at the waistband of my skirt, his breath hot in my ear as I squirmed to get away.

"Give in to me, Louise. Come on, stop playing now..."

But I wasn't playing, I was genuinely frightened and I realised that I hardly knew this man at all. From being worried that someone would walk in and catch us, I now positively welcomed it. I tried to remain calm and stopped struggling, moaning a little as Mike continued to kiss my ear, his hands lifting up my skirt to reveal my panties.

"So warm, you feel delicious," he groaned as his fingers sought out my wetness. Trying not to recoil from his touch, I relaxed slightly and watched as he sank to his knees, his breath warm on my skin. "Oh you want this, don't you?" he asked as he stroked my mound through the material of my knickers. "You're so wet, Louise."

I was just waiting for him to let down his guard and when he bent to kiss my pussy, I brought my knee up hard and caught him on the chin. He fell back against the hard stone floor and let out a yelp pf shocked pain. But I was already out of the door, pulling my skirt back down and determined to run as fast as I could to get away from him. Not having the time to find my car-keys I ran out of the house and along the rutted track that led to the guest cottage. The rain was cascading down and loud rumbles of thunder echoed all around me, but I ignored the weather and carried on. I was praying that the guests would be there, the storm preventing them from going out and exploring.

Behind me I could hear Mike shouting as he tried to catch up with me, but with a burst of speed, I reached the small courtyard and banged on the cottage door. Their car was still parked in front of the house and I looked back to see Mike hesitate at the end of the track. He looked furious and as we stood and stared at each other, I thought back to our first meeting, how he'd been so understanding, how I'd trusted him so much. But it was clear now that he'd been set up by Jake to seduce me for some reason, and that our attraction was nothing but an illusion.

Stifling my sobs, I turned as the cottage door opened and smiled weakly at the woman who appeared.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but can I use your phone?"

Her look of shock prevented her from saying anything and she stood aside to let me in. I was soaking wet, my hair plastered to my face and my dripping clothes clung to my body. The woman's husband had come into the small entrance hall to see what was going on and his eyes widened when he saw me.

"I just need to use your phone. I'm staying with the people in the main house and I was caught out in the storm..."

The woman nodded and I followed her into the kitchen where a mobile phone rested on the worktop.

"There's no phone here, but you can use ours."

I picked up the mobile but suddenly realised I didn't know Lisa's number. All my contacts were stored on my own phone and I stared at the keys stupidly, desperately trying to remember the correct sequence.

Feelings of panic began to overwhelm me as I stood there, the couple watching me and sensing something was badly wrong. Finally, the woman took the phone from my hands and looked at me with sympathy. "I'll make a cup of tea, shall I? You look like you could do with one."

*

An hour later, I was sitting on the sofa, the second mug of tea steaming in my hands. Dressed in dry clothes which Sheila, my temporary hostess, had provided, I finally began to relax a little.