Step by Step

Chapter 1

"Mmm. That feels nice," Riley whispered as he pushed hard against her.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I don't want you telling me this was a mistake again tomorrow."

"We just can't go any further, okay?"

Colton Bradley stopped dry humping her and Riley asked, "What's wrong? That felt really good. You don't have to stop."

"Riley? I don't deal well with mixed signals. We're both in our '20s and yet we go through this...this...dance...every night."

"So what are you saying, Colt? You don't want to do anything?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm saying. The real problem is you don't want to listen to yourself and visualize what you're not saying."

Riley sat up and said, "I resent that. I really like you. You're the first guy I've dated since my divorce and I enjoy making out with you. I know what we were doing beyond that is wrong, but sometimes I just..."

"Sometimes you just...what? Finish your sentence this time, Riley."

Riley huffed. "You're exasperating! You know how important the Church is to me. We can't have sex outside of marriage. Period. We can't even pet, so this is as far as we can go. If you don't enjoy it then maybe we should..."

"Should...what? Come on. You know what's going on here. I see it and I admit you. You see it and claim you have no idea. For someone who's been married and divorced twice 
before she's 28, you can sure be clueless."

"I don't like being talked to that way. I think maybe you need to leave. "

Colt picked up his jacket and said, "No, you don't like being talked to like that. You don't like being talked to that way because you like men who won't tell you the truth. You seek out men who are gutless. You want someone you can control. You want everything on your terms but that's where you run into trouble because you can't ever have what you really want on your terms. You can only get a shallow, hollowed-out, low-rent version of it that way."

Riley stood up and pointed her finger at Colt. "I will not be spoken to like that in my own home!"

Bradley walked over to her, stood inches from her face and said, "Right. Because if I finish saying what needs to be said, you'll have to deal with the fact that you're a hypocrite of the highest order. You want to live this sweet, quaint, perfect life in public but deep down you're a boiling cauldron of unfulfilled needs and desires. You want me as much as I want you, but you use the Church and your so-called values to push real men like me away. And that's what causes you to pick shrinking violets like Mike and Tommy then throw them away after a couple of years when you realize they're not enough. And here's the real kicker, Riley. It's gonna take a real man to put up with your shit and willingly give you what you really want. The other thing you can't see is that I'd gladly let you have it all if you'd make some changes for me so we could both get what we want. But your pride and your phony veneer—this...social mask you wear...keeps you locked in this prison of your own device. So you'll move on until you find another weak man to marry you and then once you've gotten it of your system—legally—via marriage—you'll divorce him and start the whole sick, twisted process over again!"

Riley was trembling with rage. "You don't know anything about me! You don't know who I am or what I want. You think you're so smart and that you know more than anyone else. Well, you don't! I know exactly what I want! And I don't need you or any other man to tell me what it is or how to get it! Now get OUT!"

Colt turned and said, "That's where you're wrong. While you do know exactly what you want, you DO need me to get it because no other man would bring home the very thing his loving wife most wants and needs without complaint because he knows that's exactly what it takes to make her life complete. And if you weren't so...so goddamned self-righteous, you'd admit it and drop this bullshit facade you play with the Church and your mom and..."

Riley's anger spilled over into pure frustration. Tears of rage fell as she screwed up her face and said, "I HATE you! You get the HELL out of my house and leave me alone!" She turned on her heels and headed for the safety of her bedroom where she would spend another night by herself crying. All alone—again. The weight of the sadness would once again crush her. But her pride would not allow her to give in. There was no way she was going to let Colton Bradley know he was right because doing so would cause the facade to fall, opening new wounds almost as painful as the kind she now willingly bore.

"I feel sorry for you, Riley. I'm the one guy whose understands you and who'll give you everything you need, but you're too damn stubborn to admit it. So in six months you'll be engaged to some other pantywaist and two years later wonder why the hell your third marriage didn't work, either," Colt said as he closed the door behind himself and walked out.

On his way home, Colt tried to shake the whole thing off, but he knew that wouldn't happen that quickly. He needed to process what was going on and see if maybe he really had made a mistake. Something told him he was spot on, but he tended to avoid conclusions based on emotion or gut feelings. Logically, he was convinced he had this right.

Riley Peterson was very attractive. A little too thin for some but if that didn't bother a guy, she was a babe in all other respects. Okay, maybe her boobs were a little on the small side, too, but her face was downright beautiful and her eyes were...what? Captivating. They were a deep, warm brown and so...alive. Her lips were soft and full and her smile was amazing. Her coffee-brown hair was silky and shiny and frankly, looked like something out a commercial for a top-of-the-line shampoo. And the way she dressed, even for a modest Mormon girl, slayed him.

Bradley was quite sure she would be hot in bed. He couldn't get her to talk about sex directly, but from the hints she gave, he knew she enjoyed it—a lot. Hell, she'd been married to two younger guys for two years each in a six-year period. The first was Mike Cummings who was just 18 and right out of high school when Riley married him. She'd just finished college and was working as an RN. Mike was good looking, well built, and very quiet. Just the kind of guy Riley could have her way with then discard when she needed someone new. After a short break waiting for her uncontested divorce to finalize, she met Tommy Ziegler, who was nearly a clone of Mike. Riley loved to dress her boy toys up in sweater vests and corduroy pants with wing-tip shoes and braces and monogrammed button-down shirts with cuff links. Being just 20 years old, he was all too willing to do anything he could to make his very pretty, older wife happy. But that was the problem. Riley could never be happy with any guy she could control and making matters worse was her need to stay within the gene pool of the Mormon Church.

Her daddy, as she called him, wasn't a Latter-day Saint. It was her mom who'd raised her in the Church in Roanoke, Virginia, along with her two sisters, Gloria and Marlis. All three of the Peterson girls were very cute and all three had married young and divorced. Riley was just a step ahead of her younger sisters in terms of the body count.

The problem for Riley was that membership in the Church presented her with a dilemma she couldn't solve. On the one hand, she really, really liked sex but she couldn't settle for just one man for life. Enter her love affair with serial monogamy. On the other hand, she couldn't have sex except with a man who was her husband and her husband had to be a Mormon. Then there was another issue which factored into the equation of craziness. Riley only dated guys who were younger than herself. And a lot younger where possible. Colt knew this because he personally knew two guys in their mid-thirties who'd asked her out. Both had been turned down. One was a very good-looking, successful attorney whose wife had died from breast cancer. The other was a real-estate agent who been divorced for several years. Both had money, looks, and a real love for the Mormon faith. They would have ideal for a woman like Riley—unless there were deeper motives in play. Colt was sure there were.

Then there was his own experience with Riley. He was just 21 himself and recently returned from a two-year Mormon mission to Moscow, Russia, when she'd asked him to take her to a church function during the Christmas holiday. While on his mission, he'd begun having doubts about the Church and even whether or not there was a God. His parents weren't LDS so he had no family support structure to reinforce his flagging faith. He was reasonably certain Riley's faith was also very shallow underneath the thin veneer she claimed as miles deep, but she'd never admit that. Maintaining that faith in front of her mother and other friends in their social circle was important not so much because she really believed it, but because it was...expected. It was...comfortable. Besides, disappointing her mother was something Riley couldn't even contemplate. So she repressed her deepest needs and flailed around chasing after them the only way she could. Through a series of legal marriages with cute, younger men.

Colt was young, but he was very good at assessing people. Each day he spent with Riley, the more certain he became as to who she really was and what she really wanted. And the truly frustrating thing was that the very same thing was happening with himself. He was slowly peeling back the proverbial onion and each new layer confirmed what he felt. He didn't believe all this "modern-day prophet/God was once a man-man can become God/Book of Mormon" nonsense. The Book of Mormon had over twenty chapters of one book directly stolen from the Bible! They were even "translated" by Joseph Smith in the King James version of English spoken in 1611! They were lifted word for word from the Book of Isaiah in the Bible but no one cared. The Mormon temple ceremony was stolen directly from the Masons by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young who were both...wait for it...master Masons! The whole thing was such a crock of...shit.

Riley was six years older than him but he had a far better grasp on reality in general, and on her needs in specific, than she did. He was now sure that what Riley needed but refused to admit, was the love of a man who understood her needs and would make it possible for her to be happy and fulfilled and stay married to one man. As long as they lived far enough from Roanoke to hide her new life from the prying eyes of her aging, invalid mother, she could live the life she wanted but keep up the front of being a good Mormon girl. Riley's mom was too frail to travel so all she'd need do is be um...creative...when they talked on the phone or via Skype.

The one remaining question for Colt to answer was this: was Riley Peterson worth all of the work and pain he'd have to put up with to get her to see who see really was? When they were able to avoid 'the topic' things were actually great between them. Colt had only one year of college before his mission, but he was surprisingly very well read and well spoken. According to other girls—and a lot of them—he was a very good-looking guy. But then, Riley only pursued younger, attractive guys so...

The problem for her this time was that Colton Bradley wasn't a pushover. He was kind and polite to a fault, but he never backed down from anyone or anything. Still, he had to admit the challenge Riley presented was formidable and should he choose to tackle it, both of them were going to come out and bruised and bloodied on the other end, but only one would be left standing with their old belief system still in place. If he did this, he resolved it would be him. He would tame the Shrew or at least force her to admit he was right. Either way, he was at a crossroads with her and with Mormonism. If he could break Riley, he felt confident they could be very happy together. But either way, Mormonism had to go.

Chapter 2

"Dad? Did you already take care of these invoices?"

"Not yet, Colt. You go ahead and run 'em. You're gettin' pretty good at damn near everything around here and it feels good knowin' I can trust you with the business."

That was high praise coming from Bart Bradley. He was a taskmaster and as tough as they come but he was no hypocrite. He held himself to the same standard he demanded of his employees and that included his only son, Colton.

"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot," Colt said sincerely.

"Don't thank me. You earned the praise. I don't give it out for free. Listen, I wanna talk to you about something after supper tonight. You gonna be home or out with that new filly of yours?"

Colt forced himself not to laugh at his dad's colloquialisms. He didn't finish high school let alone go to college, but he'd still managed to start a local car company which turned into two then three which became a major franchise with three dealerships in Virginia and two more in North Carolina. His father spoke like a hillbilly but ran his business like a graduate of Harvard Business College.

"Okay, sure. I'll be home. Not sure if I'll be seeing Riley again anyway," he told his dad.

"You two have a spat?"

"You could say that, Dad. From my perspective, she's living a lie but too proud to admit it."

Bart stood there then said, "How's that any different than you and that church of yours?" He didn't wait for an answer. He said his piece and walked away.

Bart Bradley didn't mince words or pull punches. He'd thought Mormonism was a "bunch of hooey" since his son first came home and told him he was getting baptized. Bart wasn't a religious man but he was honest to a fault. He had no beef with folks who attended church, he just didn't see the need for it. He couldn't reconcile the evil and suffering in the world with almighty God who could stop it but who chose not to. Colt had let himself buy into the notion that because God gives man free will, he chooses evil and God let's it happen. He doesn't cause it, He just lets people do their thing and evil and suffering are the consequences. Besides, His ways are higher than our ways and we can't know everything in this life. And lastly, He loves us so much he gives us a living prophet to guide us in these latter days. Case closed. Game, set, and match for the LDS church. Or was it? Lately, Colt found himself secretly wondering if maybe his gruff old dad didn't understand a whole lot more than he did.

After dinner, his dad poured himself his nightly shot of single malt and said, "Let's sit down here and talk. You and me."

Colt sat down in the large study and his dad sat down beside him. "You remember Jeff Taylor?"

"Sure. He's your GM down in Charlotte. Why? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. In fact, he's so okay he thinks we're ready to open another dealership in the city in another year or two."

"That's great, Dad. But what does that have to do with me?"

"A whole lot. Colt, I want you to go to Charlotte and work for Jeff as the assistant GM. Most guys know either sales or service. Jeff knows it all. Logistics, inventory, the whole shootin' match. He's as good as God makes 'em. Speakin' of God, I'm sure they got plenty of your churches in a big city like that. You spend a year or two shadowing Jeff, learning all sides of the business and the dealership'll be yours when you're ready. So are you in?"

"Geez, Dad. Are you sure I'm ready for that? I've only been back a year or so and..."

"Hey. I don't need book learnin' to know people. I see things other folks don't. You got potential, son. You learn fast and you work hard. You don't need any more college. You need experience. And lemme tell you, if you weren't ready, there ain't no way in hell I'd let you out of my sight. But you are so if you want this, it's yours. If not, you can stay here and try and work your way up to managing the service department and then we'll see. But I'm not offerin' you the deal twice."

"Then I'm in. When do I start?"

The plan was for Colt to spent the first year working as the AGM for service. It was his best area so after just eight months, Jeff Taylor moved him over to sales to learn the ropes there. Sales looked easy, but it was a bitch. There were so many moving parts—no pun intended. There was the company and its ever-increasing demands for volume, the sales staff, inventory, the finicky public, payroll, and the reality of the economy's ups and downs to deal with. After 18 months on the operational side, Colt knew his stuff inside and out and Jeff told his dad he was ready to take over the dealership while Jeff went to head up the brand new dealership across town.

Colt came in early that first day in the new job. He arrived before anyone else and poured himself a cup of coffee. He took a brief trip down memory lane from the time he met the Kenny Wilson in high school. Kenny's sister, Eileen, was as hot as any girl he'd known except for maybe Riley. He started going to the Mormon Church just to be around her and once she started showing some interest in him, Colt decided to go ahead and get baptized and join the Church. He was crazy about Eileen, but she told him if he was serious about her, he'd do what all good Mormon boys do and go on mission.

His dad was mad as hell but supported his son's decision. The two years in Russia both were fascinating (and cold as hell most of the year) and troubling in that that was the place where the seeds of doubt were first planted about halfway through his two-year stint. They grew in fertile ground over the next two years and came to life that last time he'd seen Riley. He left her home that night and left the Mormon Church that same week. His name was technically still on their roles, but he hadn't darkened the door of a Mormon Church in over two years. He took off his temple garments or what he now called "magic jammies" the next day and never looked back. His dad never mentioned it but Colt could see something his father rarely showed—happiness and relief.

Although he never doubted his decision to give up on Mormonism, he had thought about Riley numerous times, even when he was dating someone else. Not seriously enough to go back and pursue her, though. She remained attached to a former life he wanted no part of and he just wasn't up to the battle royal that would have ensued to try and break her will. Nope. He let that sleeping dog lay and as it turned out, things had gone well for him. He was still single but that was fine. He wasn't even 25 and he was running one of the largest auto dealerships in North Carolina. He dated frequently but just hadn't found the girl he was looking for. Okay, let's say the kind of girl he was looking for. Okay, fine! He'd found her once but she was unaware that she was indeed that kind of girl so what choice did he have? He'd keep looking until he found her because he vowed never to settle for less than the entire package. Riley had the potential to be her, but it came with so many strings attached and was buried so deep inside her under many layers of bullshit wrapped in fantasy, misperceptions, and fairy tales that it just wasn't worth the effort.

Colt's train of thought was interrupted when saw headlights pull into a manager's parking spot. That meant his service manager was in. Time to get this party started.

After a rocky first month under his leadership, sales really took off. They set records two months running after that and satisfaction ratings in service were better than ever. Colt was sharing the good news with his managers one afternoon when he noticed something that caught his eye through the large picture window in his office. "Gentlemen? Will you excuse me? Let's wrap this up for now, okay?" Everyone filed out and Colt sat there staring. He picked up the phone and called the salesman in the cubicle he was looking at.