Storybook

"What better to fuck you with lil man," I kissed him back, but this time we entwined and held each other tight as we made out.

We pulled apart, two smiling fools. He opened the front door.

"I'll see you later, Pete"

"See ya,"

Despite all my misgivings, I really wanted him to stay.

* * * * * * *

Texting every other day with Mikey turned into regular Friday and Saturday night hook ups over the summer. Which over the course of a couple weeks, turned into regular at-home date nights, which meant watching a movie, then having sex before sending him home. Some times the nights would shift, depending on what either of us had going on in our real lives. Some times, it wasn't a movie, but he would bring over a video game system, and thoroughly embarrass me in whatever shoot-em-up had come out that week. Mikey was really passionate about gaming and story telling, and he was excited to be interning at a studio when he went back to school in the fall. His last year of college.

Some times, I wondered if his family knew about me. This older dude, fucking their son. I wondered how old his dad was.

To be honest, Mikey never really talked about his family, other than to just call them "the family" in a nebulous fashion. To be fair, I didn't offer much from my own life.

We would talk politics, and movies and TV. From time to time, he would go on about people from his high school, or college, and all the collective drama going on with friends and acquaintances. It was entertaining to me, and I loved to hear him talk, because it gave me such an insight on how his mind worked. One night though, he called me on it as we lay on the couch, long after the credits rolled on our movie.

"You never really say that much about whats going on with you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"How come? Secret life you don't want me to know about? Are you a spy?"

I chuckled. Mikey turned on his side and nestled his head in the crook of my arm.

"I'm just boring. Seriously!" He looked at me and rolled his eyes. "No really, I push paper all day at a company thats just like every other cubicle farm. I come home, and get ready for the next day,"

"Geez, you're really making yourself sound pathetic there Petey, thank god I came along to fill your evenings... and your butt,"

"Heh. Fill my butt in your dreams perhaps." I kissed his forehead, before pressing my lips against it and making a fart sound with my mouth. "You're an ass, you know that right?"

"Aaaand, some times a dick too!" We cuddled and fell silent. Mikey looked up at me again before speaking. "But like, you've got a job, a great house, you're doing okay for yourself, but wasn't there ever something you wanted to be in life?"

I looked away and thought hard for a minute. I thought about how I got the house. Staring into the ether, I whispered. "Nope. I just wanted to be happy,"

I slid down alongside him, and held him tight. I felt guilty. As my words hung in the air, my shyness demonstrated my feelings and fears. I was happy there with him, but I feared it wasn't right. The age difference, the experience gap. Acknowledging anything though would put moments like this in jeopardy, and I didn't want to let go just yet. There was a slight catch in my throat, and I was grateful that he was the next to speak.

"Can I tell you something serious?"

My eyes searched his, unsure of where things were about to go. "Sure bud,"

He paused before biting his bottom lip and taking a deep breath.

"So, like, earlier this year. Like, after we first hooked up - but before we talked again back in June..." He kept my gaze, but his face tensed, and I could tell he was struggling to continue. "I don't talk about my sister, like at all... I'm two years younger than her, but she was my best friend..." From the past tense, I could tell where this was going. I lifted my hand to touch his face. His eyes became wet.

"I used to get scared a lot when I was a kid, my brain would just invent monsters everywhere. And Lucy, she would make forts with me, and tell me stories about how we would be protected if we stayed in the fort." Tears streamed from Mikey's eyes. "Uhh, so - Lucy was always sick growing up. So she was always home to play with me and build forts and shit - but uh, there wasn't anything they could do when she got older..." His speech became ragged with sobs, and I just grabbed at Mikey to pull him tightly into me. His slender frame heaved as he cried into my chest. I felt my heart break for him as he just dissolved in my arms. I couldn't think of what to say, so I just held him until his emotion subsided and he could speak again. Lifting his head and wiping his eyes, he feigned a smile.

"So uh..." he cleared his throat. "I'm a mess - I'm sorry-"

"Hey, hey - no - you don't have to apologize for anything. I had no idea." I spotted a tear and brushed it from his cheek. "I'm honoured you trusted me enough to tell me. You have nothing to apologize for,"

Mikey sighed and rested his head on my arm, looking into my eyes.

"I like you Pete... I just don't want you to think I'm a broken freak, and I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what we're doing, and I'm scared to —"

I silenced him with a long, soft kiss - holding his head in both hands. I was scared too - scared to talk about an actual relationship between us for starters. There was so much I wanted to say though, things I wanted to tell him but couldn't bring myself to. It didn't feel right to burden him with my shit, while going through his own pain. All I could do was hold him until he stopped crying.

For the first time since we started seeing each other, Mikey stayed overnight. We didn't have sex. We went to sleep with me cradling him, and woke up the other way around.

* * * * * * *

In the weeks that followed that night, I began to feel a lightness. Our weekends became long chunks of time together, nesting, becoming what I guess would be a real couple. Mikey would come over Friday night after he was done work or school, and we'd hang out watching TV and what not. Saturdays we'd go grocery shopping, or drive out to the suburbs and hit up an old school arcade. A home cooked meal, a movie and sex would bleed into Sunday mornings, where we would just linger as long as we could in bed. He'd help me with chores around the house, and we'd have a light dinner before he went back home.

If I were completely honest with myself, I would admit that the stoic responsibility I felt towards Mikey had begun to fade, and I started to feel more on equal footing with him. The age gap seemed way less important as I let go more, and quit being so serious about things. As much as I thought I had to help and guide Mikey, he had actually started to show me things about myself I hadn't realized before. It all seemed to be getting easier, until we got closer to Christmas.

"So, do you decorate around here at all?"

I was digging through my laundry hamper, sorting colours and whites while Mikey stood in the doorway watching. I glimpsed up at him while on the floor.

"You need something washed?" It was Sunday, and I could tell that Mikey was getting a bit antsy. Sometimes, if there wasn't enough for the both of us to do around the house, he'd sneakily try to distract me - though more often than not, that included nudity and a lot of friction.

"Nah, I'm good. But really Pete - do you do the whole tree thing? I was thinking maybe we could go do one of those cut down your own tree things at like a farm or something next weekend." I tried hard not to smile. It was a sweet thought.

"I dunno, I don't have a tree stand or anything - I haven't really done anything around here for the last couple years. Um, maybe? Can I think about it?" I stood up with my basket and headed downstairs, Mikey trailing after. I opened the basement door and elbowed the light switch on my way down.

"Yeah, I just think...It would look so pretty around here. It'd be fun." He hopped up on the dryer while I went about starting the wash. "Aaaand, actually - I noticed something in the mail that looked like a lot of fun..." I eyed him suspiciously.

"Were you snooping again?" My eyebrow darted upwards in mock offence.

"I was sorting stuff for recycling!" His mischievous smile always made his crimes easier to forgive.

"Uh huh, and?"

"You've got a work Christmas party next weekend..."

My own smile tightened as I tried to keep a poker face. I always reluctantly tolerated the office Christmas party because the politics surrounding it made it a mandatory event. You couldn't NOT go that is, unless you wanted to become a social pariah around the cubicle farm. This year, it was moved offsite and onto a Saturday evening, and I had already bandied about what I was going to do. Weekends were my time with Mikey, but I also didn't know how folks at work would react to seeing me with a younger man. I'd been putting off the decision for weeks.

"I've never been to an office Christmas party before,"

I gestured at the dryer with my head. "Scoot," Mikey slunk off the machine so I could unload it.

"I dunno, these things are always horrible and boring, I wasn't even planning on going to be honest." I began to fold towels, putting great focus on my task, and acting as nonchalant about our discussion as possible. I hadn't noticed Mikey wandering the basement behind me.

"Hey, I think I found some Christmas stuff over here in these boxes,"

I spun around quickly and shouted "NO! LEAVE IT!" as my eyes widened and my heart sped up. Mikey was taken aback and looked at me with a stunned look on his face. I'd never raised my voice with him before, and it was a shock to us both. I immediately felt bad, and stumbled over my words to ease out of an uncomfortable situation. "I'm, I'm sorry - I just — thats all a bunch of my parents old crap. Its a mess, I just don't want anyone fucking around with it." Mikey looked hurt, and his mouth hung slightly agape. I could tell there were questions written all over his face, questions I didn't want to deal with right now. So I caved.

"Babe, I'm sorry - c'mere." He cautiously approached. "I'm sorry. I'm just being a dick because I'm stressing about work tomorrow. I'm sorry. Come here." I placed my towel on the washer and opened my arms to his incoming body. His eyes still seemed hesitant as he accepted my embrace.

"I'm being a dick. But please, if you will, consider being my date next week for my office Christmas party."

Mikey's face lit up, a toothy grin spreading across his face.

"Well, is that a yes?"

"Fuck yes!" He kissed me and hugged tighter. "Can we wear matching sweaters?"

"Fuck no!" We laughed before he let me get back to folding laundry. Mikey went upstairs to get a snack, and I stood there in the basement feeling a weird mixture of relief and pride and fear. I guess I had a boyfriend now. Folks were going to meet the man I loved.

Ugh. Oh my god. Did that thought just pass through my head? I loved him?

I guess I did.

He had become so special to me, I... I wanted to share him.

I turned and looked at the pile of boxes in the corner, and felt a bit sad.

You never know how things will turn out.

* * * * * * *

It felt like prom.

I was walking into a banquet hall full of semi-familiar faces, dressed up and sweatily clutching the hand of my date. Unlike my actual prom though, where the insecurity of the evening led to my one and only experience with vagina - I was now a grown up professional with - dare I say it - a boyfriend.

I surveyed the scene in front of us, leaving our coats in check, and spied the traffic around the bar.

"So, is this a standing thing or a sitting thing?" Mikey whispered at me, still clutching my hand. I looked over at him and smiled. I could tell he was excited and nervous, even though he had tried to play it cool all week. He would try to pepper our conversations with questions about my coworkers, or subtly inquire about party dress code without looking too eager. Mikey had even gotten his hair cut, and wore a nice blazer with sweater, shirt and tie underneath. He would have looked downright professorial if it wasn't for that babyface of his.

Mikey smiled back at me, and I shocked myself by giving him a quick peck on the lips. I had always been rather shy about public displays of affection with guys, but for some reason...

"Peter Gibbons, well look at you - and WHO might I ask is this fine young fellow?" I turned and faced the oncoming herd. It was Gayle, followed by Brenda and Sarah - the resident office matrons. In a matter of seconds, we were surrounded by the trio, with Brenda grabbing onto Mikey's arm as she looked him over with a big grin on her face. They were all nice enough women on their own, but together they were a formidable force in the office. They were gossips, and busy bodies - all married women with grown children, who were no strangers to giving unsolicited advice to younger colleagues like myself. They passive aggressively ran our social committees, making sure no offsite function went unattended, and no group birthday card unsigned. I feared exposing Mikey to them at the party, but at the same time relished the idea that his attendance would get them off my case about finding a "good man".

"How now Peter, why don't you get your fellow a drink while we get to know him better? Brenda piped up while squeezing between the two of us, physically separating us, and pushing their klatch towards a nearby table. The look on Mikey's face was priceless as he was being kidnapped by the mom squad. I moved towards the bar laughing to myself, leaning up against the glass top and motioning for the bartender.

"So that's the mystery man eh?" I turned and saw the warm, friendly face of my pod mate Anaya. I shyly looked away. "So that's Mikey?"

"Michael," I corrected her while grinning and avoiding eye contact.

"He's cute Pete." I shot her a side glance.

"Oh, so you approve then?"

"Peter, if it was up to me, I would have sold you off to half a dozen UPS men by now,"

We laughed, and I ordered drinks. I turned around to watch Mikey at the table, politely listening to the women.

"Like six UPS guys at the same time, or..."

"Hush now."

Anaya was a beautiful girl with dark brown skin, and an incredible mass of curly hair - she was brilliant and often overlooked at work, doing the cubicle thing for rent while plodding through her masters degree in psychology. She kept her head down and stayed in her lane, but was always good for a heart to heart chat. I'd leaned on her quite a bit in recent years, and appreciated her friendship and advice.

"Are you going to save him, or wait until Gayle's picked him clean?"

"Nah, he looks like he's doing okay - and besides, its his own fault for insisting on coming."

Almost as if on cue, Mikey shot a glance my way, holding a pleasant smile. I wasn't entirely sure if he was looking to be rescued, or showing off to me how well he was handling things. The bartender tapped me on the shoulder and handed me our drinks, so Anaya took my arm, and I escorted her over to the table for introductions.

* * * * * * *

I had been pleasantly surprised at how well the evening was going, and it wasn't entirely because of the open bar either. There's something about bringing a date to a work function that breaks a lot of barriers between folks. I'd long seen annoying coworkers humanized by meeting their significant others, getting a glimpse of the person behind the endless reply all's and TPS reports. I had just never been on the other side of the coin though, so it was truly a new experience for me. In all the group chit chat, exchanging glances with one another, I wondered what folks thought of me in Mikey's reflection. All the ladies seemed to adore him, and he had just turned on the charm tonight. I felt proud.

As the night wore on, the music got turned up, and the drinking continued. Everyone was on the dance floor flailing about having a good time, from the young interns sloppily making out with each other, to the older overweight folks trying to dab. A group of us had lumped together, just bobbing around and shaking our collective asses, trying not to spill our drinks when the DJ took the frenzy down a notch, and played a slow song. I felt a nudge from behind, and bumped into Mikey's chest as the dance floor cleared out. His hair had sweatily stuck to his forehead, and he looked so incredibly happy. My hands fell upon his chest, and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist as the music played softly behind us.

There was a moment where my entire body went rigid, and my eyes filled with panic, before I eased into Mikey's firm embrace. I had wanted to move my hands somewhere, to not look so feeble, but I was at odds trying to figure out where. I had such deep care for this man, but was uncomfortable in feeling so helpless. My eyes darted around the dance floor at the other couples, and at the folks who had stepped back to watch. All at once, I felt completely self conscious.

"hey kiddo, what do you say we get another drink?" I pecked Mikey on the cheek and broke his embrace, moving us out of the spotlight. He seemed slightly startled, but accepted my offer.

"Im just gonna hit the bathroom first," With that, he disappeared, and I trudged over to the bar. I had placed my order, and was staring down at the glass top when I felt a presence beside me.

"So Gibbons, you like the teenagers eh?" It was Daryl, one of the meatheads from marketing. His breath smelled of rancid scotch, and I did my best to ignore him. "it's alright man, s'alright. Even for you gays, who doesn't love a young piece of ass," He chuckled at himself, sucking back the last of his drink. "Just make sure to check his ID eh?"

"Fuck you Daryl," I collected my drinks and walked off, leaving him behind, muttering to no one in particular.

"fucking fags,"

* * * * * * *

The rest of the evening slowly fizzled out, and I found myself drifting off in conversations with people. Mikey quietly watched as I tuned out, picking up the slack and engaging my coworkers in idle chit chat as the night wound down. It was in mid sentence that I interrupted him with a suggestion that we call it a night. He resolutely nodded and excused himself to get our coats. Anaya closed in on me and looked me dead in the eyes.

"Pete. That was pretty rude. What's going on?"

I tried to look away, physically standing my ground, but shrinking from Anaya's scrutiny. I knew I was being shitty but I couldn't help it.

"Pete. Don't be an asshole. What happened? I looked back at her pleading eyes, and before I could respond, Brenda swept in between us.

"Oh Peter, I just wanted to tell you that your Michael is just perfectly delightful. It was so good to meet him,"

"Uh, thanks Brenda, I appreciate it - uh - yeah. Um. Thanks." Gayle sidled up alongside Brenda, wearing her faux fur jacket.

"Oh, are you talking about his Michael — a real sweetie my dear. He's so lucky to have you,"

My face felt hot for some reason. Anaya positioned herself in an attempt to extricate us from the group. Brenda gently put her hand on my shoulder, tilting her head and speaking softly.

"You really deserve someone like him after all you've been through,"

I looked up and saw Mikey behind the women, holding our jackets. His face was blank, though slightly fearful. Anaya looked at the both of us before giving me a big bear hug and saying her goodnights. The other ladies followed suit, and Mikey held my jacket open for me. I breathed heavily and softened my voice.

"Ready to go?"

He slipped his arm in his jacket sleeve, holding my gaze.

"Yup."

* * * * * * *

The cab ride on the way home was relatively silent, with nothing but the swishing of the windshield wipers and a light strain of Christmas music from the radio filling the space. The rocking motion of the car on the highway was lulling me into a slumber. Finally, Mikey leaned over and spoke, his hand just barely grazing mine in the space between us.