Struggles of an Everyman

"I feel we've really made some progress today", Connie said as she took her glasses off, setting them on the table.

Nelson sat uncomfortably on the edge of the couch in Connie's office. He refused to lean back against the cushion. This was the third meeting he'd had with his therapist and he still wasn't very comfortable here.

Connie stood from her seat and walked out in front of her desk, leaning on the corner of it. Nelson took note of how carefully she kept her legs together, not allowing him a peek up her skirt.

"You've really opened up this time," she continued. "Especially concerning how you feel about your friend Alice. This is good. It always takes a few appointments before my clients and I can really feel comfortable."

"Uh, thanks."

Alice. Alice was beautiful. Deep crimson red hair, fair skin, and soft features made other women pale in comparison. She had large breasts, but not so that they sagged, and an hourglass figure. He had frequent fantasies about women, which was largely why he was in a therapist's office, but never as frequent or consuming as those of Alice. For the first time in his life, he had decided to tell someone about it and about her. This is where Connie came into the picture. A person who had no connections to his life and was trained to help him with problems. A therapist.

Nelson looked up at Connie. The extra height She gained sitting there forced him to turn his neck up at an awkward angle. Otherwise he would be left staring directly at her chest. He couldn't help but notice how her pinstripe blouse stretched across her large bust. Best not to look for too long.

Connie was a dark skinned beautiful woman of Afro-Jamaican descent. Curves in all the right places and flawless skin.

When Nelson had first come in to see Dr. Dekker, he had ignorantly assumed he would be seeing a male psychiatrist. The sight of a 30-year-old raven-haired beauty had caught him off guard. Her ebony skin was flawlessly wrapped around curvy hips and round shoulders. It was quite a shock, especially considering the reason for his therapy.

"Some doctors don't believe sex addiction is a real thing." She walked up to white board on the wall.

"Is that what you think?" he asked.

"Well...Yes and no. I think these kinds of strong desires are very real. People have a wide variety of sex drives. I believe that some who may be labeled a 'sex addict' have an above average sex drive and less practiced self-control over those desires."

Nelson thought about this for a moment. He'd always had a huge sex drive, but had rarely had the opportunity to use it. In college, he'd had several one-night stands. Not so many girlfriends, however. He couldn't ever seem to make those last. That was part of what bothered him.

"However," Connie continued, "I don't believe it to be detrimental. Sex itself is healthy, and if managed right, can serve to give your life a variety of great experiences. Looking at sex drive as something that needs to be 'cured' is a negative view that can drive people to frustration and depression. You're not a sex addict, Nelson. You just really like sex and you don't get to express that enough."

Connie wrote three words up on the board with a red maker.

"Drive, Desire, Practice." As she spoke each word, she underlined them. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you perceive the strength of your sex drive?"

"Well, probably around an 8 or 9. It's always on my mind. I feel like I have to deliberately distract myself from thinking about sex.

She wrote the number "9" in the drive column.

"You say," she continued, "that you feel a split between how you think your sex life should be and reality. You also say you feel a lot of guilt about sex regarding your conservative upbringing."

"That's right." This was what much of their appointment today had covered.

Connie continued writing, under the word "Practice", the words "Porn usage", "Boring sex", "Infrequent", and "Unrequited love". The last one, brought Alice to mind immediately.

"Your goal up to this point has been to try to banish or purge these emotions and desires. Trying to distance yourself from sex has only made your struggle greater. Instead, I want you to focus on how you can bring your practice of sex in line with your desires." She circled the word on the board.

Nelson thought about this for a moment. She had a strong point. People have sex all the time. Nelson wasn't very religious anymore but it was still hard to shake the guilt he'd associated with it all his life.

"I think it might take some time for me to change how I feel about it," he replied.

"Here's what I want you to do." Connie underlined the word "Desires" a few more times, making it stand out. "Make a list for me of all the fantasies, desires, and sexual inclinations you have on a regular basis."

"What?" he asked, not sure how he felt divulging that information.

"Just start by making a list of what turns you on. Types of women you find attractive, what genre of porn you watch, those kinds of things. I want to talk about how you can express these desires in a healthy way instead of keeping them bottled up inside you. And be completely open about it. There are no wrong answers."

"Okay..." Nelson felt an uncomfortable surge of blood rush to his head. He flushed.

"Look." Connie quieted down a bit, taking a step closer. "I can see that this will be a little uncomfortable, especially because I'm a woman."

Nelson grimaced. She was exactly right. Telling this attractive woman how he got off was a nightmare come to life.

"I really feel that being honest with your sexuality to a woman, like myself, will help you get past your hang-ups. However, if you feel like it'll put you more at ease, I can set you up an appointment with John Hobbs in the office next door."

Nelson thought for a moment. "No. I think it took me long enough to get to where I am with you. I'll make the list for our next appointment."

"Great! I guess that's all for today. I'll see you next week."

Nelson stood and walked toward the door. His next task was daunting, but doable. It might be hard to not indulge a bit while compiling his list. Best not to think too much about it now.

When Nelson got home, he saw Ivy's car parked along the curb, a washed out red Taurus half lit by a street lamp.

Great. He thought. He had been really hoping to kick back and wind down to some B-grade Sci-fi movie. With Phil's girlfriend over they'd have monopolized the TV. He'd likely spend most of his evening holed up in his room on his computer.

Phil was a great roommate and had been Nelson's best friend since Jr. High. Well, apart from Alice. That didn't change the fact that Ivy, Phil's girlfriend of 6 months, was the most infuriating woman he'd ever met.

Nelson was originally extremely jealous of Phil. He'd found Ivy very attractive, until he got to know her. He had also disliked being left dateless while she and Phil went out every weekend. But what really had his blood boiling was her insufferable attitude and obnoxious laugh.

Ivy had this faux-punk attitude that screamed, "I got too much attention from my parents". She lashed out by dying her hair white-blonde and getting a tattoo and belly-button ring. She obviously thought this was enough reason to put on the wounded, sordid-past attitude. But when she laughed, the spoiled brat in her surfaced, undermining her ridiculous, overly-dark eyeliner.

Nelson walked in expecting to find the two of them huddled up on the couch. Instead he found an empty kitchen and living room. No sign of either of them.

I thought I saw both of their cars outside. Maybe they had gone for a walk or something. Regardless of where they were, Nelson lit up at the possibility of having the living room to himself for the night.

Maybe I'll call Alice up and invite her over for a movie. Alice, Phil, and Nelson had been a trio of sorts all through high school. Now Nelson was lucky enough not only to room with Phil, but to work with in the same office as Alice.

He'd always found Alice very attractive. Her chestnut red hair, fair skin, and large breasts practically made him drool. A silly fantasy of her wearing sexy lingerie and fucking him on the couch surfaced in his mind. Nelson shook his head banishing the thought.

Just earlier today he had confessed to his therapist about his fantasies. There were many that featured Alice. She was arguably his best friend and he could never bring himself to ruin that. Yet he'd had countless nights alone in his bed thinking about her. The conflict pulled on him, making him feel like a dirt bag.

He pulled out his phone and dialed her anyway.

"Sup, Nels?" Alice's perky voice sang to him.

"Hey Al, you up for watching a movie tonight? I was thinking The Thing or maybe Big Trouble in Little China."

"Got John Carpenter on the mind, huh?" he could hear her smile over the line.

"You know me," he replied. And she did. The two of them held almost no secrets from each other. Almost.

"Why not, It's Friday and I got no plans. We'll decide which one when I get there. See you in about an hour?"

"Sweet, see you then."

Nelson hung up. His limbs relaxed a bit. Alice's voice was always disarming, somehow. She was one of the few people who could put him at ease. Lost in his thoughts, Nelson sat on the couch in the living room.

Suddenly he heard a yelp.

What the hell is that? He thought to himself.

The noise had come from the directions of Phil's room. A part of Nelson already knew who had made it. Despite this, he cautiously walked down the hallway and up to the door. As he approached, he could hear "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones playing. Aftermath was one of Phil's favorite albums.

Nelson leaned up, putting his ear to the door. He could hear voices on the other side.

"Oh yeah, baby," a feminine voice called. Ivy's voice.

His suspicions confirmed, Nelson felt a rush of blood as he considered the implications. He should just walk back to the couch and put a show on, so he couldn't hear Phil and Ivy going at it. Just pretend he hadn't noticed. It would be way too inappropriate to listen at the door.

Nelson found himself not walking back to the couch. I shouldn't do this. He thought. I should go back out front.

Instead he leaned down toward the door. The old condo they lived in used to have big deadbolts on each of the doors, but they had been removed and never replaced years ago. Where the lock should have been, there was a one-and-a-half-inch hole. Nelson peered inside his heart thumping.

On Phil's bead, Ivy knelt with her legs spread apart. She was completely nude, facing away from the room's entrance. Phil's legs stuck out from under her. Nelson couldn't see Phil's dick, but the way Ivy was grinding back and forth, he could tell it was inside her.

Ivy whimpered as she sat atop Phil, slowly moving her hips back and forth. Her breath was strained. The sound made Nelson's cock harden.

I shouldn't watch. Nelson's internal struggle continued.

Ivy was a thin, tiny thing with sharp features and bony-looking joints. She was only 5'2" and couldn't have weighed more than 90 lbs. smooth tan skin, and clear complexion. Her white-blonde hair, in a short asymmetrical bob, swung back and forth as she continued rubbing herself wildly on Phil's lap. Her tattoo was partially visible, a diamondback snake slithering up her back, along the right side of her neck, across her shoulder blade, and down her arm. He could see the tail of the serpent pointing down her all the way to her ass. The image split her in half.

"Oooh, uuhhn. Yeah, grab my tits," Ivy said coarsely. God, how Nelson hated the way she talked. Phil's hands rose on command.

Nelson's cock was fully hardened, itching to get out of his jeans. He undid his pants as quietly as he could and reached his hand into his boxer briefs. He grasped his cock and began slowly rubbing his shaft. He knew this was a bad idea, but couldn't help himself.

"Ohh. Ohh. Ohhh." Ivy reached toward climax as she rode Phil ever faster. Nelson could hear a soft slurping sound between her moans, wet and messy. He imagined the warm fluid on his skin.

Ivy leaned back, bracing herself with her hands on the bed. Phil groaned as his cock bent downward. Ivy moved her hips up and down, her chest pointed toward the ceiling. Her small tits had just enough weight to pull to the sides with each bounce.

Nelson felt a wet spot forming where his cock pushed against the inside of his underwear. The sight of Ivy and the pained expression on her face made him ooze.

"Ooooohhhhh!!" Ivy moaned. She was on the brink of collapse, orgasm about to bubble out of her. She threw herself forward again pressing her head against Phil's chest. The position gave Nelson a perfect view of Phil's cock plunged up into her pussy, fluid running down his scrotum. The fire within Nelson reached ever higher, the scene in front of him stoking the flames.

Ivy's pace increased as she slammed her tender pussy forward again and again. Her lower back arched with each thrust as if trying to get Phil's cock further inside.

She suddenly released a high-pitched scream, but it was cut off as her throat tightened, closing her air supply. Every muscle in her body clenched. The image of her lower back arched, ass held firm, burned itself into Nelson's memory. Nelson almost came right then as he witnessed Ivy's orgasm.

Deep breaths. He thought trying to hold back the coming flood.

After an eternity air returned to Ivy's lungs. She let out a grunt. "Uhhh!" She struggled to catch her breath, bringing her hand to her forehead to wipe away sweat.

"Turn over!" Phil, who still hadn't cum, sounded impatient.

Ivy got off him and got on her hands and knees, facing right, perpendicular to the door. Nelson could see a full side view of Ivy, small breasts hanging downward. He could see the glint of her navel-ring sparkling in the dim light. Her shoulder tattoo, now fully visible, was a violent depiction of the snake, head down at her forearm. The jaw was unhinged, fangs out.

Phillip positioned himself behind her and slowly pushed his cock inside her pussy.

"Ohh." He moaned.

"Yeah. Oh yeah, baby. You feel so big inside me." Ivy's words sounded rehearsed. They were clearly for Phil's benefit.

Phil continued groaning as he penetrated Ivy faster and faster.

"Yeah, baby. Yeah, I want you to cum. Oh yeah."

Nelson stroked his cock faster, matching Phil's rhythm. The slap of skin sounded out like drums. The beat of a karaoke machine, calling for him to join along.

Ivy turned her head to look at Phil. On the way, her eyes glanced at the door. She stopped talking and did a double take, gaze pointed directly at Nelson.

Shit! Nelson froze. The bitch had seen him. He'd been found out.

There was a long, stunned expression that came across her face as she stared straight into Nelson's eyes. Into his soul. Sharp facial features exaggerated the effect. Her hair still swung back and forth as Phil pounded against her.

After a pause, she continued talking, bright blue eyes still fixed on Nelson.

"Yeah, baby." She said, not turning her head. "Yeah, I want you to cum for me." Her words were softer, more pointed. She was talking to Nelson.

Holy crap! She wants me to watch. She had seen him and was choosing to let him...no, encouraging him to keep staring.

She continued to look at Nelson, teasing him to cum right there in the hallway. Phil, oblivious to the interaction, thought she spoke to him. Nelson knew better.

Nelson resumed stroking, Ivy's words getting him hotter and harder.

"I want your cum." Her eyes half closed and her tongue hung from her mouth as if tasting the air. It was like she became the snake on her back. Venomous. Deadly.

Neither Nelson nor Phil could take much more. Phil pulled his cock out of Ivy's wet cunt and stroked violently, pointing it just over her ass.

"I want it," she said licking her lips, tempting Nelson.

Phil's hot cum shot out with force. The first landed in the center of Ivy's lower back, hot and white. The rest globbed on her right butt cheek, a stark contrast against her tan skin.

Nelson couldn't hold back, his own cock spasmed in his hand as he reached past the threshold. Thick cum sprang out of him, foiled from escaping by his own undergarment. A steaming wet sensation ran down his fingers as his hand jerked violently. He held back a grunt so as not to be heard.

Ivy smiled at Nelson. She somehow knew that he had cum as well. She puckered her lips in a kissy-face and winked at him.

Nelson stepped back, suddenly realizing that he was now standing in the middle of the hallway with his pants around his ankles. His hand, still wrapped tightly around his cock, was fixed in place. He dared not take it out, lest he drip his load on the floor. Awkwardly, he shambled to his room, closed and locked the door.

He hurriedly cleaned his hand off with some tissues, changed his underwear, and put his pants back on.

Would she tell Phil that Nelson had been watching them? How would he react to that?

Regardless of the outcome, he figured it was best not to be found in his own room, right next door to Phil's. he peeked out into the living room. Empty.

Rushing to the couch, Nelson quickly put a movie on and skipped 30 minutes in, to make it look like he had been watching.

A few minutes later, Phil and Ivy emerged from the back of the condo. Phil sported a casual button up and jeans. It was his usual attire. Ivy wore a tight shirt and black pants with holes in the knees. Her makeup was smeared a little from her romp with Phil. Add a flannel shirt and she would look like a Seattle grunge band groupie.

"Oh, Nelson." Phil said a little awkwardly. "I didn't know you were home."

So, she didn't tell him.

"Yeah, I was a little wiped when I got in so I plopped down to watch something to wind down." The lie seemed believable enough.

"'American History X'? Shit. How stressful was your day that you wanna wind down with this?"

Nelson had thought he put on "American Pie."

"Um. Needed a reality check, I guess." Nelson smiled stupidly.

"Well, whatever. Ivy and I were going to go out for some drinks? Interested?"

Nelson glanced at Ivy who wore a wicked smile on her face. He wanted to slap the obnoxious expression off her. "Uh, no thanks. Alice is coming over in a bit, we were going to watch something.

"Oh, please." Ivy chimed in. "Don't be a lame-ass. Bring Alice along too."

Her expression grew a little darker and she turned her head, facing Nelson directly. A moment of enlightenment crossed her eyes.

"You know you wanna come." Her last word was punctuated with hidden meaning. This did not bode well.

"Uh. . ." Nelson stammered. "No. I, uh, promised her some Sci-fi and popcorn. I just want to lay low tonight, you know?"

"Alright, man." Phil continued, unaware of the subtext. "Your loss."

As they opened the door, Alice was standing just outside, hand raised as if about to knock. She looked surprised.

"Oh, hey guys!" she blurted out. "I was literally just about to knock."

The three of them chatted there for a minute. Nelson didn't join them. The farther he could be from Ivy right now, the better. Soon enough, they left and Alice strolled over.

"Hey, how's it going?" She asked, a broad smile on her face. Her red hair hung down to her shoulders and she wore a varsity cut Seahawks shirt, tight enough to show the full girth of her breasts. They had to be Ds, as far as Nelson could tell.

"Today's been a hell of a day."

"Oh, yeah?" she asked, eager for some gossip. "Tell me more."