Stuck

So, my 30th wedding anniversary is just around the corner. For the majority of that time I thought I had a pretty good life, wife and family. About 5 years ago I found out my second child wasn't mine biologically. Seems my "loving wife" strayed.

At the time I was in the service, U.S. Army, stationed in Hawaii at Schofield Barracks. I was scheduled for a deployment and my wife was afraid to be alone so far from home during that time. It was a stretch but I came up with the cash to send her home to mom with our daughter. I was only going to be gone 2 weeks. The only way we could swing it was for her to be home 6 weeks. She left the Wednesday of the last week of September and came back to me Thursday of the second week of November.

We both came from the same area of the state. Our families knew each other. I was 27 when we were married, she was 19. 4 years earlier I was seriously dating another girl. Had the rings in my sock drawer, just waiting till I got home from Korea to ask her. She died while I was on a field problem in a car/train accident back home. My CO and 1SGT made the command decision not to tell me till the end of the field exercise. Withheld my mail too. It crushed me. I was a fucked up mess till I met Debbie.

Anyhow, the night before I was deploying off island I get a call from my sister-in-law. She was drunk, giggling, told me Deb was having "a good time" with someone she picked up in the bar that night. She and Deb's brother had the phone on speaker and we're having a good laugh at my expense. They supposedly took the phone down the hall by the bedroom Deb was in so I could hear "the good time". To say my mind wasn't on my job the next 2 weeks is an understatement.

Told top what was going on, got my ass chewed and got told he'd help me deal with the shit once we got back. Once back I went to JAG, got referred to a family practice JAG officer, got a to do list. I went home, the answering machine had filled in the first 2 days I was gone. I listened to some of the messages, from Deb, her brother John, his bitch wife Amy, Deb's mom, my mom and they all said the same thing. "Don't do something stupid till I talked to them".

So I started making calls. Story from everyone, including my mom, was that it was a "joke". That nothing actually happened except Deb got hammered and passed out and Amy decided to fuck with my head. The noises of the "good time" were a porno John and Amy set up to play for the benefit of the joke. I made the conscious decision to believe that.

Fast forward 25 years or so. My son gets hurt in an accident, needed blood. I'm O pos, Deb is O pos, my daughter is O pos, but my boy is A pos. DNA confirms he's not mine. Huge shit storm in my life.

By this time my "loving wife" is physically disabled. Complications of diabetes, COPD, already had a minor heart attack. She's not long for this world. My first desire is to toss her to the curb, but I'm not the kind of guy to turn my back on a person in need. If she was healthy I'd still toss her out. I'm still pissed. There's times I look at her with a blue fire rage. I tend to her medical needs, I take her to her appointments. She can't look at me without guilt and I barely talk to her. Since I found out I've made damn sure that nearly everyone we know, knows what she did. Damn few people want anything to do with her and not many more want anything to do with me.

I get told a lot that I'm a "good man" for not tossing her out. I don't kick puppies or boil kittens either, bout the same level of good from my view. I am not a saint, don't claim to be one either.

The kicker of this whole thing is that nearly every adult female in my family and Deb's knew. Knew for decades. Kinda explains the whispers that stopped when I came into a room. The smirks and looks of pity I got for the first few years after we got home. The smirks stopped in time. I have always been the go to guy if someone needs help, guess good deeds do have their reward. Best of all, my mother knew, knew from day frigging one. Pretty good when your own mom betrays you like this.

Needless to say I've let everyone who knew and didn't tell me know just exactly what I think of them, my mom included. For the past 5 years it's been "Jack, you need to forgive" us/her/me. Hell hasn't frozen over yet. I've made a point of letting their spouses, significant others, companions whatever know what they did and their attitude about it. I've also let them know everything I can dig up about any extra curricular shit they've done. 2 divorces, 4 teetering on the brink so far. No one is smirking now. I'm a bastard and I'm enjoying it.

Long and short of it I'm maintaining the status quo. I'm waiting for Deb to die. Till death do us part, so be it. Don't mean I have to love, hell, even like the cunt. My kids support what I've done. Both have told off various and sundry when they've tried to criticize me. Makes for some intense family gatherings for the holidays tho.