Summers of Love and Tragedy

Author's note: This story did not fit into any neat category. There is group and one on one sex (hetero and homosexual) depicted. There is love and there is loss. If your idea of group sex is one guy with multiple women this may not be the story for you.

On June 2, 1967 I graduated from high school. The next day I stuck my thumb out in a westerly direction along side route 40 in rural Pennsylvania. That was before the days of coast-to-coast interstate highways and in a time when a young man with long flowing hair and a full beard wasn't welcome in everyone's car. Thus began a ten day odyssey of jumping into vehicles with strangers in my attempt to reach the west coast. Though I didn't do an exact count, I reckoned that it took about a hundred individual rides to get to my destination. Some of those rides were pretty scary and I was even convinced in a few cases I was going to be taken out to some desolate area and raped or killed. Even before the movies Easy Rider and Deliverance popularized the idea of rednecks murdering hippies or ass fucking hapless travelers, my imagination could easily conjure up horrible images. But imagination and danger be damned, I was determined to get to San Francisco that summer.

A month before my nineteenth birthday, I made it. I was standing on the corner of Haight and Ashbury, the mecca of hippie culture. That neighborhood was everything the history books say it was in the summer of 1967. Countless lost young souls wandered the streets in a psychedelic fog seeking the promise of peace and love. Though I embraced the hippie life style it wasn't so much the peace movement that drew me as the sex, drugs and rock n'roll. The music spoke to some, I suppose. To me it was just the background soundtrack to a hedonistic orgy of pleasures involving both the flesh and the mind. Drugs flowed like water and easy doesn't come close to describing the sexual ways of the hippie chicks that came to San Francisco with flowers in their hair.

The second day I was there I fucked some chick whose name I didn't even know with hundreds of people all around in Golden Gate Park. A few weeks later I saw her hanging out with a few other totally spaced out chicks. It wasn't until years later that I realized they were the kinds of girls that disappeared forever or ended up with characters like Charles Manson. I also had many brushes with the famous or soon to be famous in my first days in San Francisco. I partied at Jerry Garcia's house and occasionally ran into Janis Joplin on the street. There was always music and many future stars could be seen playing for free in the parks or for the price of a beer in local psychedelic clubs.

I had been there about three weeks when I discovered another side to the summer of love; hippie chicks weren't the only ones who were easy. There were a lot of gay men in San Francisco than as now and bisexually was looked upon by many as just another expression of freedom. I was at one of a seemingly continuous stream of orgies humping another nameless, drugged out chick from behind when I noticed a guy near me sucking a cock while he was fucking what I thought was a chick. At first I thought it was a hallucination. But it was far too real. As I looked around, I saw more sexual pairings I had not considered. There were girls with girls and two guys clearly blowing each other as well as a wild looking threesome happening. Up to that point I had never given sex with a guy much thought at all. Hippie chicks were easy even in my hometown so I didn't have much motivation to consider other sources of sexual release.

A few days later I was hanging out at some guy's house I had gotten to know pretty well. I was stoned senseless on a combination of pot and opium when this twenty something dude with very long almost white hair, that turned out to be my friend's roommate, came over and sat next to me. I can't tell you to this day what the hell we talked about for the next half hour. I can tell you he was what I would recognize now as a very hot guy. At the time he was just another hippie who was talking too much. Even though I had begun to think a little about sexual experimentation with guys, I hadn't begun to appreciate male attractiveness. I did however begin to get a vibe from him that had he been a chick I would have known meant I was going to get laid. As stoned as I was I figured it was probably just a horny hallucination and ignored the feeling.

I don't know how long we had talked before he came right out and said, "Hey, man, I think it would be a trip to suck your cock."

I heard myself saying, "Cool," and watched myself walk upstairs to a bedroom with him even though I was thinking the whole time that I wasn't into that scene.

Once in the bedroom he asked me what I was into. I was feeling dizzy and my senses were on fire.

"Never been into guys before," I mumbled as he began to undress me.

"Far out," He declared as he dropped my shirt on the floor and moved his fingers to the buttons on my pants.

I was already excited and hard due to the anticipation of getting my cock sucked, but I wasn't sure I could return the favor.

"Man, I don't know if this is a good idea," I managed to say as he pushed my pants down.

"Relax, man, its cool. You don't have to do anything but enjoy," He assured me.

The idea that I could get a blow job and not have to return the favor made it all ok in my mind. He had me sit on the bed so that he could get my pants completely off. Since I didn't wear underwear or shoes that day I was suddenly naked with a guy. I was also so horny it didn't matter to me that the mouth that was about to suck my dick was attached to a male body. I didn't even mind when he started to take off his clothes. It was the first time that I had ever paid much attention to a guy undressing. I didn't yet appreciate that a guy could be sexually appealing, but I did find his hard cock fascinating. Though I had seen plenty of erect cocks at orgies, being the object of attraction to a guy was something new and in many ways I wish my first time with a guy hadn't happened when I was stoned out of my mind. But then in might never have happened if I wasn't stoned.

His cock was hard and very different from mine. I could only assume that he was on the short side since his cock was a good two inches shorter than mine which in my naivety I had assumed was about average at somewhere over seven inches. The other difference was the thickness of his sausage. It was a lot fatter than mine and had what looked at the time to be a huge head. In addition he had a pair of balls that were so big I was sure wearing pants must have been uncomfortable. I was glad to see he wasn't very hairy. Even though he was a few years older than me, he looked younger which helped me relax.

He smiled at me when he noticed I was watching him. Then he licked his lips and walked toward me. As he knelt down at my feet he ran his hands up my thighs sending chills right to my core. I responded to his gentle nudging by spreading my legs for him. I was surprised when instead of immediately gobbling up my cock he moved his mouth to my balls. Only a couple of the many chicks who had blown me up to that point had paid much attention to my balls with their mouth. Some had fondled them, most too roughly. But this guy was amazing; he used his lips and tongue on my sack as if he was a cock sucking artist. During the long session of ball worship he moaned things about sucking my nuts being far out and me having a groovy body. He was one of the few people I have ever known who could say groovy without sounding like an idiot. He was also the only one who ever said it while sucking my balls.

After some time he moved from my balls to my cock. He ran his lips and tongue up and down my shaft. Each time he reached the top he would swirl his tongue around my throbbing cock head. He hadn't taken my cock into his mouth and I already knew he was the best cock sucker I had been with to that point in my life. When he finally began to suck my cock in earnest, I was sure I had gone to heaven. His tongue teased the underside of my shaft as he slowly engulfed nearly my entire length. No chick had come close to taking me as deep as he was taking me. Though at that point I no longer cared that he had a cock instead of pussy, it would have been easy for me to imagine that it was just another nameless chick sucking my dick.

When I looked down all I saw was his long blond hair draped over my crotch and laying on his smooth back. I couldn't see his dick or balls as they were hidden under his kneeling body. His ass was as shapely and smooth as any female I had ever seen naked. I didn't think much about the lack of tits or his very tiny male nipples. When his face brushed my skin I didn't feel any stubble. He was either a very close shaver or one of those guys who couldn't grow a beard even in his early twenties. At that point the drugs and the pleasure he was providing combined to produce a disassociation of mind and body. It was like I was watching myself get a blow job. I saw the blond head bobbing up and down and heard the deep moans coming from my lips. The sensation of being sucked turned into pictures of my cock sliding in and out of a pair of soft lips in my mind.

I was close to the edge for a long time. As often was the case when I ingested heavy doses of mind altering substances orgasm was delayed. I did not consider at the time that the guy was actually keeping me just at brink intentionally. At least not until he let my cock slip from his mouth and looked up at me.

"You ready to fuck me, man?" He asked in voice that sounded like it was coming from outer space.

I wasn't even really sure what he was asking me. All I could think was that he didn't have a pussy. I wasn't stupid; I had just never considered the idea of fucking a guy. I had had anal sex once with a chick that was so whacked out I doubt she knew I was in her ass and not her cunt. I sure knew though. I had fucked her before and her pussy was loose unlike her ass which felt like a vice grip on my dick.

"What ever you want, man," I heard myself say.

He stood up and suddenly his chubby cock was only inches from my face. I reached out and touched his fat erection. He smiled as I awkwardly handled a cock for the first time.

"How do we do this?" I asked as I moved my fingers to his huge balls.

I hefted them in my palm as if I was weighing some exotic fruit. As they were nearly hairless they felt surprisingly smooth and soft to the touch.

"Since it is your first time, it probably will work best if I bend over and you stand behind me.

I was so fascinated with his balls that I almost forgot what we were talking about. My memory came back when he grabbed something off the night stand and handed it to me. By that point enough of the fog from the drugs had lifted so that the reality of what I was about to do set in a bit. I looked at the jar of Vaseline in my hand and wondered what I was supposed to do as he bent over the bed and presented his ass. Again from the angle I was looking at him, he could as easily have been some chick I was about to fuck. When I moved directly behind him that illusion was completely destroyed. His large balls hanging below his smooth sexy looking ass left no mistake about his gender. It didn't much matter though. I was so horny and still stoned enough that I probably would have fucked a sheep.

I opened the jar and scooped up a large dollop of the greasy goop with my fingers. I spread his ass cheeks and began to work the lubricant into his tight hole. He began to moan as I slid first one and then two fingers deep into his ass. His moans encouraged me to continue to finger fuck him. I started to feel his rectum tense every time I hit a certain spot. When I began to concentrate on that spot I could see that he was trembling.

"Damn, man, you're good. I am tripping here," He gasped and rammed his ass onto my fingers.

After a couple of minutes of grinding against my fingers he exhorted me to lube up my dick and get busy.

"Come on man, I need that big cock inside me, now!" He begged.

I pulled my fingers out of his ass and quickly coated my cock in Vaseline. But, I had a problem. I had no idea how to fuck a guy. When I had fucked the chick in the ass we were lying down and I simply pulled my dick out of her pussy and moved it to her ass. Once I forced my way inside her rear entrance I simply banged away as if I was still fucking her cunt. I timidly guided my slippery cock to his equally slippery hole. Every time I tried to push my dick into his ass it just slipped around in his crack. After several attempts he reached back and grabbed hold of my dick. He held my cock head to the target as I pushed and suddenly I popped past his anus.

"Oh, yeah, man," He moaned in a dreamy stoned out voice as I slid my cock into his rectum.

I didn't stop until I was ball deep inside his ass. He never showed any sign that he felt the pain I had expected him to feel.

"Oh man, that big cock feels far out, now fuck me baby!" He demanded as he was shoving his ass back at me.

Having no other experience to draw on, I pulled back and began banging his ass as if he was some chick I was doing doggy style. Though his moans were a little deeper than most chicks it was fairly easy to fall into the fantasy that I was fucking a chick with a nice tight cunt. His long flowing hair and smooth back and ass could have been female. I could no longer see his balls and even though mine were slapping against his at that point, it was easy to imagine my balls were hitting some part of the female anatomy. However, I kept coming back to the idea that I was fucking a guy and liking it a lot. Almost as if I wanted to hold onto the idea that it was a male under me and not some chick, I reached under his belly and took his cock in my hand. I started jacking him off as I continued to pound his ass.

"Oh fuck," He wailed as the pace of my strokes matched up with the pace of my thrusts.

Suddenly, he jammed his ass back against me and I felt like my cock was trapped. I was certain if I tried to pull back that my throbbing member would be ripped from my body. We ground together as his convulsing rectal walls massaged my cock and he spurted cum onto the bed. Thirty seconds later pleasure blinded my stoned mind as I empty my balls deep into his body.

I don't know how we got from that point to sleeping side-by-side but I woke up in bed naked with a man for the first time the next morning. In hindsight it was probably a good thing that I spent the night in his bed. Otherwise, I likely would have thought the experience was just a hallucination. However, at that moment I was a bit confused about the whole thing. Waking up with a naked man for the first time with a heavy opium hangover caused some questioning of what I had always known my sexuality to be. I was enough into the whole free love idea not to be overly concerned about enjoying a blow job from a guy or even fucking him in the ass. But there was a hunk of unaccounted for time after I came in his ass that made me wonder what else I might have done. Since my ass wasn't sore I didn't think I had let him fuck me, but I wondered if I might have sucked my first cock.

My pondering of the situation ended when my bedmate awoke and said, "Hey, man, good morning, far out time last night."

"Uh huh," I mumbled as I looked around for my clothes while avoiding eye contact.

"You ok, man?" He asked clearly concerned though he wasn't fully awake.

"Yeah, everything is cool," I semi lied, "Just feeling a little doped out and I was supposed to be somewhere today, man."

"Oh cool, maybe we can get together again?"

I made no commitment as I jumped out of bed and slipped into my jeans. Once I had found my shirt and sandals, I thanked him for a fun night the same way I would with a chick that I had no intention of seeing again. I am not sure he picked up the signal or if he did he obviously ignored my meaning. He just laid there naked, fully exposed, smiling and told me how groovy I was. I left the room without exchanging names.

For some reason as I walked toward a coffee shop where I knew I could get more than coffee I noticed the date on a newspaper in one of those metal dispensing machines. It just happened that it was my nineteenth birthday. I reflected that I had had a pretty momentous beginning to another year. I decided to see if I could use the fact of it being my birthday to get the sexy older chick that ran the coffee house and sold various mind altering substances from the back room to let me fuck her. I was feeling a little in need of proving my manhood that morning. As it turned out the 40-year old proprietor was being visited by her equally sexy 21-year old daughter that morning.

"Hey, man," Julia the owner greeted me, "You're looking a little spaced Jackie, I guess you made the scene last night."

"I'm maintaining, sexy lady. Just the usual shit, smoking dope and screwing," I shot back trying to be casual.

"Cool, I can definitely dig that, baby. Oh this is my daughter, Cindy. Cindy this trippin dude is Jack."

"Damn, Julia, I don't want to sound like I'm putting ya on, but no way are you old enough to be this chick's old lady."

"Jeez, mom, you still got the out a sight dudes trying to ball you!" Cindy exclaimed with a laugh.

I was happy to be called out a sight by the sexy chick, but embarrassed to have been called out on my lame attempt at flirting. Julia was definitely hot and I would have loved to have boned her, but anyone could tell that she was old enough to be Cindy's mother.

"Hey, Julia and I are just friends, ya know," I tried to protest.

"It's cool, Jack. My old lady has been stealing the dudes from me since high school," Cindy said as she came over and offered her hand.

I was pretty sure that Julia wouldn't have a prayer of stealing me if Cindy wanted me.

"So what you looking for Jackie; something for the stomach, soul or head?" Julia asked as I ogled her daughter.

"I'll start with one of those far out muffins, please. After that I was hoping you might have something special since it is my birthday."

She handed me a muffin from inside the glass counter while looking like she was contemplating an important decision.

"Well, since it is your birthday, Jackie, and it is a slow day, I think we should close up and have a little party. What do you think, Cindy, you wanna help Jackie celebrate?"

"If we are going to party, this dude needs a bath. I like my hippie boys clean. You up for a bath and a little party this morning Jack?" Cindy replied.

"Right on, where's the tub?"

"Why don't you take him upstairs and show him the pad?" Julia suggested to Cindy.

She led me up to the small apartment over the store where I presumed that Julia lived alone since I had never known her to have an old man around. The bathroom she led me to didn't have a tub, so it seemed the bath was going to be a shower. It didn't have a door either.

She handed me a towel as she suggested, "Give me your clothes and I will toss them in my old lady's wash machine."

Though I certainly wasn't shy about undressing in front of others, I didn't want to be too presumptuous either, so I hesitated to begin stripping while she was standing there.

"You don't look like the shy type, Jack," She said and flashed me a slightly wicked looking grin.

I wasn't even sure why I had hesitated. Since my second day in the Haight, I had been living in what would be best described as a small commune. The wearing of clothing was definitely an option and sleeping arrangements were catch as catch can. It wasn't at all odd to crash in a room right next to two people fucking their brains out. Nor was it odd to find chicks or guys in any room of the house partially or totally naked. I was very comfortable living in a place where total freedom was the norm. As I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped my pants, revealing all to Cindy, I still wasn't sure what her or her mother's intentions were for our little party.