Summertime Sadness

© 2017 Chloe Tzang. All rights reserved. The author asserts a moral right to be identified as the author of this story. This story or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

"Summertime Sadness" was written for the 2017 Literotica Summer Lovin competition. It's probably the fastest I've ever written a story, over the weekend before the competition opened. A couple of days of writing with almost no editing. While it's fictional, it's all very much based far too closely on reality, except of course where it isn't. Really, as I was writing this, all I had to do was close my eyes and go back in time. More than a few readers have commented about the reality of the emotions and feelings and the characters in some of my stories and most of them do have bits and pieces of reality intermingled. This one's more than a little closer to reality than most and it's dedicated to the real "Grant" although it wasn't quite like this. It's a vignette of a moment in time that will always have a place in my heart. It was a different song, the names and the places were different, but almost all the people, the feelings and the emotions were and are very real to me. The end of summer, the sadness of parting, of a love that's coming to an end, of knowing that parting would be forever, that's forever true and that lost love will always be a part of me to remember and to cherish and to smile about and to shed tears over. This one is my reply to your letter. And of course, it's also a story... Chloe

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That, baby, you're the best

I got my red dress on tonight

Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight

Done my hair up real big beauty queen style

High heels off, I'm feeling alive

Summertime Sadness" - Lana del Rey

"Summer's almost gone." I gaze up at the stars blazing across the night sky, throw a pebble as hard as I can, hear the soft plop as it falls into the lake, watch the dark ripples spreading outwards, moonlight and starlight reflected of still waters.

You say nothing as you join me at the waters edge, the blankets you carried laid out on the beach behind us. Your arms slip around my waist, your breath stirs my hair and I lean back against the comfort of your body. We stand there together, both of us looking out over the lake as the ripples spread outwards and die. In the distance, the music from the party increases in volume and now we can make out the words, the song. Summer Love. Justin Timberlake, and I know whose picking the music back there.

"Dance with me?" I smile as I turn, as I take your hands in mine and we're dancing on the beach. Just you and me, slow dancing, eyes only for each other. I reach for you and you come to me, your lips brush mine, your mouth possesses mine as my arms slide around your neck. Your arms enfold me in an embrace I know so well, your face looks down into mine and it seems like that's when you notice my dress, the new red dress I picked to wear for you tonight. You look at my dress and you smile for the first time.

"You're so beautiful, Teresa," you say, and there's a catch in your voice as your hands move to cup my face, to hold me as you kiss me and now we're not slow dancing any more. We're standing in the pale moonlight and we're kissing. You're kissing me, you're devouring me, absorbing me and I give myself to you without restraint, complete surrender, my mouth yours, everything of me yours, as it has been since that first time we made love. Your eyes are sad and the only thing I want to do is to kiss that sadness away.

Without a word your mouth lifts from mine, you take my hand, turn, lead me towards the blankets, we kick our shoes off and your hands unfasten my hair so that it falls loose to my hips, a wave of silk and blackness that shines in the moonlight. I shake it out as you unzip my dress, brush my dress from my shoulders, brush my dress downwards to my hips and my hands do the rest, urging the thin fabric down to fall and pool around my ankles. I'm already naked beneath my dress, my bra and panties discarded before I walked to join you in anticipation of what I know you want from me. What you need from me. What I want to give you. My last gift to you. My parting gift. The only gift I have to give you.

The gift of my love, the gift of my body.

We've done this before. We've done this for five months now, whenever there's been an opportunity. On the floor of your office that first time that Friday night when I was on my way home from High School a few days after I turned eighteen. "My birthday present," I'd said to you afterwards, and you'd smiled and then we'd done it again, more slowly, and then a third time, rushed and hard and I'd told you I loved you.

In my room, on my bed when my parents and my brothers are out. On the back seat of your truck. Down here by the lake now and then, a weekend morning or an afternoon where we'd absconded, no one knowing where we were but us and I never asked how you explained your absences to your wife. Early in the morning when you tell Yvonne you're going jogging and you call me and I slip out my window and we make love inside the garden shed, hidden in the trees and shrubs at the bottom of my parent's garden.

Once, early in the morning, I brought you in through my window. We made love silently in my bed, my family asleep all around us as you took me and the excitement of that, the daring, it'd been exquisite. Not just in my house. In your house too, when your wife's away for a conference or a weekend training seminar, something that happens every month and every time she's away I've come to babysit your kids and I sleep with you.

All night with you is pure bliss, held in your arms. Waking up beside you in the morning. Making love with you in your bed, in the shower in your bathroom. In the Jacuzzi. On the couch after your children are in bed and asleep. On the floor. Bent forward over the breakfast table once, with your children outside in the yard, playing.

Always, always, there's been that knowledge in the back of my mind that this day is coming. This last night before I leave, a last night together and now it's here and I'm naked for you and you're looking at me, your eyes enjoying me, your breath coming faster and I'm smiling. I love you looking at me, love the pleasure you receive merely from looking at my body.

I know everything you love about me, you've told me so many times. My long black hair, my narrow hips and tiny waist, my eyes, almond-shaped, so different from everyone here but my Mom's. My little snub nose, my small breasts, my butt, the pale ivory of my skin where the sun hasn't tanned me. You like that I have almost no body hair and you love that I shave myself for you. You love my nipples and they're already swollen and full as your hands caress me there while I unbutton your shirt. You help me peel it off and then I'm undoing your belt, unzipping your jeans, kneeling before you to strip you naked and your arousal juts stiffly upwards and outwards before my eyes.

I look up at you and I smile as I balance myself with one hand on your hip, the other clasping you delicately in my fingers, stroking you slowly, breathing in that masculine musk that excites me so much that I'm already ready for you, but tonight there's no rush, we have all night and I want this to last. I want to drive you out of your mind before you take me and when you take me, I want that sadness to be forgotten in the madness of your desire and your passion for me.

Your hands reach down to stroke my hair, brush my hair back from my face and our eyes meet. Everything else is forgotten as we look into each other eyes and now you're smiling down at me as I smile up at you.

"I love you, Grant," I breath, my heart wide open, my voice catching. You're not handsome. You're a little overweight. You're not my age. Not even close. You're thirty five and I'm eighteen. You're sixteen years older than me and you're married and you have two young children. You love your wife, you love your kids, you love me and I love you and I'd do anything for you and there's no rhyme or reason to my love for you. It just appeared as if from nowhere and I'd do anything for you. Anything at all and I will tonight and I have all this summer. Whatever you want from me, I give you willingly and with all my heart.

My heart and my body and my love, that's all I have to give you and I give you everything I have. I give you everything you want from me. I give you my love and you take it.

"I love you, Teresa," you say, your voice gentle, your hands gentle for now but I know they won't be for long and I'm shivering with my own excitement and need. "I love you so much."

I know you do, and I know you're torn between your wife and your kids and me and I'm happy and I'm sad. You love them too, I know that. I know that I'm your mid-life crisis and I've known your wife since forever. She used to babysit me for my Mom when I was a baby. I was the flower-girl for her at your wedding and I remember to this day how beautiful she was. An angel in white. None of that matters now, because you love me and I love you.

"I know you love me," I say, running my fingers over your balls, along your shaft. I do love you, and I'm going to make this easy for you. It's not easy for me. It hurts so much, but we've already talked about this. I know you love your wife and kids and I'm leaving for college in the morning. This will be over, our love ended and it breaks my heart to do this, but what else can I do? I'm not going to stay and destroy your marriage. I'm not going to ask you to choose between your wife and your kids and me. I don't have that in me to do that to you and Yvonne.

I've made the choice for you.

"Thank you, Teresa," you'd said when I'd told you weeks ago that I'd made up my mind. That I was going to college the way I'd planned. "Thank you for being strong enough for both of us. Because I don't have the strength for this." I knew you didn't. I know you don't. You love me too much and me, I love you too much to destroy you and I know that's what it would do to you. I could take you from her if I wanted to, I know that, but I can't bring myself to hurt so many other people around me just for myself.

It hurts, it hurts me so much but at least we still have tonight, and I smile and I try to forget as my fingers stroke you slowly. As I puff a breath of air across your swollen cockhead, smile up at you as your hips jerk. My tongue flickers out, I lick the tip of your cock delicately. One lick and I taste you and I know just how excited your are and how much you want me and I take pity on you.

Except it's not really pity at all. It's greed. My greed. I can't wait for you to fill my mouth and my lips part, my lips engulf your cock, my lips slide down your shaft while my tongue runs and swirls down the underside of your cock and I take as much of your cock into my mouth as I can. Down, until your cockhead touches the back of my mouth and I take a breath and do what you've taught me to do and slide my lips all the way down to the base of your cock while my finger and thumb circle you where my lips will touch them.

Your cock pushes a little into my throat as I take all of your length and I hear your groan of pleasure as I slide back, my lips sealed to you, my mouth sucking at you until only your cockhead remains on my tongue and you're shuddering with the pleasure of what I'm doing to you as I do it again and again. Your hands clutch at my head now and your hips are moving. Your cock fills my mouth, slides inwards past my lips where they're sealed to your shaft, brush my tongue as I press it against you and your excitement is growing fast and I know this first time you won't last long.

Your next words confirm that."I need you, Teresa," you gasp. "I want you now. I have to have you now."

I know you do and I smile again, sliding my lips from you, a last lick of your cock, a gentle caress of your balls and I'm moving to lie on my back on the rug.

"Okay," I say, very simply, and I'm already spreading my legs apart for you to kneel between them and you do, looking down at me and I lie there smiling as your eyes enjoy me. I know what I look like to you. I'm not blonde and tall and big-boobed like your wife or almost all the other girls around here. I'm barely pushing five feet tall, five feet four inches actually. I weigh one hundred and ten pounds, I'm so slender everyone here calls my skinny, but I'm not really, I'm just slim and fit and I know you love the way I look. I know you love everything about me. I know you want me badly and I'm ready for you.

Your fingers touch me where I'm already opening for you and I whimper, my hips jerking as your fingers confirm my readiness. You lean forward, your arms either side of me and you lower your mouth to one breast, kiss my nipple, lick it, lick my breast, engulf it with your mouth. My breasts are small, small and firm and I know you like them, you've told me so many times.

You play with them for hours when you can, your hands, your mouth, caressing, touching, teasing, licking, kissing, sucking at my nipples and tonight is no exception. You mouth my breasts alternately, you suck my nipples until I clutch at your head and push my breast into your mouth and hold you there.

"I love you ... I love you," I gasp, and I want you so much but I want this to last as well. We only have this night left, I know this night is all we'll ever have and it has to last forever.

"I love you, Teresa," and you're over me, your eyes look down into mine. "I want you now," you breathe before your lips touch mine and we're kissing as my hand reaches for you, as I draw my knees back, offering myself to you eagerly.

I clasp you on my hand, open myself to you with my fingers and guide you to me. I'm wet, so hot and wet and slippery and I'm ready for you. I'm ready for you as soon as I see you mostly, but tonight, after what you've been doing to me, I'm so eager, so impatient and I tug at you with my fingers, wanting you so much. Wanting you inside me and when your cockhead pushes against me gently, I open to you, I cross my ankles behind your back and I pull myself onto you impatiently.

"Ohhhhhh." I can't help it, you feel so good as you slide up inside me and I can't do it, I have no strength left and my ankles fall away, my knees brush your ribs, I clutch at your shoulders with hands suddenly weak.

You look down at me, your eyes hold mine, your nose brushes mine and you smile as you thrust yourself into me slowly, so slowly, such exquisite delight as you ease relentlessly up inside me. Slowly, but without any pause, a remorseless entry that goes on and on and on.

My back arches, my head arches back, I cling to you, my heels beat a little tattoo against your hips as you slide up into me, more and more and more of you until your body meets mine, crushes up hard against mine and you're buried inside me to the hilt. There's no more of you to give and I quiver around you, alive, on fire, wanting nothing more than what you're doing to me.

"Teresa." You breathe my name, holding yourself still inside me and I shudder with the sheer pleasure of you inside me and speaking my name as you take me. There's nothing that has ever given me more pleasure than being with you like this. Your weight on me as I lie beneath you, my thighs cradling you as you join yourself to me, as your cock fills me inside and I know what you want.

I smile up at you, enjoying the eagerness written across your face. "As hard as you like," I gasp.

You've taught me so much about myself over these five months. Before I came to you, I wasn't a virgin, but only just. There'd been two guys, my old boyfriend and then, at that party I don't want to remember, his best buddy that one time. But they were only a little older than me. They more than made up in enthusiasm what they lacked in experience, but of love they knew very little.

With you, I got experience as well as enthusiasm and I've learnt so much. You've been my teacher as well as my lover, my mentor, my friend. My beloved. The second time I came to your office, I'd smiled as I walked in. You'd looked up, surprised, then happy. You'd laughed when I'd told you, "I'm here for my sex-ed lesson." You'd laughed and then you'd shown me I wasn't joking at all. You'd shown me just how much I had to learn.

You'd shown me that there was so much for me to learn and you'd taught me a little. Sitting in your office chair, my panties hanging off one ankle, my legs over the armrests on either side, I'd clutched at your head as you worshiped me with your mouth and your fingers and I'd climaxed again and again, barely able to comprehend what was happening to me through the waves of pleasure washing through me.

"It's a good thing the walls are solid brick," you'd said as I'd cried out in wordless excitement yet again and then you'd taken me, face down over your desk, my skirt flipped up around my waist. You'd taken me gently at first, then hard and when you found I liked that, harder still. When I couldn't stop myself from crying out, you'd told me to cram my panties into my mouth and I had and I'd tasted my own excitement as you took me harder still and I climaxed for you.

You'd been surprised that I Iiked it hard. Surprised and then pleased and then, as you discovered just how eager I was, how much I enjoyed what you did to me, you'd found yourself in heaven.

"Are you sure?" you'd asked. "You're so small, I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"Please," I'd begged you. "Harder ... harder." My Mom's Chinese and she's small and delicate. Me, I'm small and slender like my Mom. I'm anything but delicate. I may look it, but I've been training at Tae Kwon Do since I was five and I'm tough and I'm fit and the only softness about me is in all the right places and when you take me hard, I'm in ecstasy.

Tonight, I look up at you as you lie over me, as your cock fills me and the only thought in my mind is that tonight, this is all for you and whatever you want from me, I'll give to you. Even the butt thing that I don't enjoy that much but I know you do, even that I'll give to you willingly and eagerly if that's what you want from me tonight. Tonight, our last night together, I'm yours completely and without reservation.

Tonight, I look up at you as you lie over me, as your cock fills me and I read our face and I know exactly what you want from me and I smile. "As hard as you like," I gasp.

"Uuuhhhh," I groan as you pound your cock into my cunt. As you drive my body down into the sand beneath us, hammering your cock into me again and again. "Uhhhh ... uuuhhh ... uhhhh ...uuuuhhh."

You're giving it to me hard. You know that's what I like best and I love it that you're so heavy on me, that your cock is so big and so hard, like a steel bar impaling me again and again and again, remorselessly. As remorselessly as a jack hammer and I'm losing my mind as you fuck me, on and on and on but tonight, this first time, you don't last long and I'm reaching my first climax as your cock explodes inside me.

My hands clutch at your shoulders, I'm bucking beneath you, my cunt dancing on your cock as that golden pleasure fills me in a slow wave and then your cock is throbbing and pulsing inside me, your cum is spurting into me, your body tightens, your eyes hold mine and I share your pleasure as you find you fulfillment inside me, on and on, jerking and shuddering against me and I revel in the sensations within my body as you pump your cum into me, fill my cunt with the evidence of your satisfaction and I'm yours, all yours as we subside.