Surefoot 25: Cross Porpoises

The Counselor kept glaring at Masterson, but still addressed her venom at Sasha. "Who said you could take Misha out of our quarters without my permission? Who said you could bring him in here? With someone I don't even know?"

"I- I-"

"It was my fault, Ma'am," Masterson interjected, as he slowly, carefully removed his guitar and set it aside, keeping his hands open and not approaching the woman. "I met them outside and invited them in; I never met a Caitian before, and I wanted to get a gander. I'm Doc-"

"I don't give a damn about your name!" she snarled. "You go near my cub again, and you'll get a gander at your own intestines! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Sorry, Ma'am."

Sasha turned scarlet. "Kami, I- I didn't mean-"

Misha began crying.

Ignoring the others now, Kami lifted up his chair and stormed out again.

Pale, shaking with shock and confusion, Sasha looked to Masterson. "Doc, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you into trouble! It wasn't your fault, you shouldn't have said anything!"

He shook his head, waving off her apology. "Don't you be fretting over it, little lady - by that, or what she said to you. She's hurting. More than she'll say. It's a cliché that doctors make the worst patients, but that's only 'coz it's true."

*

Deck 4 Mid - Engineering Workshop:

Falok leaned forward, manipulating the controls before him, enlarging the images of the pieces of the broken Capellan sword on the display. "As you can see, the Nanites can be programmed to reknit along the appropriate edges, with a variance of only 2.5 microns at most. It will be as if the sword had not been broken at all."

Beside him, Eydiir sat, arms folded across her chest, her taciturn expression hardening. "But it has been. I broke it. I will always know."

The Vulcan tilted his head towards her. "But does that matter?"

"Yes. On Capella, a weapon that has been broken in battle is buried - something we do not even do with our deceased." She grunted. "We treat our weapons with more respect than our people."

The cadet who had in the past few months had become her confidante, and then her lover, now faced her fully, his expression sympathetic. "You wish to bury this sword? Perhaps in the Arboretum, or the next planet we pass?"

"I..." She paused, and then added, "I do not wish to give up on it. Not if it can be saved. It may not be the same as it was before, but that does not mean it should be discarded."

Falok raised an eyebrow. "One could say the same thing about the other victims of the Vlathi."

Eydiir looked to him, a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "You have a way with words."

He glanced behind them, ensuring no one was around, before reaching out with his hand, the fore- and middle fingers extended.

She almost responded with her own. In the past few weeks, they had developed enough of a mental rapport to initiate a shallow mindmeld, nothing too deep or intricate, but rather a quick exchange of thoughts. It was a fascinating, intense experience, and she used to look forward to their meetings.

But she held back now. She had no interest in sharing thoughts anymore. Certainly not the recent ones. She couldn't say why, and she hoped he didn't take it the wrong way.

A hint of a frown crossed his features, as he lowered her hand again. "Forgive me. I did not mean to presume-"

She shook her head. "No. It is not you. I am... not yet ready." She turned back to the display. "Shall we proceed?"

*

Deck 3 Fore - Alpha Squad Quarters:

Kit couldn't sit still. He kept feeling things creeping up behind him. Hiding just out of sight. Ready to pounce. Ready to strike and cut and hurt and kill and-

NO! STOP IT! NOTHING IS THERE! NOTHING!

He wasn't sleeping properly. His mottled lime-green skin had lost some of its colour, and his round bronze eyes felt filmy. He yawned for what felt like the thousandth time in the last handful of days, his throat wattles aching.

He couldn't focus on the screen before him. The words seemed to crawl over the display. Swarms of them, attacking those who are different- Aberrant ABERRANT ABERRANT ABERRANT

He blinked, accepting that he couldn't finish editing and transmitting his journal back to his homeworld in his current condition, and switched off the display and rose, stretching his limbs. He should sleep. Yes, he definitely should.

Except at those times, the nightmares would return, and he can't stop them from CRAWLING OVER HIM POUNDING BEATING YOU FILTHY ABERRANT-

Kit gripped the back of his chair, waiting for it to pass.

Then his attention moved once more to the black bag sitting beside the couch.

He was alone; the other members of his squad were elsewhere, but any of them could be back at any time.

It was wrong to go back to it.

He still did, kneeling and opening it, the guilt rising like bile within him. Very Good Friend Eydiir's medical bag should be used only by her, for when one of them needed a quick patch-up for torn ligaments or cuts and bruises. He really shouldn't be doing this. If he was caught-

He jumped again at nothing.

Then he prepared a hypospray with a mild sedative. Not much. Just enough to help dull the senses. And Eydiir and the others didn't need to know. They were all suffering, or helping each other. They didn't need to worry about him as well.

*

Deck 2 Fore - Command Quarters:

Kami was removing Misha from the seat and comforting him, when Hrelle entered, his face a fixed mask. "Hello, you two. How's things?"

Kami was reclining on the couch, her arms wrapped around their infant, who looked settled again. Her face was a picture of innocence. "Fine, Beloved. I thought you were in the Shuttlebay talking technobabble with Lt Velkovsky?"

He shrugged. "I could tell she was barely tolerating having her Captain hanging around taking up her time talking about shuttle engine improvements." He drew closer, kneeling down beside them and nuzzling both their snouts. "And what have you two been up to? I thought Sasha was minding him for you while you caught up with admin work?"

She smirked. "Come on, Esek. You know better than that."

"Better than what?"

She reached out with her free hand and stroked the fur under his left ear. "Who told you about the little misunderstanding?"

"Misunderstanding?"

She nodded, smiling. "Sasha decided to go visit that handsome new doctor of ours, she took Misha with her without telling me, when I came in here and saw they were missing, and the computer said they were in Sickbay, I got a little worried, went down to find out what was going on, retrieved Misha and left her with the doctor."

"Oh? Is that all it was?" He reached up and tickled under Misha's chin. "I had heard that... voices were raised."

Kami laughed softly. "I think someone's been pulling your tail."

He looked to her, before nodding. "Okay. If that's the case, I'll see about getting you two something to eat. We still have some fresh food left over from the clan's visit that needs using up before our rendezvous with the Kanaloa."

She beamed at him. "Now that's My Big Strong Male thinking about his family. Don't skimp on the shuris strips."

"Promise." He rose, keeping his smile fixed until he left their quarters. Then he walked distractedly along the corridor to the Bridge, where Lt Neheru was in command on this shift since most of the senior crew had been temporarily put on Medical Leave. "Lieutenant, what's our ETA to the Kanaloa?"

The tall, scarecrow-like Kelpien almost bolted reflexively out of the Command Chair to let Hrelle take over, before he recovered. "Captain! The ETA is currently 8.3 hours at Warp 8."

The Caitian nodded. "Can we shorten that time, please?"

Neheru looked distinctly uncomfortable with having to make his reply. "Sir... Regulations typically do not allow for travel over Warp 8 except during emergency situations."

"Mr Neheru," Hrelle replied simply. Pleadingly. "We need their help. Quickly."

Neheru regarded him for a moment, before turning his chair to half-face the Ops Station behind him. "Ensign Naavos, please note for the record that I am authorising a test of the engines at high warp following the recent attack from the Vlathi."

The young Bajoran nodded. "Aye, Sir."

He turned back again. "Helm, increase speed to Warp 9.5."

The other cadet complied; the background hum of the warp engines discernibly increased. "Warp 9.5 reached, Lieutenant. New ETA to the Kanaloa: 3.4 hours."

Neheru nodded. "Coincidentally, that is how long I wish to test the engines." He looked back at Hrelle. "Sir, I am reluctant to remind you that as you are still on Medical Leave, your presence here is-"

Hrelle raised a hand to cut him off. "Say no more. I have to get the fish ready for Doctor Hawa- Hawawhillie- Hawaweewilliwinkie- Um..."

Neheru smirked sympathetically with his lipless mouth. "I had difficulty trying to pronounce the name in the report myself, Sir, and when the computer vocalised it, it sounded like a malfunction."

*

Deck 3 Fore - Enlisted Mess Hall:

Jonas ignored them: the stares, the glances. It was bound to happen, after all they've been through. He had gone through something similar the previous year, when he had tried to kill himself. He hated being the centre of attetnion, both because of that lapse, and because of his involvement with the Vlathi incident.

He strode up to the replicator; he hadn't slept well the night before, his Medical Leave status meant he couldn't go near any of his usual haunts or work on any equipment for Chief Grev, and his efforts to distract himself with academic work met with limited success. And Neraxis was having it worse, which meant he was caring for her. Not that he minded that-

He jumped at the hand that suddenly clasped onto his shoulder. "Hey, Killer!"

Jonas composed himself, employing long-useful techniques taught him by Kami. "Ray."

Delta Squad's Security Specialist Raymond Jeung drew up beside him, grinning, his tall frame and broad shoulders drawing in close, his face bright and animated. "How's it going?"

"Fine, thanks. Everything's fine."

"Good! And your gut? Still hurting from getting shot?"

"No." He tried to step aside, out of the cadet's grip and focus on the replicator menu panel. He wanted something to drink, something soothing-

"How's Nemm doing? We're missing her, and Lieutenant Shall."

"She's fine. They're both fine." Camomile and honey tea sounded good. Or maybe warm spiced milk; the Counselor recommended that once. And he could bring back some for Neraxis, though being Bolian she would probably want it with chili sauce-

Jeung leaned in again. "Yeah, must be tough, having all this free time to go Bumpers with your girlfriend, huh?" He chuckled. "Lucky bastard."

Jonas stopped staring blankly at the menu to glance at him. "What?"

Jeung grinned with pearly white teeth. "You lucky bastard. You got to see some action, you got shot, and you pulled a fancy trick with the transporter and killed one of those things!" His eyes widened. "Hey, what was it like? Must have been fun."

Jonas faced him fully, his face pale with disbelief as he raised his voice. "Are you... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" He drew in, aware that all eyes in the Mess Hall were on them now, aware of his hands squeezing into fists, aware that he was making a confused-looking Jeung back away, but not caring about any of that. "It was like using my knowledge of Engineering to come up with a way to tear a living being apart and end its life in a horrible, horrible way! It was like seeing my friends, people I love, being threatened, hurt, almost killed! It was like feeling slugs of metal pierce my flesh and shred my insides! It was like seeing blood and hearing hissing everywhere I go! It was like- like-"

"Jonas."

He turned; Chief Grev was there, the Tellarite stepping around the spectators that had arisen in order to approach the cadets. "Why don't you stop stinking up the Mess Hall with your human odours and take a walk?"

Jonas breathed in, forcing himself to look away from Jeung to face his supervisor, composing himself, ashamed of letting himself lose it like that. "Good- Good idea, Chief, I wouldn't want to stay here and risk getting tripped up by your huge clunky hooves."

Grev grunted with approval at the expected banter, patting the young man on the shoulder as Jonas departed. Then Grev moved up to Jeung. "As for you, perhaps you should come see me in Engineering about fixing that leak you have under your nose? The one spewing Sheer Ignorance?"

*

Deck 2 Fore - Guest Quarters 4:

They kept rising. And she kept firing, blood and guts spattering around her, until it felt like it was choking her lungs.

And still they kept rising, out of the ground, out of the bulkheads, humanoids and reptoids and guns and shouts and curses and hisses and cries and her ears rang with the thunderous roar of the rifle in her hands as she cut them to pieces and the pieces kept coming after her, grabbing her, piercing her blue skin and drawing purple blood and ripping her uniform and flesh and tearing her apart-

-Neraxis' fist smacked the wall next to the bed as she screamed and kicked, her feet caught in the blankets covering her.

"Ner-Ner!" Jonas entered the quarters and rushed up to her, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Wake up!"

Her eyes saucered and shot up at her lover - and her hand balled into a fist, ready to smack him in the face, before she recovered, shuddering, breathing hard.

He knelt at the bedside, his hands easing their hold on her, his voice low and reassuring. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare, that's all!"

The Bolian took a moment to recover her wits, before pulling him into a tight, desperate embrace.

They held each other for a while, before he climbed in beside her. She tensed. "Wait- I'm sweating here-"

He smiled. "Won't be the first time I've seen you sweat. Of course, there were better reasons then-"

"Hey, I mean it - you know my Bolian biochemistry by now, even my sweat can irritate you!"

He brought a finger to her dark blue lips to shush her. "I already took a neutraliser." Then he put an arm around her and rested his forehead against hers.

They were silent for a while, before Neraxis confessed, "Jonas... I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"All this time, I've been worked up over what I'm going through, and I've hardly asked about how you're doing."

He smiled. "I'm fine, Big Blue."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I!" He reached up and stroked the back of her bald head. "I know you started calling me Scrappy because I grew up in a scrapyard in Hyralin... but it can also mean I'm pretty tough, you know?" He stuck out his chin and spoke in a deep Klingon baritone. "I am Jonas, Son of Harriet, of the House of Ostrow! Today is a good day to diet!"

Neraxis chuckled, clutching him tightly. "What would I do without you, Scrappy?"

His smile broadened and hugged her again. "Let's not find out, okay?"

*

Deck 3 Fore - Holodeck 2:

On a blanket in a holographic glade filled with lush-smelling greenery and birdsong beneath an aquamarine sky, a naked Rrori rolled away from his date, unable to look at her anymore, too embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Izzy, I'm really sorry, that's never happened before..."

Delta Squad Leader Isabelle Zhou sat up, her Northern English accent sympathetic. "Hey, it's okay, I hear it happens to all guys at some stage-"

"Not to me!" He reached for his boxers, slipping into them, feeling an unaccustomed burst of embarrassment at his unclothed state. "I'm Meow Rrori! I'm a Titan! A Juggernaut! A Sexual Supernova! I'm- I'm..." He leaned forward, running his hands through the tufts of fine fur on the sides of his head beneath his high pointed ears. His voice grew low, fragile. "I'm an animal."

Zhou swung around to sit up beside him on the blanket. "Why would you say that? It's because of what happened, isn't it?"

He couldn't look at her. "I... I killed."

"Yes, I heard-"

"No. You don't know the details." He breathed in sharply with the memory. "When Little Misha was attacked, he made a scream. Not any ordinary scream. Our history books call it C'Mau's Cry, something most people think is just a story, apocryphal. I certainly thought that. But I was wrong.

It's a racial trigger, and any Caitian who hears it loses all reason. All civilisation. I raced into the Shuttlebay with the others to save him, took bullets without stopping or even being aware of it, and tore into flesh, using my claws, my teeth." He swallowed. "Many humans look at Caitians, with our fur and tails and muzzles, and see only these surface aspects. They see animals. I've heard the jokes told in the Mess Hall and the Gym, jokes about my having fleas and using litter boxes. Jokes I wasn't supposed to hear. And I'm sure that they aren't meant maliciously or seriously. They still sting."

"Who makes such jokes?" she demanded, appalled. "Is it any of my squad? Because if it is, they'll be feeling my teeth and claws!"

He shook his head. "No, don't even joke about that. It doesn't matter, anyway. Before the Vlathi came, I put aside such things. Yes, I had helped end lives, when piloting the Surefoot to attack other vessels, but that was always in the name of duty. This was different. This was up close, personal. And I can't help but accept that there is more truth in those jokes than I cared to accept until now. I am an animal."

She looked at him. "Probably. But really, no more than the rest of us. We might not have a C'Mau's Cry, but do you think humans don't have that same savage side to them? Of course we do. But that's all it is, just a side, a facet of us. It's not the whole picture."

She rose and walked across the grass to where she had discarded her clothes, beginning to dress again. "And for the record, I came in here despite your reputation as a 'Sexual Supernova', not because of it. Because I suspected that beneath the ego and the libido, there was this honest, vulnerable man who was worth getting to know better. And I'm glad I was right." She smiled. "And I want to see that man again. When you get the help you need, and your Mojo returns, call me for another date."

"Mojo?" He grunted. He liked the sound of that word.

"Yes. Now come on, buy me a coffee in the Mess Hall, and I'll tell you all about the coolest city on Earth: Manchester."

He liked the sound of that place, too.

*

Deck 2 Fore - XO's Quarters:

T'Varik knelt on the mat, fingers clasped around the mandala as it rested on her lap, and she stared into the still candle flame before her, the only illumination in the room. She pictured each step of her strengthening process as a layer of liquid, poured into a wide, shallow basin, the liquid spreading out, finding equilibrium as it settled and became still, before she added another, and then another. And as she did so, she could feel herself growing calmer, more serene. It would be successful. It would be-

"Hey!"

The mental image of the water rippled at the interruption from the intruder into her quarters, and her mind. Without looking up, she announced, "I had placed a privacy lock on my door."

"I know, and it was cute that you thought that would stop the Chief of Security." C'Rash strolled in, looking curious and concerned. "I thought you were going to wait until I got here, so we could mindmeld and meditate together."

T'Varik gathered her meagre scraps of discipline together. "That will not be happening anymore. I must sever our relationship."

The black-furred Caitian female's tail swished, blowing out of the candle on the floor between them. "Excuse me?"