Surefoot 05: Secrets & Lies Ch. 01

The admission was the last thing Sasha expected. She recalled the nasty, cutting remark she had made to Kami when they were fighting, and had hoped the woman would have forgotten it. And if she hadn't, that the woman would have denied it.

Kami lowered her arm as she proceeded. "I love him. I love him in a way I haven't since my late husband. In fact, I love him so much that I have to bury those feelings and remain his Counselor, because he needs me more in that role than as a partner, where I can't remain professional and objective..." Then her expression softened. "No one else but T'Varik knows this... and probably your Dad, too. Now you have something more to hold over me, if you wish."

She drew closer to Sasha, her expression sober. "Now... there's just one more important thing to clear up. The most important thing, really. I hope you're listening."

Sasha swallowed, clueless as to what it was, but certain that whatever it is, she deserved it.

Then Kami drew her into a strong, tender, affectionate embrace, holding her tightly, whispering, "I love you, too, sweetheart. I know it's partly because of your father. But mostly it's because you're such a remarkable young woman in your own right. You bring out the mother in me. And I promise that love for you will never, ever change, no matter what is said or done between us. I will always be here for you: as friend, as Counselor, even as a surrogate mother. Whatever you need. I just want you to know that."

The gesture, as strong and pure as it was surprising, swept up Sasha.

And she embraced it, as she embraced the older woman, allowing her bottled feelings over the last fortnight to gush out of her, as she shook with sobs.

*

Deck 4, Security Office/Brig:

Like most everything else on the Surefoot, the ship's security team was small, consisting of Lt. Abed, Ensign Gorman, and the three squads' Security Specialists: Alpha Squad's Crewman Neraxis Nemm, Beta Squad's Crewman Atiaro Thykrill, an Andorian female, and Gamma Squad's Gleqom Orogg, a Saurian male. They were collecting phasers and belts and undergoing nominal safety procedures.

Then Abed looked up. "Can I help you, Cadet Daughter-of-Kaas?"

Eydiir straightened up as she stood in the doorway. "The surname is an administrative measure, Lieutenant, and not one I employ; Cadet Eydiir will suffice. The medical records of the crew of the Beholder has identified among them a carrier of Type-D Synthococcus Novae, a potentially lethal bacillus strain that requires additional booster shots for each of us before we interact with them." She indicated the medical bag slung under one arm. "I am here to administer the shots."

Abed shrugged. "You heard the cadet, kids. Line up."

Eydiir prepared the shots and proceeded, while Neraxis waited and asked, "Have you seen Sasha anywhere?"

"She is in Intensive Care."

"WHAT?"

"She is having a private talk with Counselor Kami while the latter is stationed there during the Red Alert."

The Bolian grunted. "Lead with that next time, okay?"

"There was also a potential altercation between Giles and Jared Miro in the Rec Room."

"Oh? And what did that mouthy little Argelian prick do this time?"

Beside her, Thykrill frowned. "Hey, Jared's my Squad Leader!"

"You have my condolences," Neraxis assured her.

Both women faced each other now, the Andorian's antennae swivelling towards Neraxis as she challenged, "You want to get on the mats and sort this out, Bolian?"

"Power down, or give me back those phasers," Abed commanded. "What's up with you two anyway?"

Beside them, Orogg, a Saurian with a distended lavender reptilian head and huge round hazel eyes, regarded them with amusement. "Maybe there's only room for one blue-skinned female Security Specialist on this ship?"

"Jared Miro claimed to have had sex with Sasha during our field exercise on Luntanu," Eydiir informed them. "A lie, obviously."

Now Thykrill faced her. "Why 'obviously', Capellan? Why take her word over his? They were all over each other long before Luntanu."

Eydiir frowned and drew closer. "Because Sasha is my best friend, Andorian, and would not lie to me. Now extend your arm." As Thykrill did so, Eydiir pressed the hypospray into the other girl's bicep and continued, more confidentially, "It is true she was enamoured of him - at first. Then she discovered he wasn't truly interested in her, but only in having sex with as many different races as he can. It's a hobby for him, collecting... trophies. Any woman unfortunate enough to fall for his charms will soon find themselves in a similarly exploited position."

Thykrill tensed, her expression changing from hostile to... shock?

Then Eydiir understood. "I'm... sorry."

"What?" Neraxis asked, looking between the two of them, before focusing on Thykrill. "You've been with him?"

"Shut up," the Andorian muttered, turning away.

*

Deck 4, Sickbay Intensive Care Unit:

Sasha and Kami were sitting on the floor of the room, out of sight of Dr Ling, though the Chief Medical Officer had stopped knocking on the window trying to get their attention.

Sasha stared ahead at the base of the biobed in front of them. Her voice was hoarse, her eyes and mind weary from speaking about her experiences witnessing the execution of Alexander Giger. "I forced myself to keep watching. I didn't want to. But I had let myself get so worked up, so bloodthirsty about it. Now that I didn't want to see it, I made myself. How screwed up is that?"

Kami nudged the girl's shoulder. "I've heard worse. And I'd be more worried for you if you didn't feel like this." After a moment, she added, "You were right, when we fought. If I had the chance to see the killers of my husband executed, I might have accepted it. You... you should never have been given the temptation. No one could resist it."

"Dad did."

Kami blew a raspberry. "Don't get me started on how wonderful your father is." Then she asked, "How did you feel after you returned to the shuttle?"

Sasha tilted her head to rest on the Caitian's shoulder. "I threw up. I threw up until there was nothing left in me, and then I threw up some more. Dad held my hair out of the way, and Giles got me some water. I lay down. I felt numbed, anaesthetised. Hating myself for being a part of all that, even if I had changed my mind at the end. I wanted to feel something different." She swallowed. "Giles came in. He was worried about me, wanted to know if I needed anything. So... we made love."

Kami smiled to herself. "I think he would have been happy just to get you a cup of tea. How did he react?"

"He- He was really nice. Gentlemanly. He wanted to make sure I was in my right mind, didn't want to take advantage of me. I convinced him otherwise." She smirked. "He... He didn't take much convincing."

Kami chuckled. "How was it?"

Sasha continued to stare ahead. "Good - once we stopped trying to do it on the bunk and moved to the floor. Then I messed up after that, and kept messing up. I started getting scared about how we would act towards each other afterwards. Was he going to profess his undying love to me? Was I going to profess it to him? And when Dad told us he'd heard us, I couldn't talk to Giles about it. I was hoping to when we got back and had some privacy. But then the Squad worked out what we had done. And I panicked, and told them it had all been a terrible mistake. Giles took that personally."

"Do you blame him for that?"

Sasha shook her head. "When I went after him, I found he'd gotten into a fight with Jared, because Jared had claimed he'd slept with me. And it felt like Giles had made himself my boyfriend and was defending my honour."

"Or... Giles just wanted to punch Jared because Jared is very punchable."

Sasha made an amused sound. "Why can't I just stop myself and straighten things out calmly with Giles?"

Kami shrugged. "Maybe because it's not straight with yourself? Maybe you do have feelings for him that you haven't faced?"

Sasha started to protest - then thought better of it. "I like him. He's matured since we first met. He's supported me, listened to me when I needed someone. And he really opened up to me on our way to Tau Beta. I don't regret him being my first - better him than Jared, now that I know the truth about the creep - but I'm mixed up about if I want to make sex a part of our relationship.

And there are conflicts of interest there when you're partnered with someone who reports directly to you, potential problems if we end up arguing, factors that can hurt the group. That's not fair on them. I wouldn't want that. I know he wouldn't, either." She shook her head. "I don't know what to say to him."

"Everything you said just now sounded pretty good to me."

Sasha looked to her. "You think?"

Kami nodded. "And you know, Giles is probably feeling much of what you're feeling now, not knowing how to treat your relationship. And... he may have ongoing issues that have nothing to do with the two of you, that could be distracting him."

"What sort of issues?"

"The sort of issues that are none of your business, young lady," Kami scolded good-naturedly. She patted her on the leg. "Now, according to the status panel up there, we are out of Red Alert, and have no reason to hang around in here. Let's get back to our preferred places before Dr Ling has Security phaser their way in here."

*

Deck 2, Alpha Squad Quarters:

T'Varik used her command override and entered the rooms, proceeding directly to the sleeping quarters. With the Surefoot on its way to the coordinates of the freighter Beholder, she had arranged for the three squads to keep busy for the next several hours readying the hangar and cargo bays for emergency triages, preparing the shuttles for possible evacuation, and arming and equipping the Security Teams for potential hostile responses. Mr Arrington and the rest of his squad was engaged.

It did not take long for her to locate Mr Arrington's case - and the communicator, buried beneath some civilian clothes. She paused, inwardly studying the five microsecond emotional response she had just experienced at having this confirmed, before returning the case and rising. It was predominately disappointment in the furtive behaviour of Mr Arrington and his family, with a focused measure of criticism towards the more experienced members of Starfleet as opposed to the cadet. She also noted a five-percent focus of self-recrimination for not detecting such a possibility as this, and resolved to examine it later in her meditations-

T'Varik slid the communicator into the pocket of her jacket as the door to the quarters slid open, and Sasha entered, startled by the presence of the First Officer. "Commander! What are you doing here?"

The Vulcan took a moment, mentally assessing the ethics behind her current assignment: she had no moral qualms about lying when in the performance of her duties, but she did have... reservations... about lying to Sasha, particularly given her emotional entanglement with Giles. So she chose deflection rather than deception. "You are currently on suspension. You should be in your quarters. Where have you been?"

"At Sickbay, with Kami, talking." She ran her hands though her hair. "It's exhausting, and I have an increased number of sessions with her for a while. But she says she will recommend that you drop the suspension."

T'Varik nodded. "I welcome your return. Get into uniform immediately and report to the bridge. There will be a meeting at 0730 Hours in the Briefing Room before our rendezvous with the Beholder. You and the other Squad Leaders will attend."

Sasha hesitated before replying, "Yes, Ma'am."

As she entered the sleeping quarters for her uniform, T'Varik considered departing then, before pausing and asking, "Is there something bothering you, Sasha?"

From the other room, she called back, "I don't want to trouble you with anything if you're busy, Commander."

"I believe my earlier offer to be available to you is still valid, and we will be otherwise engaged later."

"Oh, okay... Um, have you ever, uh... been with a co-worker?"

T'Varik breathed in. "Perhaps for the sake of efficiency we can dispense with the euphemisms? Are you asking if I have had sex with a colleague?"

Sasha popped her head out of the doorway, her face flushed. "I, ah, know that Vulcans don't like talking about sex-"

"That is a common generalisation. Vulcans of certain families in certain regions of my world are known for their reticence in discussing sex, particularly with humans, who tend towards the prurient with this subject matter - no offence intended."

"None taken. Well, I suppose if you only feel desire once every seven years, you don't get a chance to talk much about it."

"Another generalisation. It is true that the Pon Farr is a biological imperative which resurges in Vulcans every seven years, we also feel sexual desire more regularly, just as we do hunger, sleep and other life processes.

And the answer to your question is Yes. Four years ago I entered into a relationship with another instructor at Starfleet Academy. As we found ourselves physically and intellectually compatible, she and I remained lovers for the following 1.76 Standard Years."

"She?"

"Yes. I prefer females. And I would prefer to keep her identity confidential."

"Of course, I just- don't Vulcans get betrothed to mates when they're children?"

"Yet another generalisation; I must consider creating a course to dispel such cultural myths. Many aristocratic families still practice childhood betrothals, but the majority of Vulcans consider it an archaic practice. We meet partners much the same way as other races, and should we be unattached while approaching Pon Farr."

"Oh. And, uh, was it difficult, with you two working together?"

"No. However, she was not under my direct command, and I am of course able to maintain a professional demeanour. It may have been more difficult for us if we were both human, and I was her direct supervisor. Such relationships do occur, but they are generally considered unwise. The senior partner can be at risk of accusations of discrimination, both for and against their partner. And any contention between the partners can have an adverse effect on the working group at large."

Sasha emerged, fully dressed. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Thank you, Commander."

"I hope I have been of some assistance."

"Yes... though I don't suppose you ever promised that I'd like the outcome, did you?"

"One can never make such promises."

"No.... one can't."

TO BE CONTINUED...