Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Micah watched the door nervously. 'I shouldn't have done it,' he thought. Two weeks puttering around a vacant apartment while all his roommates were away for the Christmas holiday had been too much. It had been a sex starved one man orgy of gay porn and masturbation. But even when he came eight times in a single day watching the crap, it was not enough. He might not have been able to get his dick up for even one more quick jerk-off, but he was empty and unfulfilled.

Why had he clicked on that advertisement for the smart phone application that boasted it would locate dozens of horny, gay men in your neighborhood? The damned thing had too. After a lifetime of denying who he was, he had been surprised at the number of gay men right in his backyard as it were. It was not as if he lived in some large metropolitan area. He lived in a Southern military town, for god's sake. Who would have thought?

He had gotten email after email for four days before he had dared to contact anyone. But something about Dan-Oh's profile had appealed to him. Rather than be over-the-top about being gay, it read more like a social media site. The guy liked to watch football, but preferred to play baseball. He drank Corona beer and had never taken up the nasty habit of smoking. And like Micah, his career meant that he could not share photographs that included his face, but he was not butt ugly, he promised.

Micah had allowed his unfulfilled desires to override his staunch religious upbringing and concerns for his career. It was a first for him. But why? Sure, the guy's naked pic was hot. Six pack abs, a tight ass, and long, lean limbs. But it was probably more what he had written than the photograph. The guy sounded so...normal. So like him.

Micah cringed when the door opened and Jason Davenport walked into the dinky country bar. So much for meeting this mystery man, there was no way that he could do it with the young officer around. But perhaps it was all for the best anyway. Even after struggling with his buried desires for a decade, Micah was not sure he was really ready to take this final step that would brand him as gay in his own mind. It was one thing to fantasize about having sex with another man, it was another to actually do it. He gripped his mug and stared down into its amber liquid as the man approached.

"Hello, Sergeant. Mind if I join you?" smiled the handsome blond man that was not his commanding officer.

"Sure, sir," he mumbled as he dismissed the possibility of any clandestine meeting this night. He would need to find some way to text his apologies to the other man. Or maybe just let it go altogether. Let the man think that he had changed his mind, he thought as Lieutenant Davenport took the seat next to his and gave the pretty waitress his order.

Micah smiled and flirted a bit with the woman as he ordered another, "Bud," said the Lieutenant. Micah frowned at the man. How did he know that?

"Thank you, sugar," smiled Micah as she walked away giving an extra swish to her tight jean-clad bottom. "Pretty girl," he said as he drained the last of his beer. It was the truth, even if she did not appeal to him.

"Not my type," mumbled the young officer.

Something about the man's deep blue eyes seemed to see straight into Micah's soul, stripping away his carefully crafted layers of lies. Micah shrugged as he toyed with his mug, "So did you draw the short stick? Pull holiday duty this duty?"

"Nope, I volunteered. I haven't been close to my family in years, so why keep some family schmuck stuck on base when I have no where better to be," he smiled cordially as the woman put their drinks on the table.

She lingered a bit over Micah's, bending low enough that he could see down her low-cut t-shirt that had the name of the bra written across her large breasts. He looked away. The woman would likely read it as being a gentleman, not its true meaning: disinterest, disgust. When he finally did look up, it was into those all-knowing eyes and a broad smile.

"Not as pretty as you like to pretend, Sergeant," the man held his gaze as he lifted the bottle of Corona to his lips. Micah felt it like the kick from the horse on his grandfather's farm. Then like now, he had seen something he wanted and foolishly allowed his wants to override common sense. But he had been nine then. Twenty years later and he was just as foolish it seemed.

The man chuckled, "So, M-Gunny, it finally clicked? I was wondering if it would."

Micah stared at the dark wood of the table, uncertain what to say. On one hand, this man was an officer and while 'don't ask, don't tell' no longer applied, he knew damned good and well that homophobia was still an issue in the military, especially in special operations units like theirs, where macho was a way of life. On the other hand, did this man not have as much or even more to loose?

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not telling anybody and I hope like hell that I can count on you not to either," said the man as if reading his thoughts. Micah nodded as he brought the mug to his lips, draining it in a single chug.

"Want another?" asked the Lieutenant. Micah knew that he should cut his losses, leave now that they had agreed to keep one another's secrets.

But he couldn't. He had been right, this man was like him. Yet he had obviously found a way to accept himself, something that Micah had not. And he wanted to find out more about this man. "Yeah, thanks, Lieutenant."

"Not tonight. Not now. Jason will do fine," he said as he waved for the waitress. They sat in silence as she brought another round of drinks. Every time that Micah looked up though, it was to find those intense eyes upon him, as if taking his measure. When the woman walked away, Jason asked, "A virgin?"

Micah sputtered beer across the table. The Lieutenant cleaned it up with the napkins and chuckle. "I didn't mean like that. I started fucking girls when I was thirteen. I guess I thought if I screwed enough of them then I wouldn't be attracted to boys anymore."

Micah nodded as he looked at the man across the rim of his glass, "I guess it didn't work?"

A broad smile made the man even more handsome than he already was. "It never does, just so you know. What about you? How long have you known? That you are gay that is."

Micah shrugged and looked at the table, "I don't know. I'm still not sure that I am, I suppose. I mean like you guessed I haven't actually done anything," he whispered.

"You think that not having sex means you aren't gay? So does that mean that nuns and priests aren't heterosexual? Just because they don't have sex?"

Micah shook his head, "But this doesn't work like that. I mean just because I like a certain kind of porn doesn't make me," he trailed off.

Jason shrugged and then waved to the waitress. Micah thought perhaps he would order another round of drinks, but instead he handed her his credit card and told her to clear their tab. When he had finished signing, he drained his bottle and stood up. He was tall, had at least four inches upon Micah's five foot ten and a half. But now he towered over him, making him feel small, inconsequential. "If you want to finally find out?" Those eyes burned into Micah, "My car is outside. It is the only Mustang in the lot. I'll wait five minutes. No more."

Micah watched him go. He looked over at the bar, where the waitress was leaning over, showing more of her cleavage as she chatted with another woman and waited for her next order. He knew that he could score with her. Just like he always had. But it would be no better than watching gay porn and jerking off for two weeks. No more satisfying to close his eyes and pretend that she was someone else. Besides he doubted that even his imagination could transform her curvy, petite body into long, lanky muscles that begged to be touched and explored.

Question was...did he have the courage to find out...as the Lieutenant asked. As he had been asking himself for a decade. He looked at the door and back to the bar. It was a moment of truth and he knew it.