Swan Song

Brooke and I smiled at the image of the literary master being the bedroom master as well. What a weekend this was turning out to be...

We gathered some of the wives for the trip to the Midtown North precinct. I had seen enough episodes of Law and Order on TV that I was not surprised by the scene. Almost all the legal issues could be taken care of with my autograph on a check except for one, it seemed that Huedogg was still having issues with Pete, and they had to be placed into separate cell areas. One by one I greeted the Literitoca commentators as they were released and they thanked me for bailing them out. Incarceration turned out to be a very sobering experience for most.

I watched Brooke go up to Pete and wrap her slender arms around his body and pull him in tight. She attacked his mouth with a kiss that last night at the bar I would have died for, before pulling back to stare into his eyes. She mouthed, "I missed you." over the roar of the police station.

Not surprising to me, as I intently stared at them, I was emotionally at conflicted with their reconciliation. Brooke really did love Pete and it was clearly evident in her eyes and body language. I tried my best to accept this in my heart and silently vowed to find my own special someone. Seeing them together, I knew after almost fifty years that I was finally ready.

I shook Pete's hand and looked him in the eye with only an ounce of shame. I never touched his wife. Sure, I lusted after her and masturbated to her image in my mind, and possibly even fell in love with her, but I was certain that I was not the first to fall for the beautiful Brooke Jones, and I probably would not be the last.

And Pete, I knew from his comments on Literotica, was a smart man. I'm certain that Pete understood these were the pitfalls of being married to a stunningly beautiful woman. Even the most honorable men were going be attracted to a unique woman like Brooke and inquire about her status and fidelity.

And the truth is...she never gave into temptation. And the mere fact somewhere inside her... that maybe she even gave me the slightest fleeting consideration was an incredible boost to my self esteem. It gave me hope.

"Brunch is at 11:30am and I hope you will be there!" I shouted to the commentators and their wives as they flagged taxis back to the Waldorf. Standing off to the side of me looking lost was a delicate little Japanese flower, Huedogg's wife.

"My....husband?" she asked me, her English a still developing skill.

"Come on..." I motioned with my hand.

Ten minutes later, Huedogg's wife and I were sitting across from him...

"Hey! If you get me out of here I'll kill that son of a bitch Pete. He's an asshole."

For a fleeting second, the thought of Dogg taking care of business had some appeal but I quickly dismissed it...

"Dogg, I don't expect you to hold hands with the man and sing 'Kumbaya,' but can't you at least tolerate each other for another day?'

"Fuck that...I'd rather stay in jail. If you bail me out, I'm going after him!"

"Dogg, I can't let that happen. I'm friends with his wife and she'd be crushed. Are you sure we can't work something out?"

The solution was relatively simple. His wife would retrieve their luggage from the Waldorf, I would pay his fines, and a police car would drive them to JFK for the first flight back to Tokyo. I was able to arrange this because lots of police officers are big readers of the Literotica website. Huedogg has his fans in the NYCPD.

Watching Huedogg and his bride together on the sidewalk outside the precinct was like looking at beauty and the beast. They were a happy couple as she tried to wrap her arms around his waist. Dogg was a big man and she was just a tiny little thing. The laws of love and attraction and compatibility are beautiful and unique to each individual. Before, I would never have pictured this couple together. Seeing them laugh and communicate in Japanese, I could now not picture them apart.

Huedogg came over and gave me a bear hug, "Great fun, man. Thanks for inviting us."

"Glad you could come, and I'm sorry about Pete."

"Hey...that's life. Here's my card. I'm serious about this, my wife and I really want you to come visit us in Tokyo. I know a lot of nice women that would like to meet you. Really good sushi!" He winked.

"Ah Dogg, I could never measure to a man like you with the ladies."

"People and their stereotypes really crack me up sometimes," he joked, "However, in this case it happens to be absolutely true!" And he let out this huge laugh... "Besides, my wife just told me... rumor has it that you've got nothing to worry about..."

"Your wife barely speaks any English, how..."

"You don't know much about women do you? Word travels fast, my man..."

A final handshake and we said our goodbyes, and then Huedogg and his wife climbed into the back of the police cruiser and were off to the airport. I flagged a taxi and made it back to the Waldorf by 11am. I had only had half an hour to get cleaned up for brunch.

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I stood up and tapped my spoon on my water glass at 11:30am in the small banquet room. A very nice spread of food was lined up to my left, but I needed to address the troops. A couple minutes of thought in the shower had provided my inspiration. I would simply channel my best Bill Murray from the movie "Stripes." I cleared my throat and altered my voice...

"We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Literotica readers, writers and commentators. We're perverts with a capital P! Do you know what that means? We all get off to varying degrees to reading porn. "

"We're all different in our own way, but that's OK. Me? I'm a forty nine year old virgin...how sick and sad is that? You may be a willing cuckold, or a husband that was cheated on, or a slut who likes a 12 inch cock...who cares? We are all mutants. There's something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us...we're perverts. But we're all part of the Literotica family. So let's come together and at least tolerate each other for the next day. Make me proud..."

I saw a couple of people nod their heads and heard one man whisper to his wife, "Screw that...I hate cucks." But overall, I said what needed to be said. I did what I could...

"Now," I continued, "After brunch for the men, or women if you are interested, we are providing three entertainment options this afternoon. First, for the golfers, there will a van at 12:45pm going to Bethpage Black on Long Island. Arrangements for clubs, shoes and tee times have been made..."

"Second, for baseball fans, there is a van leaving at 1pm for the new Yankee stadium and we have access to luxury box seats. The Cleveland Indians are in town."

"Third, if you are interested in museums or matinee Broadway shows, Girard the concierge, has front row tickets. Just see him in the lobby after you are finished eating..."

"For the ladies, upon exiting you will be handed a one thousand dollar Visa gift card to go shopping."

"We will all meet back here at 8pm for dinner and the awards presentation. But for now, have a great afternoon and be safe."

I was munching on a salad when one of the husbands came up to me and started engaging me in a very quiet conversation. I will not say who it was...

"Strapper, are you really a virgin?"

"Yes."

"I would like to offer you my wife. I'm asking, no, I'm begging you to fuck her."

"Well..."

"I want you the fuck the shit out of her...please? I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg if it pleases you."

"Why? Why would you do that? Do you have an ED problem? I'm sure I could rustle up some of those little blue pills..."

"Oh no! My dick works just fine...it's just that...she would really get off on fucking a virgin...and I...well...I would..."

"....really get off on watching me fuck her." I said, finishing the sentence for him.

"Yes!"

"And is that all?"

"No...the possibility of me eating a cream pie from my wife...virgin's cum... Jesus, I'm gonna be hard all day!"

"Sorry, my friend, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Your fantasy is not my fantasy. I do, however, think Girard has tickets to the ballet this afternoon if that interests you..."

The man walked away with a forlorn expression on his face, and I no longer felt the urge to munch on my salad. My appetite simply disappeared. It was time to practice what I preached. I smiled to myself about the conversation, marveling at our differences. Tolerance can be a beautiful thing.

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At 12:40pm as I prepared to get in the van to go golfing, I noticed at all the women were still mulling around the small banquet room. Brooke and Carol were instructing the wait staff to arrange the tables in a circular formation.

I walked over to them. "What gives? Why aren't you ladies out shopping? Carol, perhaps after last night your husband might enjoy a little leather..."

"Oh...you're very full of yourself, aren't you?" Carol laughed.

"Did you think we forgot about you?" Brooke asked. "We girls are going to brainstorm and try to come up with some possibilities for you. Remember? A wife... Twenty five heads are better than two..."

"Maybe I should just look in a catalog...that's it...a mail order bride," I joked.

"Very funny. We're taking this seriously and I hope you are, too. Now, do you have any special requests as we try to profile your future wife? What kind of woman are you looking for?"

"Go look in the mirror, Brooke, and I'm very serious about that!"

"You almost had your chance..."

"Do either one of you ladies know anything about cloning?" I asked.

"Be serious. Talk to us. We're trying to help you!" The sincerity in Brooke's voice amazed me.

"OK...OK...what I want is very simple...First, honest and faithful, second, no smoking or drugs, third, and I know this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but my heart must leap in my chest like it does whenever I'm with you, Brooke. It is truly the most amazing feeling, and yes, it's better than an orgasm...in fact, it's like this constant orgasmic buzz just being around you, Brooke. Find another woman who does that to me and everything else is negotiable..."

Brooke just stood there blushing as Carol said, "My, my Jerry. You've got it real bad..."

"I'm OK...what is it, Carol? Is it chemical? Magnetic? Cosmic?"

"Well..."

"My chest is literally vibrating... Is it simple attraction or lust? Help me out here Carol..."

"It's love, Jerry, it has to be love..."

"Oh...well, I guess I'm fucked then...because Brooke loves Pete...so I guess I'll go whack some golf balls to take my mind off of what I can't have." I turned to leave...

"Wait, Jerry!" Brooke cried out, "I'm so sorry but I'll find that special someone for you. I promise I will do everything I can! Damn, I can't believe that I could have such an effect on a man..."

"Men are broken by women like you and men kill because of women like you, Brooke."

"I have a solution, Jerry," Carol deadpanned, "We'll just take you on a world tour and have you stand by every unmarried woman on the planet. That should leave about 1.28 billion possibilities. If we check out every single one of those women and still no one gives you that feeling like Brooke, then she'll tell Pete and you two can have duel or something..."

I knew Carol was trying to bring a little levity to a suddenly very charged conversation. I decided to play along with her.

"Well, I'm sure that Pete would enjoy using his skills on me."

Brooke was sadly shaking her head, "No...."

"Or....I could just tell your husband about OUR little tryst last night, Carol!" I winked at her...

"Hell, he'd divorce me, and even if he didn't, I don't think I could take another pounding like last night," Carol laughed.

Brooke's head rose up with a fierce determined look on her face, "Let's go, Carol. We have work to do!"

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Suddenly, I no longer had the immediate desire to golf; instead deciding to stick around for a couple of minutes to see what would happen with the ladies. I pretended to go out to the van but then doubled back. I could always catch a cab out to Long Island later if necessary.

The double doors to the small banquet room were closed but I snuck a peek inside. Brooke and the ladies sat around the outside a circle of tables. It was like the United Nations of Wives, and Brooke was playing the part of Ban Ki-Moon, Secretary General.

"We are here to find a wife for our host. He's a very special man. You have seen him around...physically he's tall, fit, strong and attractive. Age wise he is almost 50. He obviously has money. Personality wise, he's very shy but funny once he feels comfortable around you. He's kind and caring and generous. Sexually, we all heard him announce that he's a virgin, but I feel quite comfortable in saying that my sources tell me that he is more than equipped to please any woman... Do we know of any women who might be interested in him?"

It was the proudest day of my life when four of the wives raised their hands and simultaneously said "Me!"

Wow! Someone actually wanted me!

"Ah...ladies... sluts...YOU'RE MARRIED!" Brooke practically shouted.

There was a murmur throughout the room. One by one the wives spoke up...

"So what? I'm looking to trade up. Hell, my husband begs me to fuck other guys every night. I want a normal man."

"My husband's so paranoid...I've never cheated on him...but he still has a camera on me when I go to the bathroom. He sews listening devices into my bras. I can't live like this anymore."

"My husband hasn't had a job in five years...all he does is sit at the computer and jack off. I'm tired of working two jobs and doing all the housework!"

"My husband hasn't touched me in ten years. I'm sick of dildos and vibrators. I want the real thing."

Brooke and Carol looked shell shocked; they had not expected this kind of response. Carol spoke up to try and take control of the room...

"Ladies, I think our host is looking for a single gal, someone who is honest and faithful, someone who doesn't smoke or use drugs and someone who is not a gold digger! Does anybody have any friends or family that could possibly qualify?"

Again there was a murmur throughout the room but no one spoke up...until...

"What about me?" spoke a voice from an angle that I couldn't see through the crack in the door way.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Laurel, I run the Literotica website and I'm the main story editor."

"How come we're just meeting you? Why weren't you at the dinner last night?" Brooke asked.

"Unfortunately, we had some server issues that needed addressed...and people get very pissed off when I delay posting stories, both readers and writers alike..."

Carol spoke, "It's my understanding from my husband that you have a husband or partner, Manny something?"

"Manu, and yes, he is my partner, my business partner. We were an item at one time, but..."

"Go on, Laurel..."

"I have a full time job as an editor plus I've been so busy trying to build this website at night, trying to make a career out of it...that I haven't actually been on a date in about two years..."

"How old are you?

"Thirty five."

"And why would you be interested in a guy who is almost a whole generation older than you?"

"What single woman isn't looking for a good faithful man these days? From your description, he seems like a catch. Plus, I've read his stories. He's no HDK, not even close, but at least he can write a complete sentence. And besides, from reading his stories I get the feeling he may have a bit of a kinky side. I like that combination, faithful and kinky..."

"Anything else you want to add, Laurel?"

"I read dozens of sex stories everyday for my job and I have for years. I've got some pretty weird shit flowing around in my head, and quite frankly I'm looking to take a step back and be normal. I mean, how many stories can you read about daddy fucking his 18 year old high school daughter or the world's most innocent white wife suddenly worshiping a 15 inch black cock before it all begins to effect you. I'm looking for a man that can be a partner and a provider and allow me move into a more managerial position within the website."

"Have you ever cheated on any boyfriend?"

"Never. And I never would. I've always broken up with them before I moved on to someone else...but then again I really haven't had that many boyfriends. I guess most men find me fairly plain. Manu was the only one who I was ever in love with..."

I almost felt sorry for the poor woman. Carol was grilling her pretty hard. It almost seemed like a job interview. But then I reminded myself that they were looking after my best interest... Unfortunately, I couldn't see her, couldn't see what she looked like...

Brooke and Carol exchanged glances.

"Laurel, can you stand up for me...now spin around."

Brooke and Carol started whispering to each other...and I couldn't hear.

"So, Laurel, if we could arrange a date with Jerry tonight after the banquet, would you be interested?"

"Absolutely."

"OK then ladies, our business is now concluded. It's time for a little shopping before we hit the spa," Brooke announced, holding up the gift cards. A cheer went up throughout the room and I hustled out to the street to catch a cab. I asked the cabbie to take me to the best men's clothing store in the city.

Brooke and Carol had taken this seriously. Out of respect for their concern, the least I could do is look my best for my date with Laurel. I could hit a little white dimpled ball anytime...

A short time later, Carol called me to let me know I had a date for after the banquet. I guess they hadn't seen me peeking in after all.

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"You look absolutely dashing!" That was Brooke's assessment. "I'm jealous..."

"Don't tease me, Brooke, I'm not that strong." My heart was doing cartwheels.

It was two hours before the banquet and the guys had not returned from golfing or the baseball game. I had asked Brooke to come up to the penthouse suite to make sure I was presentable for the evening.

I had spared no expense on this suit. I had asked the owner of the shop what suits Donald buys, and then I purchased a better one. "Take that!" I thought to myself. I was feeling frisky.

Brooke assured me that my date was getting the full treatment, hair, nails, dress, shoes...the works.

"I think you'll be very pleased, she's a lovely girl," Brooke declared, and then she showed me the long purple gown she purchased for the banquet and my shoulders slumped.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?"

"I truly hope Pete realizes what a lucky man he is..."

"He does, I think. But he doesn't always show me or tell me. That's what happens when you've been married for a long time," Brooke lamented.

"If I was your husband, and you had bought that gown for me, I feel certain that we might be a little late for the banquet...and leave a little early."

"Perhaps you should have a talk with Pete about not taking me for granted..."

"And say what? 'Say...Pete, ole buddy... Since you don't show her enough appreciation, how about giving me your wife for the rest of your life?' I'd be dead. He'd be in jail. You'd be alone...for about two seconds."

"You're bad... Right now you need to concentrate on Laurel. Give her a chance..."

"You're absolutely right, Brooke. I'm honored that someone would want to go out with me. So I beg you, please don't get too close to me tonight. You know how you affect me, I've made it clear. Please don't distract me. She deserves that much..."

"Deal. And I need to concentrate on Pete. This weekend was all about reconnecting for us. OK, Jerry, good luck and we'll talk tomorrow morning."