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To anonymous from 2 years ago.
Many authors/writers on this site DO NOT follow the lazy American idioms, many are using proper English as they are taught in language schools were the language is taught as a second or third language. Consider how your sloppy American English sounds and reads to one who was taught English in Australia, Canada or the Caribbean islands, never mind those from countries that have never had English as a primary language.
You need to learn to write your dialog in the same manner as we Americans speak. We say "I don't" most of the time, not "I do not". There is a casualness to the way we speak in normal circumstances, but you seem to prefer stuffy, cramped and uncomfortable speech....it ruins the story for me, and I'm sure a lot of others as well. Just relax, and imagine you're having the conversation yourself as you write.
Now let’s see just how really good this storyline gets..5 stars