Table for Two Ch. 02

Emily just shook her head, not looking away from the computer. Was she sulking? She looked like she didn't sleep last night at all. And she was too quiet, even for Emily.

When Emily noticed Stephanie's look, she threw her an angry gaze, spitting out, "What?"

Stephanie just shrugged and returned to the living room. Maybe Emily was just in a bad mood. Sitting down, she called up Sam.

"Hey Steph." she heard Sam, who then used her full name for some reason, "I mean, Stephanie."

"Hi Sam. I mean, Samantha," Stephanie replied in kind.

"Hi," Sam said in an emotionless voice. Was she still mad?

"Listen Sam, uhh, you've got to tell me about that girl today. I wanna meet her again," Stephanie asked carefully, watching a TV commercial featuring a group of pretty smiling women. Would her girl look like one of them?

"Why?" Sam barked, then added slowly, "I mean, what happened?"

Stephanie remembered Sam's attitude towards her girl. She didn't know what happened between Sam and Steph's girl and didn't want to take her chances.

"Well, she seemed nice, I like her. Can you please tell me who it was?"

"Um, no. Sorry Steph, I can't," Sam said in a reluctant tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Stephanie was getting irritated. She felt so close to her goal, now slipping away.

"I mean, I think she doesn't want to meet you," Stephanie heard Sam say.

"Why? What? No way!" Stephanie exclaimed, becoming frustrated. After all that she had done for the girl, she wouldn't even get to know who it was, "She owes me that much! After-"

"After?" Sam asked curiously, infuriating Stephanie.

"That's not the point! Come on, Sam. Tell me who it was, please, I wanna meet her!"

Several seconds later, Sam replied, "OK. I'll talk to her. If she agrees, I'll tell you, OK? Bye Steph."

"I'll be waiting. Bye," Stephanie said and heard Sam hang up.

Stephanie stared at the TV and continued eating, thinking about the call. This was really weird. She didn't expect Sam to make it so difficult. Why would she not say who it was? Was it really someone Stephanie knew? She frowned. Were they playing with her feelings? Were Sam and the girl sharing a laugh at her expense? This was Stephanie's first lesbian experience. This wasn't a laughing matter. Sam was acting very suspicious.

Stephanie noticed Emily appear in one door and quickly and silently walk over towards the kitchen. Did she hear her talk to Sam?

She finished eating and turned off the TV. Holding her dishes, she entered the kitchen just in time to see Emily taking one of dad's beers from the fridge. There was another empty bottle on the table. Emily never drank at home.

"You gonna drink that?" she asked as she put the plate into the sink.

Emily froze and stared at her for a few seconds.

"What do you care," she replied coldly and opened the beer, then took a big gulp.

"Right," Stephanie resigned and walked out. She got her pajamas and entered the bathroom.

'Is it me or is Emily acting weird tonight too?' she thought as she used the toilet. Living together and being close as they were, Stephanie knew Emily's menstrual cycle. This wasn't that time of the month for her and even then it was different. It must have been something else. She undressed. Throwing the clothing into the hamper, she got a whiff of the smell again. It must have been Emily's clothes. Stephanie had no problem with that, she knew her sister was sexually active, even if she probably mostly did it by herself.

'Wait a sec. Maybe she knows about my date at the club,' she pondered while she entered the shower, starting the water. Finally cleaning her skin with the scented soap felt great and it helped ease her conscience as well, 'Sam is closer to Emily than me. They might have talked about what happened.'

'Right! That must be it! Maybe Emily knows my girl too,' Stephanie thought, eyes closed while washing her hair, 'That's why she's so weird around me. Emily's always been shy about sex. Her sister with a girl would definitely freak her out. Even I'm not sure what to think about that whole thing yet. But I can figure it out. I just need to meet her.'

--

Emily said, "Sam, about that kiss."

She was sitting on her bed, facing the windows, as she continued, "I'm not a lesbian, I really am not."

Sam's call caught her by surprise and Emily only wanted to end the whole affair as quickly as possible.

"I don't know Em, you could've fooled me," Sam said trying to joke, but Emily was far from laughing. Sam continued, "So why'd you do it?"

"I..I can't really tell," Emily said slowly, gripping the phone. She still wasn't sure if Sam understood what Emily did with her sister. She doubted anyone could've resisted kissing Sam in the state she was then. But she had to come up with an excuse. That shameful act never happened, "I was just drunk and desperate and I thought I'd try it. It didn't work for me either."

"How in the hell would that work anyway?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Emily's was trying to focus. But she didn't eat yet and all the alcohol went straight to her blood, clouding her mind. She had to convince Sam to bury the whole thing.

"Please don't tell anybody about it, OK?" Emily pleaded, "Especially Steph. Promise me you won't tell her, ever."

"Yeah, about that," Sam started, "She called me earlier and wanted to know who her date was. Emily, she wants to meet her. You. And she seemed pretty eager too."

Emily was shaking her head in silence. She did hear Stephanie talking to Sam on her phone earlier, but didn't want to accept it. Sam continued, "So did you guys even meet? What really happened at the club?"

"No!" Emily shouted, standing up in rage, "Nothing happened! OK?"

"Well OK, but if nothing happened I might as well tell her it was you, right?" she felt Sam's suspicions behind the joking manner. Her friend wasn't buying it. But the image of Sam telling Stephanie was like a flame in Emily's mind.

"NO!" she screamed, breathing deeply and shaking her head, "She can't ever know! You've got to tell her it was someone else. You've got to, Sam!"

"But who should I say it was?"

"I don't know," Emily replied.

Whatever Sam said, she couldn't tell Stephanie the truth.

"I'm not the cupid, Sam!" Emily continued, "You are. You set up a freaking date between freaking sisters! You come up with an explanation."

Emily jumped when she heard the door closing behind her. Terrified, she quickly hung up on Sam. But it was too late.

She turned around to see Stephanie in her pajamas, looking at her with a cold stare. Emily's eyes were wide in fear as she watched Stephanie, unable to make a sound.

One second of eye contact was enough and Emily knew Stephanie heard everything.

"I-" Emily started. Somehow she still hoped for a miracle.

"You bitch," Stephanie's cold words hit her like a punch in her stomach. Stephanie continued with a trembling lower lip, "It, it was you!"

Emily could only shake her head.

"Oh. My. God!" Stephanie continued, hands in fists as she walked around Emily's bed. Emily slowly backing up towards Stephanie's bed as Stephanie continued, "What did you do? You, you, you raped me!"

'No. Not this. Please.' Emily thought as she saw her furious sister stand next to the desks, fists clenched, a raging expression on her face.

"I- I didn't, know. It was you." Emily stammered at first, then picked up the pace, "You started it! You wanted to fuck me! And you did!"

"I had no choice!" Stephanie responded after a second. She was always better when arguing and Emily's drunk mind stood no chance, "Your hands on my head? Legs around my body? God, to think that I licked you! But I had no choice! You wouldn't let me go. You, you forced me to do it!"

"That was not.." Emily was a loss at words.

"So what was it, huh?" Stephanie stepped forward decisively, shoving Emily's shoulder, "You got off on your sister's touch. And don't try to deny it, you sicko!"

Emily wasn't able to stand up to herself anymore. What Stephanie said was worse than she ever feared, because inside she knew her sister was right.

Emily closed her burning eyes and took the beating, clutching her cellphone with both hands like a lifesaver, shaking her head as Stephanie continued shoving into her, "You fucking pervert. You're disgusting!"

'Just make it stop,' Emily thought. She wanted to escape, but Stephanie was blocking her way between the beds. Stephanie stopped when Emily ran straight for the door across her bed, falling on the ground in front of the door. She picked up her phone and ran through the door.

She finally escaped the hellish room, but still heard Stephanie shout from behind it, "Bitch!"

Emily ran straight for the bathroom sink, dropping her phone on its side. She barely closed the door when the retching started. She only vomited a bit, but kept coughing for a long time, spitting stomach acid, her tears flowing. When her body finally stopped convulsing, she collapsed on the bathroom floor, exhausted, breathing erratically between sobs.

The weight of what happened fell on her again. Her body was twitching as she continued crying, sitting in a bundle on the cold tiles. Her hair was a mess and all of her joints and muscles were hurting, but the physical pain was nothing compared to what she felt inside.

'Stephanie is right. I raped her. I got off on raping my own sister,' she thought while sniffling, staring at the bluish bathroom tiles, 'I'm a sick, disgusting pervert.'

She closed her eyes and started hitting the back of her head against the wall tiles.

'Stephanie hates me and I deserve it.'

Her sister's words were constantly in her mind.

You raped me.

Her sister would hate her forever. She should. Emily heard how victims of rape suffered, years after the event. Stephanie was the most important person in Emily's life and Emily ruined it, just like she did with everything else.

She grabbed the phone from the sink to dial Sam. Maybe she would understand.

What is wrong with you?

That's what Sam said at the club. She wouldn't understand.

Neither would dad. He was in his own world of meds and alcohol. He loved Stephanie more anyway, he always did.

If only mom was still with them. But mom was gone.

Emily was alone now.

'Just make the pain stop,' she pleaded. Her tears were dry, but she was still sobbing painfully.

--

Stephanie kept tossing around in her bed.

She didn't understand why she attacked her sister. She knew that none of the things she said were true. Emily was the most honest and considerate person she knew. She'd never do anything bad to Stephanie, or anyone else. She even said she didn't know it was Stephanie below the table. Her sister was just a victim of the circumstances, even more so than Stephanie.

When she heard Emily coughing and suffering in the bathroom, she felt her eyes swell up with tears. Emily was very sensitive and Stephanie just went and hurt her in the most horrible way possible. She wanted to hug her sister and beg for forgiveness.

She stood up and started walking towards the door. She stopped midway, then returned to her bed. If she busted into the bathroom now, she'd just make it worse. And she didn't deserve Emily's forgiveness anyway.

Never before was their fighting this bad. But they would make amends, like they always did. Surely her sister wanted for them to make up. Stephanie almost saw it before her eyes. Emily would enter the room in the dark, quietly slipping into her bed so as not to disturb her sister. But Stephanie wouldn't be sleeping. She'd crawl over to Emily's bed and they would hug in the darkness. After a long silence Stephanie would apologize for her terrible attack, begging her sister to forgive her. But Emily would say there was nothing to forgive. That she never believed those words anyway, because deep inside she knew Stephanie didn't mean it.

Picturing that peaceful scene, Stephanie, tired from the day's events, slowly drifted into sleep, not realizing that her sister wouldn't come back at all.

--

Emily stood up slowly, still sobbing. Her head was spinning and she was shaking all over. Steadying herself on the sink, she opened the medical cabinet behind the mirror and grabbed dad's Valium. It was helping him to sleep through Emily's nightmare, maybe it would help Emily too. She gulped a pill. And another one.

The unconsciousness would be a relief now. Emily dreaded the next day. And the one after that.

She looked at the pack of pills again. There were more than a dozen left, enough to do the job, 'Would anyone even miss me?'

'Bitch!' she remembered her sister's voice and cold eyes.

She sat back down on the floor, picking up her phone to write a text. Her sister might hate her, but Emily at least has to say goodbye.

Stephanie, im sorry about what i did to you. Youre right to hate me for it. I wish i could make it good somehow. But i only hurt you.

I cant take this pain anymore. Pls say sorry to dad and sam too.

Goodbye.

Em

Without Emily, this world would be a better place.

--

Author's note: This is not the end of the story.