Taboo: Generations Bk. 02-12

Muh-dear laughed in his face before saying, "You two can stay in the barn with all the other filthy animals, far as I'm concerned." Luckily, Uncle Satchel and Aunt Junie put them up while they were in town.

Dear Diary,

Lissie has been a great comfort to me these past few days. There is a part of me that blames myself for Daddy dying, but it is as Lissie has told me: It was either run or get whupped, and knowing how angry Daddy was at that moment, he probably wouldn't have stopped till I was near death myself. We went for a walk and I took her to where I had hid Avery, Jr's medals. I gave them to Lissie for safe-keeping on account of if Muh-dear ever found out I still had them then she'd destroy them and whup me herself.

Dear Diary,

Monty took me for a ride in his Woodie today, but guess what? He even let me drive it, and I took to it like a bee takes to pollen. He told me that when I move to California I can drive it anytime I want. He is so nice. I understand why Lissie loves him so much. I just wish Muh-dear could see past his color, because then she would know how special he is, too.

Dear Diary,

The wake is this evening. Uncle Satchel and Aunty Junie both have been talking to Muh-dear, and she has agreed to let Lissie and Monty in the house while we take visitors. I'll keep you updated on how things go.

Well, things were strained, to say the least, but we got through it okay. Most of the people who had seen Lissie were surprised to learn she had married, and not just married but married a white man, and not just married a white man but a local white man, and not just a local white man but a Rowan. All of them were pleased that they had moved far away, though. The look on Muh-dear's face was one of pure hatred. I'm sure she could defend it by saying this day was about Daddy and Avery, Jr., but the truth of the matter was that Lissie was getting all the attention, especially when she announced that she was pregnant. She looked directly at Muh-dear when she said this. Muh-dear went to her room and didn't come out the rest of the night.

Dear Diary,

It was a sad day for us all. The clouds were thick and gray, but as Reverend Whitehead finished up his sermon the clouds parted and a ray of sunshine fell upon us for the briefest of moments. I thought to myself that maybe Daddy made it to Heaven after all, but then I heard someone mumble, "Old bastard ain't done enough good to get anywhere near them pearly gates." I was about to turn around and say something in defense of Daddy, but then I realized that whomever said this was probably right.

I spent the remainder of the day with Lissie and Monty, both of whom tried their best to convince me to go back to California with them. Oh, I want to, dear diary; I want to so terribly, but I can't just abandon Muh-dear right now, even though I know life with her will be difficult in the following months. Once I graduate, though ...

Dear Diary,

Lissie and Monty came by today to say their good-byes to me and Muh-Dear. Muh-Dear said, "Ain't no one else gonna be dying anytime soon, so I reckon y'all won't have any reason to come back anytime soon." She then went into her room. Lissie and Monty tried again to talk me into going with them, but I know my place for the time being is right here.

Dear Diary,

Not much going on. I'm just so sad. I miss Avery, Jr., and I even miss Daddy, but most of all I miss Lissie and Monty. I wish I went with them when I had the opportunity to do so.

Dear Diary,

Well, it's been about two weeks since I last held you. I guess today is a good day to fill you with more words from my heart seeing as to how it is my birthday. I am finally eighteen years old. Four more months and I'll be finished with school, and then it's off to Califor-ni-a, as Monty calls it, but before that can happen I am trying to catch up on all the school work I missed the ten days I was out after Daddy died. Lucky for me, my teacher isn't pushing me too hard.

That bitch! That fucking bitch! I can't believe that bitch did what she did!

Oh, Diary,

Why? Why would she do this to me? Does she hate me so much that she wants to see me suffer so? Why would Muh-dear kill—

I had to walk away, dear diary. I had to calm myself before I could continue. I looked back through these pages to find that I never mentioned George. George was my pet rooster, a Rhode Island Red that I've had for three years now. I have no problem eating chicken. I eat it all the time. Muh-dear—you know, Diary, I'm not ever going to call her Muh-dear again. From now on it's just Muh, plain and simple. Anyway, Muh knows that fried chicken is my favorite dish, so when she told me she was going to fry some chicken for my birthday, I was happy; that was one happy thing I could look forward to today. We had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and buttermilk biscuits.

After we finished eating, Muh said, "Boy, I never thought he would taste so good." I asked her what she was talking about, and that's when she told me we had just eaten George. I told her that she was a liar, and she said, "If you don't believe me, go look out back." I went to the chopping block, Diary, and lying on the stump was George's head. I threw up immediately. I heard cackling. I turned to see Muh laughing at me. She said, "I hope he tasted just as good coming up as he did going down." She then told me to get in the kitchen and do the dishes, but I didn't, Diary. I ran to Uncle Satchel and Aunty Junie's house and told them what she did. They tried to comfort me, but there was no comfort to be found.

Uncle Satchel walked me back home. He tried to find out why Muh did what she did, but she told him that he was Daddy's brother, not hers, so far as she was concerned this was none of his damned business. He asked her if she didn't think I had been through enough lately, but she just walked away and went to her room, like she always does. Uncle Satchel hugged me and said he was sorry, then he left. I came up here and began filling your pages with this story, Diary, even as my eyes filled with tears over this ... this atrocity.

The only two people who know you exist, Dear Diary, are me and Lissie. I never told anyone else, especially Muh, which is why I had to slam you shut when she entered my room just now. She's gone, but I guess she felt that she didn't make me suffer enough on my birthday because she said, "I went ahead and did the dishes. That's woman's work, and seeing as to how I am the woman of the house, that's my responsibility. Your responsibility, now that you're eighteen, now that you're an adult, is to do your daddy's part around this house, seeing as to how you're the one who killed him. And just so you know what that means, you don't go back to school the rest of this year. It's planting season. You're needed on the farm." Before I could even begin to protest this, she turned to walk away, but she stopped and said, "When I say you take up his slack, I mean all of it!" Then she was gone.

Dear Diary,

What I just experienced was something so ghoulish that I am afraid to even write it down for fear that it may damn me forever in the eyes of the Lord, but I need to tell someone, dear diary, and you are my only confidant, so who better?

I awoke mere hours after the scene in my bedroom with Muh telling me that I had to do Daddy's part around the farm. When I awoke, however, it was to the feeling of a crushing weight on my face and chest. It took me a moment to realize what was happening, but I soon discerned that Muh was sitting on my chest and she had placed her—Oh, Dear God, Diary. Why? Why would she place her vagina on my mouth? And she was cussing me out as well, saying, "Eat it. Eat it. Eat that pussy, you filthy bitch." I tried to fight her off, but I just wasn't strong enough. As I lay there trying to fight and trying to scream, a familiar noise reached my ears. It was that same muffled scream that I had heard all those years ago when Muh took Lissie into her room and locked the door, only it was emanating from my own mouth this time. I imagined this was the same kind of fight that must have driven Avery, Jr. away, what made him call Muh "pure evil." After a few minutes she began to tremble and scream, then she stopped, and between deep gulps of breath she told me to lick her pussy clean. I did it, Diary, because I knew if I didn't then she might just stay there all night. Once I finished she got off of me and said, "I guess you're gonna do your daddy's part just fine, but you tell anyone about this I'll kill you."

Dear Diary,

I've been working steady fourteen-hour days for the past few weeks in preparation for planting season. I'm so tired when I get in that it's all I can do to stay awake long enough to eat dinner and get a shower before going to bed. This is Muh's plan, though, I think, to keep me so tired that I can't fight off her advances when she visits me late at night for sex.

Dear Diary,

I finished my chores early today so I tried to have a talk with Muh about my future. I told her that I would stay here until Fall Harvest, but after that I needed to get back to school because it still wasn't too late for me to get a scholarship for college. Muh told me that anything I needed to know could be learned on the farm. She's right to some degree, but I do not want to be on the farm. I have higher aspirations. Besides, I want to go to California to be with Lissie, Monty, and their upcoming baby. In their most recent letter, Lissie told me that they had already decided to call the baby by the nickname of "Larva" whether it's a boy or a girl. That made me smile as it was one of the few nice things I have heard in a while.

Dear Diary,

I shocked Muh tonight, but I shocked myself even more. After dinner and a shower, and after Muh had gotten her shower, I walked into her room. Muh asked me what I wanted and I told her I was there to do my duty. She looked at me real strange, and I don't know if it was because I was willingly doing this or if I was taking her power over me away from her by initiating it, but whatever the reason, she lay back and spread her legs and I put my mouth on her clitter and she began to sing like an angel as she had her orgasm. I licked her clean, Diary, just like she trained me to do, and I enjoyed every second of it. I think I enjoyed it because it was tender, not rough like it usually was. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted me to do it again and she said yes, so I did. Before I left her room, Muh kissed me on my lips and told me that she loved me. I smiled, but I honestly didn't know how to respond. My own clitter was throbbing. Diary, is it unusual for a woman to have a clitter over two inches long when it gets hard? I ask because Muh's is about the size of a peanut.

Dear Diary,

It's been about a month since I first initiated sex with Muh, and now the only time we have sex is if I go to her, which I like because as I stated before, it is a more pleasurable experience this way. A few weeks back when I was servicing her she saw me working my hand on my own clitter—what she calls a "spur-tongue" for some unknown reason—and told me she wanted to watch me. I spread my legs and when she saw my clitter she said, "Shit A'mighty!" She got down to take a closer look at it, and next thing I know Muh was sucking on it and she gave me my first orgasm not by my own hand. Oh, Diary, it was wonderful. Muh sucked it for almost two hours, then she said she wanted to feel it inside of her. She got on her hands and knees and I moved it in and out of her vagina just like we were husband and wife having sex. I don't know how many orgasms we had, Diary, but when we were done she told me that from now on my place was next to her in her bed, and I have been sleeping there ever since.

Dear Diary,

I think I'm in love with Muh, and I think she's in love with me. She hasn't said a cross word to me for a while now. We are happy with one another.

Dear Diary,

I went into town today for supplies and met a young man by the name of Silas Giddens. He stands about six foot three, he's muscular, he's dark-complected like me, and he said I was the juiciest-looking thing he had ever seen. He bought me a soda and we talked while Mr. Dennis loaded up the buggy. He asked if he could come calling over the weekend. I told him where I lived and said I'd be looking out for him. Maybe I should have warned him about Muh. Far as that goes, maybe I should have checked with Muh first.

Dear Diary,

Silas showed up on Saturday and invited himself to dinner. I think Muh was so taken aback by his forceful nature that she didn't even put him in his place for being so bold. His being there didn't exempt me from my chores, but I am so accustomed to running the farm by now that I generally finish early and still have lots of energy left over, which serves me and Muh well at night. I also have lost some weight. I am still heavy, but I am not flabby anymore. Silas told me I was "country strong." I like that almost as much as "Larva."

At dinner, there was very little talk over Silas's intentions toward me, but once we were in the living room talking over after-dinner coffee Muh asked him point-blank, "So, what're you looking to get out of dating my daughter?" Silas told Muh that he wasn't much interested in dating me because he had already decided he wanted to marry me. "And then what? Take her away?" But Silas told Muh that he wanted to come live on the farm, work it, make me and Muh proud of him so that they knew it would be in good hands when it passed from Muh to us. Muh liked the sound of this, and I think that was partly because she knew it would keep me on the farm, but whether Silas was around or not, I had already decided that I was going to stay on account of I wanted to be with Muh. Muh told Silas that they would discuss that at a later time, and not long after we finished our coffee and he left. Muh grabbed me by my hand and dragged me into the bedroom, stripped off all her clothes, lay on the bed, and said, "Fuck me!" My clitter was already hard before I had gotten undressed, and when I put it in her vagina it was hot as an iron skillet and wet as a dishrag. We fell asleep in each other's arms sometime later and awoke the next morning the same way.

Dear Diary,

Muh agreed to let Silas marry me. I was okay with that, but I told her that I was happy with her. She smiled and told me that she was getting older and might not be around much longer and I really needed to be with a man who could take care of me. I suppose she is right, Diary, but I really have no feelings for him right now. I mean, I like him, but nothing beyond that. Muh says that in time I will grow to love him. I hope she is right.

Dear Diary,

Silas came by today just as I was getting ready to head into town. I asked him if he wanted to come along, but he said he and Muh had things to discuss about the farm and our future. He kissed me on the cheek before entering the house, and then I hopped on the buggy and started on my way. I pulled to a quick stop, though, because I forgot the pick-axe; the tip had broken off it and I needed to get a new point filed on it.

As I walked toward the back of the house, I passed by a window and overheard Muh and Silas. Muh was telling Silas that she would never put the farm in my name, that when she died she would leave it to him because she did not want me selling it. Silas assured her that he would never sell. Muh then told Silas that his payment for the farm was going to be that he had to have sex with her. Her exact words were, "Service me on a regular basis." Oh, Diary ... I thought Muh had put her evil ways behind her, but here she was already trying to have sex with the man I was supposed to marry, and every ill feeling I ever had about her came rushing back to me. To his credit, Silas told Muh that if she had to put that kind of price on the farm then he didn't want it because he wasn't going to be unfaithful to me.

I remember Muh telling me that I would grow to love Silas. When I heard him speak those words, I knew right then and there that I loved him. I also knew that what Muh and I were doing, the sex we were having with each other, was over.

I grabbed the pick-axe, went into town, and when I got home Silas was gone. I asked Muh how the conversation went and she said, "I just don't know if he's gonna be the right man for this farm, or for you, for that matter."

"Well, I love him," I told her, "and I plan on marrying him." All she could do was stare at me as I immediately walked away, never giving her the chance to say anything.

Dear Diary,

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I last opened your pages, but there has been such a whirlwind of events going on that I just haven't had the time to tell you everything that has happened. First and foremost, Silas and I got married. I really pushed hard for it, but Silas was only too happy to comply. Lissie, Monty, and Baby Merrin attended, as did about fifty other people. Oh, Diary, it was so good to see my sister and her family, especially the baby. Silas saw how I took to her and whispered in my ear that he was going to give me a whole string of kids for my own. I beamed when he said this as I couldn't think of anything more appealing.

I made Muh promise to not get in any arguments with Lissie or Monty, and to her credit she didn't. In fact, it seemed that her cold heart melted when she finally picked up Baby Merrin and held her for the first time.

The night Silas and I were married, I had sex—real sex—for the very first time, and it was wonderful. As Silas was making love to me, he said, "What you got down there that keeps poking me?" I told him that it was my clitter (he calls it a spur-tongue also), but he wanted to look at it to make sure it wasn't a penis. I guess he was satisfied that it wasn't because he began to suck on it, which drove me crazy. He didn't do as good a job as Muh, but I figure in time he will learn my body just fine. I returned the favor and did him. It was so strangely different from sucking Muh's clitter, but different in a good way.

Dear Diary,

Lissie, Monty, and Baby Merrin left today to return to California. I am going to miss them, but now I am not longing to be with them as I have someone who wants and needs me here. I was glad that Monty and Silas got along. Before he left, Monty said, "What did I tell you? The larva has grown into a beautiful butterfly." I smiled when he said it, mainly because I knew it to be true; I felt like a beautiful butterfly.

Dear Diary,

Having Silas here is such a blessing as it takes running the farm off my sole shoulders. Silas brought with him a truck, so we didn't have to rely on the horse and buggy any longer, but he also brought some livestock and a tractor with a plow, not to mention his mechanical and carpentry skills. Work could not have been easier.

Dear Diary,

This morning, as Silas and I were milking the cows, we saw Muh carry a sign to the edge of the road and hammer it into the ground. We both went to see what she had done only to find out it was a "For Sale" sign. "Ooooo, that bitch!" I said. Silas told me to not worry about it, that I should get back to the cows while he would go talk to her. An hour later he came out of the house, walked to the end of the road, pulled the sign up, and tossed it across the yard. I was happy to see that whatever negotiations they had, that he had won. When I asked him what all was said, he told me that all I needed to know was that she would never do anything like that again, and I had no reason to not believe him.