Tak'lon: There Goes the Gloom

Tags: MC, MF, MD, GR, HU

Synopsis: A powerful being shows up at a wedding and is horrified at what he sees.

Note: 'My Erotic Fiction', which means a.) you cannot use or repost it without my permission. B.) It may be illegal or immoral for you to read. If so, don't. C.) None of it is real.

Note 2: This is a modified version of my submission to a contest on another site.

Note 3: Introduction to the B'Naf'By.

The B'Naf'by are a grand and glorious race from near the center of the D'OrfManch meta-galaxy. To try to describe them does them a disservice- they are at the same time far too complicated for the human mind to comprehend and simultaneously disgustingly ugly by any sentient standards. They are best known for gambling, although that is too mild a term for their massively complicated sports which have resulted in the loss of entire civilizations and at least one 'misplaced' sun.

The two B'Naf'by in most of these stories, Tak'Lon and Psat'Doo, have the task of monitoring a muddy rock in the Sol system. The Greater Galactic Council tasked the B'Naf'By with this task much as a human court might task a juvenile delinquent with community service. It is meant to be a humiliating task, a punishment, and a way to get a distasteful job taken care of at the same time.

To learn more about the B'Naf'By, consider reading the late, great Milton Frequetoast's celebrated tome "A Cultural Study of the B'Naf'Bian Empire from the Post-Cannibalistic Period to Current Time, With a Special Focus on the Influence of Gambling on the Intergalactic Stock Market and the Subsequent Fall of the Golariandians."

However, since his tour de force work is long out of print, the seeker of knowledge might do well to get a copy of "So You've Met A B'Naf'Bian! (Or, 'how to kiss your ass goodbye with dignity!')" at any local transgalactic tourist kiosk/towel dispenser.

Tak'Lon- There Goes The Gloom

By Paladin

And with a sudden burst of transporter energy, Psat'Doo was once again sharing a plane of existence with those quirky hoomans.

As he/she/it looked around (figuratively, he/she/it actually stayed perfectly still to avoid unwanted attention) he/sh... damn it, let's just pick a pronoun and stick with it, OK?...noticed he seemed to be at one of those delightfully odd human festivals called a 'welding'... or something like that. Something about joining two people anyway.

Continuing his investigation, be began to curse out Tak'Lon! The hslbtlr'd trummaolip reintegrated him as a statue! Not a majestic Greek statue or even a well-cast memorial to a fallen general, mind you, but one of those little damn things hoomans stick at the apex of the ceremonial confection- a whaddya call it... a 'cake topper'!

Ok... take a deep breath. What is going on here, and figure out what he could do to get out of this particular hell. Damnation- bad enough to have lost the bet, but to allow this sort of punishment was just sloppy game-playing on his part. Oh well- he'd make the best of it. How could he now make everyone's day a little brighter? Or, at least a little more surreal. Hmmm... lots of people to scan, and several have imbibed on fermented juices of various types, which always gives Psat'Doo a bit of a headache to read with his/her/its advanced B'Naf'By technology.

As he used his P.L.O.T. Device to scan the assembled hordes, the music swirled and several people began to march down the middle of the room. On his native planet, several women dressed thusly walking like that would most likely be marching to the ceremonial volcano in order to end their lives in humiliation over their horrendous outfits, but as he did not see a handy volcano, he cast his sensors to determine an alternative hypothesis.

Jumpin' Jehosaphat! (At least the thrice-damned hoomans had inventive curses!) That woman in all that white frippery was planning to enslave that male in the penguin costume in some sort of institution! She planned on making him 'something something obey something something until death do they part'! He scanned the penguin and saw that she had somehow convinced him that this was a good idea! How on shaltfnts can it be a good idea for a male to restrict his sacred fertilization duties to just one female- especially in a species as infertile as this one? I mean, come on! A mere two genders, just two feeding glands, three-fourths of a full solar year gestation period, typical litter of only one or two with occasional bursts of up to a barely tolerable level of five or six, and a breeding period of only about thirty years?

Something had to be done! Yes, yes, the Prime Directive and all that, but really- that was just a suggestion, like taking a side trip to see the great human achievements of Chernobyl, Boston's 'Big Dig', and the Mobro 4000 trash barge. But what to do? He considered correcting her flawed attitude, but when he scanned the other female units, he was astonished to discover they all felt the same way!

Great Llpknsd's ghost! Now what? The woman was approaching the end of the aisle and dude in some sort of dress was waiting for them. Penguin guy- apparently he was called the 'gloom'- and Psat'Doo could see why- was starting to move towards the rendezvous point. Think, damn it, think! Psat'Doo hit his literal head with a figurative thinking stick. Aha! He had it!

Freezing time for a moment... which, when he thought of it, was a pretty stupid thing to think. I mean, if you freeze time, terms like 'moment' have no meaning, do they? This sounded like a great area for a research paper and Psat'Doo started to compose the premise in his steel-trap mind. On another level, he set to work.

Now... this guy over here. He was older and his reproductive period was at an end, his previous mate had stopped functioning, and he had some sort of attachment to the white clad woman. Psat'Doo led him from his seat to the place the gloom was aiming for. He guided the gloom to a back room where he could leave him in stasis for a few ticks of whatever the locals use for time and no one would notice him. Just to be sure, he put a flowered tablecloth over his head. So adorable!

Let's see, let's see... who was paying enough attention to notice the changes? Here... here... oh, yes, certainly over here... and don't forget the officiant- who looked absolutely darling in his fancy gown... Here a tweak, there a tweak, everywhere a tweak tweak... Done! He took a moment to pat himself on his back, and another moment to work his arm back into the proper shape.

He used his Device to rewind time a bit to cover any small glitches and went to retrieve the gloom. Scanning his mind revealed a hodge-podge of conflicting images and desires. Here was his biological drive to spread his progeny far and wide, but over here was a bunch of red tape that seemed to be blocking his natural and Lkpok-given right to knock up as many broads as he could get his mitts on.

Sorting through the debris of the hooman's mind, he found exactly the right inspiration, and suddenly the hapless gloom found himself on a large tropical island, complete with a cluster of primitive huts outfitted with the bare basics like satellite big-screen TV, cold beer on tap, and hot tubs. Next, he built on a recurrent theme he found in many human brains- a story about paradise with some guy named Adam and a chick named Eve. Psat'Doo figured there was some sort of typo in the story- paradise with only one woman? Ridiculous! Some versions of the story seem to include a woman named Mary Ann and something called a Ginger- possibly a sort of spice or coloration. The gloom fit in that role nicely by looking quite professorial.

Now he needed additional players to make this work. He cast his glorious mind around the world looking for just the right... Ah! Here we go!

The by now very confused gloom was on a beautiful island, drinking an ice-cold craft beer, trying to figure out what was going on and why he was wearing a giant leaf for underwear. Suddenly, there was a popping noise and a woman appeared! A gorgeous young brunette also wearing nothing but leaves was looking around, confused, until she saw him. Her eyes lit up, her nipples popped up under the foliage, and she shyly introduced her self. "Hi! I'm Eve Longdon!" The gloom replied "I- I'm Adam. Adam Carsons." The two felt drawn together, and were hugging in a way that was making his leaf stand at an odd angle when there was another pop!

The newly arrived and be-leaved blonde stepped over. "Hello, my name is Eve Downs. What is going on here?" Another pop... and another... and another...

Psat'Doo was pleased. He had found thirty different young women of mating age, similar in overall structure to the images in Adam's mind, all named Eve or some variation of that (including a woman who only played in a commercial for some sort of irrational product named something like Hot Season's Late in the Day) that were not deeply involved with anyone else. It was not even a minor strain on him to correct their wrong hooman thinking about such absurd concepts as monogamy, or jealousy, wearing clothes in nice weather, or piling needless pillows on sleeping platforms. Of course, re-establishing the women to their proper role vis-a-vis relationships with men barely used any power at all.

It was not long before Adam was involved in a mating orgy with more than two dozen women actively trying to mate with him. He was in real danger of suffocation before he caught his wind enough to order them back and had them stand at attention for a proper inspection. He nodded to 'First Eve', 'First Blonde Eve', and 'Tits Eve' and had them follow him back to the largest hut and told the rest of the crew to get the cooking and cleaning done.

After a deeply satisfying round of sex with First Eve, Adam lay on his back exhausted and somewhat mind-blown. First Eve leaned over and quietly asked "First time, lover?" Adam could barely nod. The three collected Eves giggled a bit at his naivety and lack of experience but they figured they could whip him into shape soon enough. He was young and should recover quickly.

Psat'Doo peeked into the hut. "This won't do at all!" he pronounced. He turned up the arousal on all the girls as well as making their hoo-haws more sensitive and responsive. Then he turned to Adam and granted him a fuck stick truly worthy of a primitive masculine creature. Adam saw the thing doing a baseball bat imitation in his lap and just gazed in awe. Surely the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey was all in his imagination- although the women heard it too.

First Eve was about to climb on board, with 'climb' being the operative word, when First Blonde Eve pushed her aside and claimed dibs. At first, she could not even get the tip of his Cock of Cocks into her sopping pussy, then it was if her nether yaya opened and began to swallow the huge plum. She slid slowly down for another foot or so with pleasure threatening to short circuit her brain. The other two girls were holding her up and supporting her physically and verbally as she screamed gibberish and drooled as she began to jackhammer herself on him. When he came, it was if a really tall and thin volcano erupted with a milky white lava into... into... into a really wet pussy-like thing.

First Blonde Eve moaned and rolled off him, spasming every so often between soft moans. Tits Eve took her place and varied her performance only in that she shoved her DD's into Adam's face as she rocked on him. She lasted a little longer, and he came in her twice as she experienced four climaxes... or full-blown seizures. First Eve helped her off and had a seat on the thick shaft, figuring that she would just pass out onto the bed this way, and indeed she did after a few minutes of a fucking so deep she swore she could feel his cock head against the back of her teeth.

Psat'Doo looked at all he had wrought and declared it good. Now, back to the cake topper...

"And so I declare you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride!" He had arrived just in time!

The white-garbed woman turned to look up at her new husband, and saw him for the first time.

"Daddy????"