Tales from the Guilds Ch. 10

*****

Cryptofer was a bit miffed. He had sworn never to listen in on anyone in the University while they were in their rooms. However, the use of Doors made those rooms nearly infinite. By choosing very strict meanings to the phrase 'in their rooms', he could claim in all honesty that following a Wizard (or even an advanced student) out into the wide Multiverse was within his promise. However, the Wizards always made sure their end of the Door was inside their apartments so once the corridor door was shut, Cryptofer was cut off from all entertaining eavesdropping on what might be going on out in other worlds. He/it especially wanted to follow the potentially juicy developments between Horace and Phoenix but the Senior Wrangler had no intention of letting anyone (or anything) else into his very private affairs. Cryptofer was, in a word, jealous.

*****

"Ook . . .", the Librarian suddenly looked up from the grimoire he was repairing and cocked his head.

"What do you mean, there's been a disturbance in the Force?" Ladislav Pelc asked irritably, "What 'Force' and how is it disturbed?"

The Librarian waggled his bushy red eyebrows up and down mischievously, "Ook-ik."

"A two-step Door? Why would anyone do that? What would be the point?"

The Librarian held his finger to his lips and winked conspiringly. "Ook eek."

"That's mad. From his room to a tropical island and then back to—Mrs. Whitlow's?"

The Librarian clapped an enormous hand over Professor Pelc's mouth. "Ook!"

"Okay, okay," the Professor whispered after he was released, "None of my business, I'm sure. But really, the Senior Wrangler? That sly dog! Well, good for him, I suppose. Not my sort of thing but it'd be a funny old world if we were all the same, I say."

The Librarian nodded sagely.

*****

Death picked up a pair of life timers and noted that there was plenty of sand left in both of them. He nodded approvingly. Sometimes the Multiverse actually was benevolent. "It appears they will have many years together, Albert. Susan will approve."

*****

The Senior Wrangler stood fidgeting in front of his Omniscope. Since it wasn't focused on any time/place in particular, it showed an excellent image of nothing. Nothing, it turned out, was what most of the Multiverse contained and made for a perfect reflection. No, he thought, one doesn't wear a full set of Wizarding robes to the beach. He hadn't last time and he wasn't going to this time. Perhaps he really should have taken the train to Quirm on holiday. The Quirmians lived on the beach and should know how to dress. Horace didn't. After some hesitation he took off his University robe and then shucked his pointy toed shoes. After a few more minutes, he removed his socks and his coat. Clad in knee breeches, jerkin and shirt he stood for another long while and then removed the jerkin. The pointy, broad brim hat, on the other hand, was going nowhere. Otherwise, how would anyone know he was a Wizard? Finally, clad in the Discworld equivalent of jeans and a t-shirt, Horace took a deep breath and opened the door.

Once more a soft, warm breeze caressed his face. He heard the rustle of the palm fronds overhead and the distant break of the waves over the barrier reef. A fiery red sun sank low into the horizon, setting a scattering of high clouds into colors that were clichéd in brilliance. As he stepped forward onto the sand a pair of hands covered his hands from behind.

"Guess who?" Phoenix whispered and then giggled.

"Ph-Phoenix?"

"Lucky guess," she replied with another giggle, "but darling you have too many clothes on for such a warm evening. Let's get this shirt off—and your hat."

She expertly shucked the linen up over his head and tossed it aside. Wrapping her arms around him, she rubbed the nipples of her full, deep breasts against his back. His reaction was predictable. Long dormant hormones suddenly woke up and went into overdrive and, when she pressed her hips to his buttocks, they sent blood rushing into surprised loins.

"Come, Horace, the bathing pool is still there after all these millennia. Let me make the Disc move for you."