Tantric 101: Lingam Massage

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She gives him pleasure of de-laying him.
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We kiss, gently at first. Your lips rove, kindling up little fires here and there and all around, down along my neck, and back to my softened lips. You break the kiss, take me by the hand, and lead me to the bed. Smiling, you begin to undress me slowly, removing each article of clothing with the utmost care, then stripping your clothes off and throwing them down away from the bed in a determined, no-nonsense way – letting me know that escape will not be an option tonight. I shudder with anticipation.

You pull back the covers and rearrange the pillows. Then you ask me to lie down. This is the moment you have promised me. You have been demanding that I resist my desire to give to you....that I relax into receiving. You have promised me a wonderful opening lecture in your Tantric 101 class: the best lingam massage of my life. You urge me to relax into the sensation, and you remind me, periodically, to pay attention to my breathing, to bring the sensation into the spiral of life.

I close my eyes and revel in the sensation.

You begin to caress my body with your fingertips, beginning at the top of my head, relaxing my body across my naked flesh. My breath quickens.. You remind me to breathe and pay attention to the inhalation and exhalation. I enjoy this sensation. You reach for my face and you begin to caress my lips with your fingertips, watching the quivering of my lips in anticipation. I open my mouth to suck your fingers. You move on, tracing the lines on my neck and throat, playing with the aspects of my ears. You explore my shoulders, the base of my throat and you continue your exploration of my body. You walk your fingers down my arms, touching all of the ticklish parts, particularly along my ribs, the inside of my loins, and the palm of my hands.

You return to my chest and begin an excruciatingly slow exploration of my chest and sides. You dip your head slowly and take my nipples into your mouth...and do unto them what you love having done unto yours...teasing them gently, making them taut. You release them and continue down my torso, only to return to my nipples again. I gasp as you take them into your mouth with force, sucking on them with hunger, drawing from them my life force. My breathing quickens and you stop – and you remind me to breathe, in and out, slowly.

You continue to explore my torso, now with fingers and your mouth, lapping me with your tongue, exploring every nook and cranny, tasting me. Now, you, press hard against me, insistent, impatient. You get off my body and explore me with just your lips and tongue. You touch my hips and I buck reflexively. You trace the outer aspect of my legs, strong and solid from years of soccer, and you reach for my feet and begin to slowly massage them, taking them into your mouth and sucking my toes, licking the arch and stroking the balls of my feet. You continue up the inside line of my legs, reaching my knees, stretching my legs out and holding them to stroke behind my knees.

You take your time, gradually teasing me, knowing what I want, knowing I will have it soon, hoping I can understand the need to restore sensual sensation to every cell in my body, waking me up to the sexuality in every muscle.

You nip the inside of my thighs, lick them, kissing them. You want to touch me, lick me, suck me, but you wait. You touch lightly with wetted finger the tip of my hard, swollen cock, delighting in its slick texture, and then you run your down its underside tomy balls. You circle and corral them in the palm of your hands, pressing, exploring, not claiming ownership. I feel so ready to pump, so ready to cum.

Then, it truly begins – the delightful experience of lingam massage. You explore every little bump and wrinkle and vein and crevice, looking for new experiences for me. You listen to me breathe, and I gasp as you massage me with tongue, lips, fingers.

You take my balls into my mouth, sucking them, pulling them down towards your throat, teasing them with my little nips. Releasing them, you plunge your mouth down on my cock, taking me in completely. I respond with vigor, fucking your mouth, fucking your throat. Just as I reach the edge, you release me.

You suck me from tip to base, taking me in. I beg for release, once, twice, three times. You smile, relax your grip on me and remind me: breathe, slowly, in and out, enjoy this; it never has to end. Again and again, you grasp my cock gently, between your thumb and middle finger, as if you are holding a slice of lemon you will taste before drinking a shot of tequila, and you just slide up and down me, taking me almost to the tipping point, and then letting the charge in me subside a bit. I feel like a river swollen in floodtide, but the levee holds. The pleasure is agonizing beautiful. At times I feel the touch of a feather, drawn across the underside of my cock's head, as if you were playing my cock with the feather like a violin with a bow, could make me come. The impulse to thrust, to leap off the table and take you from behind, doggie-style, burying my cock deep into your cunt with unimpeded power, runs through my body, my mind, my imagination. I am at the mercy of your touch, and I love it and hate it. I want to cry out and you stifle my desire to cry with a kiss, and I plead to you with my lips, my tongue: Take me....take me all the way.... But I break the contact of the kiss. Don't take me, not yet; the torture of the pleasure is too beautiful.

But, finally, I can't stand it anymore and I begin to buck. You then suck me hard, stroking me at the same time, reaching for my balls and drawing them up, your finger in my ass, stroking, humming, waiting, watching. I explode with the roar of a lion.

When I am spent, you soothe me, stroking my hot, sweaty skin, comforting me as I try to find my body again, try to fit this experience into the space of myself, expanding that space to include this.

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SaamiSaamialmost 16 years ago
Lingam Massage is done with hands (not about oral

In Tantra, is called the Lingam (pronounced ling-ahm)—which loosely translates into "Wand of Light." In the physical sense, it is what we might call the cock, prick, dick, etc. The Tantra definition expands the view of the male genitals beyond the physical—the masculine is a pure laser beam of consciousness, raw energy and single-minded focus. A Lingam Massage is about worshiping that consciousness, and giving a man space to relax into his body, and expand his consciousness to receive even greater pleasure.

This type of massage can also help men work through sexual trauma, or negative sexual conditioning, given a massaging partner with enough gentle patience. Orgasm is never the goal of the Lingam massage, although it happens sometimes, and it is often much more intense than normal orgasms. The true goal is to massage the Lingam, testicles, perineum and "sacred spot" (more on that later—it's the masculine equivalent to the feminine g-spot) to encourage a man to explore the edges of his ability to receive pleasure.

Preparation You can bathe or shower together first. Make sure you both void before starting, as you won't want to have to interrupt the flow if one of you has to use the bathroom.

You need a quiet, preferably dim space, with a bed, or a futon mattress on the floor, or even just pillows. You can drape a sheet over them, in case you spill any oil. The temperature in the room should be a little warmer than normal because you are both going to be nude, so you may want to turn up the heat. Lighting many candles in the room also helps generate heat and keep the room dim. You will want to make sure that you have an open time frame where you won't be disturbed, preferably a few hours. Remember to turn off all of your phones and pagers, and if you live with others, you can even put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.

Music is good to set the mood, but be sure it's something where all of the tracks are appropriate. There's nothing so jarring as a discordant piece of music suddenly playing when you're trying to relax. Make sure your CD player has a "repeat" function, so you don't have to stop to push "play" again and again.

Your lubricants and oils should be somewhere within easy reach. Try to get spill proof bottles, and use plastic rather than glass. (Knocking over a bottle of massage oil and breaking it makes a huge mess and goes a long way toward ruining the mood!)

If you are giving this massage, you should remind your partner that their communication with you is key. Make sure that they feel comfortable making requests or comments. He should know that this is about his comfort and pleasure, and if he needs a break, or if the room is too hot, or the touch is too light or too hard, he can and should speak up and say something. You can often encourage him by asking "Is this too hard?" or "Is the temperature ok?"

The first thing you should do is breathe together. Breath is the way we make love with the divine. Look into each other's eyes and breathe, deep into your belly. You should be sitting face-to-face (or standing, if you prefer). You can hold hands, or hold onto each other, whatever feels good to you both.

The Lingam Massage The massage begins with the man lying on his back, usually with something under his hips to lift them a little—a pillow (cover this with a towel) or a cushion. He can place a pillow under his head if he likes, or not, whichever is more comfortable. Make sure he is relaxed and truly comfortable before you begin, because he is going to be in this position a long time.

You should sit between the man's legs, cross-legged, with his legs apart, knees up and slightly bent. You should continue looking into his eyes and breathe with him. Remind him, often, of his breath. If you find he is holding his breath, you can place your hand on his lower belly and remind him to breathe from that space, to "fill his belly" with his breath. Practice this a few times before you begin.

Lingam massage begins with a slow, sensual massage of the other parts of the body. Massage his legs, his chest, his abdomen, his arms. This is a long, slow process. Advance the massage slowly toward the inner thighs and pelvis, until he is breathing deeply from his belly, and his body has no more tension and is fully relaxed.

Then, and only then, should you approach the Lingam. This is a sacred act, and a powerful one. You should ask his permission to touch his "Wand of Light." You can simply say the words, "May I touch your Lingam?" or you can more formally ask, "May I touch your Wand of Light?" Whatever reaction or response he has is normal. Take it in stride, whatever it is.

If he gives you permission, pour a small quantity of very good quality massage oil or water-based lubricant on the Lingam and testicles. The quality of the oil is important. This area of the body is very sensitive, and the skin can get raw quickly if the oil isn't high quality. Rub the oil into the skin, and then begin at the top of the inner thighs, in the crease where his legs meet the pelvis floor. Work along the connecting bone and muscles, releasing tension as you go. Spend a great deal of time here, rubbing the oil into the skin. Use slow, steady motions.

Remember, too, to ask him what he is feeling—is it too hard, too soft? Too fast, too slow? Let his pleasure be your guide. You don't need to have a conversation (and probably shouldn't—it might take him out of his body) but definitely keep communicating during the massage. Look into his eyes, and keep breathing with him.

Next, massage above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Rock your hand over this place, feeling the bone beneath the muscle and skin. Then, move on to the scrotum, gently (and I say gently, and I mean gently!) pulling and kneading his testicles. You will need to pay very close attention to his responses here, and encourage him to tell you what is just right for him. Some men are more sensitive than others in this area, and can't stand to have their testicles touched at all, while others require a harder touch. Experiment, starting light and moving toward hard, rather than the other way around.

Then, move your hand down to massage his perineum. This is the area between the testicles and anus, and can be very sensitive. Pay special attention here, circling and pulling at the tissues. This is a very overlooked and neglected part of the male anatomy, and most men find great pleasure in having it stimulated. You can use downward strokes from his Lingam to his anus, or a circular motion. Vary your speed and pattern and ask for feedback often.

Now you can move your hand to touch his Lingam. As you do so, imagine you are making love to a god, some divine being, and this is the source of his energy and light, this hard shaft in your hand. Worship him as you begin to stroke the shaft with varying pressure and speed. Let him feel all your devotion and love in your movements. He is your god here on Earth, and this is your opportunity to show him that.

If, at any point, your man seems close to ejaculation, you need to back off immediately and let things cool down before beginning again. He will have to be more aware of his own bodily sensations during this time, and should be giving you feedback. If he thinks he is close to ejaculating, he should tell you, so you can slow your movements. If he passes the point of no return, that's ok. If he is very close, but not quite there, you may be able to hold off his ejaculation by squeezing the tip of his Lingam between your thumb and forefinger. You need to squeeze very firmly, and hold it for about thirty seconds. Encourage him to take deep, belly breaths while you do this and it may delay him.

Now, as you are massaging the shaft, begin to gently squeeze his Lingam at the base with your right hand, and pull up, sliding completely off. Then do the same with your left hand—squeeze his Lingam at the base, and pull up, sliding completely off. Then do this again with your right, then your left, and so on. Then, after a while, change directions—slide alternating hands from the top down to the base.

You should pay close attention to the tip or head of his Lingam. Hold his Lingam by the tip and gently shake it back and forth. Then thoroughly massage the head, cupping it in your palm and making a "juicing" motion (like you are juicing a lemon or an orange) around and around.

Another thing about Lingam massage—because it's not necessarily about achieving orgasm, he may not be fully erect all the time. That's perfectly normal, and in Tantra, it's actually preferable. Women experience the same rise and fall of arousal, too, like waves—it just doesn't have such tangible measurements. Let him stiffen or wane, as his pleasure increases or decreases. The more he does this, the more in tune he will be with his own arousal.

Move from the Lingam to the testicles to the perineum and back again, paying close attention to his response. A man can learn to master his ejaculations more effectively through this technique, as you massage him and he learns to identify the cues his body sends that orgasm is imminent. Remember to keep backing off if he gets too close to ejaculating, moving your hands to a more remote area, such as his perineum or even his thighs for a while.

The next place to explore is the male "Sacred Spot." You can do this one of two ways. The first way is to locate the spot halfway between the testicles and anus that creates a small indentation, about the size of a dime. You should be gentle, here, (go light at first, and increase pressure as he likes, that's always a good rule) but begin to push inward with your finger. He will feel a sort of pressure, and it may even be painful at first.

The other way to access the sacred spot is through the anus. Some men are sensitive about having anything inserted and don't want to have it done this way, and that's fine. If he is open to it, you can insert the index finger of your left hand (use lubrication!) slowly and gently into the anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger in a "come here" gesture, and you will feel the prostate gland. This feels good when massaged, and some men like to have the Lingam massaged at the same time.

Like a woman's G-spot (her sacred spot) this can hold strong emotions that may be released as you are massaging him. Whatever comes up, it's normal, just let him experience the wave of emotions without trying to comfort or rescue him. Keep pressing there, allowing him to release whatever he needs to.

The male sacred spot is also another way to help control ejaculation. If he starts to feel close, you can decrease stimulation on the Lingam and increase stimulation in the sacred spot, either anally or on the perineum, and it should help decrease his immediate need for orgasm.

If he wants to ejaculate at the end of the massage, that's fine. If he doesn't, that's fine, too. If he does choose to ejaculate, keep reminding him to take deep, deep breaths, even during his orgasm. It will probably be more intense than most orgasms he has experienced. When he feels complete, slowly remove your hands. Ask for his feedback—some men do like to snuggle afterward, but some would rather drift off into a meditative state. Let him do whichever he prefers.

I love to worship a man's Lingam, devoting my whole self to his pleasure, feeling the power in him as he learns to master his own ejaculations. I hope that you can give your man your devotion and love through this massage, and show him how much you worship him and his "Wand of Light."

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Bibliography

1.) Copeland, Pala and Link, Al. – Soul Sex: Tantra For Two The Career Press, Franklin Lakes, New Jersey 2003.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
NICELY DONE

I was beginning to think I was the only Tantric practitioner on this site. Very nicely written and also conveyed the feel of the delirious delights that can be reached. Wishing you the best Yoni and Lingham sessions ever.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
WOW

I would like to do this

JenniferMidnightJenniferMidnightalmost 20 years ago
sweet sensual tension

I loved the waiting, the building ~wonderfully sensual~

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