Tantric Massage Pt. 01

It's one week since my first gay experience and I'm still trying to sort out the feelings and emotions running through me.

I'm in my late fifties, married and have never cheated on my wife. For the past ten years, I've been questioning my sexuality. I enjoy sex with my wife, but in recent years, my porn viewing has changed from women to gay men.

Based on my reaction to gay porn, I've determined that I'm a bottom and that I want to suck a cock and be penetrated.

When I first watched two guys together, I thought kissing another guy was gross, but having him cum in my mouth to be erotic. Strange for sure, but in my mind it proved that kissing was more intimate than any other act.

I would never initiate a kiss, but don't think I would refuse one either.

Cheating on my wife was not an option and I knew that sooner or later I would have to tell her of my curiosity regarding male sex. That conversation happened a little over a year ago.

She was not entirely surprised about my revelation, but that didn't mean it was welcomed. I tried to put her mind at ease, by telling her I wasn't actively looking to meet a guy and would tell her if I was. I had been scanning Craigslist and been tempted to respond to several ads, but didn't have the nerve to do so.

My thoughts of seeing another guy nude and touching his cock continued and flowed like ocean waves. Sometimes the thoughts were calm and other times they were huge and powerful. During one of those powerful times, I google'd gay tantric sex.

A very well presented web page appeared and I was intrigued by the services offered. I had previously thought that tantric sex was a female massaging a guy for forty-five minutes, followed by a hand job. In the past, this would have interested me, but now I wanted to be nude in front of another guy and for that guy to be nude too.

Alan's web page stated that it was not just a promise of a happy ending, it was an hour of erotic pleasure. And that pleasure didn't have to be all one way. Everything was open to discussion. I could strip down to my underwear, or we could remove our clothes entirely and together.

I was getting aroused thinking about unbuttoning his shirt and touching his chest.

Over dinner, I told my wife about visiting the web site and that I was interested in pursuing a massage. She was less than thrilled, but knew this was important to me and she just didn't have the parts to satisfy my curiosity.

Over the next few weeks, I corresponded with Alan and he was very patient and understanding. He had a mix of clients and knew the emotional turmoil that a first timer was going through.

It was surreal to correspond with another guy, saying that I was interested in not only seeing his cock, but touching it as well. Penetration was out of the question, but I did let him know that I did want to experience anal touching.

My wife knew that I was going to meet Alan, but we agreed that I would not tell her when.

My appointment with Alan occurred several weeks later and my cock was rock hard during my morning shower. As I drove to his location, my doubts increased and my cock shrunk to its smallest size. Several times I thought about pulling to the side of the road and canceling the appointment. I was sure I wouldn't have been the first person to back out at the last minute.

I parked a block away and walked to his house with doubt after doubt dancing through my mind. I loved sex with my wife, why did I have thoughts of sucking a guy, being held and penetrated?

I didn't think I was prejudice, but I didn't want to think I could be gay. It was okay for other people to be gay, but not me.

My finger trembled as it pressed the doorbell and I was about to leave when the door opened. Alan matched his description. He was in his fifties, dark hair with hints of grey, 5' 11" and about 200 pounds. He was a regular looking guy with a captivating smile.

We shook hands and his grip was strong and firm. I liked that.

He offered a seat on his couch and poured a glass of spring water. We chatted over our drink and I went from absolutely nervous to entirely at ease. Although I was comfortable, talking so openly about sex seemed more dreamlike than real. Fifteen minutes prior I was about to cancel, now I was asking about my prostate being touched.

My cheeks flushed when he described putting a glove on, lubing my entrance and sliding his finger inside me. He asked if I was sure and I nodded yes. "Are you really sure?" he asked.

"Yes. Really sure," I responded.

He led me to a large room upstairs. It was comfortably warm and the air held a light tropical scent.

He undid the buttons to my shirt and then placed my hands at the top of his shirt. My fingers felt numb, but I did manage to undo the first button. Like me, he had just the right amount of hair. My fingers warmed as they touched his silken hair and after a few minutes, his shirt was unbuttoned.

He raised his hands to my shoulders and I did the same to him. We slid our shirts off, letting them drop to the floor.

"I want to lean and touch our chests together. Are you okay with that?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

His hands slid past my shoulder and down my back. Our chest hairs touched and then our nipples. His nipples were soft and mine were puckered hard.

We were the same height and I could see in his eyes that he was about to kiss me. We hadn't discussed kissing and he must have seen willingness in my eyes.

He leaned closer and I felt a glowing energy spark between us. I moaned softly at his lips light touch. My hands slid over his back. His skin was smooth and his kiss delicious.

His tongue pressed between my lips and I parted mine, opening my mouth to him. He brushed his tongue over mine and I licked his tongue back. I lapped his tongue over and over like a puppy dog and then began to suck it.

I was panting, sucking and drawing in deep gasps of air. I pressed him to me, just like my wife does to me when she is at the heights of sexual arousal. It is her signal that she wants to be fucked and I realized how much I wanted to be as well.

Alan broke our embrace and padded to the bathroom, coming back with a glass of water and a wet cloth.

"Here. Sip this." Alan handed me the glass.

I drank half the water and felt the cloth being dabbed on my forehead. My breathing returned to somewhat normal and I leaned against the massage table.

"Sorry," I whispered. "I saw colored sparks go off and lost control."

Alan smiled. "I seldom kiss during a session. The blame is mine, not yours."

"I hardly ever imagine kissing another guy, but I wanted your kiss. I really wanted it. Perhaps I'm more gay than I thought."

"There's no judgement here. I'm gay and guys turn me on. I've had sex with women, but it's not the same. It feels good, but I don't get the rush that I do with guys."

"My wife is a wonderful kisser, but your kiss sent me to another level." I looked down. "If you hadn't stopped, I'm sure I would have let you do anything."

"Anything?" Alan asked, raising his eyebrow. "You do know I'm a top and a dominant."

I bit my lip, wanting to be honest, but afraid of that honesty.

"Tell me what you really came here for. Tell me your orientation and what you desire."

"I'm ... Gay."

"I know what you wrote, but what were your fantasies while you corresponded with me?"

"I imagined sucking you," I said.

"And ... C'mon. You can say it."

"Being penetrated."

"Tell me what you want and don't use the word penetrate."

I was aware of how stiff my cock was. "I want to suck your cock and I want you to fuck me ... To cum inside me."

He smiled. It was warm and genuine. "From our correspondence and reading between the lines, I'm not surprised at what has happened and what's been said. It's nice to hear your honesty."

"The moment I sat on your couch, I felt that it was okay to think of myself as gay. I don't like labels, but I do know that seeing male sex is so damn hot. I want to suck you and I've imagined you spurting your seed inside me."

Alan nodded his head. "Growing up gay was painful and I'm sure you've questioned your sexuality ever since puberty."

"True," I said. "Even before puberty, I masturbated with my older brother's friend. Many times he would come over just for me to jerk him off. I liked doing that, but also knew that telling anybody would be a bad idea."

Alan stood up. "Come with me."

I followed him to his bedroom. He laid down and patted beside him. I laid down and shifted to my side and into his waiting arm.

My cheek rested on his chest and his fingers rubbed behind my ear.

"You're so submissive," he said and chuckled. "We need to talk ..."

End of Part 1