Testing Limits of Sexual Honesty

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Wife watches and directs as husband fucks a lesbian friend.
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Testing the limits of sexual honesty: wife watches and directs as husband fucks a lesbian friend.

*

My name is Lynn and I'm 32 years old. My husband Adam and I have been married ten years. Adam is 34, and in the eleven years we've known each other we've never had an argument, or even a harsh word. Some people we know think that's unhealthy, or that we're lying. But it's true. We both believe in being honest with one another and so we keep very, very few secrets. When, on the extremely rare occasion one of us catches the other hiding something, or lying, the plaintiff develops a bedroom procedure to deal with it. You might think that such a matrimonial discipline system could be an incentive to break the rules, but it actually doesn't.

We're still deeply in love, and while we don't have sex every day the way we did in our first few months together, the improvement in the quality of our sex has far outpaced any decline in frequency.

We know most of each other's sexual fantasies and fetishes and use them to turn each other on. Each of us has fewer sexual hang-ups now than we did at the beginning of our relationship. It's not that we had so many that either of us was horrible in bed. It's more that the process of eliminating our respective hang-ups has been liberating. We certainly don't act on every fantasy that either of us has because we believe that some are better left in the imagination.

I likely had the most sexual hang-ups. It took a few years for me to get the courage to show Adam the kind of sexual pervert that I really am. The fact that I use the word pervert is a clue that I still have a few insecurities. That said, being accepted and loved by my husband in spite of, or maybe because of, my perceived perversities is exciting and endearing.

Adam has been my beacon. The more open I became, the closer we became. The more open he became, the closer we became. Our relationship and our sex has evolved, and gotten better. Mind you, we have plenty of plain vanilla sex. It's like comfort food. Sometimes a plate of macaroni and cheese is the best meal in the world. Sometimes a simple missionary hump is all we need to soothe the horny beast.

I think that one of the secrets to a good sex is talk about sex. Adam and I talk about sex often. We also like to read erotic stories and share our favourites with one another. We have jumped into bed more than once after one of us describes the part or idea of a story that has turned us on. Occasionally we'll watch porn together and talk about what we find most exciting. Maybe more unusually, we sometimes talk about sex with a couple of our close friends. We're not driven by the desire to Swing or to have group sex, or anything like that. We find that open conversations about sex with friends helps to nurture that part of our brains. It helps to reassure us that our sexual thoughts and behaviours are simply a part of the natural order of things.

The friends I'm referring to are a lesbian couple, of all things. We can get quite honest about our sexual interests. We certainly don't get into conversations about sex every time we get together but if the topic comes up, we all embrace it. This is a story about how honesty and a sexual conversation with our friends led me to follow my imagination to the edge of destroying a relationship. If anything, it is a cautionary tale. And it came about, indirectly, because of a conversation Adam and I had with our friends and neighbors Josie and Donna.

Josie is 36 years old and is one of the lesbian couple I mentioned. She lives in our condominium building with her partner Donna. Like Adam and I, they've been together for ten years.

I met Josie at a neighborhood Yoga class about three years ago. We had seen each other in our building for a few years but it wasn't until I signed up for a Yoga class she had been attending that we became friends. We're both fitness addicts. Besides the weekly Yoga class, we both do a 50 minute Spinning class twice a week. We go to different gyms but each of us works out with weights once a week too. We're very fit and feel sexy because of it.

I'm 5'4" tall and 120 pounds. I have what some people call a dancer's ass - significant, round, and firm. I don't want to look muscular but you can tell from my biceps and shoulders that I work out. I've got a D cup size, which is larger than I'd like, but that's what seems to get people's attention first. Josie likes to joke that she recognized me by my rack before she could remember my face.

I want to be clear that this is not a story about lesbians. I had one brief relationship with a woman before I met Adam and while I can still get turned on by thoughts of having sex with a woman, I really do prefer men. Adam knows that and he plays with that side of me sometimes to get me off.

Sometimes when he's fucking me from behind we'll pretend that there is a woman on the bed, her legs spread in front of me, and he will tell me what to do with her pussy. It works best for me if we've just watched a porn movie with a male, female, female threesome and the woman I'm pretending to eat is one of the women in the film. Maybe that makes me bisexual, even if it's such a small part of my life that it's almost not there.

Josie is a very beautiful woman. In lesbian terms, she's a femme. Some lesbians have lesbian written all over them. Not Josie. At 5'1" and 110 pounds, she's petite even compared to me. And she's stunning. She has an A size cup but her ass and thighs larger than mine. I sometimes jokingly call her 'buoy' because of the resemblance between her body shape and those marine warning devices. I also get a chuckle at the homophone.

Josie's partner Donna is more obviously a lesbian. At 6'2", she's more than a foot taller than Josie. Donna isn't trim like Josie. She must weigh 200 pounds. She's plays ice hockey in winter and floor hockey in summer but she's not into going to the gym. They're a great couple. Josie is a bit of an introvert and Donna is the quintessential extrovert. They work well together. I think their relationship is similar to the one that Adam and I have. I'm the extrovert and Adam is an introvert.

I invited them to our place for dinner about three years ago and we had such a great time that we made it a regular thing. We now eat at our place or their place about once a month. Sometimes it's just Josie because Donna travels for work a lot.

At the beginning Adam was a little uncertain about Josie and Donna. He had never had any experience with lesbians as friends. But he's curious about everything. He is a documentary film maker and a very good one at that. Donna is the VP of Human Resources for a bank and Josie is a professor of art history. I'm a computer engineer for a software design company. When conversation starts it flows easily. It seemed from that first evening together that we were all destined to be friends. Adam jokes that it's because we all like pussy. Donna likes his quirky sense of humour so the winds of friendship were blowing in our favour. It also may help that we all like to smoke pot. None of us drink much, and grass is our only major vice.

There is a game called Truth or Dare that we play occasionally that led us to revealing some of our sexual secrets. Donna is always the one to start the game. In fact, she introduced us to it. We rotate clockwise around the group asking a selected person to answer an embarrassing question (truth) or to perform some embarrassing task (dare). It's almost always about the truth questions. There are rarely any dares.

My heart sank the first time Donna asked a question because she chose Adam. She asked him as calmly as you might ask for a hotdog at a food cart: "Have you ever fucked Lynn in the ass?" I love to anal sex and Adam loves it to. I can count on Adam parting my ass cheeks and burying his cock deep inside me at least half the time we have sex. But that's not the point. Prior to Donna asking the question, our sexual practices were pretty much kept to ourselves. I didn't know how Adam would respond. I knew he would squirm a little.

Adam was silent for at least thirty seconds. He first stared blankly at Donna. Eventually the corners of his mouth began turn up into a smile. He looked at me and then at Josie, and back to Donna. He finally broke the silence and said "Hell yes! I love it and she loves it too. Now that you bring it up, that's what I want to do tonight." He looked at me and leaned over and kissed me on the lips. I love it when he does things like that.

Donna and Josie laughed. I smiled and felt a wet spot develop in my panties. The revelation to our new friends that we like anal sex was exciting and sort of cathartic. I felt a flush of heat pour over my body at the thought of what else we might reveal to them.

Josie followed with an equally exposing question, but this time for me. She asked "Did Donna's question and Adam's response make you wet?" Donna and Adam laughed before I said anything. I could see that they were going to become chums. I didn't hesitate as long as Adam did with his question but I told the truth and said "Yes. My panties are wet". Maybe it was the nervous energy that the game had made us feel, because as soon as I responded we all burst into peals of laughter.

Thus began a friendship that would lead each of us to reveal things about our sexual lives and interests that we wouldn't otherwise do, and certainly not in such mixed company.

Adam and I now know that Josie shaves her pussy and Donna keeps hers trimmed. We know that Donna likes to play with Josie's asshole during sex, that Josie likes it, and that she especially likes it when Donna mounts her anally from behind with a strap-on. One of the most intriguing things we learned is that Josie isn't a pure lesbian. She had sex with several men before meeting Donna and she claims she enjoyed it, or at least wasn't repulsed by it. My take was that her interest in men is similar to my interest in women. While she is strongly attracted to women, she still has occasional cravings for a man's body and his hard cock.

I'm not the jealous type but when I believed that Josie was a bona fide lesbian, she wasn't a threat. When she wasn't, when she was instead bi-sexual, things changed a little. Fortunately, I'm not really insecure about my relationship with Adam. He's a beautiful hunk of a man. He's 6'2", athletic, with full head of dark brown hair, a moderately hairy chest, which turns me on, and a face to die for. He's also very loving, affectionate, and sexual. I know he loves me deeply, as I do him, but I could nevertheless imagine him getting hard at the sight of Josie's smooth wet cunt. It bothered me and excited me at the same time. It's not that she is shaved; I've been shaving since I was 20. It's more that I want my own cunt, and only my cunt, to be the one that excites him. The sense of power and excitement that I get by watching his beautiful cock go from flaccid to rigid within seconds of me spreading my legs for him is addictive. At the same time, I can't deny how attractive Josie is and how much I would love to see her spread her legs. I'm a happily married woman who loves her husband and his cock and yet the thought of at least seeing her bare cunt, especially in the presence of my husband, made my nipples stand erect and my clit to get hard.

Adam and I talked about Josie when we went to bed the evening we learned about her bi-sexuality. I was honest with him about my feelings. He told me that the thought of Josie getting fucked in the ass with strap-on dildo was a turn-on. We got very excited as we talked. I eventually looked him in the eyes and said, "You know what I want now, don't you?" He kissed me, sticking his tongue deep into my mouth and grabbed and pinched my nipples. When he released his mouth from mine, he said "Yes,I know."

Adam turned to reach for the lube that he keeps in his side table and simultaneously said "get on your hands and knees. I want to see your beautiful asshole and cunt. Close your eyes and picture Josie with her legs spread in front of you. Imagine that your mouth is inches from her wet slit. But you're not allowed to taste her yet."

Adam got behind me and placed the container of lube on the bed while he pulled my ass cheeks apart.

"My god your cunt is beautiful and it's so wet it's starting to drip. I don't think we'll need the lube for your ass" he said.

"Reach your hand back and get your fingers wet and spread it on your asshole. Imagine that Josie is pulling her lips apart and begging you to lick her."

I desperately needed him to lick me. "Oh Adam, don't tease me. Lick my cunt and my clit. Tell me to lick Josie's cunt," I pleaded. I started to rub my clit and Adam stuck his tongue as deep inside me as he could reach. He drew his tongue up and flicked around my asshole and then back to my wet cunt again.

He pulled his head back and grabbed the lube. "Okay" he said, "lick Josie's cunt. Taste her sweet juices."

He quickly squeezed a dollop of cold lube on my asshole and inserted his middle finger. The coldness of the lube on my sphincter and the sensation of Adam's finger urging it open sent a surge of excitement through my body to my clit. The image in my mind of Josie's cunt in front of my face, the anticipation of Adam's cock going into my ass, and the pleasure that I knew Adam was experiencing at having full access to the pleasure zone between my legs was enough to make me convulse with orgasm.

I needed Adam's cock in me. "Hurry up" I said. "Fuck me."

He slid his hard manhood into my slippery hole and began to pump. When he's very excited, he sometimes will explode inside me pre-maturely. I was concerned that this might be one of those situations.

"How does her cunt taste?" Adam asked.

"It's so sweet. It's so beautiful. Pound my ass" I begged.

"Fuck my ass. Fuck my ass. Fuck my ass," I repeated. I rubbed my clit feverishly. I could feel myself reaching the edge and we had only just begun to hump.

"I'm going to come" muttered Adam. I was afraid that it would happen soon.

I could feel the spasms from his cock as he released into me. Fortunately I was primed myself. His words 'I'm going to come' tipped me over the edge into my own orgasm. "I'm coming" I shouted.

Adam kept his cock in my ass until it got so flaccid it wouldn't stay in any more. The feeling of his big hands on my ass cheeks, pushing them up and apart, put me into a relaxed and meditative state of mind. I became conscious of my body, of my tits hanging below me, of my nipples brushing against the sheets, of the sexually inviting position of my body and the feminine lines and curves that characterize my sex. I felt so relaxed, almost catatonic, from the release of sexual tension and from the love I felt for the man who helped put me into that state that I didn't have the energy to move.

Understanding the almost helpless mental space I was in, Adam pushed me over onto my side. He moved his mouth down to mine. Our lips sealed to each other, our tongues greeted in a courtship dance. The image of me being on my knees in front of him, my mouth swallowing his rigid cock, flashed through my mind, but that would have to wait for another time. The thought gave my pussy the familiar tingle of desire, but I felt tired and he would need at least 20 minutes before he could be ready again.

Adam broke the seal of our lips and said, "I love you. I just fucked Josie's ass, by proxy, and you just ate her out, and she has no idea."

"I think she would get aroused if she knew; particularly the part about you fucking her ass" I said. "That's one fantasy we can keep to ourselves."

For the next three weeks or so all I could think about was Adam fucking Josie's beautiful ass. I masturbated to the thought at least a dozen times. Each time, the scenario in my mind became more elaborate and intense. It was as if I was being swept up in a recurring tornado of sexual desire that was taking over my life. I imagined myself less as a participant and more as the conductor of events. I began talking aloud during these fantasy masturbation sessions, using some the dirtiest, sexiest language my mind could muster. Normally I would tell Adam about strong fantasies like that but I was afraid that by describing it, the fantasy would come true. I was simultaneously repelled and excited by the thought of allowing and watching my husband to have sex with Josie. For the first time in years, I felt afraid of my sexual desires.

Josie and I kept to our Yoga and Spinning routines. I'm sure that in her mind there was nothing new. But there were times, especially during Yoga, when I struggled to fight off panic attacks. The beautiful lines of her lithe body, and the thought of Adam's cock getting hard at the sight of her naked form, that she offered up to him at my command, was almost overwhelming.

At the end of Spinning class one evening after work Josie mentioned that Donna was away and that she was cooking for herself. I felt a flush of heat wash over my body. A window of opportunity to my taboo desire had just opened. I felt a dryness form in my throat.

"Hey buoy" I said as we walked toward our building. "Adam is cooking this evening. Why don't you come over? Its 6:30 now. We'll probably eat at about 8:00. Can you drop by at about 7:30?" "That's a fabulous offer" she said. "I would probably have ordered take out because I don't have the motivation to cook. And I'll get to gaze upon that beautiful husband of yours."

"Some dyke you are" I responded with a smile. "Lusting after cock is something straight women do." A wave of panic passed over me as I made the remark. What would she think of me saying that? Did I cross the line?

Josie looked at me with a grin on her face. "I told you that I dated and had sex with men before I met Donna. My dominant sexual preference is for women but on occasion I yearn for a man. Adam has reminded me of how much pleasure I used to get from men. I've been masturbating a lot lately to the image of a man stroking his hard cock and lusting after my naked body."

My heart began to race. "Can we take a minute and sit" I said, pointing to a bench in a little parkette that was nestled in a cluster of chestnut trees just ahead of us. We reached the bench and sat. I felt a little faint.

"Are you okay" Josie asked with concerned look on her face.

"I'm fine" I said. "I'm having a small panic attack."

Josie put her hand on my hand and said "I didn't know you suffered from panic attacks." "I don't usually" I told her.

"Was it something I said" she responded with a comforting smile on her face. "I'm not trying to steal your husband from you" she said.

"I know" I replied. "I believe you. The thing is that since you mentioned that you have had sex with men and enjoyed it and that you think Adam is sexy, I've been obsessed with images of you and him fucking - in front of me; under my direction. I've masturbated more times to that thought over the past three weeks than I have to anything in recent history. I'm happily married and I'm not into sharing my husband -- unless it was with someone special. You're special. You're also in a solid, loving relationship. Oh my, I've said too much. I'm sorry Josie. I've been a little crazy lately. I don't know. Maybe it's a conflict of sexual impulses or sexuality. Maybe it's my Catholic Church upbringing coming through. I don't know."

I felt embarrassed. Tears welled up in my eyes. The barrage of emotions had me feeling like an emotional wreck.

Josie looked at me. "I have a couple of things I need to tell you Lynn. First I want to show you something." She rolled up the sleeve of her left arm and said "Do you see those faint scars on the underside of my forearm? When I was a teenager I went through psychological hell dealing with my sexuality. I was a slasher. I used to cut myself. The physical pain I induced with a knife substituted for my psychological pain.Fortunately my parents were able to find a good therapist for me. There is nothing wrong with your sexuality or your sexual impulses. Don't apologize. Never apologize. Enjoy life. Enjoy sex. I think you do, so I'm surprised that you would have a panic attack." She paused and looked into my eyes. "Another thing you need to know is that what you just told me made my pussy so wet that my panties are soaked."