Thanksgivings

"You need to get dressed or get pajamas on or something," I told him.

I slipped out the door quickly and headed downstairs to see what was going on. At the bottom of the stairs my bare feet felt the chill of the marbled vestibule. I could hear the crowd of people before I entered the family room, which was full to overflowing. Bubbe was seated in one of the easy chairs with her walker off to the side. To her right sat our Uncle Zefrum and his wife Selma. To her left was Zayde and in front of her stood a very pregnant Sarah with Robert at her side. Our grandmother had her hand on Sarah's belly and was saying how it looked like it was going to be a girl. Bubbe might have been hedging, she was fairly observant and wanted the heritage to be passed on even if her daughter and grand-kids weren't as concerned about it. By strict tradition, a child is Jewish when their mother is, even if the child later becomes an atheist.

I made my way to my sister, Sarah. "Oh my god, when are you due?" I asked when I reached her.

She hugged me close and told me, "December - it might even be on his birthday."

She didn't have to say whose birthday. My tears rushed into my eyes, again. These tautologically tragic and celebratory rhythms kept appearing around these dates forming some kind of nexus. My happiness and sadness left me speechless.

As if she could read my mind, Sarah was hugging me again, "I know, sweetie. You don't know how many times I've cried thinking about exactly the same thing." She paused, looked me in the eyes and took me squarely by the shoulders. "Try to see the good. We have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving."

And she was right! We were blessed in so many ways.

"Why did you guys keep this, a secret?" I whispered.

"I've had several miscarriages and didn't want to get people's hopes up," she said tearing up a bit herself.

"Are you staying over until you deliver?"

"Yes, it is the only way Robert would let me come this late in the pregnancy."

I had been focused on Sarah but during that time, Robert was making the rounds shaking hands with all of his brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. He'd just finished with Mike when Mom was on him hugging him tightly. I made my way to him to tell him how happy I was and how this was going to be quite a Thanksgiving eve. Their news had put a very positive tone on the event that had more recently carried so many melancholy elements.

Nearly everyone that might have come, had. I counted us to be at or over twenty-five. Our Mom's brother, Zefrum, had brought his wife, Selma, Bubbe, Zayde and Mom's uncle, Tom from where most of Mom's family lived outside Manchester New Hampshire. Dad's two remaining bachelor brothers, Eli and Nathan, had made it and brought Grandpa from their home / business near Stowe Mountain. It really was going to be a full house. Even the rooms in the cottage and over the garage were going to be used.

A short time later, the kids were all seen off to their respective bedrooms and put to bed. Afterward, the adults sat, stood or squatted in the family room and kitchen talking into the wee hours of the morning. Around 1:00 AM Mike and I excused ourselves. Some of the older folks had already gone out to their rooms, too. Frank had already made the climb of the stairs with very little help from Dalia. So Mike and I slipped away easily.

The cool air outside was making portions of the house cool as well. Mikes room wasn't cold, but it wasn't completely warm either. I slipped under his big thick royal blue patchwork quilt and shivered at the cool sheets. He turned off the overhead light, then got in beside me and snuggled up to me. His body was trembling as well. I reached to turn off the bedside three-way lamp and he spoke.

"Can you leave it on low for a bit?"

It was a usual request. Before I'd gone off to college, we'd often lie in bed talking. I turned it two clicks, off and then low. Tonight was different though, all Mike wanted was closeness. His arm snaked around my waist. I realized at that moment I hadn't worn any panties beneath my long flannel nightgown. I could soon feel his cock hardening against my hip. Even in the dim light I could see that he was not blushing, actually his face reflected his mood; he was tranquilly at ease but deep in thought. We lay silently for a long while. I couldn't bring myself to say any of the things I was thinking.

"Maya?" he said hesitantly, breaking the silence at last.

"Yes."

"I - um - ", he was silent for several moments and then continued. "I sniffed them."

"What?"

"I sniffed your panties."

"Thanks for telling me," I answered awkwardly. I was a tingle from head to toe, but I didn't really know what else to say. His admission was odd, but very normal at the same time.

There was another long silence. I thought about what he said and the implications. I'd left them on top of the pile I'd placed on the suitcase. They were wet from playing tennis. They were probably very pungent too, from where we'd messed around earlier and the arousal he'd induced in me on the court.

In a flash, I could envision him pressing my panties firmly to his nose and inhaling deeply. After a few moments, that vision was tormenting me and I wished I could have seen him actually sniffing them. Then another thought aroused me even more; what if he'd done that while I'd still had them on? The vision of his nose pressing into me was inexpressible. Why did I think that? Why did I want it so desperately? I wondered again about the woman that resembled me in his dog-eared magazine.

"Maya?"

"Yes."

"Can I smell you?"

There it was - like he was reading my thoughts directly. He was calm. He wasn't touching without asking like earlier or plying me with kisses to enrapture me. He was asking permission to smell me. Considering my response I found that it required my direct admission of my involvement; I couldn't blame my response on a slow titillating buildup of passion. I had only my mind to hold up to the mirror; that was where the blame rested entirely. It was then, in that bittersweet moment, that I found I could no longer be of two minds on this and to my surprise, I accepted it fully.

"Yes," I said in a whisper.

Here in this house full of people we knew and loved, my brother was crawling under the covers to discover my womanhood. Thinking that Mike shouldn't have to do all the work, I hiked my nightgown up slightly. After all, we were in this together as we had always been. The attraction was mutual, neither of us going beyond the other's comfort zone, but gradually pushing the boundaries. Soon he was betwixt my legs and I could feel his warm breath in my full dark bush. My wetness returned and I could feel it starting to creep out from my inner lips.

I fleetingly wondered if he could see it under there. I instantly dismissed the thought, because the quilt was thick and dark. I don't know how long he was down there. Time had lost its consistency for me. His breath on me was intoxicating. It was so erotic feeling, his breath on my pubic hair sent little tingling waves across me there. Without even touching me I could feel my clit and outer lips engorging. My mind wandered, my anticipation - my desire - my love and concern - all formed a swirl of waking dreams - of what it might feel like. I was lost -

"Uh-ah-hum," Mike cleared his throat and is breath became heavier.

He still didn't speak, he kept smelling me, while I drifted off again.

"Maya?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"Can I see you?"

I could anticipate where this was going and I worried a little about how far it might go. How far would I let him go? What might I let him do? My mind was a racing buzz of thoughts and the one thought that kept popping back up was something I now deeply regretted. Why did I ever try to ignore what I'd felt all along?

"Please," he asked. Perhaps realizing he should have included it with the first request.

"Mike?"

"Yes."

"Only, if you love me.

"You know I do."

My regret was what I'd done and hadn't told Mike. In my efforts to try to leave our codependency behind, I'd tried to be 'normal' and have a boyfriend in college. It was dumb - he'd been an oaf. He was nice at first, but he'd only wanted sex. He never did what I felt Mike was ultimately going to ask to do. He'd never loved me and I hadn't really loved him. In my desperation to ignore my love for my brother, I'd allowed myself to give in to conformity. I let that guy take my virginity and we'd had frequent sex for a few weeks. I'd enjoyed the sex, but he wasn't the right guy so I'd broken it off within a month. At the time I didn't really know why, but right now I knew the real reason. There was only one right guy in the world and he'd been right here all along.

His breath seemed to intensify, I knew he would wait, but he could smell what he wanted. What he wanted to experience with all of his senses: smell, sight, taste and touch; what I wanted him to have. But I needed to tell him before he - before we crossed the rest of these lines. I should have told him before this moment, but couldn't find the words before. It was so unfair to tell him now, but it had to be now. With his breath making me crazy for him to move forward, I had to be truthful and open.

"No matter what?"

"Yes, of course."

"Mike, I had a boyfriend."

"Had?"

"We aren't together anymore, but we had sex."

"Okay," he said thoughtfully. "I still love you."

"Do you love me less?"

"No, definitely not," he said definitively. Then he hesitated a moment, his breath softened and I worried he might change his mind. "Maya, I had a girlfriend too," he admitted finally.

That surprised me. I'd thought he was a virgin and none of his letters had mentioned her. This awkward conversation with the covers between us while his breathing continued on my engorging lips was maddening. However, Mike seemed okay with the whole thing.

"Had?"

"We didn't love one another and she wasn't you, so I broke up with her."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

I answered him by lowering the covers over his back. In the dim light, he could, now, see me as well as smell me. It was exciting and my heart was racing. How long would he wait now before he pressed for the next step?

"You're so beautiful, Maya. I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful."

His words melted me. I could feel my excitement building, my lips, hood and clitoris engorging more. I resisted the urge to rub myself and spread the moisture.

"Do you ever touch it - I mean - to masturbate?"

I coughed at his question; it was like he was reading my thoughts again.

"Sometimes," I whispered. "Don't you?"

"Yeah, of course - sometimes - a lot." Then he was silent again for a few moments. "Could I see how you do it?" he asked at length.

I couldn't have imagined his request. I'd expected he'd ask to touch me, but he seemed to be analyzing how I worked. It was so sweet and true to character - he always wanted to know how everything worked. Understanding his curiosity, my hands simply moved into motion. Using the fingers of the left hand, I spread and rub my lips. The fingers of my right hand alternated rubbing my clit and sinking inside to spread the flow of my juice so they would glide more easily. I watched Mike's eyes widen and his breathing pick up again.

Quickening the pace a bit, I began focusing on massaging my clit between the moistened fingers of my right hand. My face flushed as I stared directly at Mike. I rubbed in small circles periodically pressing those two fingers back inside. Mike's gaze upon me made it all the more exciting, I could sense that he wanted to assist, but was waiting, learning and absorbing everything I was doing to make myself climax.

That thought enthralled me to show him. I watched him watching me until I climaxed and at which point my eyes closed tightly. It wasn't a big one, but it was so nice and showing him had also calmed me a bit. When I reopened my eyes, I found him wide-eyed and watching my hand as it still moved slowly over the outer lips avoiding any further direct stimulation of my nubbin. I could feel myself contracting and pushed two fingers back inside again. Light waves of pleasure continued as Mike looked onward and I found his continued loving gaze upon me endearing and erotic at the same time.

"Was that it? Did you - um -"

"Yes, I did - a few times."

"Can I taste?"

He hadn't touched me, not there, not yet. He'd rubbed me through my panties earlier, before tennis, but now with his hands on my legs and his head at my naked crotch, he'd still made no physical contact. His breath alone had touched me there. I could hear him breathing, smelling and inhaling my scent. He would take this only as far as I allowed. His strength of will and restraint inspired me; made me think that perchance we would be okay, in time.

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Yes, definitely."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, you can," I whispered.

Eagerly anticipating this new sensation, I removed my hands and leaned back on my elbows to watch. He started slowly, lowering his head to me and his tongue licked lightly. Tentatively he pressed passed it through my hair parting my outer lips. My lips were already in a heightened state and his rough tongue felt fantastic as he gently licked me, working me into a frenzy. The moistness continued to flow and he soon found it with his tongue. He licked more confidently now and then drove his tongue into me further to get more.

My brother was a natural cunnilinguist. His fingers soon pressed the hair out of the way and he sucked my lips into his mouth fully. There he diddled them lavishly with his tongue. In my excitement, I lifted my nightgown higher with my hands and then found his long hair. I ran my fingers through it as he lapped at me unconstrained. Wishing to give him fuller access, I pulled my gown even higher while lifting and spreading my legs. He wordlessly acknowledged this by tonguing me more deeply and sucking on the inner lips playfully.

"Uhhh -" I moaned softly. My head rotated from side to side, as a new small orgasm started to build into a larger one.

Soon he had me trembling through the best orgasm I'd had in my young life. Quickly, I removed my hands from his hair and found his pillow to cover my face as I felt it continuing to build. I wanted to watch, but I could feel how loud I wanted to cry out and took the precaution. Soon I was moaning and nearly bleating into the pillow. Mike continued and soon he took my clitoris between his lips and sucked and licked me savagely.

I was in ecstasy as my muffled "Ooooooohhhhhh" began. My body quaked and spasmed violently but Mike clung to my hips as I spread my legs into a nearly full split.

"Faaaaaaaaaaaak," I shouted against the royal blue fabric, desperately hoping no one would hear.

His rapacious plunder of my vagina with his mouth was soon rewarded with more of my natural lubricant which he slurped from me with wanton abandon. My climax seemed to drag through the fabric of time as it washed over me. Mike stopped his assault, but continued to lick me gently gathering any and all fluid that appeared.

Finally, my spasms began to relax. I replaced the pillow at his spot and lie there regaining my equanimity. He soon joined me with his head back on the pillow beside me. He had a very satisfied look about his face in the dim light from the nightstand. I rolled to my side so I could kiss him. I could taste the muskiness, which was me, on his lips. A long and contentious tongue battle ensued. I clearly had the upper hand since he'd spent so long pleasuring me with his. Soon he relinquished and I was sucking his tongue suggestively. Ultimately, not wanting to hurt him, I released him and gave him the praise he deserved.

"Mike, that was unbelievable," I panted. "I've never had an orgasm like that, ever."

"I love you," he said. The truth of his statement shown in his adoring blue eyes. "I love how you smell and look and feel and taste. I love how you care for me. I love that you saved me. But most of all I love that you love me in spite of me."

"Mike never - never think there is anything wrong with you. I love you because you are you."

I hugged him close. "No one has ever done that to me, you can't believe how good that was."

"My girlfriend wouldn't let me, she said it was gross and she only wanted 'to fuck'."

She didn't know what she was missing. I could feel his penis pressing hard against his boxers and pajama bottoms. He wasn't pushing me to do anything, but I wanted to repay the ecstasy he'd given me. And if she'd rejected him giving her pleasure with his mouth, then she'd probably rejected giving him any with hers.

"Mike?" I asked, pulling him from his daze.

"Yes."

"Can I do that for -"

"Maya, you would do that for me?" he cut me off.

"Yes, I want to. I wanted to earlier," I admitted.

I helped him out of his pajama bottoms and boxers. His cock sprang forward. I threw the clothing to the floor. When I had seen it before that afternoon, it wasn't as excited. It might have been this excited in our morning make out session, but I hadn't seen it. It was fairly excited when we changed to play tennis and again when I stepped from the shower, but those had seemed so brief and distant. Up close it was amazing. His dark hairy pubic mound had a long thickly veined cock growing out of it.

I didn't like myself for comparing, but it was only the second penis I'd seen this close. Both Mike's length and girth made Randy seem like a little boy. The crown was nearly purple and I could see it expand with his quickening heartbeat. I began lifting his shirt over his head. I wanted him fully nude like I'd seen him at the shower earlier. His chest and midriff showed his underlying muscles I'd seen before in the bathroom. Now, however, I saw more clearly the trail of dark brown hair from his navel to his man-root, contrasted with the very light amount of hair upon his chest, which only had a few sprouting from around his nipples. The only other areas of hair seemed to be his underarms, as even his legs were mostly hairless.

I removed my nightgown now and it joined the pile unceremoniously. He had seen my breasts when I exited the shower but now that he had complete access to them, he groped and cupped them lightly, even as I took his penis in my hands. I moved lower to take him into my mouth, there I found a little dollop of precum resting atop of his slit and I licked it off. Mike responded with a moan and his cock swelled a bit more when my tongue rasped across the mushroomed crown.

I stroked him gently at the root of his manhood while I sucked the full bulb into my mouth. I pressed more and more of him into my mouth with each stroke. Randy was so small he'd fit in my mouth without effort, but I could barely get Mike in half way. I'd heard some of the girls on campus talking about that movie that had recently come out a few years before but couldn't imagine getting Mike all the way in like that. I used my full hand and all of my mouth to work him for several minutes until he was nearly ready to climax. I backed off when I started to feel him tense. It was awful of me to do but I thought perhaps he'd forgive me.

"Mike?"

"Uhh-huh?" he asked weakly.

"Would you make love to me this Thanksgiving?"

His eyes flashed. He knew that it was Thanksgiving already.

"Yes," he said calmly.

His restraint was simply superhuman.

"We've got to be quiet, though. Can you be quiet enough?"

After a long pause, I admitted, "No." I pouted. "Sorry, I really didn't mean to tease you. Maybe we can find someplace in the morning," I said dejectedly.

Then I resumed my manipulation of him. I could have said 'yes' and screamed into the pillow again but I wanted to see him when he entered me and came inside. I knew even from the mediocre sex I'd had with Randy; I was usually vocal. I redoubled my efforts for making him wait. I licked him around his hairy scrotum. I even tried to push him into my throat but couldn't get past the gag reflex. I jerked him tightly with one hand and worked his balls lightly with the other as I felt him nearing climax. Soon I was rewarded with warm jets of ejaculate blasting against the roof of my mouth. It was so sweet and tangy and sticky. He had a lot for me and I swallowed it all.