That Side of Campus

"And, of course, don't forget our exam is this upcoming Friday," the professor droned on. "It will be worth 40% of your grade..."

Astronomy was secretly one of my favorite subjects, which I took under the guise of a General Elective, so my friends wouldn't think I'm too nerdy. But this professor was so boring that I usually had a difficult time focusing. I could probably just study outside of class and still get a good grade. I didn't need to attend the lectures, but I did.

Because of him.

I first noticed him three months ago, surrounded by all of his friends, more than half of whom were attractive girls, flashing that broad smile that I wished was for me. I've only been admiring him from afar. He was tall, looked muscular, with wide shoulders, and a touch of 5'o clock shadow that complemented his masculine jawline. Oh, and he's Asian as well.

I turned around and saw him looking directly at me with a knowing smirk on his face that slowly turned into a light smile. Mortified, I quickly looked away as I felt color rush to my cheeks.

"Stupid Kaitlyn," I chastised myself. Why didn't I just smile back? People complimented me on my smile all the time. I was crowned most photogenic in high school. When I finally worked up the nerve to look back towards his direction, he was deeply engrossed in another conversation with this pretty Asian girl.

I didn't even know his name. Come to think of it, I never saw him outside of our lecture hall.

Papers started rustling and movable desks slammed against the backs of chairs. Students began to rise. Class was over.

"Wanna come with us to lunch, Kait?" Jessica asked.

"Nah, I can't, I have to go to cheerleading practice."

"You're coming out tomorrow tonight, tho? Gamma Epsilon is throwing their semester party. Everyone's gonna be there," said Ashely.

"Nah, I need to study for this exam," I replied.

"What you need is a boyfriend," Ashley said.

"Brad Coster was looking for you," Jessica added in a singsong manner.

"I don't need anyone," I said defiantly. "And Brad Coster? The Grade A creep who only got in because he's a legacy?"

"You have to admit, he's good looking."

"Looks don't make up for being a douche."

"Yea well, he's popular, and he's in Ep," Ashley calmly said with a casual note of finality. Gamma Epsilon was our "brother" fraternity and the top house on the block, but that just meant they were bigger jerks than everyone else.

"Let her study," Jessica smirked. "We need someone to cheat off."

I rolled my eyes as we parted ways. I started walking to the field.

==

He was clearly looking at me, wasn't he? Just a moment ago, I wished he didn't notice me, but now, I'm really hoping he did. I feel way too nervous around him to do anything, much less make a move.

I had never even thought about dating an Asian guy. All of my past love interests were white, simply because that's what was available. In fact, most of the Asian men that came to mind were very attractive, but I never actually pictured my significant other as Asian, until now.

I probably don't even exist to him.

But then why would he look at me? Do Asian guys even like White girls?

My first thought was yes, what am I so worried about? All of my sorority sisters compliment my face and my body. Guys hit on me all the time. White guys, Black guys, hell even a few Latinos when she went into the city to party.

But never an Asian man.

Even those times when I saw them in the mess halls, or the classrooms, or the dormitories, I would smile at them. Some would return a grin, but then avert their gaze. Others just looked away. Most times, they seemed distant, aloof. Yet their enigma and mysterious aura are what drew me to them in the first place.

"Why? Do they not like white girls?" A slight pang of disappointment crept down her throat. "But if I'm going to stereotype them like this, how I can expect them to like me? They probably suspect me."

But how do they know? They're not inside my head! They're assuming something about me!

But they'd be right!

But that doesn't make it right!

Confused, angry, and ashamed, I tried to quiet the barrage of emotions inside me when I suddenly felt a human presence next to me.

"Kaitlyn, right? How are you?" she said with a broad smile. I smiled back, trying my best not to display how startled I was to see her. How did she catch up to me? She was a fast walker, as I noted her athletic legs.

"Dawn," I quickly chirped. The high voice that escaped my mouth did not sound like mine.

"I feel like I've worked with everyone on the team except you. How about you be my practice partner today?"

"Sounds good to me," I smiled.

We never had a conversation alone, just the two of us. Usually, we were in a large group with the others on the team. But Dawn seemed at ease with carrying the conversation. She was also a great practice partner, since this is her third year on the team. I was glad to have this opportunity to bond with her. I don't have many Asian friends.

"Hey!" Dawn said loudly, nodding her head at a distance. Practice was over, so people started to enter and exit the room. Sounds of indiscriminate chatter began to filter through my ears. I turned around to see who she was motioning towards. It was him.

"Good, you're here. Give me a second, I'll be right back," she said. The thumping in my chest grew louder and louder the farther Dawn walked away, leaving me alone with him. Part of me thought I should look anywhere but at him, but I didn't want to come off as super awkward. I was not ready for this.

"You're in my astronomy class, aren't you?"

I forced myself to look at his face and could feel his eyes bore into mine. A shade of dark brown that sent shivers down my spine. I opened my mouth and closed it, no words coming out, and then resigned to nodding vigorously. What the hell was wrong with me? Was my heartbeat preventing me from speaking?

"I'm Damien," he said, extending his large forearm.

"Kaitlyn," I finally said. He smiled a little wider. He probably thinks I'm the dumbest girl in the world right now.

"Have you been preparing for the exam?" he asked.

"Uh, not really," I laughed nervously. Why did I suddenly feel guilty, like a child caught in wrong-doing?

"Don't worry, you're not alone," he said with a twinkle in his eye. "My friends are going out to party instead."

In retrospect, it probably wasn't that much of a coincidence that our friends partied on Thursday night. After all, our University was ranked 2^nd wildest in America. But at that moment, I pictured us, the only responsible students, together.

"So are mine," I laughed.

"Join me tomorrow night," he simply said with a light smile. "I could use a new study partner."

I found myself nodding my head slowly, my eyes wide. He gave me his phone and I put my number in. Just then, Dawn returned with a package in her hand. "Here, your brother will want this," she said.

"Bye Dawn, and Kaitlyn, I'll see you soon."

"Ok," I said breathlessly.

His amazing, dark brown eyes gazed into my blue, and I wondered if he knew that I had watched him, studied him, fantasized about him this entire semester?

I liked the way he said my name.

My insides soared. He asked me for my phone number. He wants us to study together. Does he...could he...possibly be interested in me?

==

Back in my room, I decided to look him up on Facebook and see what kind of person he was like. I finally had a first name, albeit no last name. However, I quickly found him among a list and saw his pictures. Most of them seemed only open to friends, but the ones shown to the public featured him surrounded by friends at the beach, the football games, the nightclubs.

"Oh, you didn't tell me he was Asian. He's good-looking!"

We searched him up on Facebook and to my relief, my roommate Heather didn't seem to look down on his race.

"So this is the guy you've been fantasizing about huh? I think you guys would look hot together haha."

I smiled wistfully and said, "Well he only asked me to study with him. Might not lead anywhere."

"Oh come on, you're a hot girl. Why wouldn't he possibly want you?"

"I don't know, when was the last time an Asian guy hit on you?"

Heather gave serious pause, her forehead scrunching up in thought.

"Hm, that is weird. Do they not like us?"

A bright smile wiped any confusion from her face. "Oh don't worry about that. He's gonna love you!"

At this point, I was sure she was just humoring me to boost my confidence. Smirking to myself, she's a good friend.

==

As I walked past the Blufen statue, I saw girls wearing dresses that left little to the imagination and guys wearing tuxedos, trying so hard to be cool. But it is another college night out. I would have felt miserable if I had to study by myself, but tonight, I would study with Damien. My nerves spiked a little when I thought his name.

Butterflies began to flutter at the bottom of my stomach. He was wearing a form-fitting black shirt that accentuated his build. Up close, I could really appreciate his confident posture and broad shoulders.

I must have had a dazed look on my face, because he had a slight grin on his face. A tinge of red crept across my cheeks. But before I could form another thought, he whispered, "You look incredible." Making sure to bat my eyelashes, I smiled shyly and said "Thanks." If only my friends could see me now...

"Come," he said loudly. "We've got a lot of studying to do and not a lot of time."

He led the way and I quickly followed. I noticed that he took long, confident strides, yet never to far ahead that I fell behind.

"Your tote bag, are you in the Greek system?"

"Oh yes! Kappa Zeta Gamma," I said happily, glad to have a topic of conversation to discuss.

"I am as well, Delta Iota Alpha."

My confusion must have shown on my face, because he continued, "one of the Asian interest ones."

"Oh," I said. White and Asian Greek life didn't usually mix, but if it were up to me, things would change. "You guys have some really big houses."

"We have the biggest one, right in the middle of Ridgewood Hill," he replied. I wonder if he would invite me over there sometime. I would love to check out that side of campus.

At first, I was afraid that he and I may not have much in common. But it turns out that he was born and raised in our home state, just like me, and his parents were alums of our university as well. I told him I came from a small, mostly white town, while he hailed from one of the larger cities. He was a captain of his high school football team, the Sabertooth Eagles, playing outside linebacker. For a split second, I thought back to my quarterback ex-boyfriend in high school, who was a cheating asshole that couldn't last more than two minutes in bed. But then I remembered who I was listening to and pushed all other thoughts out of my mind. Damien's different, better.

"Well, I mainly joined because my mother was also part of the sorority and she seemed to have such a fun time. Everyone says it's the best way to fit in, but sometimes, I feel like I don't."

I immediately caught myself. Have I revealed too much? He probably thinks I'm shy and awkward now. But he just smiled and said, "I know. We all just want to belong." Coming from him, it didn't sound like a cheesy line, but like he truly understood what makes me tick.

Or was I just imagining everything? For goodness sake's, Kaitlyn, you've just met the guy!

But Damien was unique.

"It's ok, I don't fit in much either."

"Really, I see you with your big group of friends all the time, the center of attention."

"So you've been watching me this whole time?"

I blushed and looked away, at a loss for words.

"I've noticed you as well, the cute blonde with bangs."

His dark eyes shone with quiet intensity, that same shade of brown, my favorite.

I chuckled anxiously, and brushed my hair behind my ears. My elbow accidently bumped my folder and the papers on top, scattering them all over the floor.

"oh, haha," I said lacking conviction as my cheeks turned a deep crimson red. I felt like a klutz as I hopped off the chair to pick up papers with equations and formulas. But he hopped down to help me.

"Well I suppose we should study now," he smiled.

Turns out Damien had a very good grasp on the material. We discussed a number of concepts and problems and even though I already knew most of what he was saying, I was content to just listen and watch him speak. He spoke words with confidence, passing those lips that I wanted to kiss. My eyes rested on his torso and broad chest. How do his abs look?

A long bang interrupted my train of thought! The doors burst open and a bunch of people were shouting and screaming our school name. The intensity of our moment must have mentally blocked the sounds of their movement from the fall.

We drew back from one another and the next thing I know, Damien is swarmed by a bunch of his friends, a large group of Asian guys and girls. Horns were suddenly blaring and I heard wild and abandon chatter.

A drink was shoved in my hand. An Asian girl was pushing me towards the center.

In the midst of the chaos, I suddenly felt a rough palm against mine. It was Damien and with a tug of the hand, we were heading down a set of stairs, away from the throngs and sounds of college campus night life. After navigating through a set of underground hallways, we arrived at the astronomy tower. The elevator was very large and fit for dozens of people. Damien pulled out a key card and swiped, then pressing the highest button. That card didn't seem like something he should have, but I didn't question it.

==

Damien was holding my hand. Because of all the commotion, I hadn't noticed til now. His golden tan skin tone looked so...appealing next to my pasty white skin. I absentmindedly squeezed his hand. He turned towards me and smiled.

The doors opened and I felt a fresh burst of wind upon my face. Still holding my hand, Damien led me towards a bench on the balcony.

"Wow, I've never been up here before."

"Their pregames on our floor go wild. We weren't going to be able to study in there."

"Oh is that why you brought me up here," I said suggestively. "To study?" I nudged his arm. His triceps felt strong.

"Oh definitely," he said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "No ulterior motives here."

I laughed and moved closer to him, feeling more comfortable by the second.

"So is that what you say to all the girls you bring up here before you seduce them?" I teased.

"Only the best looking ones on campus,"

"Ha ha," I said, rolling my eyes, with a big grin on my face.

His brown eyes gleamed in the nightlight.

"A nice, secluded, spot that few people know about. Gives me a chance to step back from campus while still on campus. I like to come up here to escape, destress."

"I never thought about it like that. This sounds like the perfect place for that," I said.

"...and over there, you'll see Ganymede Woods, where everyone goes to smoke and drink..." Even though I was looking right at his lips, I could barely register what he was saying. And those big hands, I bet they'd feel good against my butt cheeks. The Asian man of my dreams was talking to me. Were stars and moons always this seductive? The feeling was surreal.

"Kait," he said suddenly.

"Wha...huh?"

"You're staring again," he said with a light smile. "Are you distracted?"

"Uh, sorry, I guess I was," I said.

He slid closer towards me so that now, our knees were touching. I looked away, but felt his fingers softly on my chin, turning my head back towards him. I'm glad he did. Oh the emotions that conflicted inside me. The gleam in his eyes pared well with the look of lust on his face.

"You make me nervous," I admitted.

"Let me fix that for you," he said.

I had eyes for no one but him. I tilted my head in anticipation. He was so close now, I could smell his breath, a touch of peppermint. Our lips touched and my hand slid up to grip his arm as I melted into him. He licked my bottom lip, then my upper lip, and then slid his tongue in my mouth. Heat surged through my body as my tongue tentatively brushed up against his. Much too soon, he pulled away.

"Feel better?" he asked genuinely.

"No," I said shakily, my breathing a little uneven. "I feel even more nervous now. How do you kiss like that?"

"So you want another one?"

"Yes, no, wait, I don't know..." I said.

He chuckled and gripped my hand tighter.

"I just met you. I barely know you," I shook my head slightly.

"But doesn't that make things...more exciting?"

"It's just, I don't normally do this sort of thing. My friends all think I'm a prude because I don't sleep around like they do. And I don't even judge them! Their choices are theirs. Why don't they leave me alone? They'd be shocked if they knew what was going on right -

He pulled me in for another kiss, silencing my rambling. I could feel the air leave my lungs as his tongue found my mouth. I moaned as he brushed my hair away, then holding me by the chin. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I looked at his face, so handsome and chiseled. He looked like he just walked off a movie set.

"How about this? Come out with me tomorrow night. We're throwing some pregame celebrations before the big game this weekend."

"Are you asking me out?"

"This isn't nothing, you know. We have a connection, let's see where this goes."

I nodded, still processing the moment. Damien was asking me out.

- and you have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen."

"I want you," I whispered. Was I too bold? What could a hot Asian guy like him see in a White girl like me? Would he reciprocate these feelings? But before my insecurities could overwhelm me, he grabbed my arms and I didn't resist. His lips felt so good against mine. His tongue quickly darted into my mouth, sending jolts through my muscles. Damien knew what he wanted and took it. I finally was able to rest my hand on his chest and found smooth, hard, pecs. He worked out and I loved it. His lips then found the side of my neck and I inhaled sharply, a rush of autumn air and his masculine scent. His hand found the side of my midriff and then his finger curled around my bra strap. Most guys wouldn't dare try this with me, especially after just meeting me, but I can't lie, his boldness ignited warm feelings inside me.

"Oh, Damien," I couldn't help but moan. He chuckled and pulled me onto his lap. I felt myself faltering under his dark almond gaze.

"Partiers should be gone by now. You should see my room." His commanding use of innuendo was so seductive. I could only meekly nod.

==

Contrary to popular perceptions of a college frat boy's dorm room, Damien's was very tidy. He had lava lamps on the corners and posters of our school and our team. The dark, red drapes were down.

"My roommate should be out for the night, but who knows, he might be back soon," he said.

I pulled myself towards him and planted my lips firmly upon his. I forced my tongue into his mouth, aching to taste him. My nose was rewarded with his warm, masculine scent. I rubbed the side of my head against his large palm as his fingers ran through my long hair. I love it when a man does that. Then his fingers crept down my shoulders and down the side of my shirt, while his lips found the sweet spot of my neck, right beneath my ear, and bit there lightly, using just enough force to make me sigh. His hand was underneath my shirt and feeling my midriff audaciously, like he was staking his territory.

I grabbed the hem of my blue shirt and pulled it over my shoulders. The gleam of the moon light shining through the window against my light skin brought out my insecurities again. Would he still find me physically desirable? I kept my hands at my side, even though a small part of me wanted to cover up again.