That Was Then - This is Now Pt. 01

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Cheating happens with dire consequences.
13.2k words
4.61
65.8k
103

Part 1 of the 3 part series

Updated 10/25/2022
Created 11/01/2014
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Note to readers, if you want lots of wham, bam, thank you mam then this isn't for you. Part 1 deals with what happened and why, 2 & 3 deal with the aftermath. This touches on depression and attempted suicide, subjects I'm all too familiar with. If this subject disturbs you, I suggest you pass this one over.

*****

Chapter 1

On my way to Monday classes I had to stop at my girlfriends' apartment to pick up some items I'd left there yesterday. I got to the 4th floor and opened the door, using the key that she had given me months ago. I really didn't expect anyone to be there, she should have been at school, so I was surprised to hear some moans coming from the bedroom down the hall. Had I not had to go into the second bedroom that served as an office/computer room, I probably would never have heard the moaning.

My curiosity aroused, I walked silently down to the bedroom door that was open just a few inches. There on the bed was my beloved Erica with one of the football players pounding into her. The moans I heard were Erica approaching orgasm. Her head was thrown back on the bed, eyes rolled to the back of her head as she called out for Brad, the football player, to give her more and more.

I was in total shock but I did grab my cell and take a few photos and a short video of her calling out that she had never had it so good and that he (Brad) was getting better every time. My heart sank to the floor to find that not only was the love of my life cheating, she'd probably been doing it for quite awhile. How long, I didn't know, or at this point, care.

I turned away from the bedroom, tears blurring my eyes and heart breaking in my chest. Instead of leaving right away, I took the time to quickly and quietly as possible pack up my laptop and all the various disks and items of mine that were in the computer room. I just tossed them into the bag, not worrying about neatness or order as I usually would. I had no plans of ever coming back here again. There were some clothes in the bedroom closet as well. Obviously, there was no way to get them. I didn't care anymore at that point. As I walked out, I took a quick look around, and spied a photo of me and Erica in better times sitting on the coffee table. There were some highlighters and markers on the dining table that served as her desk. I took the black one and with a heavy heart, in large, bold strokes, put an X across the photo, then placed it on the table next to the books that Erica was supposedly studying. She wouldn't be able to miss it, or the message.

I left the apartment as silently as I had come, throwing my key on the floor just inside the door. I wouldn't need it again. I don't think they even heard me leave, or knew that I had been there.

* * * *

A little about Erica and me. My name is Evan Wright. I'm not what you'd call good looking or a jock or anything. I've got brown straight hair that I wear fairly short and grey eyes. I'm not overly muscular or anything, but not a bunch of flab either. I think average would be a good description. I grew up in a small town in the interior of British Columbia. Erica Simms and her family had moved into our neighbourhood when Erica was three. I was a year older. Her parents and mine became close friends over the years and Erica and I basically grew up together. She was my best friend, and we shared everything throughout the years, from the first date to the first kiss (on the swing behind her house) to almost the first everything. Through junior high school and then high school we were pretty much inseparable. We became known as E2 since she was Erica and I was Evan.

We gave our cherries to each other the night of my graduation prom. It wasn't the normal quickie in the backseat of a car at lover's lane, but a night of unbridled sex and passion in a hotel suite near downtown. While our parents weren't thrilled with it, they accepted the inevitable. My dad even remarked that he was surprised that we had waited that long. Though we had done some heavy petting and oral through high school we had made a pact that we would hold off on "doing it" until I graduated. It was magnificent, and I pictured the two of us together forever.

Even when I went away to college, we kept in touch and she would come to visit me or I'd come home on weekends. During the year that I was in college and she was finishing high school I don't think we spent any more than ten weekend days apart except during exams. Then it was a little longer but not much.

When Erica graduated, she got a full ride scholarship to the same college I was attending. Her major was biology with a view to the future in the medical field. I was working my way through as a tech support guy for the college computer network. As well as getting a fairly good pay cheque, the experience was invaluable since it mirrored real world conditions that I would eventually move on to. Already I had had some head-hunters showing an interest in me because of my grades, and the work I did on the college computer network. I also did some one-on-one tutoring for some of the students who needed help in math or some other courses related to the computer systems program.

When Erica started at the college, she didn't want any part of the dorm life, and the thought of sororities and that lifestyle left her cold, so she coerced her father into renting an apartment not too far from the college. I, on the other hand, lived in the dorms because it was affordable, and I was paying my own way. My parents couldn't afford to pay my way through college, but the job with a good pay cheque, as well as the money I made tutoring, made my life fairly comfortable for a student. I hardly ever saw my roommate, but we seemed to get along just fine. Neither one of us were partiers, and Ed, my roommate, was one of the quietest and cleanest college guys you'd ever find. Granted, our room could usually be cluttered and messy, but we weren't really slobs.

Anyway, with Erica living not too far away and having her own apartment, it was like we had died and gone to heaven. We quickly fell into a routine that had us together one or two nights a week and inseparable on weekends. I'd come over to the apartment on Friday afternoon after finishing class. By the time Erica got home, I'd have dinner started (yup, I can cook) and a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. Life was good, and I thought we would eventually move on to the next logical step of becoming man and wife once we had finished our schooling.

Well, that was then, this is now.

* * * *

After leaving the apartment for my last time I trudged back to the college, my gut feeling like I was going to be sick any second and my heart just absolutely crying. I didn't even bother going to class. There was no way I'd get anything out of the lectures in my present mindset. I dropped of my stuff in my dorm, and made my way over to the cafeteria that was sort of a central meeting place for all the students. I didn't want company, so I grabbed a large coffee, black no sugar, and found a table way in a secluded corner where I could just sit by myself and ponder the events of the morning. I had just sat down when my cell buzzed. Erica. I didn't answer just let it go to voicemail. Then I programmed the phone to block any more calls from her cell, the landline at the apartment, and even her number back at home. Let her call, it would go nowhere now.

I don't know how long I'd been sitting there; long enough for my coffee to get cold. I'd hardly touched it. I gradually became aware of a person sitting across and down at the other end of the table. It was Frances Brown, a classmate. She was one of those people you would never notice in a crowd. Very quiet and introverted. I don't think we'd spoken more than half a dozen times in the two plus years we'd been in the same program. She was known as one of the brains of the class but I'd never had any real interaction with her. I had never seen her at any of the functions, and couldn't even recall seeing her dating anyone. She was the type of person that seemed to be taken for granted. There, but not really there. Like I said, she is the type you wouldn't really notice. The few times we had spoken, I recalled being quite comfortable talking to her.

Anyway, I became aware that she was talking. "Evan, you okay? You weren't at the lectures this morning. Not that you missed much. Old man Adams went off on one of his tangents and wasted a whole period. You look like a big thundercloud is hanging over your head. You okay?"

I waited a second or two, trying to figure out what to say to her without losing it. "Hi Fran, yeah it's not a good day." I didn't elaborate further.

"You need someone to talk to? I'm a great listener."

"I don't ... I'm not sure that...God Fran," I began to do exactly what I'd feared and could feel the tears welling in my eyes. "It's just that I...I...oh goddammit, I caught Erica with one of the football players - Brad the linebacker."

"What do you mean you caught..." the question died on her lips as she realized what I was saying, "Oh my God Evan, I'm so, so sorry. You two seemed to be destined..."

"I guess "seemed" is a pretty good description. I don't think I ever want to see her again. And as for Brad...well let's just say I hope they're happy together." My voice must have been rising since I could see some others at nearby tables looking over my way. I got up from the table and made my way out of the cafeteria and began walking back to my dorm. Actually, I didn't want to go there either.

Almost numb, I stood just inside an emergency exit and the tears began in earnest. I don't know how long I stood there, tears pouring down my face. I noticed that Frances had joined me, just standing beside me quietly, not saying anything. Just watching.

"Go away Fran. I'm lousy company. You don't need any of this." I angrily wiped the tears from my face. "Just leave me. Go."

She didn't move, instead placed her small hand on my arm. "Evan, you're hurting right now. You need someone to talk to, to listen. It'll help you through the pain, and you must be in so much pain. I don't think I can even really understand it. But I'm a good listener."

I started walking, going nowhere in particular. I sensed, more than saw that Frances was walking with me. Almost unconsciously I began to relate how we had grown up together, became lovers when I graduated from high school, and how our love had grown over the past year in college. Then I told her about what had happened this morning. We'd walked a good long way, and found ourselves in a neighbourhood quite a way from the college.

"Evan, I have to ask. Did you actually see them...?"

I abruptly cut her off and angrily said, "See them. Yeah I saw them. Fucking like two rabbits in heat!" I pulled my phone out of my pocket and brought up the photos I had taken that morning showing the date and time, then to ice the cake, I showed Frances the video where Erica was crying out how good Brad was, and she'd never had it so good. Frances watched the video and her eyes got bigger and bigger, and her face quickly became bright red.

"My God, I've never seen anything like that. I've heard of it, but didn't think I'd ever see it, let alone with people I knew." She was almost stuttering the words because of the effect the video had on her. "My God, my God," she kept whispering.

"Seen enough? I have. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with this, but it will be something. As the saying goes, don't get mad, get even, and I WILL get even." I almost spat the words out. "I will get even. Oh my God Erica. Why? Why? Why?" I began to lose it again and collapsed onto a nearby transit bench.

To give her credit, Fran didn't try to stop the tears this time either. She just sat there and watched my world implode. After awhile, she quietly said, "Evan, let's get back or we're gonna get soaked. Rain's coming and it's supposed to be a hell of a storm."

"You go ahead. Just leave me. You don't need any of this grief, and it has nothing to do with you."

"You're right. It has nothing to do with me. But I see a friend, well a classmate anyway, who's hurting. Hurting terribly. I don't really know the hurt you're going through, but I know it's bad. Don't you think for a second that this is some kind of burden you're laying on me. You're hurting and I want to help."

"Yeah, whatever. Fran I appreciate what you're saying. I do, really. But right now I think it's best that I be alone. Just me and that huge cloud over my head. Please, just go. I'll be okay."

"Okay Evan. I'm going. But if you need a sympathetic ear here's my cell. You're the only one I've given it to so I'd appreciate it if you don't give it out."

"Thanks Fran. If I need a shoulder, you'll be the first."

"I hope so." With that she gathered her things together and began the long walk back to campus. I just sat on the bench, starring at the ground. There must have been half a dozen busses go by, each one stopping for this dejected looking man, and each in turn being waved on.

After awhile I stirred and began walking back to campus, the rain had started. It got heavier and heavier but he hardly noticed. By the time I got back to the dorms, I was absolutely drenched and chilled to the bone. Shivering, I stripped of my wet clothes and went into the shower. The hot water chased away the chill, and I tried to formulate a plan. It didn't work. I was just too numb, too hurt. I got out of the shower, pulled on some sweats and collapsed onto my bunk. I pulled the covers up over my head, and quickly, mercifully went to sleep.

Sometime later, the strident ringing of the phone on his desk woke me. Let it ring. There was no one I wanted to talk to. It went to the answering machine.

"Evan, Evan. It's me, Erica. Pick up. Please oh please pick up. Please, let me explain. It's not..."

I got up from the bed and pulled the phone plug out of the wall. Explain? What to explain? She cheated on me. By her own words, it wasn't the first time, just the first time they got caught.

I went back to bed. This time sleep eluded me.

Chapter 2

Next morning my mood matched exactly the dark, threatening sky. I decided that I should at least try to attend lectures today. Maybe they'll take my mind off of the hurt, for at least a little while. I wasn't really hungry, but stopped off at the cafeteria and grabbed a large coffee, then made my way to the computer lab. Rules said that there wasn't supposed to be any food or drink in the lab, but today I didn't care about the rules.

I went to a computer at the back of the room instead of my usual place closer to the front. Today was just a lecture so seating didn't matter. Hardly anyone noticed that I was there. I looked around and noticed that Fran wasn't there yet. Not like her to be late for, let alone miss, a class. The lecture began and I was able, for a short while, put all the events of yesterday on the back shelf. Later, I found myself wondering what English was going to be like, since Erica and I shared that class. I remembered that quite a few players from the football team were in that class too, along with us "nerds" from the computer science program. Oh well, I'd have to cross that bridge when I got to it, but I sure wasn't looking forward to the ordeal.

Ultimately the lecture ended, and I was off to English. I had really considered skipping this class, and just getting the notes from one of the other students, but then I thought to myself that neither Erica nor Brad were going to cause me to miss anymore classes if I could help it. The best thing I could do was show up, and just totally ignore them. The best revenge for now was to graduate with a 4.0. I'd get to them later, I don't know how or when, but my time will come.

And that's pretty much what happened, except neither Erica nor Brad had showed up for English class, though Fran did make an appearance. She gave me a slight, friendly wave and then took her normal seat down near the front of the lecture room. Unusually, I was further back. When I had been with Erica, we sat closer to the front, sort of in the middle of our friends and acquaintances. Not today, and probably not ever again.

Classes over for the day, I headed back to my dorm and tried to get my life and my mind back on track. Ed had come and gone, leaving a note that there were a bunch of messages from Erica and maybe I should phone her and find out what's going on. Not a chance of that. I went over to the phone and hit the erase button twice, deleting all the voice messages. I remembered that I had unplugged it yesterday; Ed must have plugged it back in while he was here.

I got into some track gear planning a long run where I didn't have to think about anything, just listen to the tunes on my Walkman. I was going down the stairs and had almost got to the entrance when Brad came in. He glanced at me then looked away. I ignored him, exited the building and started my run. There's no way he'd know that I knew that he and Erica had been doing the horizontal hula, unless he was still there when she saw my not-too-subtle message. Whatever. Too fucking bad for him.

The run felt good. I could feel the tension of the last day gradually easing and I loped down the bike/running paths that wound throughout the neighbourhood. I gradually became aware of someone coming up behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and almost stumbled. Fuck, I thought, Erica. Just who I didn't want or need. I darted across the street, dodging oncoming traffic. Thankfully, I saw that she couldn't follow me right away, and I managed to put a lot of distance between us. I varied my route, but did continue my run and didn't see Erica again.

For the next few weeks, life went on and I was slowly, ever so slowly, getting used to being on my own. I'd been able to change my English class, so I wouldn't have any reason to run into Erica. Ed told me, through his girlfriend who knew Erica, that after the first week or so, Erica had stopped looking for me or trying to contact me. He had also told her, when she showed up at the dorms, that he didn't know where I was. I appreciated that and told him so. I didn't go out of my way to avoid her, but don't recall ever seeing her during the next months. Fran was encouraging, letting me know that there was a friendly shoulder to cry on, or someone who cares that would listen. I thanked her, but didn't call. The hurt and the betrayal were far too fresh in my mind. It would be a long while before I would trust someone again.

Friends we had socialized with knew that something had happened. When pressed, I would tell them to go ask Erica. Gradually they drifted out of my life. Oh, we were cordial and would chat, but the social life we once enjoyed together just wasn't there. I became somewhat of a hermit, just classes, work and tutoring. The word got out; don't try to discuss Erica with me. It was a taboo subject and that was not open to negotiation.

* * *

It was nearing Christmas break when my mother phoned to ask if I was going to make it home for the holidays. I felt a pang of guilt for not being in touch with her more often, either phoning or email. Truth be told, I hadn't really thought much about it.

"Mom, I'm not too sure I'd be good company. Something's happened and it's not going too well right now."

"Listen, Evan, your sisters and brother expect their big brother to be home for Christmas. You know how they love to hear you talk about all the stuff going on at the university, and the work you've done. I know you can't really afford any gifts, but that's alright. We just want our oldest son and big brother home for Christmas."

"But, Mom..."

"No buts. If it's bus fare you need or gas money or something, we can help."

"No, it's not that Mom. I can afford whatever I need. You know I've got a good job here at the university, and I tutor some of the other students as well. No, It's something worse that I have to work out for myself."