The Apology

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An apology before the parting of two lovers.
843 words
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Thanks to Azuldrgon and availableslave2u for reading, commenting and offering me support.

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"Natasha!"

The voice cut through the low murmur of the crowd and straight to her heart. She could not believe it, did not want to believe it. Shaking her head, she continued walking.

"Natasha! Tash, please!" The voice was closer, more urgent. Sighing, she stopped and slowly turned around. Sure enough, he was moving through the throng of people, his eyes frantic as he desperately tried to close the gap between them. Biting her lip, she turned away.

"God, Tash, no. Please. Don't." She could hear the plea in his voice, the anxiety as he tried to cut through the milling crowd separating them. She felt rather than heard him reaching her. "Natasha," he began quietly. "I'm so sorry…"

"Sorry?" Natasha spun around, the pain evident in her eyes. "Sorry?"

"I didn't mean it. I swear, I didn't."

"Goddamn it, Luke! Our last day together – our last day! – and then you had to… and now, you'resorry?"

"I didn't mean it, Natasha. I swear," he repeated. He reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. "It slipped out."

She shrugged off his hand and stared in his eyes. "Slipped out? The point is, Luke, you've said it." He saw the depth of hurt in her eyes, and it felt like a blow to his gut. It always astounded him how much her eyes revealed. She'd never have to speak, not really; her eyes did that. "Why?" she continued. He sighed.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't want you to go."

Natasha's eyes softened. "We knew I'd leave. We knew this day was coming for months."

"I just…" Luke's voice trailed off.

"What?"

"I just hoped that you wouldn't. That something would have happened. That –"

"That I'd quit my job?" she finished quietly.

"Yeah. I mean, no! Well, somethi…."

Her eyes smiled sadly. "I've worked so hard for so long, that just to resign would be leaving it half finished. You know, Luke, you could have quit and come with me." He didn't answer, couldn't answer. When the silence stretched to an uncomfortable pause, Natasha looked down and muttered, "My point exactly."

It tore his heart to see her this way. "Tash, I'm really sorry."

Natasha's head snapped back up, her eyes hard. "I know. You're sorry. You've established that. And it still hurts. Now, I have a plane to catch." With those words, she spun on her heels and began to walk away. He grabbed her arm before it was just out of reach.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

Natasha stilled. "Let go of my arm," she told him quietly.

"No. Not until you believe that I really am sorry."

"Then you're buying the ticket for the next plane." Luke cringed. Briefly closing his eyes, he released her arm, knowing that she'll leave. When he opened them, he was surprised to see her still standing there, her eyes searching his face.

"Tash," he began. "I know what I said was cruel. I know what I said hurt. I also know that I wish that I didn't say it. If I could, I would take it back." She said nothing, and standing there, she waited patiently, as if she had all the time in the world, as if she didn't have a plane to catch. "It's just that, well… Are you going to make me explain it?"

"Yes."

Luke sighed. "Look, Tash. I really didn't mean it."

"I got that."

"Damn it, Tash! I don't want you to go. I can't let you go. I – I want you here with me. I want to be with you. I want us to be an us - to be here, together." He paused, and took a deep breath, and looked into her eyes. "I love you, Natasha."

"Oh God, Luke." Her eyes flooded. As Luke pulled her into her arms, he realised that although he had seen her eyes reflect her every emotion and thought, from anger to frustration, from delight to lust, he has never seen tears in her eyes. Bending his head, he touched her lips with his own in a kiss that seared their souls.

Cupping her hands around his face, Natasha traced his jaw line with her fingers. She could taste the bitter-sweetness of the moment trapped in that one kiss, the joy and the sorrow, the saltiness of tears. Whether it was hers or his, she did not know nor did she care.

Breaking the kiss, she stared in his eyes, her own deep. She leaned in close, her lips barely touching his. "I have to go," she whispered. He nodded, unable to speak. "Take care of yourself, Luke." Gently kissing him, she turned, and walked to the boarding gate.

He watched her disappear past security, wiping his tears. Standing there, alone in the midst of a shuffling crowd, the scent of her lingering in the air, her taste still on his lips, Luke realised that Natasha never said "I love you" back.

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12 Comments
whalee1whalee1over 10 years ago
So close, so far away.

Captured a universal experience with grace and power.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
he's done

and she's gone

cullodencullodenabout 13 years ago
Nice

This is the essence of a short story. Very well done.

raconteuseraconteuseabout 13 years ago
A very fine piece

I liked this cameo piece very much. Short, accomplished, big on style, and razor-sharp. Well-executed and most admirable. Thank you

SxRxSxRxalmost 15 years ago
Taste of Bitter Sweet

Authentic and bittersweet...very well written and moving conversation between parting lovers...

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