- Mind Control
- The App
- Page 2
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Click hereLisa scratched her head and blinked trying to collect her thoughts, but she couldn't seem to remember what she was meant to be thinking. Strangely it didn't bother her. Looking up she saw Chris standing in front of the screen looking at her.
"So that's it. Still needs a little more development, but I think the app is getting there."
Lisa really had no idea what Chris was talking about, but she didn't care. It just seemed right to say, "You're doing a great job, keep it up Chris. I feel like I'm learning new things whenever we work together. I like it."
Chris smiled at her and Lisa smiled back with her whole face.
"Come on Chris, its late so lets get out of here. There must be better things for us to do besides work." She paused and then felt compelled to say, " And if you're free I'll take you out to dinner to say thanks."
Chris nodded and smiled.
Lisa had taught him a lot. Now he would teach her in return.
- COMMENTS
Gym52over 1 year agoAn interesting premise, but your writing needs proofreading and editing preferably by an second set of eyes.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoIf you’re going to use a replace all function, put a space before and after the word, then space+comma, space+period, that way the actual word is isolated regardless of punctuation.
Anonymousover 4 years agoI'm guessing you had the female character named Ren originally, and changed her to Lisa later. Hilariously, the find and replace seems to have also replaced "ren" inside "different", so every instance of different reads "diffeLisat" now!
C_frommnalmost 7 years agoBut there's a lot of Teaching to be done, Then he can get her to invite others to be Her Masters Pet. Just to please him.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoThe idea is good as in the app but i suppose if you like the same thing then this will appeal ,getting a bit fed up with the Call me Master thing and same sexual procedure.
Larry Wolffabout 7 years agoWell done, no over done explanations, straight to the action. Now you need to find an editor or be more rigorous in your own proofing as there are a few errors that should be cleaned up to aid your readers in enjoying the story. Keep writing, quite enjoyable.
AZslyderabout 7 years agoLisa's name popped up several times in the place of the letters "ren" occurring in the middle of words, I can only assume by the use of Replace in your word processing program. Having a good editor will catch this type of issue. Otherwise, I enjoyed the concept and flow of the story, well done. 4 *'s
Miniwandabout 7 years agoNice story but you put the word Lisa into some words, I thought it meant something but I didn't get it.
