The Art of Reconstruction

When it was time to get ready for dinner, James found me in our cabin, naked, staring at the two dresses on the bed and the lingerie that went with them. Mistress Virginia had done too good a job. I couldn't even choose a pair of panties to wear without her telling me.

"It's ok, Diedre. It's a simple choice. Just pick the ones you think are the prettiest." His hands touched my shoulders and slowly slid down my arms. "There is no wrong answer. Virginia asked me to help you relearn how to decide small things for yourself. This is the first step in becoming what she wants you to be."

I reached for the choker on my neck, running my fingers along the satin strip, wishing it were my collar and I was back with Mistress Virginia. "Can you help me?"

"You have beautiful red hair. Which dress do you think would go best with your hair?"

I thought long and hard. The red cress drew my attention first, but what if James preferred the green one? It would bring out my eyes. What if he got upset with my choice and punished me? I would deserve the punishment, but would he be as kind as Mistress Virginia? My mind spun with indecision.

Slowly, I reached for the lacey red panties on the bed, my hands shaking as I picked them up. Looking at James for any sign of encouragement. He just stood there watching intently as I stepped into the panties and pulled them up my legs, smiling as I nestled them against my crotch.

"The only wrong answer was to not choose." He put his hands on my face, leaned down and kissed me on the lips. "Now get dressed. Rafael is waiting to serve us dinner." He swatted me on the butt and left me there to finish dressing.

It was a slow process for the rest of the evening, what dressing for my salad, Sea bass or Halibut for dinner, Strawberry or Raspberry glaze on my cheesecake, cream and/or sugar with my coffee, and what I wanted to drink as James, and I retired to the rear deck of the ship to enjoy the rest of the evening. I chose a glass of the Riesling he had suggested on the plane. Small little insignificant choices that felt as if they carried the weight of the world in my mind. I was exhausted.

James was more interested in me choosing than want I chose.

"May I speak freely?" I could heat the trepidation in my voice.

"Of course. We talked about that on the plane."

"Do you know what Mistress Virginia has planned for me?"

"Not entirely. I know this weekend is very important for your future. Some girls, like Eve, can't relearn how to decide for themselves, or choose not to. They have happy lives." Eve was standing right behind us. I looked up at her and she just smiled and nodded. "Others can. They take on different roles. That's what this weekend is. That, and I paid Virginia handsomely for the chance to spend this time with you, to help you through this test, if you will."

"What if I fail?"

"You can't fail. There are no wrong answers. I will relay the choices that you make to Virginia so she can decide where you go next."

It was a lot to take in. I asked Eve for another glass of wine and sat quietly, looking up at the stars and the moon, letting it all soak in.

"Are you going to stay out much longer?" James put his hand on my arm. "I know you have a lot to process."

"Actually no. I smiled up at him. I hoped that maybe Master James," I added a strong affectation to the words, "would like to give his favorite puppy a treat." Standing in front of him, I handed Eve my now empty glass, and ran my hands under his shirt, letting my fingers dance across his smooth skin, tracing and teasing the lines of his chiseled chest.

"I think Master James," he matched my tone, "would like that very much." He picked me up, kissing me hard, and carried me to our bed.

The contrast was mind blowing. He wasn't using me as a toy for quick release, James was making love to me. His powerful hands touching and teasing the most intimate parts of my body, his tongue and lips kissing and licking places I didn't know I had.

He teased and licked, pinched and nibbled on my tender nipples; my vitamins were still hard at work augmenting the implants the doctor had given me and the added sensitivity drove me wild.

"Just let me." James had whispered in my ear when I started fondling his cock and balls. Falling back into the ecstasy of his touch, I let my mind roam among all the conflicting thoughts and images running through it.

I was back in that harness the first night, being used by so many men again and again. I was a puppy, eagerly receiving my first treat from Master James, a gift to Mistress Virginia's business partners to consummate a deal. It had been so special, cementing me in my place as nothing more than an object to be used for whatever purpose Mistress Virginia deemed appropriate. I had enjoyed it so much, James and those other men using me, filling my ass with their seed, the approving looks I had gotten from Mistress making me feel so special.

And yet here, now, I was being treated like a prize to be won, a treasure to be cherished, a princess to be worshiped.

Nothing mattered to James but my pleasure. I was delirious, charges of energy exploding with each touch, each kiss, each nibble. Surges of pleasure coursing through me as he kissed and nibbled at my nipples and played with my rose with his fingers. When he drove his tongue into my ass, I exploded, my body trembling with intense feelings of euphoria, and he hadn't even fucked me yet.

Confused, ecstatic, lost in the moment, I just smiled as he rose above me and pushed my ankles toward my shoulders. Finally, I was getting my treat. He had made me feel so special, but I knew this was the truth. This is what I deserved, what I wanted; to be fucked and fucked hard. He was going to drive his cock into me as hard and fast as he could, taking me back to where I belonged.

I was wrong. It was slow and gentle. He covered my face with kisses, his hands gently caressing my body as he slid inside me and continued to make love to me.

My mind broke. This made no sense. It was my job to please him, my job to serve. Mistress told me so, again and again. That was how I wanted it. That was how it was supposed to be.

"My god, James. What are you doing to me?" I was weeping.

"I'm teaching you a lesson." He drove his cock into me hard, spewing his seed into my bowels, kissing me hard, and collapsing next to me, pulling me into his muscular arms. "This is how a woman is supposed to feel."

I just laid there as he drifted to sleep behind me, trying to piece it together. Mistress had destroyed any sense of self-worth I had. She had taken my masculinity, my ego, my pride, all of it and made me nothing. I had been a dog, worse, because I had once been so much more. She ordered the doctor to 'fix' me, the ultimate emasculation, and then she had so graciously allowed me to be a girl.

A girl, I laughed to myself. How ironic, and I had been so excited. Carla came to my mind, my first girlfriend. The things I had done to her, the way I had forced her to bow to my depravities, only to dump her for being a slut after I forced her to have sex with one of my friends. To be fair, I had given her ten percent of the money I charged him and then laughed when she broke down crying.

That first night came back to me. Me crying, begging to know why she was doing this to me. Her answer rang in my head; she had been right. As a man, I had been detestable, a beast, a monster; I had used and abused women, always taking and never giving. What I needed was to be destroyed. And this, this, this weekend with James, this, here tonight, this was the beginning of her making me into something new.

Slipping from James' embrace, I went and found Eve gently rocking her awake. "Yes, Mistress?" she smiled up at me.

"I just want to talk. Tell me about who you were before, please."

Her story was not too different from mine. "And you're happy?" I finally asked.

"More than I can express," there was that smile again, "and definitely more than I deserve."

James found me on deck at the railing, staring off into the distance at the lights dancing on the horizon. "Are you alright?" He wrapped me in his massive arms.

I leaned back into him and sighed. "What's the worst thing one of your servants, like me or Eve, has ever done?"

"The girl before Eve stole from me. I punished her and sold her to another master. Why?"

"I think I finally understand." I turned in his arms. "Will you do something for me?"

"Within reason. Remember, you still belong to Virginia."

"I know." I took a deep breath. "Will you punish me like you did her? I think I deserve it."

James looked at me strangely. "And then?"

"Use me until I can't move. Not like tonight, like before; that first night. Let your crew use me. Make me pay for what I did." I wrapped my arms around his chest and hugged him tight, tears streaming down my face. "I was a horrible person."

James took me by the hand and led me to his office, pointing to a chair. I took a seat while he opened his laptop and made a Zoom call. "Virginia. My apologies for waking you, but Diedre has an unusual request, one outside the terms of our agreement. I thought it best to let her speak with you." He turned the screen toward me. I could see Mistress in her nightgown, obviously not pleased at me waking her at this hour.

"Yes?" her voice was dry, devoid of any emotion.

"Good morning, Mistress," my hand went immediately to my neck, searching for my collar. "Um, I think I finally understand." I started meekly.

"Understand what, exactly? And what does that have to do with waking me up and three in the morning?" I could feel her dissatisfaction with the situation.

"The answer to my question." I offered meekly. "I understand why you are doing this to me." There was a long pause.

"Go on." Mistress spoke softly and firmly.

"I asked Master James to punish me and to let his crew use me." Tears ran down my cheeks in rivulets. "I was a horrible person. I don't deserve the kindness you have shown me."

For the briefest instance, I thought I saw a smile creep onto her face. As fast as it appeared, it was gone. She took a deep breath. I knew the look. She was deciding on my punishment for bothering her at this hour.

"James may punish you as he deems appropriate, but I do not want you to be damaged, so I will not allow his crew to use you. You and I will talk about this when you return." She disconnected the call without another word. I didn't even get to thank her.

It was an elaborate setup, my hands fastened to a rod by leather straps suspending me from a hook in the ceiling so that I could barely stand on my tiptoes. He had similarly secured my ankles with the rod holding them anchored to the ground. There were clips on my nipples and some sort of weighted contraption attached to the remains of my penis.

If I stayed on my tiptoes, the pain in my arms and shoulders was relieved, but my feet and calves paid the price. If I dropped even a bit, pain coursed through my arms and shoulders and surges of electricity through my nipples and cock. There was no way for me to find relief. James somewhere nearby, watching as I tried to decide which pain I wanted. Just when it looked like I might make a choice, a lash would find my ass, causing me to violate any comfort I might have found.

Blindfolded, with a gag in my mouth, muffling my screams and plugs in my ears, blocking out any sound. There was no way for me to know when the next strike would come. Sometimes a gentle touch, or a caress from his soft lips, preceded them. That was the cruelest pain of all. I reminded myself I had asked for this; I deserved this. It was excruciating. My legs cramped, my shoulders ached, my tits burned, and my poor cock felt as if it were being ripped off.

I tried to count lashes, but my mind couldn't focus on anything but the pain. Once more, the lash found my ass. I tried to scream, wrenching my arms and feet into their bindings. There was no safe word, no signal, just my trust that James wouldn't do anything Mistress Virginia wouldn't approve of.

Another kiss, another caress, another lash. I struggled. Everything went dark.

When I awoke, James was releasing me from my bonds. There wasn't a part of my body that didn't ache. My arms, shoulders and back. My legs, my feet, even my little cock, were sore, and my tits, fuck, my tits hurt worse than anything.

"Was it what you wanted?" James picked me up in his arms and carried me carefully from the room.

"Yes." I whispered. It was what I wanted, but somewhere I knew it hadn't been enough. I still had penance to pay.

The sun was just making its debut in the new day when James set me on the table on the rear deck of the boat. Someone I didn't know helped him situate me and then rubbed the soreness from my body. It hurt almost as bad as what James had done, but when he finished with my body, the pain was almost completely gone. I was still a little sore, but it was more like after a good workout.

Eve helped me to the master cabin, and I found a bikini to wear before going to join James for breakfast, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you. I'm not sure it will ever be enough. But, thank you."

I spent the rest of the morning laying out in the sun, working on my tan and thinking about everything I had been through since Jenn spiked my drink. One day, I'd have to go back and ask her why, but that was a worry for another time. There was something cathartic about my realization that I had brought it all on myself by being the colossal douche I had been my entire life.

I could try to blame it on my dad, because his fruit hadn't fallen far from the tree. He was an ass of biblical proportions, and I grew up just like him. I giggled at the thought of Mistress Virginia or April leading him outside on a leash to go potty. I'd pay good money to see that, but he was too far gone to be salvageable.

Salvageable, that was my actual truth. Somewhere, someone had thought I was salvageable, worth saving, useful for something, and that brought a warmth to my soul. I had sold, or given, that same soul to Mistress Virginia, and I was happy with that, but I couldn't help but wonder what her ultimate vision for me was going to be. Would I work for her like April, or would she sell me to someone? I thought about it and decided that would be ok, too. Maybe I'd get lucky, and Master James would still be interested in buying me. I liked Eve. Maybe we'd become good friends. I'd make sure never to steal from Master James, though.

Eve woke me from the gentle slumber that found me as I basked in the warm morning sun, letting me know it was time for dinner. I made my way back to the master cabin and took a quick shower, inspecting myself as I dried off and applied my makeup. I saw a pretty girl, nice modest breasts; still growing, long red hair, big green eyes, long legs and an ample posterior; I chuckled at that, sure it was one reason James liked to fuck me so much.

Sure, I had remnants of a small penis, but the thing I noticed was the peace in my eyes. Whatever had been there before, anger, malice, spite, was gone now. I took a deep breath and let out a happy sigh.

I took my time choosing what to wear. The angst and trepidation were gone. I had found peace with where and what I was. My future belonged to Mistress Virginia. Selecting matching bright pink panties and bra, I pulled on simple khaki shorts with a thin belt and a sleeveless linen top, with simple sandals. I left the choker on the vanity by my makeup, deciding I no longer needed the reminder.

James was in the large room talking over last-minute details for the party with Rafael. I slipped up next to him and put my arm in his, accepting his smile as approval of what I 'chose' to wear.

"We are having lunch ashore so Rafael and Eve can prepare for tonight." He looked at Rafael. Rafael nodded. He had everything under control. James and I took the launch and went into town.

Lunch was at a small café where James knew the owner. It was perfection, fresh fish from a local fishery, a nice fresh salad and a wonderful wine. We took a tour of the kitchens and of the gardens out back. I couldn't place it, but something about the owner kept drawing my attention. Perhaps it was his distinguished good looks, or maybe the way he carried himself. He had the same air of confidence James had, and it was so intoxicating.

I had wandered off to admire a stand of roses, returning I the middle of a conversation, "Her? That was her? But she doesn't wear a collar."

"Not today, but you can ask her." James smiled at me as I slipped my arm in his.

"Ask me what?" I smiled coyly at the two men.

"Hector was at the gathering," James paused, "the night you were..."

"Oh." I looked up at him and then at Hector. I knew what they had been discussing. Hector knew Virginia and probably had one or two of her girls at his house right now. Hector gave me the most deliciously devilish grin.

Licking my lips, I dropped to my knees and unzipped his pants. Hector wasn't as big as James, but he had a gorgeous cock. Long and covered with veins, uncut with a prominent head partially uncovered. I took him all the way down my throat and spent the next fifteen minutes worshiping his manhood, licking and sucking, taking his balls in my mouth and lavishing them with attention, ultimately opening my mouth and sticking out my tongue so he could watch as he covered my tongue with his spunk.

I played with his juice for a minute before I swallowed, opening my mouth again to show him I had swallowed it all, before I took his softening shaft back into my mouth, cleaning it and squeezing the last drops of his cum from his cock.

Looking up at James, I winked and licked my lips, reaching for his zipper next. James wasn't so patient. I took him down my throat and he grabbed my head and face-fucked me until he was ready to cum, thrusting deep into my mouth and spewing his massive load straight into my stomach.

I excused myself to the ladies' room and fixed my makeup before rejoining James and Hector.

"Will Hector be joining us this evening?" I smiled at James, taking his arm once again.

Hector nodded, giving me the same deliciously devilish grin.

James and I wandered the market district for a while, where I met another of Mistress Virginia's acquaintances, and gave him the same attention I had Hector. I left with a beautiful scarf and matching coverup for my bikini.

When we got back to the boat, I didn't recognize it. Lights strung everywhere, risqué decorations and a floating pier where the water taxis would drop our guests.

Dinner was light and simple, after which James and I went to our cabin to change for the party. The red cocktail dress was the only choice. Not because James told me to wear it, but because it cried sex, and that was the look that I wanted for the night.

I was at the vanity putting the final touches on my makeup when James came up behind me. "I'd like you to wear this tonight." He showed me a simple gold chain with a small 'J' hanging from it. I smiled up at him in the mirror and pulled my hair out of the way so he could fasten it in place. The 'J' nestled perfectly just above my cleavage, not a collar, but still a sign of who I belonged to. "You know the rules." He kissed my cheek and drew his finger along the chain from the 'J' to my collarbone and across my shoulder.

The boats began arriving and while some of our guests hadn't brought their toys, most had. The toys varied with a few exceptions; they all wore collars like the one waiting for me on James' plane, and they all had some remnant of the man or boy they had once been, some more than others. There were girls like me and sissies. Some were naked, wearing only leather straps, and some dressed as schoolgirls. There were even a few house pets. The overriding commonality was the 'property of' on their collars.