The Awakening of Angel Ch. 07

Crap! What have I done? Maybe he won't think it's a big deal. For some reason though I didn't think that would be the case.

12 July 3:40 PM

Circe

Tillman sent a message that his limo would pick Alexandra and myself up. That in itself was unusual since she had never come with me to any of these meetings. It filled me with a sense of foreboding, like when the doctor comes out of the OR with a stern look on his face. We pulled up to a gate that I recognized as the one with the Carriage House. On some unseen signal the gate opened and we pulled up in front of the house, but it was different this time. It was lit and the rooms were inviting with a warm glow.

We got out of the limo and walked up the steps and just as I was reaching for the bell the door opened. I jumped a bit because of the surprise. There stood Tillman in perfectly tailored casual clothes but I noticed a strange bump on his shoulder. I surmised that was where he'd been wounded.

Please come in but I should mention that that rather large looking dog over there is Roxie> Do not approach her or attempt to pet her. I would recommend not even making eye contact. She is a military working dog and not the kind that sniffs out drugs, although she can do that.

Roxie sat stone still between us and the back door. The position she had taken seemed to be a protective one and she only followed us with her eyes as we moved in. That was one scary looking dog and I shuddered to think about her grabbing onto my throat and ripping it out.

"Don't worry about Roxie, she knows the rules and as long as we (namely you) follow them you will be just fine. And speaking of rules how did you do while I was gone?"

Oh crap! Very first question. Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I say? Tell the truth or lie. I felt like I had been thinking about the answer too long and he would get suspicious at the delay so I quickly blurted out, "Fine." Then his whole demeanor changed.

"Fine? Really? You aren't lying to me are you?"

I should have just stopped there but my dander was up. I protested too loudly, "No I'm not lying! I followed all the rules!"

Those steely eyes began to bore into me, dissecting me piece by piece, scrutinizing every part. I had to hide so that he wouldn't find me. Had to hide from the accusations. Had to hide from the blame.

"Trainee, you are lying to me."

He said it very quietly and calmly. I felt Alexandra lightly touch my elbow in warning but I ignored it. The quietness and calmness enraged me and I saw red. Literally. I took two quick steps towards him because I was going to show him who's boss. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roxie start to move, when Tillman said loudly in a commanding voice, "Roxie! Sierra!" to which command she promptly sat back down. I didn't know what I was going to do to this man but I needed to hit him somehow, to make him back away from my inner being.

Both my hands went up. Was I going to choke him, slap him, or hit him? It really was a moot point because he grabbed my wrists in an iron-like grip. God was he strong! In any case he had immobilized me. I tried to kick a few times but as I'd start he'd twist down on my wrists causing me to abort my attack.

This went on for a few minutes as I struggled and spent my rage. He must have sensed that I was out of steam and released my wrists which fell sorely to my side.

"Which rule or rules did you break Trainee?"

I hated the name "Trainee" because it sounded so impersonal. He had called me Angel once and I loved it when he said my name. A flood of emotions washed over me.

"I was afraid you were dead! You were gone so long and we didn't hear anything! When I heard you were okay it just made me so happy. Then I got sort of worked up and masturbated. But that's all I did. Honest! You can ask Alexandra."

"I don't need to ask her. I can see that you are being truthful. But you lied. Team members can't lie to each other. They have to be able to trust each other. And they have to be disciplined enough to follow the rules. Failure to follow the rules can lead to people dying."

"What are you saying, that all because I diddled myself it will get people killed? That's just dumb!"

"Lack of discipline gets people killed. Some of us learn it better one way than what others do. Do you wish to be released from the contract?"

That hit me like a freight train right in the middle of my chest. My brain was telling my mouth to say yes but my heart ran roughshod all over my brain and a quiet "No" issued from my lips.

"Are you sure you want to continue?"

"Yes, yes Teacher I am." I desperately wanted to see him again, and the thought of never being able to filled me with a sense of panic.

"Very well. My driver will take you home now. As you know there are negative reinforcements for negative behaviors. Now go and wait for further instrutions."

On the drive home I must have kicked myself a thousand times. Maybe if I'd been more disciplined the reward would have been to put my arms around him. Or just touch him, anywhere. Or have him smile and tell me I had done well. But instead I'd lost my cool and gone all whacko on him. Way to go Angel! What did you think you were going to accomplish. Did you think you'd be able to even lay a finger on this man who was trained in who knows what.

"Alexandra?"

"Yes Miss?"

"Is my punishment going to be harsh?"

Alexandra thought for a moment and said, "Well Mr. Tillman does not tolerate rule breakers. But even more so he does not tolerate liars. His motivational exercises can be quite an ordeal."

"Fuck!" I really wished now that I'd told the truth. At least Alexandra was decent enough not to say, "I told you so." Although at this point it would have been the least of my worries.

5:07 PM

Tillman

I sat down in an overstuffed chair to catch up on some reading. Roxie was sitting to the side of me and when I reached down to scratch her on the head I felt a little twinge of pain in my shoulder but I didn't utter a sound. Roxie looked up at me, tilted her head quizzically and then promptly moved to the opposite side so that I could use my other hand. How did she know that? It baffled me but I also knew it was true that she could read me. I just couldn't figure out how.

As I sat there absent mindedly scratching behind her my thoughts drifted to Angel. What negative reinforcement should I choose for her? Well the punishment should fit the crime right? And with that I had decided my plan of action.