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Click hereThis offer appealed to Colin. He liked Carmine's figure. It was perfectly curved and contoured, and while her breasts were not quite as big, she looked almost as sexy as Ria.
"It's a tempting offer," he admitted. "But disciplining this girl is going to involve sex, and it feels like cheating on Ria."
"Why don't we swap slaves then?!" Carmine suggested excitedly. "While you're training my girl, I'll keep Ria!"
"I don't know," he said guiltily. "It just...feels wrong. Is this girl a virgin?"
"I thought you'd ask," she replied slyly. "As a matter of fact, no, she isn't. She's about as old as you. Her breasts aren't big, so those won't work as a point of torture. She's quite short - a good quarter of a foot below you. She's quite fair and pleasing to the eye...but I'm deviating from the question. She got hooked with a guy when she was eighteen, and the fellow ditched her after popping her cherry. A nasty piece of shit, but not so funny after I locked him up in a penis chastity device that won't come off unless you cut through it or find this guy who makes special keys for the lock. The parents liked the idea, too, so no damage done."
Colin gave in. "Alright. I'll see if Ria appeals to the idea. Send this girl here tomorrow and I'll see what I can do about her."
- COMMENTS
bluroover 6 years agoAuthorThanks! This story's come to a close, though (check my comment on Ch 5 I think). I've sent a new story for reviewing and if all goes well I'll have a new proper series where I can start anew :D Thanks for reading.
Anonymousover 6 years agoI really loved it you have such a way with writing its beautiful and you make the characters seem real
nthusiasticover 6 years agoNot just the content ( which is bad enough), but your continuity is majorly lacking! Look at your title! This is Chapter #6 then you say it's the fifth chapter. Make up your mind! You have her on her tummy, tell her to roll over & somehow she lands hogtied on her tummy again? This sucks! Please do yourself (& us!), a favor & write about something you understand. You have potential as a writer but try a different topic.
Anonymousover 6 years agoIt's hilarious how you yourself give yourself a five star rating because nobody else is, this really is just not good. It's bad enough you have no idea what a BDSM relationship is about, and somehow you defended what you were doing, and more than a few people have commented on your boards, and yet you continue to write something you are clueless about, truly without any Merit in the subject. This is a lifestyle that people have found solace in, this is a place of protection, a place of acceptance, and yet you mock people that have gone through quite a bit of shame and judgment from others because of their lifestyle choices. You truly do not get it. First law of writing, is to write about what you know. You have continuously stated how you do not know about BDSM. It is inconceivable that you still don't get it, and have no idea what you're doing. Either ask for help from other writers here, or post on your page or here looking for guidance, you truly need help, you do not know what you're doing within the subject matter you're trying to write. That's the problem here you cannot write about a subject you know nothing about. Someone called you a kid on the last chapter guess what continuing to do something when people are trying to help you by saying this isn't for you, yes you're being a kid. Stop reading 50 Shades of Junk and thinking you can do this too. There are many strong stories in this category regarding the relationship dynamics of BDSM. There are many other books out there as well. Research!
