The Beautiful Destructions ORIGIN

Hi everyone. First I am really sorry for the delay. My husband lost his job, and I got a little depressed when the chapters were accidentally deleted off the site. I had only meant to delete the previous series submission and the first very long chapter so I could redivide it into shorter ones.

This is the end of this arc, excuse the typos it was all done on my phone. I am not super pleased with it but I've hold off submitting for too long. I hope you guys like it, feel free to suggest changes or highlight anything you've liked.

I will start another arc within Origin, and the stories will meet later.

PS: Story rejected because I can't have the end of an arc without the rest of the chapters. I DO NOT HAVE A COPY OF THE PREVIOUSLY SUBMITTED CHAPTERS! Please let me just post the end!

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Chapter 35

The sun was rising beyond the open windows and I curled against the heap of muscles which lie by my side. It was so easy to wake up when I slept next to him.

"Good morning Beautiful," he greeted, softly rubbing my back.

"Hi," I replied and hid my face in his shoulder.

I didn't feel ashamed or guilty, more like... timid. It was our first real morning after, sober, aware and my head full of memory. I smiled against his skin, wiggling closer to feel his warmth all along my body. It was comfortable, natural. I could get used to this.

I sighed.

"What is it?"

"I need to get back to my room, I don't want Emily to wake up alone."

He combed his fingers through my hair, following the length and brushing my skin all the way down.

"Five more minutes," he informed me, and I melted back against him.

We stayed like that, silent, and my brain finished its groggy daily ascension to wakefulness. Caffeine was what I missed the most on Origin. I moved up to lay a bit more upward on his chest. I replayed my conversations with Maya, the hope I could nearly touch. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to share my joy, but I knew this topic would only cause him pain. As the daylight grew between us, so did the distance. Maybe I could learn more about him instead?

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mm hmm."

"You don't have to answer, but I was wondering... What does Lord Fredricksen have that you want so much? Maya told me you've been working for him for years, doing whatever he wants. I can't imagine you chasing after money or anything like that."

"For a start, Mayasena talks too much."

I looked up to his eyes, checking for signs of storm but there was no trace of black in the opalescent silver. He smiled, tracing the outline of my throat with his thumb.

"Fredricksen had the key to perhaps making me human again."

Human!?

"Had?"

His hand disappeared under his pillow and he showed me what he'd pulled. It was about the size of a dollar coin, a twisted '8' made of glass with a blue stone in its center. It was pretty, but it didn't look very special.

"That can make you human?"

"Maybe," he replied, sorrow fleeting on his face. "I will learn if there is a way out for me, or if I am to be the Guardians' instrument for another eternity. But it's already more than I'd ever believed possible." His smile was melancholic, and the despair it hinted at forced me to look away.

"I'm sorry I asked," I apologized with a kiss.

"Don't be, I'm glad you asked. I should have told you, but I didn't want to bring your hopes up."

"My hopes?"

"Wouldn't you reconsider your grand escape plans if I could be human with you?"

I sat up on the edge of the bed. I didn't like the turn this conversation was taking. Not one bit.

"Why do I repel you so much then? Do you have someone waiting for you?"

"No... You wouldn't understand."

He sat behind me and closed his strong arms around my waist. I wanted to lean back against him so much, I wanted to be weak and let go, but I knew that was the trap Nicholas was.

"I don't want fate, destiny, or a perfect match selected by the Guardians to determine my life for me. I want love and respect. I want to try and fail and grow. I want to be horrified at having to introduce him to my mother!" Tears were balling up in my throat, a sense of loss I'd never identified spiralling inside me. "Even without Emily I'd fight to get home. You don't know me, and I don't ask you to understand, but I have barely started to live. Staying on Origin, with you - that would be giving up."

The black mask on his face was fighting his overwhelming confusion. I had the urge to hug him, to make him feel better and go back to bed whispering to forget what I'd said. He was that dangerous, I realized yet again - and in this second I knew that given enough time he would win.

"But I know you want me. You know I'd keep you safe too. And I make you feel great," he added with a smouldering kiss on my neck.

"You're right. Everything you said is right," I conceded. "But choosing to stay on Origin means committing my life to you. Then I need a lot more than that, Nicholas. Physical attraction isn't love. Believe me, my mom would be happy and remarried by now if that was the case."

"What if you don't have a choice? What if you cannot go back?"

I stood up and picked my slip.

"You see, that's the problem right there. You don't care if I'm happy so long as I'm alive and in your bed. Is that really enough, even for you? Do you genuinely not care if I love you or not?"

I waited for his answer but he only stared at me in a muted silence. It wasn't anger, it was pain that made me shake. I held my breath to not cry. Why did the truth hurt me so much? I turned my back to him and put on my slip.

"What now then? What do you want from me?"

"Good luck becoming human." I'd shot for detached and cold but it had come out like a wreck. "And if you want to know, I'm going to search Luxington's archives with Maya after the Ball."

I heard him snarl and I flipped around, my eyes red.

"Good luck getting past the council," he mocked harshly. "Please, do let me know when you're in." His tone had sunk from condescending right down to insulting.

"I'm glad crushing my hopes and Emily's amuses you. Please stay the fuck away from us."

I buckled my belt and slammed the door.

The destructive relationship I'd tried not to emulate all my life, and I had to run into it on a different world with some hot guy who couldn't even claim to be human. I was as shallow and short-sighted as any of them. I stepped into the steaming shower. You can get the girl out of the trailer park... I cringed at the defeating adage and turned up the water pressure to drown out my thoughts.

If only I could hate him, it would make my life so much simpler.

There was a knock on the bathroom door and I popped my head out of the stream to listen.

"We' re going downstairs for breakfast now," Maya announced. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"Yeah, I still don't feel too well."

Lies lies lies.

"Don't worry then. I'll bring you back some fruits and warm porridge."

"Thanks a lot Maya," I shouted before retreating back into the shower.

Coward.

Despite spending much too long in under the water I was still in the mood for a bath, and I was wrapped in towels when Maya and Emily came back.

"What's the matter?" Maya asked immediately.

I was pulling a long face, sitting on my bed.

"I don't want to put my travelling dress back on, it's disgusting."

The princess gave me a critical look, put down the bowl of fruits and gruel on the desk and then kicked into action.

"At least a couple of your day outfits should be ready tomorrow, but wait a moment, I think I have a dress that could fit you."

There was no denying that I was curvier than Maya.

I nodded and she was back in a flash with a forest green sleeveless dress, which luckily could be adjusted under the bust. I vanished into the bathroom to change and Maya tied the bow behind my back. It was simple, a bit short on me, but I felt a million times better.

I exhaled with a satisfied smile and dropped next to Maya on the couch. Emily had was busy drawing on the notebook the princess had gifted her yesterday during our interminable dress measuring session.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" She nudged me with sparkling eyes. "Nicholas didn't show up for breakfast either."

I stared at my feet, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Did you two have a lovers' quarrel?"

"What?" Thank goodness I couldn't pull a full on blush anymore, or my face would have radiated like the sun. "No, we're not... we're not like that."

Even I heard the note of disappointment in my voice. She wouldn't let go now, I could tell.

"It sure looks like you are," she teased, curiosity all over her cheeky smile.

"No, we'd just had a talk..."

"Huh, when? We were together late last night."

I cleared my throat, caught off guard. She was sharp, she'd make a great politician if she was given the chance.

"Early, very early this morning. Nicholas is always up at dawn... well anyway," I quickly continued, "I found out what Nicholas got from Lord Fredricksen."

Her expression changed and she listened intently. That'd been close but I'd gotten her off my tracks.

"I don't actually know what it is, so don't get ahead of yourself. It's a little glass figurine, a bit like a pendant, shaped like an '8'."

I made the shape with my hands and noticed she was staring in utter shock.

"With a little blue gem in the middle?" She asked when she remembered how to breathe.

I nodded, intrigued by her reaction.

"A meeting with The Voice! To think Fredricksen had a token for all these years and never used it..." She was talking to herself now. "How did he ever manage to get his hands on it? What price Nicholas must have paid?"

She returned her individed attention back to me.

"Do you know what Nicholas wants to ask?"

I shook my head. Even if we were crossed, it felt wrong to share this information with the princess. I didn't know what the ramifications were if he became human, and the memory of the pain on his face held my tongue.

"So what is it? Is it magical?"

I was thinking of a real, working Oracle 8 Ball but I kept that to myself. I didn't think it was a reference we'd share.

"No, the object doesn't do anything itself, it's a token, a pass. I forget you don't know anything..."

I let it slide.

"The Voice speaks on behalf of the Guardians. What Fredricksen gave Nicholas is, in essence, a private meeting with all fourteen Guardians. These tokens use to be fairly common, but they disappeared a while back - we're talking centuries since the last individual interview was held."

"Wow."

So that was what he had meant. Nicholas was going to confront the Guardians head on.

"Aaargh, what I'd give to know what he's going to ask," the princess erupted, bouncing on the couch.

She froze all of a sudden and took my hands in hers.

"Ellie! Maybe he's going to ask how to get you and Emily back to your world!"

It took me a second to process her words. If only you knew, Maya.

"That's unlikely. And remember, we only met a few weeks ago, but you said he'd been at Lord Fredricksen's service for years."

"Oh yes, you're right."

There was a silence before she resumed, pensive.

"Do you think you could ask him for the token? I think he could actually give it to you if you asked."

There it was again, the stabbing of tears through my throat.

"I don't think so. Plus it would be very unfair, don't you think? After all his hard work, it must be really important to him."

My voice dragged and I knew I'd given away too much. Maya didn't chase it though. She was empathic enough to know when to call it quits. A sad understanding clouded her face, and she took me in her arms.

"Look Ellie, I made you a drawing!"

I took a deep breath and invited Emily to sit on my knees.

"Ooh, that's very pretty!" Maya praised her and the little girl beamed.

"I'll make one for you too!"

"I hope so," the princess replied on cue.

"What is it bunny? Is that me there?"

There was an awful lot of yellow all over the page, and a big black splodge. She enjoyed drawing but art was not her strongest point.

"It's when you and Nicholas are dancing at the ball," she explained with her serious voice on.

Oh, yeah. The ball.

I'd forgotten about that.

Chapter 36

The sun inundated the bedroom, and it took me a moment to remember where I was.

"Sorry Ellie," Emily apologized in her tiny voice, "I couldn't see my colors for my drawing."

I stretched and rubbed my eyes, yawning in a very un-ladylike manner.

Why was I incapable of waking up on my own?

"Good morning Emily." I yawned again. "Have you been up long?"

"Huh huh," she shook her head, lying on the carpet amidst sheets of paper and crayons.

"Good."

I sat up against the cushioned headboard, giving my brain some time to remember what brains do.

The bright blue sky which poured in through the window cut a fitting rectangle in the white and ocean blue room. I drank in the view, rocked by the waves of clouds the wind was pushing through. It would have been a glorious day to run through the plains, I considered. Shame I had nowhere to go for a while longer. Three days to the Ball, I counted, two if I didn't include today. I couldn't wait for it to be over. It was going to be so awkward.

No, I corrected myself.

No, I was going to have a great time and let him watch. Maybe I'd even dance with real gentlemen, in front of him if possible.

I swung out of bed, stepping on the duvets and pillows I had tossed out in my sleep.

"I fancy a ton of cake for breakfast, I might even eat all of yours!"

Emily's head flipped up, appalled.

"No you can't! You can't eat all my cakes!" She paused and sat up, thinking. "You can have the weird white ones, I don't like them, they're not nice."

"Great, thanks a lot bunny," I laughed. "And then it's in my teeth and not nice. And it smells."

"Ok, I get it. You can keep your cakes, just don't make me eat these."

She nodded, a huge grin on her doll-like face.

I looked for the green dress Maya had lent me, and found it neatly folded by a pile of clothes on the armchair. I pulled a beautiful pair of dark teal chinos out of the lot.

"Princess Maya brought the clothes for you, and she gave me two dresses too, so I am drawing her a really, super very pretty nice picture." And take a breath. Emily always spoke like she was swimming underwater.

"That's very nice of her. Make sure to say thank you too."

"Yes, I know."

I picked a flowy white blouse to go with the trousers, and grabbed my shoes and blades from under the gray hooded dress I'd left by the bed. The wide leather belt I needed to carry the gold blades looked out of place with the rest of my outfit, but it was an improvement nonetheless. The chinos were spot on around my hips, and everything was a perfect fit thanks to the phonebook worth of measurements the seamstress and her assistants had scribbled.

"Which dress do you want?" I asked the little girl even though I knew her answer.

"The pink one!"

"The pink one it is then," I smiled, the dress already in my hand.

I held Emily's hand as we power walked through the corridors. The sun was halfway through its ascension, and I didn't want to miss breakfast again.

"You should have gone ahead with Maya, bunny."

I'd feel bad if she missed out on her pastries because of me.

"I wanted to finish my drawing first!"

I knocked once and pulled Emily into the morning room.

"Ah company!" Lord Fredricksen exclaimed, sat in his customary place at the head of the table. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd all abandonned me," he chastized with a kind smile.

I brought Emily's chair closer to the edge of the table and sat in the seat the lord had pulled for me.

"Where is... Where are Princess Mayasena and Nicholas?"

I'd never been alone with the Lord, let alone spoken to him since we'd arrived. I was a little intimidated by the old man. Despite his age, he was undeniably charismatic and deceivingly sharp.

Please Ellie, no faux pas, no diplomatic incident.

"The princess and the pathfinder are busy arranging a suit for the ball I believe," he replied as he offered me some tea.

"Oh."

I nodded, and suddenly found myself intensly absorbed by my teacup as years of social awkwardness resurfaced.

Silence is bad, silence is antisocial, I could hear my mom prompting me from across time and space.

The glass house was only filled with chewing sounds and the delicate clinking of china for several long minutes.

Speak, for crying out loud. Who knows, he could ask you a trick question in a minute and you're cornered. Ask something first.

"I was wondering why Princess Mayasena and yourself call Nicholas the 'Pathfinder', I know it's his nickname..."

I stopped myself short, livid.

Great start, Ellie. Just fantastic. Why mention the weather or the food when there are such interesting, risky, topics to consider? Now he's going to ask if you've been to Desideratum, and before you know it he'll demand to know your whereabouts at the time of Jonas' murder.

"A nickname? Oh no, my dear, I'd never dare. Nicholas is a genuine Pathfinder, a servant of the Guardians."

Oh, so that was what it meant. Understanding must have been evident on my face because Fredricksen's smile relaxed.

"For a second there," he said, "I thought I'd put my foot in it and revealed something I wasn't supposed to," he chukled and I smiled nervously.

"It's me, I hadn't put two and two together."

Nicholas could have pointed it out too to be honest, but I didn't say that.

"It's an interesting title, 'Pathfinder'," he continued pensively. "It's the oldest granted by the Guardians. Modern academics think that it refers to the ability to see on which path someone stands, but they're wrong. The name originates from the exceptional ability to find the paths which link the circles, and thus travel from world to world. Common history books don't even mention that definition," he boasted jovially.

I wasn't feeling so cheerful. I hid my shaking hands under the table.

"Are you sure? That sounds a little far fetched - no offence intended," I added quickly when he frowned.

He couldn't. He couldn't have lied to me that much. I knew he wanted me to stay with him, but to go that far... Had he been able to take us home from the first day we'd met?

Calm down, Ellie.

"Oh believe me, I know from a... trustworthy source that Nicholas explores worlds away from Origin," the lord assured me with a knowing nod.

My pulse was rising. He wouldn't have done that to us. I refused to believe it.

Lucy's death.

The air was burning inside my lungs. The doubt was incendiary, I stood over an precipice of rage and betrayal.

I had to know, I had to be completely sure. I had a hunch and I wanted to be proven wrong.

I bluffed.

"Of course, pardon me my Lord, young people have so little attention, you know. Nicholas mentionned he'd been collecting... items for you from far away worlds."

It was crazy but I had to try. Fredricksen's bushy white eyebrows rose in surprise.

"After all these years... I never thought he'd tell anyone about our arrangement. Well, good for him. I knew straight away you were special."

Not special. His pet, his toy, his belonging, to be lied to and manipulated, possessed at any cost.

"And you know to keep our little secret to yourself, don't you? The Council wouldn't look down too kindly on my... hobby."

There was a strong nuance of threat in the old man's voice.

Like I cared.

I nodded, fighting back the deluge of emotions. The walls were closing in on me. I was falling and there was nothing to hold me back. All this time Nicholas had been the one who could bring us back to our world. No wonder he was always so evasive! I couldn't sit down, if I stayed put the pain would floor me. I didn't say anything. I stood up and left the room before Fredricksen could get to his feet.