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'Thank you for making this the best day at work,' he whispered, stroking the curve of her cheek.
'Anytime, lover,' she murmured, with a wink and watched him unlock and open the door.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 1 year agoClearly Benjamin is overwhelmed and incompetent in running his own business!! Fucking hire staff to read those contracts as he seems out of his depth!!
How is the wife not fucking Steve!!
THIS IS NOT ROMANCE
RodThrustinover 1 year agoWell done. A re-read might have eliminated a minor typo or two, but still, well done.
Anonymousinblue does have a valid point. Either the Onyx subject should have been developed more, or eliminated. One of the rules of writing: Chekhov's gun: “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there.”
anonymousinbluealmost 6 years agoThe desire to find out about Onyx, which is apparently related to the contract he just signed, made it almost difficult to enjoy the rest...but for erotica, it's not bad. In fact, there's a lot good. They speak to each other respectfully, a rare thing where insults in jest are used casually.
Her helping with his work was actually pretty hot as suggested by the narrator. Damn, it took all the words out of my mouth for that topic. The exposition of her intellect and demonstration of her value with the Onyx comment leaving an untied string is interesting, and although unsupported by the rest of the story, gives some room for doubts. I wonder if this is part of the authors' toolbox, and has no meaning other than to wonder if there's any meaning. I loved this snippet:
"Jennifer nodded and tried to blink back the tears; which pricked her eyes. She felt her heart swell with love for the man before her"
Fantastic portrayal, along with helping him finish whatever work and everything else, of the union they share. Everything else was within acceptable limits between too explicit and too vague.
This is written like every thought I've had about the concepts reduced to formula was included; I guess I was right. This was a romantic erotic coupling, and awesome.
Spencerfictionalmost 6 years agoI would have liked to see work of this quality grace the Loving Wives category, which seems bogged down with unloving wives or multi-tryst-in-front-of-hubby wives.
