The Blue Guitar

After hearing the story of Orpheus, Orrin often wondered if his music would ever draw someone to him like Orpheus' music had. Orrin remembered the few times he had met beautiful women who had attracted him, but his shyness made it impossible for him to even talk to them. He would just feel awkward and tongue-tied, so he composed music expressing his feelings, but for some reason, he never had the opportunity to play it for them.

Orrin took lessons from Apollo for two years, but then his mom and her boyfriend broke up and Orrin and his mom moved away. Orrin didn't want to move and wished he could stay in Roxboro and live with Apollo, who was more like a father to him than anyone in his life, but Apollo was old and Orrin's mom really needed him to get a job and help support them. He was almost fifteen when they moved away. He wasn't doing well in school in the new town, hated the place and he never made friends. All he wanted to do was play the guitar and he practiced all the time and never did his homework. He remembered Apollo telling him something Mark Twain had said. "Never let school get in the way of your education." They'd both laughed and Apollo told Orrin he had never finished elementary school, but instead became an apprentice to a guitar maker in Greece. After that, playing music and making guitars was all he ever wanted to do.

Orrin didn't know whether he would ever get the chance to play for Emily, but felt certain that if she could hear the music he was composing for her, she would know he was a lot more than just a janitor at Ainsworth and Thelin and fall in love with him, but he also realized that was unlikely. She was already in love with someone else.

Orrin knew he was lucky to get the job as a janitor for a large, prestigious law firm. When he got back to the States after two tours in Iraq, it was hard to find a job. The economy was bad after what had happened on Wall Street. He didn't know much about that. All he knew was that a lot of the guys coming back had trouble finding jobs. Some were homeless and many were really messed up, both physically and mentally.

Orrin still had nightmares about what he had seen there. It was dangerous and he remembered not knowing who they were fighting. They'd walked the streets with their uniforms and guns and never knew when a bomb would blow up. He knew they were supposed to be fighting terrorists, but it was impossible to know who was a terrorist and who was not. He remembered seeing a bunch of his friends get blown up riding in a truck in front of him and thinking he could have been in that truck. That had happened more than once.

Orrin had his blue guitar while he was deployed and tried to play every day. He knew that if he hadn't had his guitar and played his music, he would have gone insane. He got badly injured when a bomb went off while a few soldiers were walking past a market that sold fruit and vegetables. He was lucky because the guy next to him had his head blown off and another guy had his arm blown away. Orrin got hit with pieces of shrapnel that went into his leg, shoulder and head. He lost a lot of blood and still remembered the excruciating pain. The doctors weren't sure whether they could save his leg or not, but luckily they did. Now he had scars and a slight limp. Another friend of his, actually his best friend while he was there, lost his hand, and Orrin pondered what would have happened to him if he had lost a hand and couldn't play the guitar. Still, he grieved for his friend's horrible injury.

Though Orrin was shy, he did have his first sexual experience while he was in Iraq, and it was there that he had learned how powerful his music could be. He would often sit by the Tigris River playing the guitar. One day when he was playing, a young Iraqi woman, wearing a long black dress and with her head covered, came out from behind a nearby grove of date palms and he turned and saw her listening. He smiled and she came and sat beside him. She spoke a little English and told him she was drawn to his music. He went to that same place whenever he wasn't on duty and she would sit with him by the river and listen to him play. She told him she was eighteen. Orrin was nineteen at the time and although most Iraqi women were frightened of the military, she was not afraid of him. They met often and fell in love. Both were virgins and despite the restrictions on Muslim women, they made love often in the secret spot they'd found.

Their first time together was on a night they met by the river in the evening under a full moon. After he played for her, they made love. He remembered how shy and tentative they both were, but she allowed him to hold her, then eventually as their passion grew, she took off her long dress and the black scarf from her head and he ran his fingers through her long dark hair and entered her as gently as he could and felt their bodies moving slowly and softly, then faster and more passionately until they both exploded in exquisite, unforgettable orgasms, the first of their lives. Afterward she lay quietly in his arms. They looked up at the huge moon and he loved the way it shone silver on the still waters of the Tigris.

They met several times a week for three months and Orrin knew it was his music that let them break the barriers between the two cultures although his lover, Aasera, would have been severely punished if their relationship had been discovered. This occurred before Orrin's injury. When that happened, Orrin had no way of contacting her and the ache in his heart for the pain he knew he was causing her by suddenly disappearing was excruciating. Though the two lovers disappeared from each other's life, Orrin knew he would never forget her. He knew Aasera was gone from his life, but hoped that one day he would meet someone who made him feel the way she had. That yearning could be heard in his music.

When Orrin returned back home, he lived with his mom for a while, in a small apartment over a dry cleaners store. He would smell the steam that rose from the first floor. His mother worked as a waitress in a pizza shop and had a boyfriend who often stayed in the apartment. Orrin felt like he was in the way and the man, Ben, didn't like Orrin's music, while Orrin couldn't stand the loud heavy metal music Ben played. When Orrin finally got the job as a janitor he moved into his own apartment on the third floor of an old house. The elderly woman who owned it, Mrs. Rose, was deaf and so she didn't mind that Orrin practiced and composed music late at night.

One day, Orrin got up the nerve to see if he could play music in a restaurant. He had heard about a place called Mama's Café that had different musicians play at dinner and throughout the evening, so he got up the nerve and asked if he could play there. He had to audition and noticed that when the owner, Julie, heard him play, her eyes widened and she seemed mesmerized by his music. She called a few of her employees over to listen and Orrin observed their reactions. Julie said she had never heard anyone play the way he did. That really surprised him. He'd hardly ever played for other people before. He had in Iraq, but only a few of the soldiers liked his music and most thought his blue guitar was weird.

It was hard to describe Orrin's music. It was a combination of classical, jazz and blues. Though he loved classical music-especially Vivaldi, he'd started listening to jazz guitarists like Django Reinhart, Larry Coryell, Kenny Burrell and a few Delta Blues guitarists like Honey Boy Edwards, and somehow he combined all that into his own music.

So, there he was playing background music in Mama's Café on Friday and Saturday nights. Julie couldn't pay him, but she gave him dinner and he could have a beer, or sometimes a glass of wine, and he would sit in the corner and play. He had a large glass cookie jar that people put tips in. Sometimes he made forty or fifty dollars. It was nice to make the money, but what really mattered to Orrin was the way people listened.

Even though they were there for dinner, or to sit at the bar and drink, when he played, he could tell people liked his music. It was amazing how the whole place would get quiet and instead of providing background music, it was like he was performing. People even applauded and Julie told him that he was the only musician playing there who got applause. She told him that her business was much better when he was playing, and that he was drawing people there. She even made a sign with his name on it which she put in the window when he played—Tonight, Orrin Star. Star wasn't his real name, but for some reason he chose to use that instead of his true last name, Richardson. The name just popped into his head. Things like that happened to him. It was like his music. The melodies and harmonies just came to him in a way he couldn't explain.

He often pictured the way Apollo looked up at the ceiling when he was playing the music he'd composed for his dead wife. When Orrin played, he would do the same thing. He looked up at the ceiling, then his eyes would close and the music would come to him. He felt he was playing music for the girl of his dreams. He must have been doing something right because so many of the people who heard him play at Mama's would drop money in his cookie jar and tell him his music was exquisite, and some women said it made them cry. He started seeing the same people come back week after week, and it made him feel good to see how deeply his music touched them.

One Friday night, he was playing with his eyes closed so he hadn't seen Emily sit down at a table with a tall man. When he opened his eyes, he couldn't believe she was there and would hear his music. He saw the surprise on her face when she glanced at him, but she continued talking to her boyfriend. At first, she wasn't paying any attention to his music. Orrin tried not to look at her, but a few times, he glanced over and saw her holding her boyfriend's hands across the table and felt a painful thud in his heart. He tried to concentrate on his music, but occasionally, when he glanced in her direction, he noticed that she had stopped talking and was listening to his music. Several times their eyes met, but she would quickly return her focus to the conversation with her boyfriend. When they finished dinner, they both came over and her boyfriend put two dollars in Orrin's cookie jar, but Emily smiled and said, "Orrin, I didn't know you were such an amazing musician. Your music is beautiful, it really is. I loved it."

When she left, Orrin couldn't get her words out of his mind. He was so happy that she had found out he played the guitar and was more than a janitor. On Monday, when he was sweeping the hallway, he glanced in and she looked up and smiled. Their eyes met and Orrin felt she was looking at him differently. When he finished sweeping and cleaning the bathrooms, Orrin went into her office to empty her wastepaper basket and she stopped working and smiled.

"Orrin, I was so impressed with your music the other night. It was beautiful. I've never heard music like that. Where did you learn to play like that?"

Orrin was stunned and happy to hear Emily's reaction and it made it easier to respond. "I've been playing since I was twelve and my music is the most important thing in my life. I live to play music."

"Really? I'd love to hear you play again sometime."

"Well, I play at Mama's Café every Friday and Saturday night. You could come there and hear me play."

He was emptying her wastepaper into the larger recycling trashcan and was about to leave when he turned to her. "I have an idea, I could play for you after work. It's a nice day. We could go to the park across the street and I could give you a private concert."

"That would be lovely," she said. "But I'm meeting my boyfriend, Allen, after work."

"Oh well, maybe some other time." He tried not to sound crushed.

A few days later, Orrin composed music that reminded him of Emily. He played it in his room for two nights, and the next day he brought his guitar to work and went to her office and said, "I want to play something that I made up for you."

She stopped what she was doing and Orrin sat down on a chair in front of her desk and took his guitar from its case. "It's called, Rhapsody for Emily."

When he played, his fingers moved gracefully and delicately up and down the guitar strings. He looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes and moved his head from side to side and in his mind he could see Emily's face, her green eyes, her dark hair, her lovely radiant skin. The haunting melody and mystical chords that came from his fingers expressed the love he felt when he thought of her. When he finished and looked at her, he saw tears in her eyes. Gloria had stopped what she was doing, and she looked like she was going to cry too.

"That was so beautiful Orrin, thank you. I loved it. I can't believe you made that up for me. It made me want to cry."

Gloria came over and stood in front of Emily's desk. "Orrin, I didn't know you could play the guitar so beautifully. I've never heard anything like that before."

Orrin didn't know what to say, but felt relieved that Emily liked it. He sat there, holding his guitar and tried to think of something to say other than thank you. Emily just looked at him. After a minute or so, Orrin stood up. "Well, I better get back to work." He put his guitar in its case and left the office.

Once in the hallway and out of their sight, he took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, hardly able to believe he'd had the nerve to play that music for Emily. While he worked, he hummed the melody and thought how she'd looked at him when he played. He was happy and wondered if Emily would go to the movies with him, or for coffee if he asked her, but then he thought about her boyfriend and sighed at how nuts he was to even have such a crush on her.

The next Friday night when he was playing at Mama's Café, Julie came over and again told him how many people had said they loved his music, and that they'd been telling others about him. She said his playing had helped her business and even her staff commented on how his music added so much to the atmosphere and that their tips were better when he played. Of course that thrilled him, but what really thrilled him was that late that night, about a half hour before closing, with just a few customers in the café, Emily came in by herself. She was wearing jeans, a white peasant blouse that revealed her shoulders and a yellow silk scarf around her neck. She looked very different from the way she did at the office. She sat at a small table in the corner and smiled when their eyes met. She ordered a glass of red wine and listened to him play. When he played, he looked up at the ceiling with his eyes closed as if praying for the music to come to him, but a few times he glanced over at Emily and loved how she was listening with a slight smile on her lips and her eyes gazing at him as if seeing him for the first time.

Orrin knew this would be his last piece before the café closed. Only one couple remained, finishing their dinner. Orrin decided to play the Rhapsody for Emily and could tell she recognized it by the way she smiled and closed her eyes and listened. Orrin played it slowly. He knew he had never played anything more beautifully and could feel tears in his eyes and on his cheeks as he played, even though his eyes were closed.

When he finished, the other couple got up, put some money in his jar and left. Emily still sat at her table and after Orrin put his guitar in his case, he went over. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, carrying his half-finished glass of wine.

"Of course not." She smiled up at him.

"I'm glad you came to listen to me play." He sat down.

"I'm glad I did, too. I love your music. It's really special, and I love the piece you wrote for me. I haven't stopped thinking about it. No one has ever done that for me before. I was really touched."

"Thank you." He smiled and sipped his wine.

He didn't know what else to say, but was glad that Emily was beginning to see that he was a lot more than a janitor, something he had hoped would eventually happen.

Orrin knew Julie and the others wanted to clean up and close, but they didn't seem to mind that the two of them were sitting and finishing their wine. While they were talking, Orrin kept looking at Emily's blue-green eyes, her long dark hair halfway down her back and liked how she looked in the low-cut peasant style blouse and jeans. I don't believe she's here. She's so beautiful.

"When I came here with my boyfriend, I was surprised to see you. I had no idea you played the guitar."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Orrin said, gradually feeling more confident and sensing her interest in him.

"What else don't I know about you?" She sipped her wine and looked at him over the rim of her glass.

"Well, I'm not just a janitor. I'm a composer and I've been playing the guitar since I was twelve. You already know I'm shy and do stupid things like offering you gum when I don't know what to say."

"But you brought me flowers...that was sweet of you."

"Well, I thought you would like them."

"I can't tell you how much I love your music. You're so talented. I came here tonight because I couldn't stop thinking about the song you wrote for me, but it was something else I felt."

"What did you feel? I'd love to know. I never get the chance to talk to anyone about my music. Playing here is good and people give me tips so I know they like it, but would you tell me what you felt?"

"Passion, I felt your passion, but when I watched you play with your eyes closed, it's as if you are someplace else, in another world. It's fascinating. How did you learn to play like that?"

"You're going to think this is strange, but when I was twelve, I saw this guitar I play in a music store. There was something about the blue color that made me want to touch it and I knew I had to have it. I wasn't sure why at the time, but the guy who made it, gave it to me and taught me how to play. His real name was Apollo, you know, like the Greek god of music, but everyone called him Paul, and he said I was meant to have this guitar and that was how I learned."

"Apollo, that is strange. I've never heard of anyone named Apollo."

"I know. He was a master and he taught me how to play, but I had to stop taking lessons when my mom and I moved. He inspired me, and all I've ever wanted to do from the day I met Apollo was play and compose music."

Emily gazed into Orrin's eyes, captivated by what she was hearing. She just looked at him and finished her wine just as Julie came over to the table and said the restaurant was ready to close.

"Let's go for a walk," Emily said. "It's a warm evening and I'm enjoying getting to know you."

"Good idea," Orrin said, surprised. He sensed her fascination with him and quickly emptied the cookie jar without counting, stuffed the money in his pocket, picked up his guitar case and joined Emily who was waiting for him at the front door. It was late and the streets were empty. They walked down the street for several blocks, then through the park until they sat on a bench overlooking a pond. Orrin couldn't believe he was actually sitting there with the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He could tell by the way she sat next to him with her arm touching his that something special was growing between them. She picked up his right hand and looked at his long fingernails, then lifted his hand, brought it to her lips and kissed it.

Without saying the words, Orrin knew she was falling in love with him. He was already in love with her. She moved her mouth to his. He turned and they kissed, first gently, tenderly, then she put her hand on the back of his head, pulling him deeper, harder against her lips. Her tongue opened his mouth. Their tongues touched and he tasted the warm wetness. He put his arms around her shoulders and they embraced. Her breasts pressing against his chest thrilled him. Their tongues swirled. His hardness strained against his jeans. Suddenly, she pulled her mouth away and gasped.