The Broken Mirror

Author's note:

This story is a follow up of sorts to Evergreen Kiss. Sarah and Meaghan make an appearance, and are a catalyst for the events of the story, but they're not the main characters.

The story isn't a quick read; if you're looking for that, move on.

~~~

Christine picked the phone up from her desk and looked at the incoming caller id. 989 area code. Her thumb hovered over the ignore button for a second or two - better to let it go to voice mail. There was absolutely nobody she wanted to talk to in Michigan. But some instinct changed her mind, so instead she tucked her hair behind her ear pressed the answer button.

"This is Christine Wainwright."

"Hi, Chrissy. It's Meaghan. Meaghan Williams."

Christine's heart jumped into her throat. Meaghan was her only real friend in high school, and the only unreservedly good memory she had of her childhood before getting on the plane to go to Stanford. Meaghan's voice stirred up a hornets' nest of emotions - there was joy, certainly, but it was mixed with guilt for not speaking to Meaghan since high school, and a host of bad memories. Thinking about the past was something Christine tried to avoid.

Christine tried to keep her voice steady and not emotional, and had a hard time. "Oh my god, Meaghan. How are you? It's been forever."

"I'm good. I know I'm two years late, but I've been meaning to call you and congratulate you on getting married. The wedding pictures you posted on Facebook were beautiful. You looked amazing in your dress, and your husband is quite handsome."

Even more guilt. Christine had agonized for days about whether to invite Meaghan to the wedding, and in the end decided not to. As much as she wanted Meaghan there, having someone who reminded her about the bad parts of her life at a time that was supposed to be happy was just too much.

"I'm so sorry I didn't invite you. . ."

"It's okay. Really. I know how much you wanted to leave your past behind when you went away to college, and I respected that. Besides, I had a lot going on in my life then too."

It was hard to tell for sure over the phone, but Christine couldn't hear any blame or hurt in Meaghan's voice, and the knot that had been tightening in her stomach eased away.

Meaghan continued "Anyway, the reason I called is that I'm going to be in DC in a few weeks, and I was hoping maybe we could get together for dinner or something."

"I'd love to - that would be really great."

Christine let the flood of relief and happiness get a little ahead of her, and she added "You should come out and see the house and have dinner with us. I'll cook."

That was not something Christine ever did. Business meetings and even social dinners were always at a restaurant, usually in the city rather than out by the house. Her husband Bob did have people from the Senator's office over for dinner from time to time, and even the Senator himself once, but those occasions were always meticulously planned and catered. The only social gatherings at the house were Bob's buddies coming over for the occasional weekend football game or backyard cookout. Bob, a fifth generation North Carolina native, would NOT call grilling burgers a barbecue. Christine usually put out the food, drove to her office in the city, and didn't come back until the guys were gone.

Meaghan replied in the warm tone Christine remembered from high school as her happy voice "That sounds lovely."

"So what brings you to DC?"

"Just being a tourist. I got married too, about the same time you did, and we've never really taken a big vacation together. The nation's capital seems like kind of an amazing place, something you should visit at least once in your life, and neither one of us has ever been."

"Wow. Congratulations. I'm really happy for you. Who is . . ." Christine let her voice trail off - she didn't know which pronoun to use. She still remembered, as clear as any day of her life, that afternoon in Meaghan's bedroom when Meaghan kissed her. Christine suspected Meaghan had married a woman, but she didn't know for sure.

"Her name is Sarah, and she's wonderful. She's a software developer at the company where I work. We didn't share wedding pictures with the world or anything - life is a little more complicated for us than for straight couples - but I'm really happy with her and what we have together."

Christine could hear a bliss in Meaghan's voice that she almost envied. Her own marriage was exactly what she wanted, but she couldn't imagine her voice ever sounding like that.

Meaghan continued in a more matter of fact tone "So I'll send you an email with our schedule. We have a couple of evenings already planned, but we're free for most of the week. And we're fine with whatever you want to do - going out somewhere or coming to your house. It'll just be nice to see you again, Chrissy."

"Sounds great, Meaghan. I'll let you know in a few days which night works for us. I'm really looking forward to seeing you again, and I'm sure Bob will be happy to meet you both."

"Okay. Bye, Chrissy. It was really good to talk to you again."

"Bye, Meaghan. You too."

Christine hung up the phone, and she was on a happy cloud for the rest of the day. She had only had three or four close friends in her life, and not keeping in touch with Meaghan was her one big regret. She meant what she said about having Meaghan and Sarah to the house for dinner. More than anybody else, she wanted to show Meaghan what that girl from the trailer park in Michigan had achieved for herself.

~~~

Christine got home at six and started cooking. She had an agreement with Bob that each of them would cook dinner at least once a week, and Christine stuck to it almost every week, even if Bob didn't. The firm had her for way too many hours, and she needed to set a few boundaries for herself. Morning workouts were one, and cooking dinner was another.

She was never a very good cook - she never had anybody to learn from - but she was working her way through a shelf of well-reviewed cookbooks, and could at least produce competent renditions of most of the American basics. That's generally what Bob wanted to eat anyway, so it worked out. Tonight was meatloaf, mashed potatoes and broccoli. She had wanted to try something new, but after her conversation with Meaghan, she was very happy and a little distracted, so easy comfort food was what she was looking for.

When the meatloaf was in the oven, Christine went upstairs and changed from her gray work suit into a comfy old blue cotton dress. It was one of her favorites, and she noted with a little pride that it still fit the same way it had in college. She breathed a little sigh of relief at being out of her nylons - she never liked wearing them, but she preferred skirts and dresses to pants suits at work, and the nylons were a necessary evil. She unclipped the barrette from the back of her head and shook her head to let her brown hair down, and then brushed it out. It had gotten just past her shoulders - time for a haircut.

Christine leaned over her dresser and looked in the mirror to check her makeup. The mirror was a large mahogany-framed oval, with an elaborate carving at the crown. The glass was original, close to a hundred years old, and there were ripples in it that distorted the reflection a little. It had belonged to her great-grandfather, and then to her great-aunt, and it was the one thing Christine had brought with her after her great-aunt moved from the mobile home into the nursing home. She didn't like the thing that much, but it was all she had left of her family.

She touched up her lipstick, and fussed with her hair a little more. Christine made a point of always looking nice around the house for her husband. Whether he appreciated it or even noticed was beside the point. She went downstairs to finish dinner, still smiling about her afternoon phone call.

Bob walked in the door around seven forty, just a few minutes later than he said he would be, and he immediately knew what was for dinner. "That smells like meatloaf, hon. I think you've just made my day." He had a big smile on his face as he went in the fridge to pull out a beer.

"I thought you might like it. Guess who called me today."

Bob shrugged and asked "Who called you today?"

"My friend Meaghan from high school. I hadn't spoken to her since I left that little town I used to call home."

"I thought you didn't have any friends in high school, at least none worth telling me about."

"I had one friend - Meaghan. I've told you about her, more than once. Anyway, she's coming to DC in a couple of weeks, and wanted to get together."

"Super - that'll be fun. You always have me at a disadvantage, knowing all my buddies, and I don't know anybody from your past except that couple up in Philadelphia."

"Well, I don't think even you can charm much dirt out of her about me in high school. I really didn't do anything worth talking about."

"We'll see 'bout that, hon. We'll see."

"Anyway, I invited them to house. I said I'd cook dinner for them."

"Oh, really? That's the first time you ever invited anybody to the house. You must be getting more confident in the kitchen. It'll be nice to have guests. That meatloaf smells great, by the way, and I'm hungry."

Christine finished putting the plates together and set them on the table. She really did feel more confident about her cooking ability.

As she sat down, she said with a grin "You don't have to eat the broccoli if you don't want it, but I'm still putting it on your plate." Bob ignored her, with the same grin.

A few satisfied bites in, Bob asked "She married? You said you invited 'them'."

"Yes, she's married. They live in Seattle and they both work for a software company out there. Her wife's name is Sarah."

Bob paused, a chunk of meatloaf suspended from his fork, and stared at Christine. "Her wife? Are you saying they're homosexuals?"

"I suppose they are. I didn't really think anything of it." Christine had thought quite a bit about it, but she certainly wasn't going to tell her husband.

"Now Christine, you know I can't have those kind of people in my house. The Senator's position on the marriage issue is quite firm, and all the rest, as you well know. How would it look if his legislative director had two married homosexuals in his home for dinner? It's bad enough that you socialize with your doctor friend Anne. At least she's discreet about her lifestyle."

Christine started to get a little defensive and hurt. "It's not like there are going to be TV cameras around when they come. But I suppose you're right. I knew when I married you that everything was going to be political, including some things that shouldn't be. I'll offer to take them to dinner somewhere in the city. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

She let the remark about Anne go. Christine honestly didn't have any idea about her orientation - Anne hadn't talked about dating anyone the whole time Christine had known her. And if she was gay, so what?

Bob replied with a smile "I appreciate that, hon. I know there are things about the life of a public figure that you don't like, and I'm sorry, but we all have to make sacrifices." It seemed to Christine that the 'all' in that sentence was mostly her.

Her happy bubble of the day popped, and Christine smiled weakly at her husband and finished her dinner in silence. She couldn't keep herself from thinking "You're not a public figure, you pompous ass; you're, generously, third in command on the staff of a public figure." She didn't like thinking ill of her husband, but sometimes she couldn't help it.

~~~

The next afternoon at work, an email from Meaghan popped into Christine's inbox, and some of the happiness from the day before returned. It really would be nice to see Meaghan again, even if it couldn't be quite the way she wanted.

Meaghan and Sarah would be in town Sunday night through the next Saturday. Christine wanted to pick an evening early in their trip, so they would have the option to do something else if everybody wanted to. She suggested Monday night at a pub not far from her office. It had good access to the metro, since they weren't renting a car; it was casual, so they wouldn't have to dress up; and it was a fun place - good atmosphere, not too loud, good food and good beer.

Christine didn't mention that her husband would not be coming, and felt a little bad about it. She'd make an excuse later. Meaghan replied the next day and said that sounded great, and Christine was back on her happy cloud for the rest of the week.

~~~

That Friday night, Christine planned to have dinner with Anne. Anne was her best friend, the way Meaghan had been in high school. They tried to get together at least once every week or two, even with their crazy schedules. It was usually just the two of them - Bob always seemed to have dinner meetings with people from work. Christine guessed Bob didn't like Anne very much, although he never said anything beyond that crack at dinner about her lifestyle.

Bob was on a hunting trip for the weekend with some of his buddies from back home, a lot of whom also worked in the Senator's office. Christine understood hunting for food - one of her neighbors in Michigan had supplemented his food stamps with some birds and small animals he brought home. But she thought what Bob did was barbaric - more about killing than about need. Bob's buddy Mike did a good job of dressing and cooking the deer, and that made Christine feel a little better about it, but not much.

When Bob called from the truck as the guys left town, Christine said, like she always did, "Have fun killing Bambi!" Bob was too clueless to know it was anything more than gentle teasing.

Christine looked forward to dinner that night with Anne even more than she usually did. She needed to spend some time with a real friend. She loved Bob, but sometimes he was tough to be around, and she needed to talk to somebody about all the feelings Meaghan's call had stirred up.

They went to the same pub where Christine was going to meet Meaghan and Sarah. It was comfortable and easy, just what they both needed. Christine arrived first and grabbed a booth in the back of the place, where it was a little quieter and there were no TVs showing sports. Anne got there about fifteen minutes later, apologizing as she sat down "Sorry - shift was long and crazy, and I had to shower and change. Let's just say I won't be wearing those scrubs again."

Christine replied with a happy smile "It's okay - you're here now. I had my laptop out cleaning up email until just before you got here."

Anne flagged down a waitress and they got two beers and a bowl of peanuts in the shell, and menus so they could order dinner. They chatted easily about random things for a while. Anne did most of the talking - some of the things that come into the ER can be quite entertaining, if not always appropriate for the dinner table.

As they were finishing dinner, Christine told Anne about the big thing on her mind. "I got a call, out of the blue, from my high school friend Meaghan. I was really excited - she's the only person I actually miss from that part of my life. She's going to be in DC in a week, and I invited her out to the house for dinner."

"Cool - that should be really nice for you."

Frustration replaced the happiness in Christine's voice. "It would be, but Bob was kind of a jerk, so we're coming here instead. Without Bob. Meaghan is married, to a woman, and Bob kind of freaked out about that. I know he works for Senator Family Values and all that, but I just don't see the problem."

Anne's face turned bright red, but Christine didn't notice in the dim light of the pub. "Well okay then. Is she bringing her, um, wife with her?"

"Yeah. Her wife's name is Sarah, and they work together at a software company in Seattle. She sounded really happy on the phone."

Christine paused for a moment and then asked "Would you come with me? I'm kind of nervous about meeting her again, and I'd like to have somebody else with me. You don't have to, though, if it makes you uncomfortable."

It did make Anne a little uncomfortable, but she answered "Of course I'll come if you want me to. When?"

"Next Monday at eight. Does that work with your schedule?"

"I think so. If not, I'll get Dan to cover for me - he's always looking for extra work."

"Great - thank you so much. I really appreciate it."

Normally they would have left after a long dinner and a beer, but neither seemed ready to go home quite yet, so they lingered over another beer. Christine had a long train ride before she had to drive back to the house, so she'd be fine to drive by then, and Anne's place was a long walk or a short metro ride away.

They talked for a while about everyday things, but Christine had a thought nagging at the back of her head, trying to get out. Eventually she got up the courage to spit it out.

"At dinner, when Bob was being a jerk about Meaghan and Sarah, he said something about your ... lifestyle. He seemed sure that you were, well, that you are a lesbian."

The blush flooded back into Anne's face, and this time Christine did notice, even under Anne's darker skin. Christine looked down at the table and said "I know it's none of my business, and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You know what - forget I said anything at all."

Anne thought about changing the subject for a second, but decided to answer. "It's okay. The answer is I don't really know. If you had asked me a few years ago, when I was finishing my residency, I would have said 'No way - I'm just waiting for the right man to come along.' But now I'm not so sure the right person is a man.

I was mostly interested in girls in college, but I figured it was just a phase I would grow out of. Lesbian Until Graduation, as they say. Then med school and residency came along, and I didn't have any time for anything but work. I've thought about meeting a man for the last year or two, even dated a few times, but I just don't have any interest. And when I do see someone who looks interesting, it's almost always a woman.

So I don't know. I guess maybe I am."

Christine was surprised. She didn't know what to expect when she spoke up, but that wasn't it. Anne always seemed so sure of everything.

"Are you sure you're okay going to dinner with us then? If it's too weird for you, you really don't have to."

"I'm sure, and even if I weren't, you're my friend and I will be there to support you. Besides, it might be good for me - I need to figure this stuff out for myself if I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, and meeting Meaghan will force me to think about it."

They finished their beers in silence after that, and Anne walked Christine to the train station. Christine gave Anne a big hug and said "Thank you for being such a good friend. I'm really sorry if I upset you."

Anne replied "It's okay. I'm fine. I really am." And she meant it.

~~~

Christine got home late and went straight to bed. She flipped on the TV in the bedroom, but there was absolutely nothing interesting on, so she read for a little while and then tried to go to sleep. After laying there for almost an hour, shifting restlessly, she gave up. With their busy work schedules, she and Bob hadn't had sex in over three weeks. Christine was wound up, and the evening's conversation didn't help. The idea that Bob had been less interested lately worked its way into her head, but Christine banished it as soon as she consciously thought it.

Christine reached into her nightstand and pulled out her vibrator. She had felt vaguely guilty about pleasuring herself since she got married - shouldn't her husband be enough for her? She bought the vibrator to make things go faster - less time meant less guilt - and it definitely worked for that. It also felt really good.