The Candyman

"That's fine. I wouldn't have been very receptive to something like that anyway."

"And I apologize for speaking about your wife and children. It wasn't our place. We were just trying to let you know we had been wrong and...well, I'm sorry."

"Forget about it. I wish I could."

"Anyway, we'd like to try and make up for our lack of manners. During the summer, we have a lot of neighborhood parties. We rotate hosting and have them most weekends. David and I happen to be hosting this weekend and would very much like you to come."

"Look, I appreciate the offer but I'm not very good company these days. And I'm not very comfortable in large groups."

"It won't be too crowded. We have a good-sized backyard and there won't be that many people. Just the families plus a few friends and family that live nearby. Probably not more than 30 people, plus the kids of course."

"I'll think about it, okay. That's the best I can do."

"Please do. I'd...we'd all really like you to come."

She gently put her hand on his upper arm and gave it a slight squeeze, then turned and walked back toward Pam and Doug's house. Henry turned and went back into his house, closing the door without even a look back.

"You invited him to the party?" asked Kalina. "Are you sure that was wise. We still don't really know him."

"And just how are we going to get to know him unless we spend time in social situations, hmm? We couldn't profess to be welcoming him to the neighborhood and then have a neighborhood get-together without inviting him."

"You're right, you're right. I guess I'm still just being overly cautious."

"Besides, he might not even show up."

*****

The week passed without incident, nor was there any indication from Henry one way or the other as to whether he planned to attend the party. The realty sign remained firmly in place.

David and Cara spent the morning getting ready for the gathering. People usually started to arrive around 3:00 and things rarely wrapped up until nearly midnight. All the families on the cul-de-sac made a good living so those that hosted the party also bore the cost, but again it was rotated and everyone took a turn so it all evened out in the end. They could afford it, after all.

By 4:00pm the party was in full swing but Henry had not arrived. In addition to the neighborhood couples they had several guests that attended most weeks. Doug's brother, detective Bob, and his wife, Pauline, were regular attendees, as was Kalina's brother, Michael, and Victor's sister, Selma. Liz's sister, Monique, was here tonight but didn't show up as regularly since she often worked at the hospital on Saturdays. Marisa, Kristin's cousin that used to live just a couple blocks away, was also here tonight even though it was her ex's weekend with the kids.

It was nearly 8:00pm and Cara had popped into the kitchen to get another tray of cheese and crackers when she heard the doorbell, which was odd since everyone was here and they didn't usually stand on ceremony anyway. She opened the door to find an obviously reluctant Henry standing on the other side.

"Henry, you made it. Come in, come in."

She should have known that he wouldn't presume to just walk into the backyard like everyone else, all things considered. She took his arm and guided him through the house and into the backyard.

"We've already eaten but there's still plenty of food. Would you like me to fix you a plate?"

"No, thank you. I ate before I came over. I just..."

The words were lost as Henry took in the crowd outside. The adults were in various groups holding their own conversations while the kids ran amok on the yard, playing tag or hide and seek or some other such game. The big kids played eagerly with the younger ones.

Cara took him around and made the introductions. Because the confrontations had been the entirety of their interactions, Henry had never actually met any of the neighbors, and made only a token effort to commit the names to memory. As the old joke goes, he hoped there wasn't a test later.

Cara stayed with him, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. He stood socially near a group having a conversation but couldn't bring himself to contribute anything to it. These people were all old friends and had known each other for years. They spoke easily with each other and everyone knew what everyone else was talking about. As the evening went on his feeling of isolation grew, and finally he just sat in a chair in corner of the yard.

Cara had returned to her hostess duties so had lost track of Henry but was certain her friends would welcome him and take care of him. They had talked about the need to be open to him, not only because it was the right thing to do as good people and good neighbors but also to make up for their lack of social graces thus far.

It was the movement that caught her eye. She was aware that someone was sitting in a darker corner of the yard but didn't think twice about it until that person moved, and even then it just drew her attention out of curiosity more than anything else. But when she saw the person get up and quietly leave the yard through the gate in the corner she knew immediately it was Henry making an escape. She made the instant decision to catch up to him. She ran through the house and caught him just as he was walking slowly up his driveway.

"Henry, are you okay?"

"I'm...fine. I...it was...I needed to get home."

She slid her arm inside his and hooked his elbow.

"Can we just walk for a few minutes? Would that be okay?"

He didn't answer but allowed her to guide him away from his house and on a stroll down the street. They walked along in silence for a few minutes before Cara broke the quiet.

"Something happened, didn't it? Would you like to talk about it?"

He didn't really, but she was reaching out to him, something that had happened precious few times since the accident and he knew something needed to change.

"I was already anxious because of how crowded things were. I haven't been very good with groups since the...lately. I didn't know anyone and I felt like I was intruding, so I finally just decided to sit and watch the kids play. That was nice at first, but..."

He suddenly went silent.

"But what?" Cara prompted.

"I found myself looking for Ari and Eric, like I always did when we were at the park or something. And of course, I realized that they weren't there, which led to me knowing I'd never see them again and I...I just couldn't stay there any longer."

"Henry, I'm sorry..."

"Please stop apologizing, Cara. I appreciate what you're doing, really."

They walked along a while longer. Cara found herself wanting desperately to help Henry reconnect to the world. It was more than making up for their behavior thus far; this was someone that needed real help, a real friend. Maybe someone to listen but isn't trying to analyze him. If she could just get him talking about things maybe that would be therapeutic. She ventured into dangerous territory but hoped it would help.

"Tell me about your wife, Henry."

A smile came over his face as he thought of her.

"She was amazing. We met in college. We were at the same party; I was there alone and she was with some really big guy. A football player, I think. As the night wore on he got drunk and started being an asshole, so she asked if I'd dance with her. He didn't seem to care at first, but when he wanted to leave he came to get her. She said she was breaking up with him because he always got drunk and ignored her at parties and she was tired of it."

"It sounds like the right choice."

"He said, 'you're dumping me for this loser' and she said no, she was dumping him because he's an asshole. Being with me was just a bonus."

Henry paused a minute, smiling at the recollection. It was hard to talk about her; really hard.

"We were pretty much inseparable after that. We just clicked. We got married about a year after graduation. That's how long it took her and our moms to plan the wedding. She had always wanted a huge wedding. I'd have been happy under a tree in the park with a preacher and a couple of witnesses as long as it all ended with her as my wife."

"I'm sure it was beautiful."

"It was. When Ariel came along 18 months later and Eric 2 years after that things were just perfect. I had everything I ever wanted."

"Tell me about Ariel."

"She was the light of my life. Practical like her mom. She wanted to be a teacher. She was looking forward to the 4^th grade. She wanted to be in Mrs. Nuhn's class, but so did everyone. She was the most popular teacher in the school and Ari wanted to be just like her. We tried to get her involved in sports or cheerleading but she wouldn't do it. She said she was a lady and ladies didn't do those things. She loved girl scouts and she absolutely adored her brother."

"That's nice. No rivalry there?"

"Not at all. They played together all the time, and one time a friend asked Eric to go away so just the girls could play and Ari had a fit. It almost cost them the friendship, and that girl never suggested that again. She'd have been a wonderful teacher, and a great mom."

"How about Eric?"

"He was an old soul. He cared about everyone and everything. He was so sensitive. One time he thought he saw our cat across the street when he was at the school bus stop that he ran home in tears to tell me about it. I had to show him that she was asleep on her bed before he could be calmed down."

"Ariel wanted to be a teacher. What about Eric?"

"Once, a family friend asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said..." Henry started to laugh at the memory. "...that he wanted to be a vegetarian."

Henry kept laughing but it was halting, and Cara looked at him and realized he was crying at the same time. Crying at the loss of his boy while laughing at the humor of the memory. The laughter and the tears were a stark contrast.

"We finally got him to explain that he wanted to be an animal doctor, but we never did convince him the word was veterinarian."

"They sound so precious."

They walked along in silence for a few minutes. Cara hoped that she hadn't caused more problems by getting him to open up but she had heard that talking about things can help lift the crushing grief that envelops people. She knew talking about her own problems, even though they weren't of this magnitude, had helped her in the past.

"I failed them, you know."

Henry's voice broke the silent reverie.

"What do you mean?"

"At its most basic, a father's job is to protect his children, to keep them safe, and I failed."

"Henry, you weren't even there."

"I was supposed to be. I should've been. We had planned to go out to dinner as a family that night. I was going home after work to change and then we'd go together. I...got hung up on something at work, someone's idea of an emergency, and had to stay late. I called Jess and suggested we reschedule but she said the kids were looking forward to it and suggested we just meet at the restaurant. So that's what we did.

"Dinner was nice. The kids were perfect angels as they always were and Jessica looked just beautiful. I never got tired of looking at her. We had two cars, of course, so we said our goodbyes. Jess left first because the kids had an early morning and I stayed behind to pay the bill. Ari asked if she could ride with me but I had to say no because I had my two-seater and she was too small to sit in the front seat with the air bag. Ironic that I said no so she'd be safe.

"They left 10 minutes before I did but I still got home first. I thought Jess may have stopped at the store but that didn't make sense since she wanted to get the kids home, and she would have texted me also. I tried calling and went straight to voice mail. I texted and got no response. I gave her 20 minutes and then went out looking. I drove back toward the restaurant, taking a different route than I had taken home.

"When I saw the flashing lights I knew instantly it was them. I drove over there and ran toward the accident. I saw Jess' van and became frantic. I tried to rush in but the police stopped me. I yelled that it was my wife and kids and I fought against everyone that was trying to hold me back, but they still wouldn't let me go. I found out later they were already gone by that point. There was nothing I could do and they didn't want me to see. I finally had to be sedated and I woke up in the hospital."

The tears were streaming down Cara's cheeks as she imagined what Henry had gone through. Of course, they matched those on Henry's face as well.

"You can't blame yourself, Henry. If you'd been in the car you'd probably be gone now, too."

"Anything would be better than this...this...existing, just waiting to die! At least then I'd be with my wife and my kids."

"I wish I knew something to say, Henry. All I can think to say is I'm sorry."

"There's nothing really to say, Cara. Thank you for listening. I'm gonna go home now."

"No, you're not."

"Cara..."

"Henry, you've had a traumatic evening and there is no way I'm sending you home to sit there alone. You're sleeping in my guest room tonight."

"But David..."

"David has his own bed. Now come on."

Cara pulled on his arm and Henry only put up token resistance. The party was still going on as she led him into the guest room. She sat him down on the bed.

"Start getting undressed. I'll bring you a pair of David's pajamas to borrow."

When Cara returned with a pair of David's pajamas Henry had barely moved. The only difference was that he was sitting instead of standing. She took the initiative, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off his shoulders. She pulled his shoes and then his socks from his feet, and then stood him up and unbuttoned his slacks.

"Am I doing this or are you, Henry?"

He didn't react so Cara continued. He was practically catatonic so she simply went about the business of sliding his pants down, sitting him on the bed, putting the pajama pants on to his legs, pulling him to his feet, and pulling the pants up. She pulled back the covers and had Henry lie down and he rolled on to his side automatically. She pulled back the covers and left the room, turning out the light. She was sure he was asleep before the door was closed.

Cara went outside to rejoin the party, immediately tracking down her husband and letting him know they had a guest and then recounting the events of the evening, as well as Henry's recollection of the night of the accident. They tried desperately to get back into the spirit of the party but weren't particularly successful, and for the first time were actually glad when the party came to an end.

*****

Henry woke the next morning a little disoriented at the unfamiliar surroundings, but soon the previous night came rushing back to him. It was about this same moment that he realized he wasn't alone in the bed: there was someone behind him.

He rolled over on to his back and was shocked to see Cara lying there, seemingly still asleep. He leapt from the bed so fast that he ran into the bedside table and had to save the lamp that he toppled over. All the racket woke up Cara.

"Good morning, Henry."

"Cara, what's going on? Why are you in bed with me? What happened?"

"Hang on, one question at a time."

"You shouldn't be in here with me. What if David were to walk in?"

As if on cue the bedroom door opened and David did walk in, taking a bite out of the apple he was carrying.

"Good morning, you two."

Henry, not picking up on the dynamics of the situation and David's obvious ease after walking in on them, immediately went on the defensive.

"David, I swear nothing happened," he said, glancing back and forth between his hosts.

"Sure it did, Henry," said David. "We were all finally able to get some sleep."

"Huh?"

"You were yelling in your sleep. I'm guessing nightmares."

Henry's head drooped in embarrassment. That particular fact was not one that he wanted to get out, but he felt at this point he owed his hosts an explanation.

"Yep. Every night. I thought I was past the yelling, though."

"I'm sure it was the trauma of last night," Cara said. "Your emotions were all inflamed after the party and our talk. That's why I didn't want you home alone. That and I was afraid..." She trailed off.

"Afraid I'd kill myself? Tried that already, on the anniversary of the accident. Didn't take enough pills. But how'd you end up in bed with me?

"We heard the yelling when we came inside after the party broke up. Cara was able to calm you down by lying next to you for a couple of minutes, but after we went back to our room it wasn't long before you started up again. We tried that a few times before we decided to just have her sleep in here so we could all get some rest."

"David, Cara, I'm so sorry..."

David held up his hand.

"Henry, there is absolutely no apology necessary. You've gone through something I can't even begin to fathom, and frankly wouldn't want to. We are happy to do whatever we can to help, however small it might be. If I were you I'd be locked up in a mental ward."

Time to get it all out in the open, Henry thought.

"I was...for 3 months. After I left the hospital the first time I kept going to the scene of the accident and trying to save them. I snarled up traffic pretty bad. I got hauled in and released a couple of times before they realized I wasn't going to stop. I saw a video of myself. It wasn't pretty."

"You said you tried to...kill yourself?"

'Yep. All I succeeded in doing was making myself sick and being put under 72-hour observation."

"You haven't tried since?"

"No. I realized that if I killed myself I wouldn't see them again. They're waiting for me in heaven and suicide, being a sin, is a one-way ticket to hell. I guess I'll just have to wait."

Cara climbed out of bed and said she'd get some breakfast started. She squeezed David's arm on the way out, more to reassure herself that he was there than anything else, and he followed her out. Henry sat down and got himself together, and then just as he started looking around for his clothes David reappeared with his things.

"We ran them through the wash so you'd have something clean to put on. You'll have to live with yesterday's boxers though. Neither of us was going to take those off of you."

Henry smiled and expressed his thanks as David again retreated to give Henry some privacy. David joined his wife in the kitchen and was taken by surprise when Cara suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. David wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

*****

Cara realized that having Henry come to the barbecue was a mistake because it was inevitable that he would be overwhelmed by the number of people. Instead, she worked out with the families on the street to have him over for dinner individually so he could get to know them better but on a smaller scale.

Cara and David started things themselves that very evening, having Henry join them for Sunday dinner. They introduced him to their boys: Marcus was 12 and Dylan was 9. They talked about David's job as an analyst at a local tech company, which gave them something in common to talk about.

David made a good living, allowing Cara to be a stay-at-home mom, as were a number of the ladies on the street. Those moms that could got together pretty much every morning so the kids could play and the ladies could bond and plan the family activities.

Marcus was the family athlete, starring on his middle school basketball team and also playing little league in the summer. Dylan was the more cerebral one, preferring reading over sports, though both boys were avid video game players.