The Changing

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Gender change through mind power.
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I want thank meathead96
for his most excellent help
in editing this story.

WARNING:

This story is not erotic, but is very sexual, a "Sci-Fi/Fantasy" in nature. It contains sexually explicit scenes, language and some other pretty weird stuff too.

*

My desire to be female has driven me all my life, although I really didn't understand it or want to admit to it at first, but now that I am a girl it's no longer relevant. Cross-dressing and/or gender reassignment surgery had always been out of the question because I viewed it as not only primitive and shallow but inadequate. Put simply, not my idea of being female in any way. No, what I wanted was the real thing, albeit considered unrealistic or even nutty by the current social standards. I was perfectly satisfied to wait until I figured out another way to do it, and I did. This is the story of what ended up happening.

Until about ten years ago I had been what most women would describe as Neanderthal: the stereotypical find-em, fuck-em and forget-em kind of guy. Not that they complained too loudly. Why should they? They were Find-em, fuck- em and forget-em kind of women!

I was absolutely attracted to women on a physical level; the amazing curves, the detail of Gods finest work in my most humble opinion. However, the rising number of conquests with few new discoveries failed to fulfill, and failed to satisfy. I sought something deeper, something closer, something I had experienced only briefly with a select few. I wanted it, craved it, and fixated on it. As months turned into years, I began to intuitively grasp the inevitability of my own transformation and I proceeded to explore any and all means to get there.

The first part of this experience started with my repeated thoughts of being a girl as a child right up to and including the point of transformation. Next was the admission to myself that it was the only 'real' physical crescendo I wanted in my life even though I was a heterosexual male. I ravished females for many years watching and touching every aspect of their physical perspective. I was gaining more and more understanding of exactly what it felt like to be a female physically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.

It started with mild orgasmic physical sensations that increased each time I relaxed and nurtured the highly sexual energy by letting it flow through me freely as I imagined being female. Then the dreams started. I had dreams throughout the night of varying levels of sexual intensity and scenarios of myself turning into a girl. Soon the dreams turned into morning orgasms and intense energy spikes that would last most of the day. Then the waves of orgasmic energy came in a smooth constant flow, sometimes lasting several hours. Over the last several months these sensations began to intensify into prolonged full-blown orgasms, repeating over and over, sometimes disabling me in public places.

With each new wave of orgasm, there was an increase in subtle but perceptible internal physical change. My body was changing, but into what? My fears would always come to the surface any time I felt pleasure or pain levels rise above my ability to comprehend them. Was I changing into something I wanted or was there something else going on? One day I decided I must know regardless. With a single thought I switched off all of my mental and physical resistance and control, raising my tolerance to any levels of pain or pleasure that would be necessary to initiate my transformation, unreservedly acquiescing at a core level.

The following is what happened on that delightful day in June.

****

I thought to myself as I stepped off the Borg branded bathroom scale, "I need some new clothes due to the forty-eight pounds I've lost over the past two weeks." Except for the last pair of worn-out Levis I'd saved since the early eighties I had nothing to wear that fit my now scrawny six foot two, one hundred forty pound frame. If I waited another couple of days, even those wouldn't fit me without suspenders.

I knew that I would be taking a chance going into a public place. I wasn't sure I could make a clean getaway without the usual trip to the hospital that was called in by well meaning people who didn't understand the symptoms of my highly sexual condition.

Over the last several of days, the major "attacks" had subsided and the spasms were happening only about every four hours for 10-20 minutes or so; I knew I could handle those. I decided that I might as well take this opportunity to get out of the apartment. "I am feeling exceptionally well," I thought to myself. And the Mission Mall wasn't far away. I was feeling antsy after being cooped up in the apartment building for over a month so it was time to get out. It was time to smell the roses, coffee, even the smog. Anything but the stale air inside the apartment.

Feeling sufficiently justified and throwing caution to the wind, I jumped into my only pair of Levis and left my sixteenth floor apartment.

I walked down the long hallway to the elevator and began impatiently pressing the down button several times. One minute, two minutes, three, four.... "What the hell is taking the elevator so damn long?" I thought while pacing back and forth in the hallway. I started feeling another all too familiar surge of warm energy building, then triggering a small spasm in my lower abdomen releasing a focused ping from my abdomen to the tip of my penis. Keep moving, keep moving, I thought to myself. It was my only solution to restraining the smaller more numerous waves of this sensation. I felt a slight relief as it momentarily subsided but the loud sound of an apartment door closing on the same floor came echoing down the long hallway. It startled me, causing the mild spasm to return briefly.

Over five minutes passed and the doors finally opened, although it had seemed like hours. As soon as the doors opened, I dove into the elevator and with a perfectly well rehearsed tap on the inside button for the parking garage, I was finally headed down. This was a familiar ride I took every day just to help keep my sanity. The spasms subsided for the moment, but remnants were left behind as a reminder that they could return at anytime to impose their will upon my body.

On the way down, at about the twelfth floor, I felt a mild wave of heat bubbling up in my body. Sweat started pouring out of my pores like so many times before. It was a physical overreaction to my condition. It was also the main reason I wouldn't go anywhere outside the apartment complex. "Keep moving; keep moving, relax, relax, relax, I am a girl, I am a girl, no resistance; allow it to flow through you!" I repeated to myself over and over as I circled around in the elevator, rocking it side to side. My constantly moving seemed only to be a short-term fix for my problem.

The elevator stopped at the fourth floor, picking up another passenger. I tried to smile and act normal, but the puddle of sweat beginning to pool on the floor in front of me had my attention. He glanced at me briefly with an uncommitted smile then turned and stood facing the doors for the rest of the ride down. My early seventies style tie-dyed t-shirt was drenched, and I started feeling like I might be making a very bad decision. I thought to myself, "I don't have to go anywhere, I can order out for food, even clothes if I need to." "No!" I said to myself, annoyed at the thought, "That just isn't going to happen this time, I have to get out!" I said it under my breath, but I could tell that the passenger heard me. He was shifting his weight from one leg to the other, but he ignored me, probably writing me off as nuts or just another Southern California fruitcake.

The elevator doors opened and I bolted past my fellow elevator passenger, drawing a surprised look as I flew by him. I made my way to the Range Rover before I could change my mind about going out beyond the confines of the apartment complex.

The Rover was covered with a dusty car cover as the last time I drove it was six weeks ago. I grabbed one of the corners of the elastic edge and with a snap of my wrist and arm it was off, sending a dust cloud into the air that was illuminated by the flickering florescent lights of the cement underground garage.

I rolled the car cover up and threw it in the back seat as I jumped in and slammed the door behind me. I sighed with relief as the engine started. I wasn't sure it would turn over after such a long time. I reached over and flipped the A/C switch to high, and pointing all the vents towards me. It was like heaven as the cool air hit my sweaty overheated face.

Just before I put it in gear to back up, I was hit with another mild spasm from my abdomen, an overwhelmingly warm feeling of contentment and security washing over me. It wasn't as intense as the one that I had experienced earlier this morning, and it was different in other ways this time. The most noticeable difference was a mild shock of electricity originating from my abdomen resonating up to my scalp, then all the way down to my toes with a prolonged tingling at the very tip of my penis. It made me jump! It lasted about 10 seconds then I felt an orgasm building, but it suddenly stopped. I had so little control of this thing that I was experiencing. I liked it, even craved it, although it had disrupted everything in my life. Just in the middle of that thought, a silence abruptly entered my consciousness. It was a deafening internal silence.

There had always been some sort of resonating noise or background sensation of an impending attack, but it had vanished. All signs of the intense spasms I had been experiencing for months were completely gone for some reason. I felt apprehensive yet almost normal. It was a very liberating feeling, so familiar for the first forty years of my life. Life before what I called the "Chronic Orgasm Syndrome" or C.O.S. began ruling it. After sitting for a few minutes and feeling for any sign of the spasms returning, I put the car in reverse and headed toward the mall convincing myself everything would go just fine.

Downtown traffic was very light on this typically beautiful Southern California Saturday. The drive to the mall was uneventful; I got there in record time. I pulled into the parking lot and drove straight for the spots closest to the main entrance. Just as I started the routine cruise in search of a closer parking space, a car backed out of a space right in the front row. I pulled into it thinking to myself this was a good sign. I'm going to get in and out. If all goes well, maybe a trip to the beach would be in order (though I was not really convinced that all was well).

I walked into the three-story mall and headed up to the third story knowing right where I wanted to go. Pants were first on the agenda. Half way up the third story escalator, I felt a sudden surge of energy ignite throughout my body. The heavy sweating started again, just like what had happened in the elevator, but this time it was back with a vengeance! I felt a warm tingling feeling that was building rapidly, which then turned into a massive wave of exploding ecstasy from my lower abdomen that almost buckled my legs.

As the escalator deposited me on the third floor, I barely managed to make it to a cement planter thirty feet away. It held a large imitation palm tree, and was located next to a self-service shoe store. After three or so spasms rocked my body, I managed to pull myself up and sit on the edge of the planter, getting my feet off the ground before I had a chance to fall, and eventually get hauled off to the hospital. It seemed to me that it would be better to pass out on top of a planter, than onto the floor.

Another wave of pure pleasure hit me like the one in the garage. There was an electrical pulse, the newest addition to my repertoire of intense sexual sensations. "Was 'it' going to happen now?" I asked myself. Another set of electrical jolts hit, one right after the other pinning me to the planter like a force field. In my ecstasy, I still managed to notice how people were just walking by as if I wasn't even there, people less than four feet away. "What was this?" I wondered, just as I was hit with a brief shock and abdominal spasm, as if to punish me for that particular thought.

There I was at the Mission Mall in San Diego; arguably the most crowded public place in the entire city on any given weekend, with nowhere to go before another wave hit. I knew my time was limited and I wasn't going to be able to make it back to the car or walk much further. There were people everywhere, going on about their business and I was right in the middle of it. I needed privacy now, any place where I could lie down and cum for a while. The thought made me grin.

Soaked in sweat and looking for a place I could retreat to, somewhere preferably out of sight, I spotted a bench about a hundred feet away that was behind a grouping of plants beside a small fountain. It could offer me some cover and water if I needed it. The surges were crippling. I was thirsty, and I wasn't sure I could make it. I waited for any break in the constant sea of overwhelming sexual sensations, focusing on my destination. Suddenly, just for a moment, there was a slight pause. Jumping off the planter using the base as a starting block, I burst out at a full sprint.

I made it about half way before I was slammed again making me veer off course. I managed to stay on my feet, wobbling the rest of the way, and almost running into several people. I fell to the bench, and took hold of it. My knuckles were white as I clutched at the padded cement seat. It felt like it was my only lifeline to something tangible.

Looking up, sweat dripping profusely from my face, I realized I was in the heart of the third floor promenade with dozens of people all around me. This was the last place that I wanted to be! The plants only gave me partial cover, but there was a water fountain I hadn't seen earlier. Either way, with the way things were going, this half-ass hideout would have to do. I tried to catch my breath, hoping to make it back to the car or at the very least into a bathroom, but I was simply too weak to move from my new public sanctuary behind a plant display.

Wave after wave of sexual energy was coursing through me, overtaking me, like a strong alternating electrical current with exponential increases in intensity amid each new wave. I could feel physical changes happening all over and inside my body like miniature explosions and shifts at the cellular level as they were spreading throughout every centimeter of my body. It felt like my organs and circulatory system was relocating, followed with concentrated bursts of ecstasy.

During the brief pauses in this current onslaught of orgasms and dilated pupils, I kept thinking of how much I had wanted this all my life. That is, if what I thought was happening, really was happening. Thoughts that had been repeated all my life began to stream in.

"There is so much more to being female in the way that I was experiencing it. A spiritual side that had never been seen, or rarely if ever even conceived of. So overlooked by most girls and by the self-absorbed, sex crazed, pea brain morons, who have on their minds little more than images of wild sex with girls that they could never have. The opportunity to bare children, to experience all that there is about being female. Hell, most females are identical to their male pea-brain counterparts when it comes to having the slightest clue what it's like to be male, so they deserve each other."

I managed to get to the water fountain and started drinking non-stop for several minutes. The stale chlorine tasting water was a welcome sensation; I was dehydrated to the point of feeling dizzy on top of everything else. The water slowed the internal dialogue to a slow roll, making it easier to think of nothing. But they continued. They were so rehearsed that I felt like an actor playing his first major roll.

"To know what it was like to experience intrinsic female distinctiveness from a purely male perspective, it requires a "depthmensional" level of understanding that no female I have ever met could even comprehend, much less experience. They take their gift for granted, and then bury themselves in the limitations of it. They were limitations that only existed in their own sloppy mind." These familiar thoughts kept echoing through my mind. I could have had orgasms just thinking about it. In fact, I was having orgasms thinking about it. They were causing this whole thing!

"I chose to be born a male with the full intent of changing into a female. It's the stuff of science fiction made real or finally a decent XXX plot!" I laughed out loud at the thought.

A powerful electrical wave hit me. I felt my bone structure shift all over my body. It felt like a wave of little pinpricks from head to toe followed by sensations of bone stress. Then a series of pops, followed by another disabling wave of pure warm ecstasy knocked me back down to the bench. It was all that I could do not to vocalize the sheer pain then the intense pleasure being exerted on me simultaneously.

Another double wave hit. My jawbone popped and my skull shifted with several other muffled pops and snaps. It didn't hurt as much this time, but it felt very strange, like my face was being distorted, as if being molded by some sort of focused magnetic force. It felt much like the feeling of two very strong magnets when forcing identical ends together. I could feel my teeth moving. My hair felt like it was on fire. My whole body felt as malleable as hot clay.

I wanted so much to get up and get somewhere private, but I couldn't. Just as I would start to get up, another orgasmic wave of pure ecstasy or a new electrical punishment, more powerful than the last would strike me, planting me right back down on the bench. I couldn't move and the last wave convinced me that I had no choice but to endure it right here behind a fucking planter on a cement bench.

Another huge wave of ecstasy and what felt like some sort of weird foreign energy slammed into my body, like a brief shock. Then a spatial shift of some sort occurred, like I was here, yet somewhere else at the same time. As I looked out from behind the planter in front of me, I saw a very strange sight, the number of people doubled then tripled some even on top of themselves, as if I were viewing them in multiple dimensions at once, each person just slightly different than the other. I saw different versions of expression, and/or slightly different positions in space, or even different colored clothes. Sometimes kids would be there, but other versions would not have them.

I felt a thud as my hips and pelvic bones shifted, followed by a loud pop, and my attention was slammed back into my reality. I felt something inside me slipping in an upward and outward direction followed by several internal thumps. There was a flash of intense pain, followed again by pure sexual joy in perfect balance. It was exhausting.

I could feel changes deep inside me, along with very stiff inward pulls on my penis and testicles. It felt like they were being split apart vertically and diagonally simultaneously. I could feel something that felt like the skin ripping along the full length of my penis, starting six or more inches inside of me. It was on a predetermined path, but unfortunately, it was like poorly manufactured perforated paper. The pain was incomprehensible, residing momentarily just outside of my maximum limit. Then it was instantly receding to the opposite end of the spectrum, turning into a pleasure cycle just as intense, but twice as long in duration.

The knowledge that I was changing and totally allowing this to happen with no resistance kept sending solid waves of pleasure pouring through me like a flood of warm electrified water, reaffirming that my intense desire was real and coming true in this very moment. I could feel the soft tissue of my lips, ears and penis being absorbed and/or re-formed, pulled, then folded or tucked. There was a distinct smell of jasmine, but it was mixed with what smelled like ozone and cinnamon.

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