The Chief Pt. 03

Michael drove me into a part of the city on the edge of downtown that I had never visited before. There were lots of small shops, restaurants, and other businesses, mostly housed in older buildings. Some of the structures were a little run down, but the neighborhood was plenty lively. I saw lots of people out on the streets doing their errands and morning shopping. It looked like a charming place and I made a mental note that I wanted to explore it one of these days, but I was intimidated by one thing: I was going to be the only white guy in sight.

We got out of the car and strolled a block of so toward Michael's sister's place. Sure enough, I noticed a few curious looks from passersby, and I found myself walking closer to Michael. Just for a moment, he slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer. Normally, I would have been embarrassed at such a gesture of affection, of ownership, from another man, but in this neighborhood, and after what I had done last night, it made me feel...protected.

We walked up to "Shirl's House of Style." Michael opened the door for me and we stepped inside.

"PUDDIN'!"

"Hey, Sis!" (Puddin'???)

"Is this the one you told me about?"

"Yeah." I felt like a bug under a magnifying glass as this tall, attractive woman looked me over with an appraising eye. No "hello," no pleasantries... She just looked me up and down, spending a lot of time looking at my face.

"Turn, around, hon." I turned around and I could feel her eyes looking me over. Shirl produced a measuring tape and started measuring EVERYTHING. My waist, chest, height, arm length, neck, shoulders, writing everything down. Then she had me take off my shoes and sit in a chair and had me put my feet in one of those shoe measuring devices. As I watched her measure my feet, I was about to say that she had it turned the wrong way until I realized that she was measuring my Women's shoe size, not the size I had always used...

"She's got real potential, Puddin'. Nice and slender, pretty face... sweet little ghetto bootie. Turn back around for me, Sweetie." I turned around and she wore a big smile. "Come on back in the back and we'll talk."

We went into Shirl's office and she got coffee for both of us, then told Michael to make himself scarce. He did so promptly. (Michael might be "The Chief" outside these walls, but it was clear that he was just "Puddin'" in Shirl's domain. He took her orders without complaint.)

"That Puddin..." He's my baby brother and I love him like the world. I'm real proud of him, too. Is he treating you right?" (I wasn't sure if he was "treating me right," but so far, I was enjoying all the WRONG things he was doing to me.) i just nodded.

"So you're his new girlfriend, huh?" she asked with a smile. "I can see why. We can make you look real pretty, but you listen to ol' Shirl: it's not just looks that make a lady. You're gonna have to change the way you carry yourself, the way you talk... pretty much your whole way you present yourself to the world. You think you can do that?"

Shirl had Michael's air of authority and at the same time, his friendly, accepting nature. I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but at the same time, I figured I might never have another opportunity to have a teacher like this. And I couldn't help wondering just how pretty she might make me...

"I'm ready," I admitted.

"Okay, then. You live alone, right? No pets or anything?"

"No."

"Then you're going to be spending the next week with me. I'll need to..."

"But I have to go to work!"

"Calm down, sweetie, you can go to work, but you'll be spending the rest of your time with me for at least a week. You've got lessons and lots of practice. Come next week, you'll leave for work from my house and come right back after work."

"But why?"

"Because, missy, except for when you're at work, you're going to be a little caterpillar, working hard to turn into a pretty butterfly. You'll learn to walk, talk, eat, sleep, and act just like a girl. You STILL want to do this?"

"Yes, ma'am..."

"Good! You're learning already!" So tell me... have you ever dressed up like a girl before?" For the second time in as many days, I found myself admitting my deepest, darkest secret to a near stranger. It was a little easier this time, and not just because Shirl had Michael's accepting, easygoing manner. I realized it was because she was a woman. As I talked about trying on lingerie and experimenting with makeup, it almost seemed like I was talking to a sister. A BIG sister no doubt, and one whose directions I would have to follow, but a sister who understood even better than I did what I wanted.

After an hour or so of conversation, Shirl took me to a chair at the back of the shop and told me to take off my shoes. She had me put my feet into a dish of warm scented water. After that, she had me soak my fingers in little bowls of the same water. After a few minutes of soaking, she set the chair into a reclining position and leaned over me, peering intently at my eyes. I felt a sharp sting above my eyes as I realized she was tweezing my eyebrows. I thought about protesting, but with Shirl leaning over me, I thought better of it. The stings continued as I felt someone working on my toes. I was getting my first pedicure! And in front of all the other customers! I was embarrassed and wanted to tell Shirl to stop, but I was afraid to. After all, I had already told her that I would follow her directions. I couldn't see my toes because Shirl kept tweezing my brows, but I felt the nail tech working my cuticles, then felt her apply some cool liquid to my toenails. I wondered what the other customers would think. I was already a curiosity, being the only white customer, but on top of that, I was a boy! I imagined I could hear some amused clucks and comments from the other customers, like, "...a little sissy..." and "...her brother's new little panty boy..." and "...probably better off being a girl, he looks like he's more suited to being a pretty little wife..." I sat there in humiliation, realizing that these women were watching me, a boy, get a feminine beauty treatment! After about twenty minutes, Shirl stood back up and examined my face.

"That's about right. You've got a nice, thin arch now." Then she started filing my fingernails. I was finally able to get a glimpse of my toes and was startled to see that they were bright red. There were knowing, amused smiles from the other women.

"Don't flinch, hon, that's just the first coat. We'll be here awhile."

"But what about work?"

"You gonna be going to work barefoot? No one's gonna see your pretty toes."

"But my fingernails..."

"Calm down. I'm just giving them a little shape and applying a clear coat to keep them healthy until next week. You'll get a full makeover next Friday night, just in time for your date with Puddin'." (That comment elicited some chuckles from the women.) I was just getting over the shock of seeing my feet look so dainty and feminine when I caught a look at my face. It was still me, but my eyebrows were... different. They hadn't ever really been bushy or thick, but now I had thin, graceful arches that made my eyes look much larger. I wondered if the guys at work would notice...

"Give me your hand, hon." Shirl began applying a clear coat of polish to my fingernails. They didn't look exactly wrong, but they had been filed into little crescents, not the thin, rounded tips I had always had. They weren't a high fashion woman's hands, but at the same time, they weren't very manly, either.

Shirl once again reclined the chair and washed and rinsed my hair. She spent a few minutes combing my wet hair, experimenting with different styles, and after deciding on what she wanted, set about trimming the ends. "Evening them up," she called it, then combing so that it fell down over my eyes a little. The scissors came out again she trimmed the ends that were over my eyes. A little more combing, a little more snip snip of the scissors, then Shirl applied some sort of conditioner to my hair and began to blow dry. A very light spritz a hair spray and she was done.

"That's a good start on your hair. We'll give your toes a few minutes to dry, then we'll go by the store to get you some new clothes. Look through here in the meantime and see if you see anything you like." She handed me a copy of "Marie Claire" magazine. I had looked through women's magazines before, but always surreptitiously, afraid of someone noticing and thinking I was some sort of sissy. Now, everyone in Shirl's salon knew. It was embarrassing, but on the other hand, the earth didn't open up and swallow me, either.

One of the customers, a sweet-looking older lady, came up to me and said, "You pay attention to what Shirl tells you, sweetheart. She'll teach you everything you need to know about being a pretty girl." I guess there wasn't any question in anyone's mind now. My toenails were perfectly shaped and painted a glossy bright red. My eyebrows were thin arches, and I was browsing through a fashion magazine looking at pictures of dresses I might want to wear. I was being "made up" to look pretty and sexually attractive to other males, much to everyone's amused acceptance.

Despite my embarrassment, a guilty little thrill ran through me as I looked at the pretty clothes, shoes, and jewelry in the magazine. I read the descriptions and began learning about wrap dresses, A-lines, sheaths, and things like peplum waists, sweetheart necklines... Clearly, I had a lot to learn! And the shoes! I was about 5' 8", and I wondered how high a heel I could wear. I saw a pair of peep toe slingback pumps with a little satin bow decoration, and wondered how my red toes would look in them. Maybe with that cute 3/4 sleeve wrap dress back on... what page did I see it on? And with THAT little clutch purse! But I'd need a necklace and some kind of jewelry... POP!

I was startled out of my reverie by the feeling of something on my ear lobe, only to realize that Shirl had pierced one of my ears! And she was coming around to the other side!

"Shirl, wait! I don't think..."

"Now, now, sweetheart, you said you'd do what I said, right?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Don't you worry about it. Next Monday, I'll give you some little clear keepers that you can barely see." There were guys at work that wore earrings, some even wore them in both ears. (On the other hand, they were generally biker types that also had full beards and who weighed around 250!) Before I had time to object, there was another pop! and I had two pierced ears.

"We'll keep those in for a week. I'll give you some hydrogen peroxide to keep them clean. By next week, you should be able wear almost anything as long as it's not too heavy. We'll need to get you a few pairs at the store." Shirl turned the chair around so that I could get a look at my new hair. "What do you think?

Wow! Shirl really hadn't changed that much, but my hair looked...different. She hadn't ADDED any length, obviously, but somehow it looked longer and fuller. I had bangs now, and the sides had been shaped to fall in such a way as to frame my face. It was still a man's hairstyle, sort of. I guess "unisex" would be a better word, but with two gold studs in my ears, I didn't look very masculine. Even without makeup, it was easy to see a girl with full lips, high cheekbones, long eyelashes, and a cute little pixie cut looking back at me in the mirror.

"You like your hair? I'll show you how to brush it when you go to work so it won't look quite so pretty. You'll still need a wig to go out on the town, but in a few months, we should be able to style it either as a boy's or a girl's cut." Shirl showed me one of her hair style magazines and pointed to the style she had in mind for me, all to the ongoing amusement of the other ladies.

"This is called a 'shag,'" she said. The shorter lengths work for boys or girls, but the longer it gets, the more feminine it will be. Your hair takes a set really well, so if you want, you could have any of these styles." I looked at some of the longer versions. They were unambiguously feminine. I wondered what it would feel like to have hair that long, tickling my neck and shoulders whenever the breeze blew, like a constant reminder of the loss of my masculinity. Of course, if I had hair like that, I couldn't even pretend to be a male, not even part time. With hair like that, I would need to present myself to the world as female full-time, living like a woman 24/7. My heart raced, wondering if it was possible for me to make a change that drastic. Shirl interrupted my thoughts.

"Time's a-wasting, girl. We need to get you to the store!"

"Now?"

"No time like the present. Here, put these on." She handed me a pair of brightly colored flip flop sandals.

"But, Shirl, my toes! I can't wear these! People will see..."

"You still worried about what people are gonna think? You SAID you were ready to do this! Are you ready or not? If not, I can take off all that polish and take off your pretty new earrings and give you a crew cut and you'll be just as butch as you want to be! But if we do that, I don't want you coming back around here wasting my time any more!"

I realized that every eye in the shop was on Shirl and me. It was like they could all read me like a book. They could all see not just my guilty desire to be feminine, but my frightened resistance to giving up my manhood. I felt embarrassed, angry tears coming to my eyes, but as I blinked to clear my vision, I saw sympathetic smiles on the ladies around me. The lady that had spoken to me earlier put her hand on my shoulder.

"You know, sweetie, you're not the only boy to feel this way. Some men just aren't cut out to be rough, nasty old men. My nephew is a sweet little sissy. He started wearing pretty things when he was a boy. He never really had what it takes to please a woman, and his mama was smart enough to help him to BE one instead. Nowadays, you'd never know that he was born a boy. Pretty little thing... She's married to a nice man and she takes good care of him." This last comment prompted a few clucks and knowing looks from the women.

I was embarrassed all over again, wondering if I really was inadequate. If I was cut out only to be a simpering little sissy, condemned to a fate of finding a man and being protected by him, being subservient to him, dressing up and making myself up to be pretty for him, learning to keep him happy by giving up my body for his pleasure... I didn't know! It was against everything I had ever been taught, but I wanted to find out. Shirl seemed to know how I felt already.

"Be careful putting your sandals on, hon. We need to give your nails plenty of time to dry."

I slipped my pretty red toes into the feminine sandals, and with my new hairstyle and gold earrings, walked past all the ladies in the shop, then outside as I followed Shirl to her car.

On the way to the store, I asked Shirl where Michael was.

"Don't worry about Puddin', he left me in charge. You'll see him next Friday once we have you ready. You need to concentrate on your lessons."

"Lessons?"

"We're going to spend the day getting you a new wardrobe. Puddin's picking up the tab for that, by the way. After that, we'll go home and check out how your new clothes fit, and then your lessons begin. From now on, when you're with me, I want you to act and think like a girl. Take right now: girls don't sit in a car with their legs splayed out like you've got 'em. Hold your knees together like a young lady." I did as instructed.

"That's better. You've spent your whole life feeling all guilty when you feel like acting ladylike. We going to practice so much that you'll forget about feeling guilty because being a lady will start to be second nature to you. We can do that in a week, but it's going to be a lot of work. Hold your hands in your lap." She was gentle in her directions to me, but they WERE directions and I did as I was told. Once we got to the store and got out of the car, she had me practice walking. It felt funny! I couldn't get it right, no matter how hard I tried. Something about carrying my hips side to side instead of my shoulders. I was trying to undo a lifetime of habit.

"Don't worry, hon, Shirl's gonna get you there. Here, let's go in and get you some new clothes." We walked into a large, upscale women's boutique. There were only a couple of other shoppers, and it was obvious that Shirl knew the owner.

"Hey, Claire! I've got a project for you."

"Hey, Shirl! Michael told me you were coming. Is this the soon-to-be Joanne?" (Did EVERYBODY know about this????)

"Yep. Pretty good raw material, huh?"

"Hi, honey, I'm Claire." She extended her hand and I returned the gesture, only to be corrected by Shirl.

"Palms down, like a lady, not like some lumberjack." I was embarrassed at the error, and presented my hand palm down. The funny thing is, now I was embarrassed at trying to shake hands like a GUY and having to be told to behave "correctly," like a girl.

"Pretty nails! Oh! And Shirl, her toes are lovely! Strangely, things had turned topsy turvy and being referred to as "her" barely caught my notice, as if it were now appropriate.

"Of course. We did the preliminaries at the shop. Now we need to get this young lady some clothes. She's going to be about a Misses' size 12, shoe size 10 1/2. Could you pull some mid-heel pumps while we look for dresses?"

"How fun! Y'all browse around. We've got some Spring arrivals over here that I'll bet you'll love." Claire went to the back room while Shirl and I looked at dresses. There were so many! I had been in dress shops with my Mom and sisters before, and I had admired the pretty clothes and secretly wanted some of my own, but now I was choosing some for myself! My fear and guilt were once again overwhelmed by excitement at seeing all the colors, soft fabrics, and pretty ruffles. I was actually going to WEAR some of these heavenly dresses! I was drawn to the wrap dresses first, and Shirl approved. She held up several styles to me. If the other shoppers noticed they didn't make any sign, and after the scene at Shirl's salon, I didn't know if I even cared. As we looked at different styles, Shirl asked my opinions and gave me plenty of her own, and eventually we decided on three dresses: a lovely basic black like the wrap dress I had seen in the magazine, a very girlish yellow polka-dot sun dress with eyelet lace at the hem, and a more casual A-line in a floral print. All of them fell to just above the knee. (Shirl's influence must have already been working on me: I stayed away from clothes that looked too "trampy," opting instead for clothes that looked more classically, naturally feminine.)

Shirl also picked out a couple of skirts (one mini - hooray!) and assorted tops and blouses. She even pulled out a cute little pair of shorts, which confused me.

"Shirl, why are we getting shorts? Aren't they kind of unisex?"

"Sure, but you've got to wear something home. Except for your sandals, everything you're wearing is going into the dumpster out back of this store." My heart stuck in my throat as I pictured walking out of the store... in front of the other shoppers! dressed in girl's clothes. But I had gone this far, and I trusted Shirl. I took a deep breath.

"Okay." After that, it was accessories: belts, earrings, a couple of simple gold necklaces, one of which Shirl insisted that I keep on. We placed all the clothes on a rack near the register, then Shirl left me with Claire in the shoe department and disappeared into another part of the store.

"Let's try these beige pumps first, Jo- Do you mid if I call you Joanne?"

"No, Claire. I kind of like it."

"That's a girl! You're going to do great. Have a seat and let's try these on." I took off the sandals and Claire handed my a pair of those little nylon peds. My bright red toenails showed through the sheer nylon, and I realized that my feet looked just like I remembered my Mom's and sisters' looking when they got dressed up and wore hose. But that was nothing as I slipped my nyloned feet into my first high heeled shoes.