The Circus

"I think I'm falling apart too."

They held each other close, Tiffany humming a song that Tom knew but couldn't think where from. The realisation that it was a song his mother often sung made Tom cry more. "I need to apologise to Caleb," he eventually croaked.

"Yeah, you do," Tiffany stroked his hair.

"You would take his side," Tom cracked a weak smile, "you like him." There was a long pause and Tom felt Tiffany sigh in his arms, "I love him Tom," she eventually said. They broke apart then, love him? Since when? "Oh," was what came out of Tom's mouth.

"Yeah," Tiffany avoided his eyes, "and he loves me too."

"What?" Tom reeled back, "what do you mean?"

"We've been," Tiffany hesitated, "seeing each other," she finally mumbled.

"Since when?" Tom's last big conversation with Tiffany had been only a matter of days ago.

"Two and a bit years?" Tiffanny offered, seeing Tom's face she added, "on and off."

"Two and a bit years?" Tom hissed back, aware that the others were still asleep, "and when were you going to mention this?"

"I don't know Tom," Tiff sighed, "you always went on and on about professional boundaries, there was never the right time. Then you started noticing and I had to lie and say that I had a thing for him," she hissed back. Tom's mind was whirring,

"B-but you've been having sex!" he whispered fiercely, "with other people!"

"Yes," Tiffany conceded, "we agreed work was work, we had a fight a few months back but we're both serious now. That's why we decided to stop doing to meet and greets and now, well, it looks like we'll be starting afresh I guess." Tom thought for a moment, a few months back would've been when Caleb hit on him in the shower, I was a fucking rebound, it occurred to him that Caleb had been very well behaved since. "I can't believe you both lied to me like that," he frowned.

"Come on Tom, if you'd met Ambrose away from The Circus, would you have told all of us?" Tom had to give her that, it their line of work personal relationships just didn't happen. He pulled Tiffany back in for a bone crushing hug, "well I guess now I definitely have to apologise."

Fortunately, the wonderfully laid back Caleb was a good as ever, enfolding Tom in a hug before he was even halfway through his apology. He hung out with Caleb and Tiffany for the rest of the day, still struggling to see them as a couple but glowing with the happiness he felt for the pair of them. I've been duped huh? The very sudden closing of The Circus was painful and messy. Fortunately, the lease was already receiving interest for a number of parties, as was the house, which Tom had put up for sale already. The staff were miffed but Tom paid them out for the rest of the season, writing glowing references for every one of them. Bertie was upset but had agreed to house share with Tiffany and Caleb until he found some work. There would be a little money for Tom to live off of in the mean while but more urgently there was the matter of finding some work. Christmas was just over three months away so he was hoping a few retail roles would open up for the season, with three years of successful business ownership under his belt he was hoping to get some kind of management role.

He didn't need to hope, because as Tom, Caleb and Tiffany cued for their coffees that day, a familiar face approached them. "Mr. Smith?" Tom asked, astonished to see Tiffany's most regular customer, a man in his twenties with stylish glasses and a hipster beard. He smiled at the group before shaking their hands.

"It's Archie Webster actually," he chuckled, his rather generic face coming to life.

"I'm really glad you could come," Tiffany smiled, ushering the four of them to a table, "Tom, you know Archie here, well, he runs a stage school about an hour out of London." Tom looked back and forth between his best friend and his new friend, "he told me about it one time and when I mentioned leaving The Circus a couple of weeks ago, he said there were a few jobs coming up."

"That's right," Archie took over, pushing his glasses up his nose, "two of our teachers are pregnant and I know at least one of them doesn't plan on returning to work so, I need a dance teacher and a singing teacher. It's a lot of work though, we have a full time stage school and we run a charity to help troubled teens through musical theatre, not to mention there's productions twice a year and every two years we-,"

"I'll do it," the words left Tom's mouth before he could even think. Both Tiffany and Archie grinned with triumph, "really?" Archie looked excited, "because I've seen the standard you can set Thomas, I may not be making quite the same kind of shows but i'll be expecting the best," he grinned, his eyes alight.

"Yes," Tom sounded, and felt certain, "I won't let you down." Tiffany shrieked, ignoring the stares they got, hugging Tom,

"We're still going to be working together," she was shaking him by the shoulders with excitement.

"What about you Caleb? Where are you going to work?" Tom turned to the gorgeous man, who's eyes were training lovingly on Tiffany. How did I not notice that before?

"I'm just going to go back to what I did before all this," he replied.

"What, being an escort?" Tom couldn't believe that.

"No idiot, what I'm trained to do."

"Oh? What's that?" Tom asked. Caleb leaned in, the smuggest look on his face,

"You're talking to Detective Constable Jones now Tom," he winked.

Fuck.

Chapter twenty two

Thomas wasn't sure what made him do it, maybe it was that they'd started ripping apart The Circus, readying it for the next vendors, maybe it was the overwhelming interest the house had received from prospective buyers. Possibly it was the contract he'd just signed with Archie Webster, to start working for him in a month's time, but something had made Tom walk to Bo's studio late that Wednesday night, over two weeks since their last encounter. He stood silently, his breath coming out in smoky puffs, the streetlight flickering above him. It was gone ten, an unreasonable time to be barging in on the lover he had basically ignored for so long. But so much has changed. Indeed, it was true, everything had changed, more than Tom ever thought could change in such a short period of time. He was still in shock, he had accepted the loss of The Circus without even really computing what it all meant, his life's work down the pan. It hurt, but not as badly as it could have, other things seemed more important now, hence he was standing outside Bo's door. He considered knocking, but didn't want to disturb any of the other houses nearby, so pulled out his phone instead.

You: I'm downstairs.

What do you expect from that? Tom didn't know, what strange self esteem boost did he need by seeing if his man came to him or not? Why bother willingly laying himself open to rejection in such a way? And it did feel like rejection, for ten minutes he stood outside the silent building, no movement from anywhere on the empty street. He was about to leave when he heard it, the quiet tapping sound of feet on metal steps and the low creaking of a door opening.

Bo was so beautiful, he always had been, but Tom had forgotten just how long his eyelashes were, how his slightly overfilled lips sat almost in a pout, that warm curly hair that settled in and above his eyes, his sharp jaw, which was now clenched, in what emotion, Tom didn't know. In comparison, Tom felt rough, his hair messy, his body a little on the thin side, having lost weight with stress and having not had time or motivation to indulge in his sweet binges. They stood in silence for a moment, taking each other in. "Come in," Bo said eventually, that rich voice filling Tom like warm melted chocolate. Tom followed Bo up the stairs he had gone up so many times before, so many times with nerves like now, his heart thudding in the exact same way. The studio was in darkness, the only light coming from the doorway to Bo's tiny apartment, which he took Tom to. They sat next to each other on the bed, it felt too close, but the only other option was the dining table and that felt too far. "Tommy," Bo broke the silence, whispering that wonderful name he had given Tom, "I'm so sorry Tommy, what I did to you..." he drifted off and they were swallowed up by silence again. At last, Tom spoke,

"I didn't hate it," he said softly, Bo startled. "Maybe I'm not normal? But I didn't hate it, I don't think I could hate anything you do to me," Tom wrung his hands on his lap.

"Oh Tommy, you are normal, I'm the one who's a mess," Bo's head was in his hands, "to have treated you like that...I hope one day you can forgive me."

"I do forgive you," Tom stated, it was true, the only thing he felt towards Bo was love, love and trepidation.

"Tommy I-,"

"No Bo," Tom twirled on the bed, looking Bo in the eye, "if I had told you to stop, screamed that I didn't want it, would you have?"

"What? Of course," Bo flustered.

"Exactly, I fucking encouraged you Bo. I'm not saying you're blameless because you're not, but I'm not saying I'm blameless either. I was scared yes," Bo flinched, "but I am a man Bo and I could have done something about it had I really wanted to," he finished. Bo went to talk but Tom interrupted him again, feeling strangely confident in their interaction, "who was that man?" he sounded more accusatory than he meant to, "if he was a friend that's fine. But if you were with him, you should know that you were committing adultery," he realised tears were dripping down his cheeks, "because you're with me!" he sniffed, "you're mine and I'm yours!" Bo had him in a hug before Tom could think, crushing them together, Bo's face in Tom's neck, tears wetting it. "I'm yours Tommy, I'm yours, I'm yours," he whispered it over and over again.

"I love you," Tom uttered throatily, making Bo pull back and kiss him fully on the mouth.

"Oh and I love you Tommy, so much," he kissed him again, tasting of salt, it was deep and loving, containing a world of feelings. "It was my ex, Rory" Bo said eventually "he flew in the other day from Berlin, where he lives with his now fiance. He came to invite me to the wedding, I was congratulating him. I told him about you and he kept bugging me about The Circus so I took him shopping in hopes of distracting him, that's where we saw you and Bertie," he pushed the words out quickly, panic in his eyes.

"Oh," Tom nodded, embarrassed, "well, umm... that's okay then." Bo's face lit up with one of those wonderful smiles, Tom's heart ached that it had been so long since he had seen it last. "Who'd have thought you'd be the possessive type," he grinned. As always, Bo easily dissipated the tension in the room and they fell down onto the bed together, laughing, tickling and kissing as they went. They ended up both circled on their sides, face to face, noses almost touching. "The Circus is closing," Tom said suddenly, destroying the lovely mood Bo had created.

"What?" Bo's brow furrowed, "what are you talking about?"

Tom told Bo everything, about Tiffany and Caleb, about the adoption for Charlie and Lena, about the letter from Seth and the money, everything. By the end they were both sat cross-legged on the bed, on their third cup of tea. "It was you wasn't it?" Bo said when Tom finished.

"Hmm?" Tom slurped his tea.

"I had a call from the American who commissioned my last exhibition," Bo raised an eyebrow from behind his mug of tea, "saying he had an offer on all seven of my portraits that he couldn't refuse."

"Ah, yeah," Tom flushed, "that may have been me. I didn't know what else to do with the money," he grinned, "it's only a little bit like money laundering." They laughed together, "besides," Tom continued, "now everything's coming to an end, I want them for the memories."

"Well," Bo hesitated, "I know this is probably way too fast, but seeing as you have this new job and everything. We could find somewhere, between us, to display those pictures?" At that, Tom tackled Bo on the bed, planting sloppy kisses all over his face like a puppy, "are you asking me to fucking live with you?" Tom sounded like an excited child.

"I suppose I am," Bo smirked, "I don't exactly need to be based in London and I sure Mikey could rent the space easily. What do you say?" Bo's confidence faltered a little towards the end.

"I say yes you fool!" It was so simple. Just like that, the mess that Tom's life had become over the last few weeks suddenly felt manageable, still painful, but manageable.

They rolled around on the bed, giggling and chatting like their fight had never happened. Soon, their delicate, playful pecks became long, languid kisses, tickling became groping, rolling became grinding. Tom ended up on top, straddling his lover, rolling their crotches together. "Oh god Bo," he shuddered at the sensations, it had been so long. Too long, way too long. Bo pulled Tom's head down for another deep kiss, their tongues stabbing into each other's mouths, his long rough fingers finding Tom's nipples through his shirt. Without even talking, they progressed, clothes were removed, lube and condoms found. Bo did as he often did, placing Tom beneath him before licking, nibbling and sucking every part of Tom's pale body like it was a buffet of delights. Tom writhed with pleasure, it had been too long since he had been touched by anyone, those rough hands skimmed over his body with ease. It was wonderful and frustrating with equal measure. Bo's bedroom manner was always a little surprising but they were both aware of it and Tom was definitely into it. This time, however, Bo's face remained angelic, his hands were light and gentle, it was pleasurable, but nothing like what they normally had together. Tom kept his mouth shut initially, enjoying Bo's minstations and vaguely aware that they shouldn't jump back into light sado-masochism after their last meeting, but the spark wasn't there, the rush didn't come. Tom heard Bo open the lube, his face still a painting of innocence, he poured a decent amount over Tom's cock and starting pumping it every so gently, "you okay?" he asked, when Tom flinched at the slightly-too-cool lube hitting his erection. Tom nodded, smiling, but gritting his teeth. Is this what it's going to be like from now on? Cause even for me this is vanilla, not to mention boring as fuck. Tom let his mind wander whilst Bo continued to treat him like he was made of glass, the tension in Bo's jaw the only sign that he was holding back. I get it, he's freaked I'll leave again, I'm sure he having some huge emotional battle right now, but if he doesn't hurry up, god help me. Tom huffed away on the bed for another full minute, it wasn't that Bo's handjob was bad, on another day he would've cum by now, but Tom's body was finely tuned to a special kind of sex now and Bo's sweet kisses weren't up to scratch. "Oh for god's sake," Tom eventually muttered, propping himself up on his elbows to look Bo in the eye, "is this is now then? You treat me like a fucking princess?" it sounded harsh, it was, Bo's face fell.

"Tommy," he sighed, "I know this is a little different from normal but I really think we can build a loving, sensual relationship without-,"

"Bullshit," Tom's flat voice cut across the room.

"Tommy," Bo gulped, "I just don't want a repeat-,"

"Bullshit," Tom annunciated every syllable as clearly as he could, he watched Bo's hands clench into fists, his control waning.

"Tommy, please love," Bo sat back on his heels, his voice was sad, but his eyes were full of challenge, a challenge directed at Tom, he was putting the decision in Tom's hands. Pulling himself up, Tom crawled as sensually as he could towards his lover, stopping with their lips only millimetres apart before trailing his fingers along the underside of Bo's still-hard cock. Watching Bo shiver at the touch, Tom ran his tongue over his lip, biting it into his mouth, all the while maintaining eye contact, seeing Bo's pupils dilate. Tom tilted his head to one side, letting his hair topple over his naked shoulder, "Bullshit," he breathed.

Chapter twenty three

Well, that seemed to flip the switch alright. Tom was back, flat on his back before he could even breath. Bo ravaged his body, wasting no time before taking Tom's entire cock in his mouth and working his throat in a way that had Tom near the edge within moments. "God! Fuck yes," Tom hissed out, so happy his man was back. He ravelled his fingers through Bo's curls, forcing his lover further onto his cock, thrusting up into Bo' throat before realising the man probably needed air. Pulling off Tom's cock, Bo sucked in air and Tom couldn't help but take him in, his hair was wild, his eyes watering a little where Tom had choked him by accident, his lower face was a mess of saliva and precum. Good god that's hot. Before Tom could speak, Bo dove back down, this time paying attention to Tom's balls, lavishing affection on them before finally lowering down to Tom's hole. There was a palpable moment between them where Tom could feel Bo's hot breath on that place, his whole body was tense, waiting for contact. Then Bo pulled away. "What?" Tom breathed out, his body slackening disappointment, Bo simply grinned, his arrogance fully back at work. He kept himself positioned over Tom's lower half, bringing one hand up to Tom's mouth. Bo put his finger in Tom's mouth, then another, playing with his tongue and stroking the roof. Tom groaned around the intruding fingers, semi-concerned that the top of his mouth appeared to be a major erogenous zone for him. He shuddered at the realisation, catching Bo's eye and seeing the smug grin that stretched across his face. "You like it here," Bo's long fingers found that spot again, making Tom moan, his saliva running down Bo's arm. "Whenever we kiss, I know you feel it here," Bo continued, attacking Tom with his rich voice, his other handing finding Tom's cock again. "When you suck my cock," Tom whimpered hearing Bo's upper-class voice say that word, "you always rub it on here," Bo's fingers were thrusting in and out of Tom's mouth now, in time with his hand on Tom's cock. Bo kept brushing that spot, over and over, not giving any reprieve, he continued speaking, "and when I'm fucking you and we kiss and I lick that spot," Bo leaned in, removing his fingers and giving Tom a long, messy kiss, doing exactly what he had just talked about, "you get so tight for me."

"Bo! Fuck!" was all Tom got out before he came. It was powerful and sloppy, coating Tom's chest and catching even his own chin, adding to the sweat and saliva. His first orgasm in weeks, it took Tom a while to recover, his eyes were still tightly closed when he heard the lube bottle being opened again, they flew open when he felt those same two fingers, now at a different entrance to his body. Bo was liberal with the lube, Tom's saliva also being added to the mix, he opened Tom quickly but thoroughly, paying a polite amount of attention to his prostate, which in Bo's world meant leaving Tom a quivering mess. "Hurry, hurry, hurry," Tom didn't even realise he'd been chanting that word under his breath the entire time Bo had been fingering him. He was on his back still, his hair fanned out on the bed, sheets in a tight grasp. Even Bo's attitude was wavering, his smirks making way for a more determined look, the look of a man who needed to fuck the closed available object. Bo knelt on the bed, unceremoniously yanking Tom towards him, opening Tom's legs and slightly putting him on his side, he then moved to settle between them, one leg on his shoulder, the other between his thighs. It made Tom feel very open and very vulnerable, it was also a position they hadn't tried before and one that definitely made it look like Bo would be able to go deep, very deep. Tom felt Bo's cock brush at his entrance, which was now relaxed and mushy, open for Bo's cock. "Put it in," Tom hissed after a moment had passed without Tom moving.