The Coffee Shop Pt. 04

"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted! I can take a hint!" She exclaimed indignantly. "Come on, Harold!" She flounced off in a huff with Harold at her heels. He looked over at me and silently mouthed the word "sorry" at me before he turned his head back and followed Wendy.

"Yeah, you can take a hint," I said quietly to Wendy's departing back. "But only if it is delivered with a sledge hammer."

"So what is the story with that lady?" asked an intently curious Andy, in a quite voice. From the way he said lady, you knew that is not what he thought Wendy was. "She's got all the sensitivity and tact of a rhinoceros, mixed with the curiosity of a cat."

"She's a royal pain in the ass, sometimes," I answered a bit more sharply than I intended. "She is one of the people who works in my office. She's a good worker, but she has some problems."

"No? Really?" Andy asked with faked surprised in his voice.

"I'll think about her on Tuesday morning," I said to Andy as I dismissed her from my mind. "Let me know when you're ready to go."

"Now would be fine with me," Andy replied. "The evening has ended, here at least."

"Okay," I agreed. I asked for the checks. It took only a few moments for us to pay for our meals, retrieve our overcoats and head out to the car. The trip back to my apartment was uneventful. I explained to Andy that Wendy Murchason was one of the people who worked in the same office as I did. She did not work in my department, but we saw each other during the day, usually in the lunch/break room. Wendy was one of those people who enjoyed talking about other people (preferably behind their backs) and gossiping. She liked to talk to people and find out about them, sometimes to the point of being nosy. I usually avoided opportunities to sit down and chat with her, because I did not want to be drawn into a conversation that would inevitably be directed towards me and what I liked to do during my spare time. Wendy also liked to share juicy tidbits of gossip with nearly anyone who would listen to her. She could never understand why I always excused myself and left when she started doing that. It was simple. I would not have enjoyed having other people gossip about me, so I avoided listening to other people when they would gossip.

We arrived at my apartment, at about 9:30 PM. I unlocked the door and ushered Andy inside. I smiled at him as I slipped off my overcoat. "How about you make me a nice up of tea, while I hang up your overcoat for you?" I asked him as I batted my eyes at him playfully.

"Sure. Sounds good," Andy replied as he handed over his overcoat to me and walked off to the kitchen, swaying his hips back and forth suggestively. He was such a tease. He knew how much I enjoyed looking at his butt, especially when he was wearing suit pants or his uniform pants. I am sure that I looked pretty stupid standing there holding two overcoats, with a big idiotic grin pasted on my face, as I watched Andy walk into the kitchen. Only when the closing of the kitchen door cut off the view of Andy's back, did I come back to my senses. I returned to the task of hanging up the overcoats. It took less than a minute. I closed the closet door and turned around facing the living room. As I headed off to the living room, I passed by the front hall table, and stopped suddenly. Before I could have any second thoughts, I opened the drawer and quickly picked up the two envelopes that were lying inside. I placed them in my left inside jacket pocket, closed the drawer and continued my trip to the living room. I sat down in the middle of the sofa. I decided to let Andy pick which side of me he wanted to sit next to.

As I sat there waiting for Andy to deliver the tea, I let the events of our past evenings play back in my mind. It was a wonderful way to pass the time. It helped me to focus on what it was that I loved about Andy. I remembered all the wonderful nights we had spent together in bed. We always spent our nights together in my apartment. The reason, which I discovered three weeks into our budding relationship, was that Andy was not living alone. He and a long time good buddy of his were renting a house together. It would have been rather difficult for me to spend a night at his house without raising suspicions. Andy did not want to risk his job, or his friendships on the force. So, spending the night at his place was not something that we could arrange, at least not right now. I assumed, then that Andy's buddy did not know that Andy was gay. Andy had never come right out and said that to me, but I concluded that it was the case. It seemed like a logical assumption to make.

I had met Andy's buddy, Charles Chatterly, a few times, when I'd spent an evening at Andy's house. Charles was also a member of the RCMP. In fact, Andy and Charles were troop-mates, that is they had gone through (survived) the RCMP training together. The RCMP training that cadets undergo is very intensive, and builds a strong camaraderie among those troop members who have completed the course and graduated as constables. Consequently, Andy and Charles were very close friends, and enjoying renting the house together.

Charles was a physically fit, average looking man. He was nearly six feet tall, with a sturdy but not muscular body. I had never seen Charles in uniform, nor 'out of uniform' either, if you get my drift. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, with a brown belt and a tan pullover knit shirt, Charles was nice to look at. He did not stand out in a crowd, nor was his appearance remarkable in any way. He was an average looking man, who happened to be Andy's roommate. He was slim and trim, with just a hint of hardness and steel about him. You could see it in the way that he carried himself. He moved with grace and self assurance, that showed he knew what he was doing, at all times.

Charles had dark brown straight hair that he kept trimmed very short., which was to be expected. He was an RCMP constable after all. His skin was clear and smooth, except for a small scar on his right cheek. The scar was about an inch long and ran from just above his jaw line straight up towards the top of his head, almost as if someone had drawn it there with a ruler. The scar actually added to Charles' appearance. It offset the plain and ordinary appearance of his face and added a touch of maturity and ruggedness to it. Charles' face was unremarkable overall, except for that scar. His face was set and squared, but looked as if the sharp edges had been filed down to make them softer and less chiseled. He had a small nose, that sat in the middle of that face, just above his average sized mouth with its slightly thin lips. His ears were small and unobtrusive as well. He pale blue eyes added to the softness and suggested someone who would not push back, if he were pushed around. Only his bushy dark brown eyebrows and bushy brown mustache broke up the overall gentle and somewhat mousy appears of his face. You would not think much of Charles if you were to ever meet him. You would probably not even give him a second thought, that is until he spoke to you.

Charles' voice belayed his appearance. It was strong, powerful, deep, authoritative and demanding. You could not ignore Charles' voice unless you were deaf. You could not help but pay attention to it. Charles voice was not sexy, but rather it captured your attention and did not let go of it. It was a very useful tool for a policeman. The first time he spoke to me, I was shocked. I found it hard to believe that such a small mouth could produce such wonderfully deep, rich, melodic and entrancing tones. I was curious to know if Charles ever sang, but I never worked up the nerve to ask him. I thought that if he could carry a tune, he could have been a singer. A very successful and sexy singer.

Without quite realizing it, my right hand moved to my inner left jacket pocket and stroked the envelopes resting there. This shattered my daydreaming, and snapped me back to reality and what I had decided to do tonight. I swallowed once nervously, and let go of my concerns. What happened, happened. I would do what I thought was right and live with the consequences. Andy walked into the room, carrying my cup of tea and a cold glass of orange juice for himself. Actually he entered the room, and the room lit up, but only because he turned on several lamps in the room before he sat down next to me. I smiled a silent 'welcome back' to him, while steeling myself inside for what I was about to do. I took the cup of tea from Andy. Slowly I raised the cup to my lips and sipped it while inhaling the fragrance aroma that drifted up from the surface of the dark brown liquid. The tea was wonderful, but too hot to drink right now. I placed the cup and saucer on the table next to me. I turned back to face Andy and noticed he had already placed his glass of orange juice on the table, a small distance away from him.

"Andy, I have something special for you," I said to him, as I reached in and drew out the envelopes from my inside left jacket pocket. "It's Valentine's day tomorrow, you know. Open the red envelope first, please." I asked him as I handed them over to him.

Andy looked at me in quiet surprise, and did as I asked. The red envelope contained a Valentine' Day card that I had created on the computer. On the outside was a bottle of champagne, with two glasses, with balloons and streamers all around them. The words "Let's Celebrate!" were printed above in bold black block letters. Andy looked at the outside of the card for about thirty seconds as if he were committing every detail to memory. Slowly he opened the card and read the message inside. He didn't cry, but he did blink a lot as he read the words that were written there in simple black ink on a plain pink background. The message flowed across both inside panels of the card.

"My Beloved Andy,

This is not a card with clever rhymes and funny lines. The words written here come from my heart and are meant only for yours. You have made my life whole. You have filled to overflowing, the dark deep canyon of emptiness in my heart. You have shown me just what it means to feel loved, and what it means to give love, totally and unconditionally. You are a wonderful and special man, who returns tenfold to me, all that I give you. I can never repay you for all that you have done to heal my soul and spirit. In the other envelope is a sign of just how much I do care for you. I only hope it is not too much, too soon. Yours tonight, and every night that we have together,

Paul."

Andy looked at me. He said not a word as he blinked at the tears welling up in his eyes. Finally he regained control of himself, lowered his head and slowly opened the other envelope that rested in his lap. He unfolded the paper that he plucked from the envelope. He looked up at me, and then looked down at the paper as he read it a second time.

"It's the result of a series of blood tests," Andy whispered at me in a soft voice that echoed with disbelief and awe. "It.it..it says that you're HIV negative, and that you don't have any other sexually transmitted diseases." Andy sat there staring at me with a stunned look on his face. I swallowed nervously as I waited for the information to sink in, and for him to really understand what it meant. Slowly, so slowly that a glacier moving down a mountain valley would have seemed like a high speed police car chase by comparison, Andy's expression shift from one of stunned shock to puzzlement. "What does it mean?" He asked me. "What exactly are you trying to tell me?"

"It means, Dear Heart," I answered. 'That I am clean and safe. When you are ready to let our relationship move on to something more physical, you need not have any worries about me. You told me on our first date that you would want proof that I was clean and safe, before you would ever consider any type of intimate relationship with me. Well, now you have the proof."

"But.but what I if I don't want to be physically intimate with you?" Andy asked numbly.

"Then we give it more time," I answered quietly. "I'm not asking you to make a choice now, tonight, or even anytime soon. I only wanted you to know that I loved you enough to prove to you that I am safe and clean. When you are ready, Dear Heart, so am I."

"Oh.." Andy replied with only a slight shake in his voice. "But why do you keep calling me 'Dear Heart'?"

"Because you are dear to my heart, and I wanted you to know that," I replied. "Think of it as my special name for you." I leaned over and softly kissed Andy on the cheek after speaking.

Andy took a deep breath and let it out in a long slow sigh, as he sat there looking at me. Slowly a smile broke out on his face, but he didn't say anything. I'm not sure exactly when or how my right hand had reached out and clasped Andy's left hand, but it did. The touch of our hands seemed to give Andy strength. He sat up a bit straighter and looked me dead in the eyes. I waited quietly. When he was ready, he'd talk. I was more than happy to wait. While I waited, I picked up my cup of tea with my free left hand, and took a long slow drink, savoring the taste and the warmth of the liquid as it coursed down my throat. It was soothing, and after what I had just done I needed some reassurance.

"IuhI have something special for you too, tonight," Andy said with a slight quiver in his voice. "I wasn't sure if I should even do this, but your gift to me has made this much easier." His eyes never left mine, as I saw his right shoulder move slightly. He unlaced his left hand from my right hand. Puzzled, I looked down to Andy's lap, curious as to what his gift to me might be. It couldn't have been a card, though, otherwise he would have pulled it from his jacket pocket, and neither of his hands had gone in that direction. When I saw what it was, my heart skipped a beat, and I vainly tried to swallow the huge lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat. I absently put the cup back on the saucer. I was so distracted by what I saw, though, that that I nearly missed the saucer altogether.

Nestled in Andy's upturned left hand was a box. A small, black box, with a hinged lid. A small black box, such as you find at a jewelry store. The box looked so small as it sat there in Andy's huge left hand. At the same time, though, the box was all that I could see. It eclipsed everything else in the room. Part of me wanted to reach over and open the lid to see what was inside. Another part of me feared what I would find, if I did open the box. I sat there paralyzed with indecision. I sat there and watched as Andy's right hand came into view and lifted up the lid of the box. Andy quickly moved his right hand away from the box, once he had raised the lid.

On a black velvet cloth there lay two plain gold wedding bands. Two men's wedding bands. They sparkled and shone, catching every beam of light in the room, and then reflecting it into my eyes. All I could do was to blink my eyes at the dazzle that seemed to come from the plain and simple wedding rings. The light from those bands overwhelmed my eyes. My mind seemed to have turned into slush. I didn't know what to say, or what to think. Eventually, I managed to swallow enough times to talk past the lump in my throat.

"What.what does this mean?" I managed to ask Andy, as I dragged my eyes away from those two gold bands and looked deep into Andy's soft warm doe brown eyes. 'Does this mean that you want to marry me?" (Dumb and obvious questions, I know, but my mind wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders at the time, you know.)

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Andy answered softly, as he looked up into my eyes. His gaze was clear and steady. His voice was smooth and mellow without the slighted hint of a tremor, as he continued speaking. "You know we can never get married, Paul. At least not in the sense that a man and a woman can get married. My job, and society in general would not permit it. I bought these rings for us. I thought it was time that I do something to show you how I feel about you, and about us."

"And just how do you feel about me, and about us?" I asked him. I wanted to be sure I understood what these rings meant to Andy, and what I would be getting into if I accepted his ring. "What exactly does wearing these rings mean, Andy?"

"For now, and forever, I am yours," Andy answered me. His voice was low and soft, but still the words seemed to thunder from his lips and deafen me. "My heart, my mind, and my soul are yours. I love you with every breath that I draw and with every beat of my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, sharing my life with you, and learning all there is to know of you, as you learn to know all there is of me. For me, there is no other man in the world, but you."

"This ring is a symbol of my promise to you. My promise, to love you, to care for you, to cherish you, to respect you, and to forsake all others before you." Andy finished speaking, and smiled a timid smile at me as he looked at me. At any other time, or from any other person those words would have sounded melodramatic, but here and now coming as they did from Andy, those words rang with an undeniable and solemn truth. I could not help but believe Andy.

Oh, boy had Andy ever answered my questions! I understood exactly what he meant now. He did want to marry me, as much as we were able to. Understanding, did not make it any easier to answer him though. If anything it made it harder for me to talk. Part of me wanted to blurt out a quick 'yes', and part of me wanted time to think things over. I was fighting my own little civil war in my heart. The only things I knew for certain were that I did love Andy, and that I was confused as hell.

"Paul, will you wear this ring? My ring?" Andy asked, as he picked up one of the rings with his right hand and held it out to me. "Please don't answer now. Think about it. Call me when you are sure." Andy stood up and placed the ring back in the box. He looked down at me and smiled.

"Here's something else for you to think about as well," he said as he inserted his right hand into the left inside breast pocket of his jacket. He withdrew his right hand a moment later, and tossed a plain white envelope down on the coffee table beside me. I picked up the envelope and opened it. Inside the envelope was a plain white sheet of paper, folded once. I unfolded it, and read it. I was only mildly surprised to discover that this was a lab report. It showed the results from a series of blood tests, for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Just as I had done only a few moments ago, Andy had given me proof that he was 'clean and safe' too.

Andy spoke after a few moments of deafening silence. "I'm going to go and brush my teeth before I leave. I'll see you in a couple of minutes." Andy reached down and picked up the glass of orange juice, which I had forgotten about. Andy downed the contents quickly and placed the glass back on the coffee table, on top of the coaster that he has been using for the glass. Andy headed off to the bathroom, at a normal unhurried pace.

I stared at Andy's retreating back in silence and wonder, unable to speak. I thought about the irony of the situation. I had been thinking just this morning that I wanted something more from Andy, some sign of a commitment to this relationship. But, I had never dreamed of anything like this! I looked down at the rings as they lay there gleaming in the light. Andy was right, I needed some time to think about this. I couldn't decide right now.

I stared at the hallway, waiting for Andy's return. It seemed like only a second or two before I saw him walking back down the hall towards me. He headed over to the front hall closet, and opened the closet door. He slipped on his overcoat, and closed the closet door. All the while I remained rooted to my position on the sofa in the living room. Andy walked over to where I was and looked down at me.