The Courtship of Rachel

My white bra was now fully exposed. I knew this was the moment of no return and yet despite the new way of loving I wasn't about to stop it and I arched my back as she pushed the blouse further over my shoulders to expose my bra straps. Maggie now went to work on my breasts and front with her hands and mouth and I began to feel slightly giddy, my nipples were aching as her thumbs moved back and forth to harden them. I felt the next button popping loose and rose slightly to give her easier access to the next button. Her mouth moved down to my belly as she undid that button. My blouse was now halfway down my back and I put my hands on her head and ran my fingers through her hair.

My breathing was coming in short, sharp whimpers as Maggie kept kissing and caressing me, and then she pulled on the blouse to undo the final button. The blouse dropped all the way down and Maggie pulled back slightly as if to admire her progress.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered and I bit my lip as she undid my cuffs.

"Let's get you out of this," Maggie murmured as she undid the button at the side of the dress and unzipped me. I rose slightly as the dress slipped over my buttocks followed by my blouse. She had to stop her kissing to remove my dress and blouse completely and then she turned me around until the beanbag was at my back.

I was kneeling and Maggie was still fully dressed, which struck me in a moment of clarity as being highly unusual, a guy would at least have had his jeans off by now. Instead Maggie was stroking my near naked body with gentle fingers as she explored me, starting with my throat and front, my breasts, belly and finally my legs, which were spread apart. She locked eyes on me as she stroked my moist panties and that elicited a loud groan from yours truly.

"Oh fuck, now you've done it."

"I haven't even started yet, this is just foreplay," Maggie flicked my bra straps over my shoulders and reached behind me to undo the strap. Her mouth descended on my shoulders at the same time in a slow, deliberate exploration. This woman could kiss for all of Melbourne and as the bra fell away to expose my breasts she reached down and pulled my legs back, which forced me to lie down on my back.

I was now lying on my back with my legs apart and Maggie was kneeling in front of me. She stared at me with undisguised amusement.

"You definitely look better on your back."

"You bitch," I slapped at her.

"Let me take you to heaven," she stretched out over me and began to kiss and caress her way down my near naked body. I moaned as she sucked my nipples and licked my belly button, the moans became noticeably louder as she reached my pussy and then she moved past it to my thighs, which received as much attention as my breasts.

I was riding so high I thought I had climaxed but it was only the prelude to another session of kissing and caressing that ended with my panties pulled over my hips and tossed aside shortly afterwards and then there was a definite pause while she applied lubricant to the dildo. My eyes were locked on it and I remember thinking how much more could I take?

Maggie moved in on me, dragging it up my inner thigh to my pussy and then over my vulva, she did this several times while she kissed my belly and then I felt the shaft sliding over my opening and a moment later the tip slid in. I opened for her like a flower, letting it slide in slowly while she lapped my pussy. I thought I was going to have it all inside me right there and then but Maggie was an artiste when it came to this. Her short probes were slow stabbing motions, giving me just the tip and no more and then without warning she slid it all the way inside and my eyes rolled back in my head as I expanded to accommodate this very large object. She withdrew a few moments later and then tried again, this time going deeper and I cried for more.

"Go harder, don't stop."

"Your wish is my command," she started probing me again, just like before only now I had a little more than the tip as she kept moving in and out followed by a full insertion. I found the rhythm shortly afterwards, more of the dildo tip and full penetration. If that wasn't enough to take me to a higher plane, her tongue was only adding to the exquisitely beautiful cunnilingus. She kept lapping at me, circling my clitoral hood and I writhed beneath her. The dildo was now all the way in and then out, each penetration involved her twisting and manipulating the dildo to stimulate the clitoral nerves behind my passage. I felt as if my heart would explode, my yells and curses were louder and louder and when I finally let go it was with a series of loud yells and curses. I think I used up every curse word I knew until I was floating in a sea of nothingness and there was just that delicious feeling flowing through me.

When I came to she was settling down beside me and the dildo slicked out of me, she tapped my belly with it and I was aware my body was covered in a thin film of sweat.

"Satisfied?"

"Very fucking satisfied," I finally caught my breath, "that's a fucking first."

"One you didn't have to fake?"

"There is that," she kissed me gently, "it's the way it is with women, we know how to satisfy the other person, most of the time. All it takes is time and patience."

I propped on my elbows and studied her.

"And you're still dressed, now that is new."

"Care to undress me?" Maggie tugged at her blouse.

I look back now at that night and my attempts to get her off with fresh eyes. I was fully aroused and like a tiger unleashed as I unbuttoned her blouse and pulled it over her shoulders, our mouths met again and again as I fumbled with her jeans and finally managed to get them off and when she was naked and lying before me I moved over her as if this was the only kind of loving I'd ever known. I kissed and stroked my way up and down her body, I do recall some instructions as to what she wanted more of but they were scant. For the most part Maggie just let me go to work on her, which might have deterred me in the past but as I've said earlier I was always one to take charge. Okay I never went down on her that night but that dildo certainly got some use along with my fingers, when she finally climaxed I felt an overwhelming sense of relief combined with something I had not felt since I first kissed Desmond. Love. I would have done anything for her in that moment, even if it meant coming out and becoming one of them.

And with that said and done I have to leave off and get to bed.

***

Birgit has read my last section and I confess I was a little nervous about it, after all I was writing about my experiences with another woman, albeit many years ago. Still it's a woman she met at our civil ceremony and yet my partner was suitably impressed.

"You must have loved each other."

That much was true I conceded. Maggie and I loved each other. It sounds strange that I could have had a healthy sex life with guys for the last few years and yet the first time I fell in love was with a woman. I don't count Adam because when we broke up I felt relief. It was much the same for others as well, some I felt genuine loss but I was young and confident in my abilities to land another man sooner or later. With Maggie however, I fell heavily and yet years down the track I could attribute my intense feelings to the mechanics of our relationship instead of something deeper.

For with Maggie and I, it had to remain secret. I wasn't about to come out and so our love making had to be done when the other two were out of the house. It made for some exciting sessions in unexpected places, the thought that we could be discovered only raised the level of eroticism. It was many years later, after Birgit and I got together that I finally 'came out' about Maggie to Mandy and Georgie and to my shock they both laughed.

"We knew it was going on but neither of us knew what to say," Georgie told me, "did we say congratulations or did we ask if you knew what you were getting into?"

Birgit however wanted to know more and so here I am at 5:30 in the morning with a cup of coffee and the remains of breakfast beside me. Birgit is still sleeping and I'm remembering something she said last night.

"Tell me about the others, I want to know more."

"You want to know more about my lesbian half life?"

"Yes," she stroked my face, "you made mistakes and they made mistakes. I want to make sure I don't make the same mistakes with you in the future."

It's why I love Birgit in a way I never loved Maggie or the other two women after her. She wants to know all about that and there's no jealousy, no judging, she wants to know about me and so here I am going back over the years to 1987.

As you can probably deduce, my affair with Maggie ended. It lasted all of three months before she began to withdraw, sensing that I wasn't going to come out. Our affair would stay secret because I wanted to keep it that way. It came as a shock to me when she finally laid down the ultimatum, either come out and admit we were fucking or lose her. At the time I reacted badly and lost a lover and a friend, she moved out into another house in Hawthorn.

I graduated at the end of 1986 with honours, I was now a fully qualified accountant and over the summer my love life took a temporary hiatus as I applied for jobs but it was to be a short one as I met another woman who worked at an employment agency.

Initially, I wasn't attracted to Helen. She was in her early thirties and came across as businesslike. I was the client and there were boundaries. She was an attractive woman though with long black hair and tanned skin. It was only the second week of January that she finally found me a job at the State Bank of Victoria. I was to be stationed at the Swanston Street branch as a junior loans officer and I was so relieved to get a job I actually dropped into the employment office to thank her.

It was four o'clock on Friday afternoon and some of the staff had already gone, I actually thought the place was closed when I walked in and there was no receptionist but then Helen came through and saw me standing there in my interview clothes. I was wearing one of those white blouses buttoned to the top with a mandarin collar and my tan skirt suit. Helen was wearing a polka-dot double-breasted blouse with the wide shoulders and long cuffs, it was tucked into a tight black pencil skirt with silver buttons all the way up the front.

"How'd you go?"

"I got the job, I start next Monday so I've got a week to kick up my heels."

"Great," Helen smiled as she sat down at reception and leaned back in the chair, "so I wasn't so bad after all."

"You were great," I told her, "brilliant, all of your suggestions helped me get the job."

"All of them?"

"You bet," I looked around, "so, where is everyone?"

"David is with a client and I think Francine is on her way back, she'll be working reception but the rest have all pissed off to the pub so I'm minding the desk."

"Are you going to join them later?"

"Not likely, not really my scene," she smiled crookedly, "I was planning on meeting someone but they've suddenly decided not to show, which is a bitch," the smile vanished.

"I was actually thinking I'd get lucky tonight so I guess it'll be pizza, beer and a movie."

"That's no good, but still there's plenty of men out there or women if you're that way inclined, I just broke up with one a few months ago."

Helen exhaled and looked away, and for a moment I thought I'd gone too far but then she reached up and pulled something out from behind her blouse. I stared as I looked at the conjoined medical symbols for woman dangling from the silver chain.

"I don't tell anyone about it."

"Oh," I blinked and pushed my glasses up my nose, "neither do I, it's why I broke up with Maggie, she wanted to be out and proud and I was kind of let's just not do this."

"It's a struggle," she admitted, "being like this and on the edge. My last was like that too, but she wasn't called Maggie though," she frowned, "your Maggie, was she in the army?"

"You knew her?"

"She was a client, I never had much to do with her, it was Jodie who dealt with her."

That started another conversation about lesbianism in general but it ended when Francine came back into the office.

"So much for summer," Francine sighed, "that's the second time I've been drenched today, I'm complaining to the weather bureau, they said it would be clear skies."

"I'll be in my office," Helen rose and then looked at me, "I'll give you out some material we hand out to people starting a new job, it's pretty basic stuff though."

"Every little bit helps," I replied as I followed Helen into her office.

While Helen gathered together some pamphlets I popped the question.

"So, if you're not busy tonight, do you fancy some company?"

"Probably not a good idea," she replied, "it's crossing boundaries, I handballed Maggie over to Jodie to stop me being tempted."

"But now I'm an ex client," I pushed harder.

"And if this job doesn't work out?"

"I'll go to another employment office or a different branch, you've got one in Bayswater too you know."

She was dithering, I could read the body language.

"You already know where I live, what's to say you might not drop in tonight? My two housemates have gone home for the weekend, and by this time next month I'll be the lead tenant."

"I haven't got a car," she put the pamphlets down on the desk, "I live out in Mooroolbark."

"I'll park my car out at Blackburn station," I flicked through the pamphlets as I went on.

"I'll wait there until half past five, no, quarter to six," I looked up.

"If you are wanting company, you can come back to my joint or I'll drive you home. We can get a pizza and some grog on the way back and if we do get naked, I won't be stopping by your office just to say g'day, I'll be working in the city."

I gathered the pamphlets together and stood up.

"My car is a dark blue Torana four door, it's got a Tweety Bird sticker on the back window, you can't miss it," I slipped the pamphlets into my handbag, "and you really are hot."

With that I exited her office with a smile on my face and glancing back, I saw her through the window staring after me, I waved and stepped out into the rain. Francine wasn't wrong, it was belting down and I sheltered beneath an awning until it eased off but I felt more exhilarated by my bold approach than if she'd been a man. What would she do?

I was to find out less than an hour later when she rapped on the window. I opened the door and she slid inside and closed the door.

"Just drive," she closed her eyes, "go straight up Maroondah highway towards Croydon."

It was only when we passed the Maroondah Police station that she finally rested her hand on my leg and smiled.

"I can't believe I actually agreed to this."

"You and me both, I can't believe I actually came onto a woman just like that."

"It's an art in itself," she chuckled, "we live in changed days, these days everyone is coming out of the closet and I'm still stuck in there, which actually suits me."

Helen lived at the eastern end of Cardigan Road not far from Billanook College, we got a pizza on the way back and some wine from Dan Murphy's bottle shop and now I have to follow Birgit down to my son's garage, she's getting her gearbox serviced.

***

Birgit read my last section as I was driving her back home and she thinks she might have met Helen from Mooroolbark, although the Helen she met in 2003 lived out in Bulleen, which rings a bell because that was where Helen's ex lived with their son, Jamie.

"He was the lead guitarist in a band I saw in a pub, Helen was the manager, which surprised me when I found out she was his mother but then we got to talking. I was new in the country and trying to orientate my way around Australian place names but I'm sure she mentioned Mooroolbark."

"How old was she when you met her?"

"She'd just turned fifty, she had black hair though, plenty of hair dye and she was quite butch. She was coming onto me and at least two other women, I went home with someone else and never saw her again."

It certainly sounds like the Helen I knew, she was in her early thirties and she did have a son called Jamie, he was with his father because he was in a Catholic school and it was thought best to keep him where he'd been performing best but it hurt her to leave him there.

That Friday night stands out as being particularly memorable in my sexual history because despite the fact I knew Helen was that way inclined, I had to work hard to seduce her and seduction was the operative word for the night. She still thought of herself as being my case worker, so to speak, and I was much younger. Added to that I suppose was her relative inexperience with women, which kind of gelled with my lack of experience. What did it in the end was a game of strip poker. She had a deck of cards on the table that she kept shuffling and when I suggested we play for matches Helen simply shrugged.

"Well I'm shithouse at poker so I'd lose my shirt if it came to money."

"Even better," I grinned, "strip poker?"

"I've never played that before," her eyes flickered to me.

"It's just like poker but you bet with your clothes."

There was a moment of hesitation and then she reached for her jacket.

"Well in that place I'd better play with a handicap."

As it turned out though, I was the shittier player because that first round saw me shed my jacket, well, I had to copy her didn't I? The next round saw me lose my shoes when her straight flush beat my two pairs, I won the next round and she took off her jacket and sighed.

"Well that's my winning streak gone," she looked at her shoes.

The next round saw me holding a good hand, four of a kind but then she took two cards and her eyes shifted, women make shitty poker players because we can't hide our expressions. She had a royal flush and I winced, I'd bet my stockings against her blouse and so I removed my stockings, her eyes were riveted on me as I put one foot on her leg and peeled off the stocking, and when I put my other foot on her leg she moved it to between her legs.

"You take it off," I pulled my skirt back and undid the snaps.

Helen pulled my stocking off and I thought for sure she'd give in but it was back to strip poker and I lost another hand.

"My full house beats your straight," she reached out and undid my belt, "so that belt is coming off."

"Oh well," I arched my back, "the next round is mine."

I was right, but I won the next three rounds and she lost her shoes, belt and her stockings. By then there was a definite sexual tension in the air and because I was dealing the next round I deliberately threw the hand. I had a royal flush but discarded four cards and wound up with a full house. I'd bet my blouse against hers and now I raised the stakes.

"I'll bet my skirt as well."

She hesitated and then nodded.

"Okay, show me."

I showed my cards and she smirked.

"Straight flush beats your full house."

"Damn," I put my cards down, talk about losing big time.

It was then I did something I'd never done before and I'd seen it on movies before but this was real life. I did a striptease. I rose and wiggled my hips as I ran my hands over my body and Helen's eyes widened because this wasn't in the script. I moved my hands up and down over my front a few times before undoing the collar and sliding my fingers down the placket to show the other buttons. I undid them slowly, parting the blouse down to my cleavage and then popping that button too before undoing my skirt when I turned my back to her. The skirt slid over my buttocks and I undid the rest of the blouse and let it hit the floor as well.

"Oh, fuck," Helen squirmed, "you're even more beautiful than I thought."