The Cure

As I kissed closer and closer to her pussy I felt a slight pressure on my head as her hips raised slightly at the imminent attention she was anticipating on her neglected pussy, so I licked with a broad stroke that made her flinch and moan.

I kissed and licked and nibbled her for ages, teasing her and trying to prolong her pleasure, until finally I placed my mouth firmly over her clit and suckled until she came, bucking her pussy against my face.

When her after shocks had subsided she pulled me up the bed and cradled me in her arms, cuddling me against her shoulder once more, holding me tightly.

We lay there chatting some more and thanking each other before I made way back out into the night and home.

I have never seen Danny again since that day; not because she revolted me as expected, but because I don't go to the places she frequents or want to be associated with the group of people she hangs around with -- I certainly don't want to be seen as one of their 'playthings'. I also don't want to damage her standing with her friends by ruining her reputation as the big, hard butch.

I think she has built an image of herself as 'belonging' to a certain group associated with particular surroundings and had always been used to people being 'takers' thus expecting herself to be the 'giver'. I don't think she had ever shown the side of herself that she gave to me that night to anyone else; I hope she has since though. I feel sorry for her, and wish her well.

So why did I tell you this story?

Well, it certainly didn't cure me of lesbianism (no great surprise there!) but it did teach me a thing or two about myself and other people.

Although I had deliberately put myself in a situation with the anticipation of it being humiliating and horrible, I actually had what turned into a very satisfying and different sexual encounter with a woman I previously wouldn't have looked twice at.

This episode in my life made me realise that the old adage of not judging a book by its cover isn't only true, but vitally important because ALL women are (or can be) attractive to me, because each has the same desires and the same need for closeness and sexual satisfaction.

This has made me totally unprejudiced of body shape, size or age, as it's about the person inside, the satisfaction that we can give to each other, and the vulnerability that often emerges in the act of making love.

I also wonder whether those people in life who are just takers (which I tried to be for a night but couldn't quite achieve) really have any sexuality at all, or whether they'd be happy to be with anyone at all as long as they get what they want.

I've only ever told a couple of people about this episode, it's not something that I'm proud of after all, and now I'm telling it to someone who will write it up and post it on a public website for the world to see, because I also hope that some good can come of it.

You see I'm happy now. I'm in a mutually loving and committed relationship with my long term girlfriend who I intend to spend the rest of my life with, and having come out to my parents I know that even if I did get the 'wobbles' again I have people who love me and will support me through anything I need them for.

I hope that anyone else who gets as deranged and confused over their sexuality (or anything else in their life) will realise that they're not 'wrong' to be different and that there are other people out there in the same boat.

No, it's not always easy and sometimes along the way you meet people who for no good reason make your life hell, but most people aren't like that and we mustn't let them get us down or make us feel bad about who we are.

None of us need to be cured.