All Comments on 'The Currency of Time Ch. 01'

people about whom we know almost nothing. huge gaps in time. a very rough beginning, one night as baby sitter, one night handcuffed in a club, a movie night during which they sleep together, and suddenly it is 2 years later, they are married and daddy is dead.

FIRST thr wife is a known drunk slut whore and drug user that doesnt grasp even BASIC ideas of danger. Saying " she got under my skin" 4 or 5 times does NOT justify or explain why any smart savvy guy like this would may a TRUE party girl whore. Yes she is open and honest about it but that doesnt make explain why he married her

If they where legally married the husband still does the right to make health care decisions if and when needed and that covers amnesia.

THIRD the reason why Daniel didnt want Michael to come back makes NO sense If Daniel was truly worried fearful of Michael coming back to the US telling him he is not wanted right now not giving him any info about the accident and shutting him down financially was the way to ensure Michael would comeback

As husband, he would have say. The character you wrote might sign all kinds of prenups disavowing money, but forego the responsibility of his wife's well-being? Inconsistent.

Interesting start. I look forward to where you take this story. I can't imagine why the protagonist is interested in, much less willing to fall in love with such a damaged person, but it should make for some entertaining reading.

For example he has been fired and told he can't enter the Lancaster estate and need to learn how to live being alone blah, blah, blah. But he does at least have $125million from his share of the marriage I say this because there was no mention of a prenup so amnesia or not he is legally entitled to half her fortune. Anyway I will read the other parts before voting but at the moment slightly disappointing.

Just a little wary of investing emotion in another bitch from hell and a husband who she will try and destroy but I am armed and ready!

Please please add the remaining parts of WWWM as I'm struggling to find it elsewhere on a site that I can trust. Hopefully in that one Debbie will have some mercy as will Bill on her and we get a romantic, happy ending.

You always have more chapters.

My apologies. Will reserve judgements 'til the end.

As I got to the last paragraphs I thought the turd's done it again. Years ago it was Bill and Debbie. Now it's Michael and Deidre, another odyssey in the making!

Years ago I had to struggle along with a jilted and deceived attorney as he grappled with marital tragedy. Now it's some hot shot, get any girl he wants, oil tycoon, beat up every guy he sees whose pathetically mentally ill hair brained wife plays him like he's a cheap banjo.

Yeah we get to scrabble along with Mike! Three things about this:

One at last you've got the right kind of woman; a half crazed red head. I know the type. I married one. (I think it's Tuatha De Danaan, and they are memorizing.)

Two I have a thing for mentally deviant women, and it takes a red head to get it right.

Third, we'll get to follow poor Michael just to see how he fumbles and stumbles along. A modern Odysseus. Will our modern Penelope be the loyal spouse or will she be something else?

This is great!

You used to write stories about normal guys. Good guys. Sympathetic guys. Ones I liked.

But when you essentially wrote about five or six evil assholes and got yelled at for it (right off the top of my head: Paula, Hugh, that network director, Gail, Edwards) you changed. No more video store rental guys. You spent most of the first page making this guy into someone without any sense of morality, simply because his dick talked him into it...not once. Not twice, Not three times. Not 50 times. No, somehow this brilliant man went TWO HUNDRED TIMES without picking up a conscience.

This, once again, is not a flawed person. It is a soulless person. Which is fine. I've written stories about soulless people.

Okay. But now, you want to try to make me sympathize with him. Sorry, I heard his inner dialogue. He is an asshole. This? This is Karma calling. And the fact that these OTHER assholes are going to put your main asshole over the barrel...well, now I hate them too. This is where you want the reader? You better make this VERY facinating

Was I engaged in the asshole? I am asking myself that very question as soon as I had the wit to frame it...and I am not sure. Nothing really happened here. I got two pages of narration, a troubling hokey love story of opposites and...a fake amnesia story. I don't know him much. I know her less and everything I have heard about her is bad. You don't explain WHY he loves her, and so my SOD is almost broken right there.

Plot hole: And this is glaring. So...she lost her memory. He is her HUSBAND! He has all legal rights to adjudicate her medical choices. Not Daniel. BUT say they buy off a doctor. Say they want him to go away. They FIRED HIM? Without cause? Lawsuit city! They want him to go away? Okay...he files the papers and he gets his pre-nup money.

This does not wash legally, ethically or medically. Now, it CAN happen, but you once again have rich people magically making the rule of law vanish POOF! In a Western Country. With a free press. With Lawyers like Saul Goodman around.

And you aren't explaining it. So this story, thus far, is a faith based initiative.

so thrilled to have a new DQS story. The suspense has me on the edge of my seat. One might say that the amnesia angle is a bit typical to this site, but the hint that she might be faking is brilliant and original. Five stars and an instant favorite.

Should have walked away from the piece of shit from the first night.

Sry but not my favorite start to a story of yours. Conflicted as do I give the next chapter a read before I give up on it.

Just when it looked like you, in a round about way which is your normal route, start to hang some meat on the skeleton- you kill the story.

Hopefully you will write a follow up. The material us too good to let die and you are too good of a writer and story teller to let this die.

1* due to what could have been but was not.

They are all lying, cheating cunts.

no such thing as a nunnery dinglefuck. CONVENT!

Man, the self hate it must take to write this stuff is off the charts.

Who are you trying to impress? It sure doesn't impress me what car he drives. Goes with a lot of the other descriptions made.

Up to now you got all right. We know the staff and there past. You bring a little bit of thrill and now i am wondering what s going on. Why she fake an amnesia. The plot is set and i hope you turn it right. I m looking for the next chapter.

To you wife hater what the heck you are doing on Lit ???

If a man has a lot of girls he is a big fish, if a girl does the same you want to kill her.

Why ? And be trueful in college you did the same by fucking around, but when you marry you want a virgin. Just tell me where does she come from? You buy someone from the internet? I think you are a poor pig and all you can get is pitty.

So be a man and whrite what you think about the story and not in cliche s .

And to post anonymos only do shirker.

Please excuse my english it s not my native language.

nun·ner·y

ˈnənərē/Submit

noun

a building or group of buildings in which nuns live as a religious community; a convent

but I'll give it a try. Let's see what happens to this "sensitive" Chuck Norris character.

I am hooked.

Couldn't make it past page two...

No character here to like. No story of interest.

I like the premise for the story. Curious how it ends. I would file for divorce and try to get all I could. Pre-Nup??

A Colt Python? Bad choice.

He's experienced with women, she's a hot mess and not his type, so, of course, they get married and trouble ensues. I'll pass on the rest.

Not my kind of story, too cavalier talking about abortions and who marries a women they know loves having gang bangs. Give me a break.⭐️

He was just offered a WIN/WIN why is he upset?

How come they can fire him without cause,plus no matter how they play it,he is still married to her.

The hospital scene doesn't work....too many holes.

Wild man just shakes Daniel's hand,doesn't seem right.

Should’ve pulled the trigger on the Python. Be surprised how a gunshot in a small room can change people’s minds about things. Good start, movin’ on.

Great story plot - very erotic and the writing is outstanding. Waiting to read the next part. Ignore the trash comments!

I feel like the time skip kinda ruined the chapter to be honest. You spent most of it building up 3 characters, then instantly killed one off and removed the other from the narrative. I was intruiged by the budding romance, but after the skip, one or two paragraphs summarising their marriage isn’t enough to make me feel attached enough to their bond to care about them being split up.

We're off to a great 5-star start.

Not Very impressed BUT I am sure chapters 2 3 and 4 will make me feel better (jaybee186)

not sure if this is worth reading more of. 1st, a Colt Python vs. a 9 ml with a 12-18 shot clip? Really? Then, as he is her legal husband a court order would be needed to keep him away from her and also be in legal charge of her care Third hole in story, IF their married and She is sole owner, He has no contract, Company Title, etc?

Women be bitches. Enough said.

A fail. He knew her past and did not keep eyes on her.

More holes than a pasta collander.

Well, foreshadowing... yhanks.

Well, this started well, but the whole totally unrealistic and illegal way of trying to keep him away from her broke my suspension of disbelief and ruined it for me. Otherwise I'd have given it five stars for the characters alone.

Just doesn’t flow very well half way through the story. The end is bizarre and makes no sense. They could fire him but they couldn’t have cancelled his personal credit cards or kept him away from using his own money Seems way too farfetched and unbelievable at the end.

I am astonished just how incredibly creative DQS is as a storyteller. Can’t wait to read on!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️