The Dance of the Snow Faries

Yeah, she has a penis, just so you know what you're getting into.

I don't want to be here. The only reason that I came outside was because the place I used to be in was somewhere I didn't want to be even more. The refuge I took to was a lot colder, but it was a lot more quiet than the Sunday school room.

My rather peevish roommate insisted that I stop spending my Friday nights at home all the time. When asked if he had any good suggestions, my roommate insisted on his church's singles night. While I was initially dismissive of the idea, especially since I'm not the religious type, there were certain threats to withhold half of the electric bill...and well, here I am on a bench outside the back door of the church.

In front of the bench was a dark wooded area, a small, but thick bit of trees between the building and a small pond. A flock of ducks would stay at the pond every summer, but it was likely frozen over by now and the ducks would have moved elsewhere.

Laying his left arm on the back of the bench, he looked up at the cloudy December sky. There was nearly no moonlight tonight, so the night was a dark one. The chill wind blew through my black hair.

From behind him, the door opened and someone else came out with a sigh of relief. But a moment after the sigh, the person noticed me on the bench. "Oh, I'm not alone out here."

The source of the feminine voice came into view as I turned my head to the left and saw someone in a thick coat walk past me. Due to me being on the bench and with my head back, I didn't get a chance to look at her face. I observed her for a moment before coming up with a witty comment. "Hah, the bad music too much too handle?"

She stopped beside the bench and looked out into the woods. Due to the only light being behind us, looking into the woods was like staring at a black wall. "No, not the music. More likely because, well, I don't know. I guess I just wanted some fresh air."

I decided to sit upright and get a decent look at her. It was better for my neck anyway. She looked a little younger than me, and probably the only woman that was my own age at the gathering. Most of the women at this singles night were late-thirty somethings desperate for a kid. Her short blonde hair was blowing in the gentle, yet very cold breeze.

"Ah." I removed my arm from the other half of the bench. "You want to sit down?" It was only polite to offer.

"Uh, okay." She sounded a little surprised at the offer, but didn't turn it down and sat down to my left.

I withdrew my left arm from my side and held onto my right hand. It was a little uncomfortable, but the bench was only barely big enough to seat two adults, it was only polite to try and prevent any accidental brushing against her.

It was silent for a few moments. But one goes to these engagements to meet people and I figured I might as well participate. "You come to these things often?"

The woman nodded, but then she clarified the affirmation a moment later with a shrug. "Often? Not really. Sometimes I come when I'm feeling social." She turned towards me. "You?"

"First time."

Her initial response was a smile. "It's usually this bad. More often than not there's too many people ten years older than me."

I thought for a moment.

"Ah, you're trying to make a guess, aren't you? Your face is saying it." She looked a little peeved, but it seemed more for comedic effect than an honest reaction.

"Actually, I was thinking about if the same people seeing meeting at these gatherings for years on end. But now that you're saying I'm guessing at your age..." I rolled my eyes an turned my head away from her. "But I'm not rude enough to make guesses or ask." My head returned to neutral and looked out into the woods again.

A small chuckle echoed in the dark night. "I'm not old enough to worry about my age, but I'm no nineteen year old bimbo either."

"Ray." If you're gonna hold a conversation, even a tiny one, it's polite to offer your name. "I don't worry about my age either, but I don't think guys worry about that though."

"My name is Carrie." The blonde introduced herself before bringing her cupped hands to her mouth and exhaling on them.

The air was cold, and the gentle breeze brought an even colder wind chill with it. I wonder what brought her out here. It's not exactly pleasant weather. Looking forward out to the black woods, it wasn't a good view either.

Glancing at her, I saw her shiver in the chill air. "May want to go inside if it bothers you, I imagine it might sn-"

I was promptly interrupted by exactly what I was going to say. Tiny white flakes started to lazily fall from the sky.

She laughed softly. "You set yourself up for God to make it snow."

Even if it was a well-timed joke from God, he seemed to like it to be subtle as even after a few silent minutes, it still only fell slowly. The breeze caused them to sway back and forth as they fell.

If it was officially snowing and still cold, she was unperturbed. She must have been used to the cold and stayed watching with me. Well, I did keep stealing glances as her though, but I imagine any guy would if they were sitting with her. She was cute.

"...can I say something? I don't want to ruin the peaceful mood." Carrie asked softly.

I shrugged. "I imagine asking to say something is more ruining the mood than just saying that something that might."

Her voice shirked back a little. "Oh...I'm sorry."

Another statement from her and other shrug from me. "No need to apologize." I tried to sound reassuring. "I don't mind."

The woman smiled a little as her eyes watched with wonder a flake of snow descend from the heavens and fall to the ground. "My dad would tell me snow flakes were the fairies dancing." Her hands were once again cupped and brought to her mouth. "Isn't that so funny?" She said through cupped hands as she turned to me.

The proper response was a chortle. But her blue eyes were glistening, so I humored her a little. "Certainly more interesting to a kid than frozen water."

Still behind her cupped hands, so turned back to the snow. "Yeah. But..." she started to say, with a somewhat dampened voice "wouldn't it be great if the world was full of those things our parents told us?"

I can't say everything that my parents promised me came true. No, there isn't a Santa Claus that rewards the nice and does something with coal to the naughty kids. Little girls will never become princesses, and little boys never superheroes. Not everybody will be loved. The world isn't the sunny place where anything is possible.

Carrie looked upward toward the dark clouds. Snow slowly fell all about her. "But I guess snow isn't dancing fairies no matter how much I'd like them to be. It's just frozen water." She was disappointed.

This whole place seemed so isolated. The yellow light from behind, the darkness in front of us and the white flakes gently falling around us. It was like our own little world. Just this woman and I. "Well, who's saying it is frozen water?" I said. "You're saying they're fairies, and the only other person here isn't refuting it..." I reached forward and caught a few snowflakes in my hand. They melted quickly in my hand. Withdrawing my hand, I turned to her with a small smile. "They're having a nice party, aren't they?"

My indulging of her was paying off, as her eyes lit up and she was beaming. Carrie seemed to have been injected with that childhood wonderment that have long since died off in us both, if just for a few moments. On this dark, cold December night, the world seemed just a little more like what kids are promised.

Sitting on the bench in the icy wind was starting to freeze my blood, even in my jacket, so I stood up and stretched out a little. The evening, as well as the singles night that I've now totally lost interest in, were just starting to wind down and end.

The blonde shuffled in her heavy brown coat, and looked up at me with her blue eyes. They twinkled a little. "Are you leaving?"

I released a deep breath and the white puff escaped my lips. "No. I don't plan on leaving yet." I'd be crazy to leave a cute girl like her to go back to the singles night full of older women wanting something I'm not interested in giving or back home, so I moved in front of her and outstretched my hand. "I figured it wouldn't be right to be at a dancing party and stay off our feet the whole time."

Her face was already red from the cold, but my offer made her even redder as she blushed. Even though she was embarrassed and presumably flattered, she still took my hand in hers. Rising to her feet, she lead me away from the bench and onto the grassy patch just before the wooded area and nearing the edge of the light from the back door light.

I wanted to indulge this girl. Maybe because I was bored. Maybe because I was lonely. Maybe becauseher eyes were pleading with me that she need to be indulged. I wanted to indulge this girl. I could think up for excuses, but I only wanted to dance with her in the snow because I wanted to.

The snow falling around (or fairies dancing among) us, I brought my hand that she was holding up and placed my other hand on her back.

She placed her hand on my side and looked up expectedly at me.

"...uh, do you know how to dance?" I asked sheepishly.

Carrie's smiled died for a moment as she titled her head just so slightly in confusion. "You asked me to dance without knowing how?" She was a little embarrassed. "I was counting on you leading."

"Well, given your reaction, I can guess you don't know either." It was such a nice idea, but I didn't think it through to actually implement it No wonder whims end often in failure.

Some of the snow that had fallen on her golden hair was shaken off when she shook her head. "I'm scared about what people may think when they see me...you know." Her head turned downward followed by a sigh.

The white cloud of her breath past by my head. "Well, there will always people that will think less of you. But if something is really right and you really want to do it, then let no one but God judge you." I don't bring God up in conversation much, but I am at a church. God tends to drift into mind when at a church.

I could only see a part of her face due to the scarce lighting when she raised her head again. "Then we should dance. I want to do it."

"And it feels right. So..." I responded. Seeing as I'm the man, I was expected to lead, so I did. I took a stop behind me, a step to my left, and then back where we started. I'm pretty sure going in a triangle isn't any sort of actual dance.

As the snow fell softly around us and as we twirled, she was smiling brightly. She was laughing, enjoying herself as we moved with clumsy rhythm. The world around us was cold, and only partially lit, but we danced anyway. We even managed to keep our balance, despite the uneven ground and possibility of tree roots under our feet. Who cares if this isn't a real dance? She's happy with it, and I'm having more fun than I did at the singles night on the inside.

Her golden short hair spun as we moved about. The snow started to pile up around us, no greater than a fraction of an inch, but it was growing to a thin layer of white covered the ground .

Time passed as we 'danced', and the cold was getting to her as she started to slow down...and the distance between us grew smaller. Desperate for a source of heat, we pressed ourselves against each other. Carrie's arms were wrapped around me as our dancing devolved into simply swaying back and forth, rotating and occasionally making a step to the side.

"You didn't have to do this." She whispered as she rested her head on my shoulder. Her eyes were closed as she drank in the moment.

Her hair brushed by my nose, tickling it just a bit. It had been doing so for a while, but her shampoo smelled nice, so I didn't mind. "No worries. You're a beautiful woman." It was hard to accurately judge such a thing given she's in a heavy, figure-concealing coat, but her face was cute, and she had pretty eyes. I did have an rough idea about the size and softness of her breasts, since they were pressing up against me through the coat. "Guys go out of their way to please a beauty."

Burying her face in my shoulder, she laughed softly. Her head remained there for maybe a minute before she pulled her head back. Her eyes were a tiny bit red, but far less red then her cheeks. Her blue eyes were looking into mine now. "It's been fun, but I think we should be going. It's getting kind of late."

It had been around some time since she came out, and about half of that was spent dancing. It was probably around 10 PM, a good time to go home.

I was staring into her eyes. I was not yet ready to leave these eyes, this girl tonight. If one were to ask me a few days ago if I was prone to give into whim, I would say no, hardly. There was something about her, a magic in her eyes that intermixed with the cold winter air that made me more indulgent.

So I grinned, and did one last indulgence before I wanted to let her go. I dipped her, as seen in many a famous dance scene in the movies. As I held her in my arms, I lowered her with my own torso.

"Oh!" She said as she laughed from the suddenness of it. Her laughter transitioned to an unexpected cry in the night. "Ah! No!" Her inner thighs rubbed against my leg, she struggled. As she moved her arms forward and pushed against my chest to get away, she fell through my grip onto the ground.

"Are you alright?" I blurted out as I fell to my knees and helped to her feet.

"Y-yeah." She said weakly. "My hip hurts a little, but it's not bad." Her hand rubbed

her hip. "The thin layer of snow helped cushioned the fall, and the ground isn't very hard."

"Fairies you mean?" I might have smiled a little.

As she was brushing off the snow that had stuck to her and had fallen on her, Carrie smiled. Her hands worked quickly as they removed the snow on her side, shoulders and her hair. When she finished, she looked up at me. "Would you like to some tea? It's only a block away to my apartment."

Considering how many things I've said yes to with this woman this night, I don't think I'd stop now.

* * *

As soon as we had reached her home, Carrie insisted I stay in the living room when she went to change. I had hung my coat on a hook by the door. If I was to get comfortable and take off the coat, it was only natural she would want to get comfortable as well.

I sat on a cushy couch with a faded floral pattern on it. In front of me on a tempered glass table was a yellow mug filled almost to the brim with green tea. I don't drink tea, so when I brought it to my lips, I only sipped a little of it.

Compared to the cold, dark and isolated night we just came from, her apartment was brightly lit, warm and comfortable. It felt..a little lonely though. The only picture of a person I found with a quick, casual search was one of Jesus (as to be expected, it wasn't a photo but rather a print painting.) Maybe it was better in her bedroom.

But as I thought of what might be in her bedroom, I thought of why she might invite me into her apartment at this late hour. I imagine a typical woman would invite a man to her apartment at night to...scratch a certain itch. But I met Carrie at a church's singles night, the men and women at such an event would not be looking for a cute someone to scratch that certain itch, but rather to find a prospective husband or wife. Does she want to see if I'll be a good husband?

I heard the door open, and looked toward the source of the sound.

Carrie exited her bedroom wearing a long sleeve lavender pink blouse and a black skirt that went down just past her knees. "Sorry for the wait."

When she sat down rather close to me on the couch, I finally had a good glance at her body. She was rather curvy and certainly looked soft to the touch. Her breasts looked like quite a handful, maybe not porn star big, but certainly large for a girl that hasn't gone under the knife. Although the skirt she was wearing was a bit on the modest side, her legs still looked like they should be licensed as lethal weapons (if looks could kill.)

"...do you want any more tea?" She asked politely.

I shook my head as I raised up the mug filled with the fluid. I shook it slightly so she could see the amount in it already. "Got plenty." While I was lifting it up, I took a sip. Tea was always too subtle of a taste for me, but I didn't make a show of it. It was a hot beverage, nice after just coming in from the cold

She had a small smile. "Oh, that's good." Her face turned red a little as she looked at me for just a split second longer than she probably needed to. The movement her head made when she realized she was staring a bit too long was sudden enough that it drew my attention more than her stare.

It was difficult to try and converse given the circumstances. "So..." My voice trailed off for a moment as I mentally scrambled to find a topic. "So..."

"So...?"

"Do you live alone?" I figured if she's entertaining at past ten at night without notice, I imagine she doesn't share my pain of living with a roommate.

Her hair bobbed as she nodded in affirmation and turned to face me. "Yeah. It's a nice place, but my uncle owns the building, so it's not too bad. I get a reasonable rent discount from him too." Her face became more red.

A chuckle escaped my lips. "What luck." I peered out a window with a turn of my head. Her apartment was on the third and top floor, so she had a nice view. If it were day, she might be able to see the lake on the other side of the woods by the church. "I wonder if there's a place for rent here. Looks like a nice building..."

Carrie was silent.

I turned to her, seeing if she was thinking. "Maybe you can get me a de-"

"Can I take your hand?" Her eyes were looking down at my hand, currently holding my mug full of tea. She wanted to hold that hand. Her eyes screamed desire for that hand.

Putting the mug down, I nodded and offered it to her. "Well, as long as you don't cut it off or something." I grinned, trying to save my pathetic joke.

Looking down, with her face blushing as much as physically possible, she took my hand. While she brought it down by her legs, she opened them. "I've asked a lot of you tonight." She said. Her hand, holding mine went under her skirt. "I want you to fulfill one last selfish dream of mine." My hand brushed against the soft skin of her trembling inner thighs. "P-please be my l-lover tonight."

My current career is not gynecology, so I can't be considered an absolute expert in regards to a woman's reproductive system beyond my experience in the boudoir, pornography and what I recall from a sex-ed class long ago. But even someone who is a complete novice in such regards would feel that something was odd when my hand was pressed against her sex. It was hard, nearly like a rock. It also felt familiar. "What...?"

From behind her blond hair, I could see that her face was still red. "I'm..not normal. I'm a girl, but I'm also not a girl." She was trembling. "I go to the singles night when my heart aches too much, if only to talk and flirt a little with a man twice my age. But tonight, you were so kind to me...and so cute..." A few awkward pauses slipped into her words, from the sound of it, she's sobbing and trying to hide it. "I know a man could never fall in love with me, b-but just once..I want to know the touch of a man and be l-loved by him, even if it's just a lie."

As a guy, I didn't want to say no to her. But it was possible to say no to my libido and leave. I've done it before, this is a time that I can. But I didn't move a muscle to get up and leave. I could betray my desires as a guy and walk out, my more macho friends would ridicule me for walking out on a chance to fuck a girl and my libido would certainly hate me for it. But greater than my desires as a guy were my self-respect as a man. This woman, this beautiful woman was crying, and there was something I could do about it. I can't betray my self-respect as a man without repercussion. I could physically walk out, but I'd never be able to look at myself in the eye in the mirror again.