The Darkness Within Ch. 01

When I was eighteen, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. We'd been going out for about four months and he just kept pressuring me for sex. Between not wanting to be a virgin anymore and wanting my boyfriend to stop begging for sex, I gave up my cherry.

Now, contrary to what you see at the movies and on T.V., losing your virginity is not pleasant! It hurts like hell! Anyway, after I gave up my cherry, all he wanted to do was fuck. This is how the sex was for the next month. I would give him head and he would fuck my pussy. That's it! He never gave me oral sex because he thought it was gross. Yet, he would ask me to swallow his cum when he came. I never did. He also asked if he could fuck me in the ass. Again, I never let him. Then he would try to fuck me without a condom on. Which I never let happen.

After another month of this crap I broke up with him. He had the sexual passion of a door knob. I never came once with him.

The next boyfriend I had was when I was nineteen. He was completely different from my first boyfriend. He was very sweet and treated me like a queen. He was older, about twenty-five and in college. But when it came to sex he was all romantic and gentle. Which was nice at first. Plus, he would eat me out. But again, something was missing. I never came with him either. The only time I ever got close to orgasms with him was when he would eat my pussy. Having sex with him was nice but with him everything had to be perfect and special. Everything had to be a certain way - candles, flowers and soft music.

Most girls would love that stuff and I did too, at first. But after the eighth month of nice romantic sex I broke up with him. I wanted something more. Something he couldn't give me. When I fell asleep when he was "making love to me" I knew it was over.

Once I finished my freshmen year in college and the summer began is when my sex life changed for the better. It was the middle of June and I was in my bedroom watching late night crap on cable. I was scanning the channels when I came across a woman in a red two piece swim suit, sunbathing in a canoe on a river. I put the remote down and watched the movie. Two men in a motor boat began to harass her then tied a rope to her canoe and pulled her down the river. Once they got her away from where she was staying, they pulled her canoe to shore. She jumped out of her canoe and ran from the men.

The two men caught her with the help of two more men that were waiting for her in the woods. They surrounded her then one man tore off her top. Her soft breasts fell out. She tried to fight but was pushed to the ground.

My heart was racing and my pussy was so wet from watching what was happening to this woman. I hiked up my nightshirt and spread my legs wide open. I slid my hand into my damp panties. The woman in the movie was held down and her legs were spread wide open for the men to rape her. I began to stroke my clit. I couldn't believe how turned on I was by this movie. One of the men began to rape her and I thrust my finger deep into my wet hole and let out a moan.

I was imagining myself being taken by them. I felt like I was in heat. 'How can I like this?' I thought to myself. 'This is sick, isn't it? This is wrong.'

But I didn't care. I kept ramming my finger into my pussy, matching the man's thrusts in the movie. When he came in her, I had my first orgasm. It felt so good. I lost all control over my body, shaking from head to toe.

After my orgasm passed, I laid on my bed, exhausted and covered in sweat. I ended up watching the whole movie. I masturbated two more times before the movie ended.

If you want to know more about the movie, rent I Spit On Your Grave.

After the movie, I turned off the television and just laid on my bed. I smiled and thought, 'I want more.'

The next day, I awoke early and headed to the Adult Toy Store. I had heard they rented all kinds of porn so I thought that that would be the place to rent rape movies.

I walked in and went into the movie room. They had everything from what I could see. I saw all kinds of categories. Between you and me, I had never seen a porn movie in my life. I had had no idea there were so many different ways people got turned on.

I had gotten to a section called Fisting, when I decided to ask for help. I took two steps then stopped. I couldn't do it. I felt dirty for wanting a rape movie. There I was in the world of dirty and I was afraid to ask for what I wanted. Of course, rape was a crime and as far as I knew none of the other categories were against the law. But movies weren't real, so they were okay, right?

I stood there trying to convince myself that it was okay to ask for help from the girl up front. I chickened out, I couldn't do it. I went back to looking by myself.

I finally found it. I didn't understand why it was called BDSM but I didn't care. From what I read and saw on the back of the boxes, it was exactly what I wanted. I grabbed three movies and went up front.

The girl looked at me kind of strange and I felt a little embarrassed but I wanted to see the movies so I endured her odd looks.

Once I got home, I ran upstairs and got completely naked. I put in the first movie, laid back on my bed, and spread my legs. Two men broke into a woman's house and took her into her bedroom. They stripped her down and tied her to the bed. Then they left her there. For the next five minutes I got to watch the woman struggle to get free.

The following five minutes were close up shots of her hand and feet trying to break free from their restraints. Then the men returned and I thought, 'Oh, boy, she's going to get it now!'

The men removed her from the bed and tied her to a chair. The men threatened her a few times and then left the room. Again, for the next ten minutes I got to watch her struggle to get free with close ups of her hands and feet where they were bound.

To my dismay, the whole movie was more of the same. There was no sex in it at all. I think the worst thing to happen to the woman in the whole movie was that maybe she got a rope burn.

I went on to the next movie. This one looked like the man was going to get really rough with two women. I was very excited at first, until I reached nearly the middle of the movie and I realized that, once again, there was no sex. All the guy did in the movie was chain or tie the women up and hurt them. That was it! No sex at all!

Now I stared at the last DVD box. I put it in the DVD player and watched it. It was just the same as the first movie I had watched.

When the end credits played, I screamed, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

I was frustrated and pissed off. I put on my clothes and took back the movies.

I asked the girl at the counter if the movies I had rented were rated R.

She laughed and said, "No, why?"

I replied, "Because there was no sex in them! Not one of them!"

She looked at the movies and said, "Well, there wouldn't be any sex in the BDSM movies." I gave her a blank stare and she said, "In these movies it's all about giving or receiving pain and being restrained."

"That it?" I asked.

"Yep, that's it. Why, what were you looking for?"

There was a long pause and then I said, "I just thought there would be some sex in them."

I smiled and then walked into the movie room. I scanned the whole room and couldn't find one rape movie. I gave up and headed for the exit.

As I got to the door, I noticed a big bulletin board. I was curious so I went over to have a look. One paper caught my eye.

It was neon green with black ink. It simply read: DOMINANT MALE LOOKING TO ACT OUT A DARK FANTASY WITH A PETITE YOUNG SUBMISSIVE FEMALE. IF INTERESTED CALL 555-6666. ASK FOR GREG.

I took the paper and put it in my pocket. I thought maybe if I got brave enough I would use the number. With a giggle I left the building.

While I was driving home, I had a great idea. I wondered if I could find what I wanted online. Sure enough, there were plenty of rape sites. I didn't join any of them because I was afraid my parents would manage to find out. I did, however, look at all the free pictures the rape sites had to offer.

For the following week, I masturbated myself into a frenzy on the computer. The thing that sucked was that not one of the rape sites offered free mpegs. I would have loved to see how rough they got with the girls in their movies.

Another week passed and I was sick of the same pictures day in and day out. Then I remembered the paper I had gotten at the Adult Toy Store.

I ran upstairs and found the paper. I laid on my bed, looking at the paper all afternoon, debating whether or not to call the number.

By dinner time I had made my choice. I was going to call. After dinner, I went back up to my room and stared at the phone for half an hour. I finally said aloud, "Oh, fuck it!" then dialed the number.

It rang three times with no answer. I was about to hang up when I heard a deep, sexy voice say, "Hello."

I completely froze up.

Again the voice said, "Hello?"

There was a long pause before I blurted out, "Hi, is Greg there?"

"Speaking," he answered.

There was another long pause, then I said, "I'm calling about your paper."

He said, "Paper?"

I replied, "The dark fantasy paper."

He laughed and then said, "Oh, yeah. I didn't hear from anyone so I figured someone threw it away. What is your name?"

I said, "Lori."

We actually had a great conversation about our dark desires. He had gone through the same stuff I had with the BDSM movies and online rape sites. It was nice to find someone I could be honest with about my dark secret and not feel ashamed.

After a good hour, he asked, "So, Lori, describe yourself to me."

I said, "Well, I'm 5'6", 105 pounds, I have long blond hair and blue eyes."

He asked, "What size are your breasts?"

I said, "36 B."

Greg said, "You are exactly what I want."

I began to smile and then he said, "You like that, don't you? You like that I want you. That I want to use you as my rape doll."

He was very serious now. My heart was beating hard within my chest and I was getting so wet for him.

I whispered, "Yes."

Then out of the blue he said, "Wait a minute, how old are you? With my luck, you are probably under age."

I quickly responded, "No, I'm twenty, I promise."

He said, "Good."

I asked him to describe himself to me.

He said, "Would you know ahead of time what your rapist would look like it if were real?"

I replied, "No, probably not."

Greg said, "So I'm not going to tell you. I will tell you that I'm in my thirties, but that is all I will tell you."

He asked if I was still interested in acting out the fantasy and I replied, "Yes."

He gave me his address and told me to be there at nine p.m. Greg had two requests of me. First, I was to make sure that my pussy was completely shaved smooth. That was easy because I always kept my pussy smooth. I had always heard that that was how guys preferred it. The second request was that I wear a white summer dress that would fall just above my knees. I agreed to both requests.

Greg said, "Tomorrow night I am going to do whatever I want to you, do you understand?"

I replied, "Yes."

He continued, "I will humiliate you, hurt you, and use you anyway I see fit. Once you step foot into my house, you are mine. There will be no don't or stop once you are inside. Make sure you know this is what you really want. You can change your mind right up until you walk through my door - after that it is too late. Do you understand?"

I breathed, "Yes, I understand."

He said, "Good. Now there is only one more thing that I want from you, Lori."

I asked, "What?"

Greg said, "I want you to tell me to rape you. If you don't, I'll call the whole thing off."

I was stunned but I knew he meant it when he said he would call the whole thing off. I felt dirty and ashamed but I whispered, "I want you to rape me."

He quickly replied, "What was that? I couldn't hear you, Lori."

I knew damn well he had heard me but I said again, louder, "I want you to rape me!"

I felt so humiliated and then Greg didn't say anything for a few seconds to make my humilation worse. Finally he said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

The line went dead and I hung up with a big smile on my face. I was so excited that night that I couldn't sleep. When the sun came up, I had breakfast and then went shopping for my rape dress.

I found exactly what he wanted. I bought a nice pair of white panties with little yellow flowers on them to go with my dress.

The whole day went extremely slow. I thought nine o'clock would never arrive. At eight I finished my bath and shaved my arm pits, legs, and pussy. By eight-thirty I was ready for my rape.

I got to his place at eight-fifty and parked my car. I sat there, second guessing myself.

I thought, 'Should I do this? What if he's a murderer? What if this is how he brings his victims to him? This is so dirty and I should feel ashamed for coming here tonight.'

I started my car and thought, 'This wrong, I should go home.' Then another part of me thought, 'What happens if I am passing up the best sexual experience of my life?'

I didn't think Greg would give me a second chance. Then I started thinking of the pictures I had seen on the computer. All of those girls being forced to do the nastiest things to please their rapists. I was getting so wet thinking about what could happen to me in the house. I needed to satisfy my dark desires.

I turned off my car and got out. I walked up to the front door. Greg had told me to just walk in when I arrived. I was shaking from head to toe with fear and excitement. I found it hard to breathe.

I took hold of the knob, turned it, and pushed the door open. It was totally dark inside. I looked at the frame of the door and thought about what Greg had said to me on the phone - once you step into my house you are mine. There will be no don't or stop once you are inside.

I hesitated for a second, closed my eyes, and walked through the door into the darkness.

To be continued...

BMR

(I'll be watching the votes on this story. Make me happy or you'll get a punishment. Chapter 2 is ready to go but if you want to see it...Like I said I'll be watching the votes!) :)