The Digital Arts

In a discussion I had with a group of ladies, I asked them what physical characteristic of a man makes him sexually attractive. After eyes and lips, the answer was overwhelmingly hands. Sure, girls might want to see a nice ass, strong thighs, or broad shoulders, but if a man has nice hands, women will notice him. I know you guys are rubbing your heads and thinking to yourself...uh yeah...sure. But hear me out.

In every relationship I've had with another woman, as different in nature and varied as they were, each sexual experience had one thing in common. Fingering. Lots and lots of fingering. It's not as if we didn't have dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, etc laying around to use. We just chose not to. And even though no one eats pussy better than a woman, that's not how we spent the majority of our time in bed either. It always went back to fingers. And I'll tell you why. For a woman, it is ten times easier to have an orgasm from fingering than from fucking or even being eaten out. (If done correctly anyway.)

You have to take into consideration that in order for a woman to have an orgasm, not only must all the right spots down below be stimulated, but she has to be able to relax and let go all at the same time. That can be kinda difficult when you have someone's face buried between your thighs, practically begging you to cum with every lick, suck, and flick of their tongue. And no matter how good they are at it, they may or may not be able to get you there. But fingering...that's something entirely different.

Let's just take a purely psychological look at it first. Sexually, most women need to feel connected to the person they are with (even if only for that moment) in order to truly enjoy sex. Women like to be kissed and touched and held. And those things are very difficult when all you can even see of the guy is the top of his head and occasionally his eyeballs peering out from between your legs (which can be a really bizarre and distracting sight at times). But if the guy is laying beside you, you're all wrapped up in his arms, his lips are traveling all over your neck, your breasts, and of course your lips, and then his fingers start to dance up the inside of your thigh and then up to your soft, wet lips...well, that's just heaven. As the girl, you get to feel safe and loved. When a guy goes down on you, it gets kinda lonely up top sometimes. And personally, I'd rather a guy spend the majority of his time kissing the lips on my face than the ones between my legs. (Not that oral sex isn't amazing at times...I'm just asking you to take another look at an old favorite.)

Do you guys remember the first time you got a girl to fuck you? Do you remember how that happened? I'd be willing to bet that it included a lot of fingering. It's funny that teenage boys know that, but somehow grown men tend to forget it. They just want to skip right over it and get on to 'the real stuff'. Fingering is just the preview before the main attraction, right? Wrong.

The easiest way for a woman to cum is through manual stimulation. Think about it...your fingers can do all kinds of things all at the same time. Rub, squeeze, pinch, tickle, thrust, plunge, grind. They can be gentle and careful or rigid and rough. You can hit all the right spots at the same time and your jaw doesn't even lock up in the process. And I promise...if you're patient and good at it, she'll cum at least twice and still be begging you to fuck her. I know I would.

Try this...it would certainly work on me:

Start very slowly...I'm talking so slowly that she doesn't even realize your fingers are there for a few minutes. Barely graze her lips with your fingers, play with any hair she might have, and as she begins to get wet, slide your fingers over the slippery spot, but don't let them slip between her lips yet.

After a few minutes of that blissful torture, she'll probably start to do one of two things. She'll either begin to spread her legs more and more. Or her hips will start to move (most likely in little circles or up toward your fingers trying to get you to slide them in without having to tell you). Don't do it. As soon as she starts doing that, you have her. Let your fingers slide down lower, running the tip of one of your wet fingers over her asshole. (Don't get all brave though and try to slide it in. That's for another time.) Gently...very gently, using your wet finger, stroke it for just a few seconds, never penetrating, just grazing. Then slide your fingers back up and let just the tip of one finger slip between her lips...not inside her, just parting the lips.

Take your finger and run it from the vaginal opening all the way up to where the lips begin. Go back and forth, slowly and gently a few times, spreading out the juices, making her slit soaked, top to bottom. Not only will it make it easier for your finger to glide over all the right spots, but the more moist the skin down there, the more sensation there is. (That's why shaving is so nice...no hair to hold the moisture so it stays on the skin.)

To familiarize you guys with a part of the female anatomy that is rarely discussed...something I never even knew about until I was with my first lesbian...the clit vein. This is the vein that carries all the blood to the clit...that is its only function. So as you might imagine, stimulating that vein is like using a remote control on the clit. And you can be rougher on the clit vein than on the clit itself. Seriously, pay attention to where female porn stars are rubbing themselves when masturbating on screen. It's up higher than the clit. And even if the tip of their finger is on that magic button, the majority of their finger is rubbing much harder on the skin above it. That's where the clit vein is. To find it, start where her lips begin under her pubic hair (or where it would be if she had any). Start running your finger straight down, toward the vaginal opening and you'll feel a hard little shaft-like thing that runs parallel to the lips and dead ends at the clit. Now, with your wet finger, maybe even two of them, rub that vein...gently at first, but you can build up to a little pressure. Just gauge her responses.

By this point, she's probably trying to finger herself, or at the very least, trying to push your fingers down farther. So, without further hesitation, slip ONE finger inside her and watch her buck her hips trying to get you to finger fuck her. But don't. Using that one finger, just explore inside her for a few minutes very slowly. (And of course, having your thumb every so gently rubbing her clit right then would be a great idea!)

Now, she should be squirming, biting your neck, grinding against your hand, twisting her own nipples, and most likely, reaching for your hard cock (if she hasn't already). But just let this one be about her for a while. Actually, I suggest leaving your underwear on and letting her touch you through them for a while...keeps things from getting too um...explosive...too soon.

The poor girl has to be frenzied by now, so slide another finger inside her and reach for the g-spot with those fingers while still rubbing her clit with your thumb (just make sure you aren't putting too much pressure on her clit or getting too overzealous with it cause that can really hurt). While gripping her in that C-clamp (as Jimmy refers to it), start to grind your fingers into her, putting pressure on the g-spot. That in and out stuff doesn't really do much with fingers unless you're using more than two.

As she gets wetter and wetter (and trust me, after all that, if you put pressure on the g-spot long enough, she might just gush for you), give her another finger (or two if she wants). And once you have three (or four) fingers inside her, you can get a little rougher because she's definitely gonna have the lubrication for it. That's where the strong, forceful arms come in handy. Be as rough as she wants. Fuck her with your fingers (you don't really have to worry about the clit anymore at this point...if she needs it, she'll rub it herself. But I certainly wouldn't require clitoral stimulation with everything else going on.). Do it hard and don't pull your fingers all the way out. It's just like when a woman is on top of you. Grind her pussy with your fingers...a circular motion couldn't hurt either. You can even use your knee behind your hand to push your fingers in more deeply...or even have her ride your fingers the way she wants to ride your cock.

Hmmm...I got started on that and just couldn't stop. I've also managed to get myself all wet at work again! Seriously, guys, use some of that manual dexterity you've gained from playing all those video games. Do this to a woman and she will not only be begging you to fuck her, but you will possibly give her the coveted female ejaculation orgasm...and that is just a whole other ballgame, folks!