The Disabled Fuck that Never Was

I went on an awkward internet date one time. This was a long time ago, and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't actually hook up with him, but I really goddamn wanted to. I regret it to this day some seven years later. Here's how I wish it had gone down:

He had muscular dystrophy. Actually, he had a different type than the guy I would date a few years later. I'm not sure which kind it was. At any rate, he was probably in his early forties, with curly brown hair, and kind of ruddy cheeks, and he had the most beautiful body I had ever seen.

We met up for drinks and he made me so nervous. I had never been out with someone very disabled before, and I was nervous because I was so ridiculously attracted to him. But I didn't want to be rude and stare, because how could he know I was staring out of lust and not out of morbid curiosity? I was really shy about my sexuality back then, so there was no way I could just tell him, "I think you're really sexy," even though I did.

We talked the usual first-date small talk. He drank beer from a straw because his beautiful hands and arms were too weak to lift a pint. I drank too much because I was so nervous. He talked to me about his work, he did some kind of financial work that I was too tipsy to understand. I told him about my super-glamorous food service job. He told a funny story about getting his wheelchair stuck in a tree when he was a teenager... I don't remember the whole story, but his good humor about it all made a big impression on me. We talked about the city and local landmarks and that kind of thing.

I probably didn't have much of a personality that night between the booze and my nerves, but I remember the moment he decided he liked me. I remember the way his face lit up in a huge smile.

"You haven't asked me about my disability yet," he said.

"No, it's not really my business unless you would want to talk about it," was all I could say, because even back then I thought it was rude to butt into a stranger's health information.

And that's when he smiled. I mean, he'd smiled before throughout the evening but he smiled so big, he said, "That's awesome." I guess he was pretty used to people asking a bunch of shitty unnecessary questions. And I think that's when he first propositioned me. I don't remember exactly what he said, but he alluded to being well-endowed and wanting to hook up.

I demurred, because I was shy, I didn't know how to respond. I wanted him but I didn't know how to say it. I wasn't comfortable with myself or my sexuality yet, I wasn't capable of saying yes.

But I wanted to.

As we finished our drinks, we went outside for a cigarette. He asked me to get his smokes out of his pocket because he couldn't do it. Either that or he was teasing me. Maybe both. My hands were shaking because I wanted to touch him but I didn't know how, and I didn't know how to ask, so I just handed him the cigarettes and lit up one of my own.

"So do you want to come home with me tonight?" he asked me again.

In spite of myself, my repressed sexuality, and my Puritanical upbringing, I managed to meekly say, "Yes?"

"Awesome," he said again, smiling that gorgeous smile.

We settled our tabs and went back to his place. He lived in an apartment within walking (or rolling) distance, and as we strolled down the trendy high street, my final beer kicked in and I summoned the nerve to take his hand in mine. I noted that it was smaller than mine, the bones were frail, and of course his grip was weak. It was perfect.

My heart was pounding, and my pussy was hot and swollen. I was so nervous on so many levels; nervous about hooking up, nervous about my own insecurities, but mostly I was that kind of tongue-tied awkward nervous that you get around someone you find really sexy. He was extremely disabled and I found it extremely attractive, and he was attracted extremely to me. I may be taller and stronger than the average chick but I'm also pretty damn good looking. And I mean he was a cool person and all that too, but this is erotica so we don't care about personality, do we? He was brainy and business-savvy and probably pretty fashionable, but we don't care about that. All we need to know is he was just a dude who wanted to get laid.

His apartment was sparse and modern and he had a live-in nurse. She wasn't around at the moment, I guess because he was out on a date or whatever, so we had the place to ourselves. He put on some music and offered me a drink.

"Sure," I said, never one to turn down a drink.

"Beer and wine in the fridge," he said, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

"Thanks, do you want any?"

"I'm good," he said, and as I helped myself to some Riesling I realized that one pint of beer in his rather slight body was probably akin to five in mine (lest we forget that I'm a six-foot-tall badass). It was honestly kind of a turn-on to think of him being so delicate, and it was really a turn-on to reckon the drastic difference in our sizes. He was very small for a man and I was very tall for a woman, opposite extremes. I sat on the end of the couch beside him, and tried to relax, but we had exhausted small talk by that point and now there was only the sexual tension crackling between us.

I gulped half the wine in my glass.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking deeply amused.

"Yeah," I said, running my fingers over the condensation forming on the glass. "Do you, um... want some of this?" I held up the glass. Even I wasn't sure what I was doing at that point. I was way past tipsy and my mouth was running away with me.

"Maybe, but I can't hold the glass," he said.

"That's okay," I said, leaning over the edge of the couch. "I'll help." I proffered the glass to his lips and he accepted it. A thrill ran through my body at this moment, this tipping point of physical intimacy- what's more intimate, after all, than helping someone eat or drink? I got a rush of courage (and maybe the half-glass I'd just had kicked in) and set the glass aside.

"I, uh... I really want to kiss you," I confessed.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, still grinning, I don't think he had stopped grinning since we left the bar.

"Can I?"

"Of course."

I took a deep breath in preparation, then leaned far over and pressed my lips to his. It felt nice, so I kissed him again, but the angle was uncomfortable, so I stood up. I don't know if there was a better way to do it but logic was out of my head by then, I love kissing and I was so damn horny. I bent over him, resting my hand on the back of his chair, while my other hand curled under his chin so I could kiss him deeper. He kissed back, pliant as I parted his lips with my tongue.

My hand wandered to rest on his shoulder. At first, I was a little startled by how thin and small it was, after all, he was in his forties and his muscles had probably been wasting for... well, I don't know, his entire life? He was much smaller than most men, you could tell just by looking, but touching him was something else entirely. I paused in kissing him and looked at my big, strong hand dwarfing his shoulder, and suddenly all my hesitation and apprehension melted away. I was turned on by him, I wanted him; he was turned on by me, he wanted me. The tension between us crackled to life. I kissed him again, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze, cupping his cheek with my other hand, and I felt him reach out and rest his hand on my arm.

"Can we..." I started to say, but I got shy for a second and bit my lip.

"What?" he prompted me, grinning mischievously.

"Can we go somewhere more... comfortable?" I whispered, meaning, of course, the bedroom. As much as I liked him in his wheelchair, it was an awkward position for kissing.

"Yeah, c'mon," he said, taking my hand. I followed him to the bedroom, startled slightly by the bevy of medical apparatus in there. Only then did it dawn on me that maybe he was even weaker than he seemed. My eyes lighted on a machine right beside the bed with a long, crimped tube coming off of it. He gave my hand a small sort of tug, as if reminding me that I pretty much by necessity had to be the instigator in this situation. I shook off the surprise and turned my focus back to him, leaning down to press another kiss to his lips.

"Can we get on the bed?" I murmured.

"Yeah," he said. "You'll have to..." He trailed off, seemed a bit apprehensive.

"Pick you up?" I finished for him, grinning.

"Yeah."

"Look, hun, don't be shy about telling me what you need." I cupped his cheek with one hand, letting my other hand wander down to the slender nylon straps that kept him secured in the chair. "Just tell me, whatever you need or want. I knew when I saw you drinking beer from a straw that you'd need help," I laughed. "Honestly, I... I enjoy helping you," I admitted as I finish with his straps. "I've never done this before."

"That's fine, you can pick me up under the arms and transfer to the bed so we can lay down."

"I don't want to hurt you," I said, unsure.

"It'll be fine. I'll tell you if anything hurts. I'm not made of glass though."

I nodded, and, drawing a deep breath, I scooped him up in my arms. He couldn't have weighed more than sixty pounds or so, it was so easy to pick him up, and I loved it. I loved the feeling of his fragile body in my strong arms, I loved the feel of our chests pressed together, our hearts racing in time, as I gently settled him on the bed, minding his head as I lowered it to the pillow. He smiled as I climbed on to the bed and straddled him, lowering myself on my arms to kiss him again. I ran a hand down his body, slowly, from his cheek, down his neck, down his chest, to his crooked hips. My touch wandered inward, where I could feel his dick already nice and hard. I was glad he was hard because I was wet as all fuck by then.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were well-endowed," I murmured, grasping his cock through his trousers and underwear.

"Would a face like this lie to you?" he teased.

"It's a handsome face, so you could get away with it, for sure," I said, feeling around for the waistband of his pants. He wore denim, but the fly was just decoration. The waist was elastic- easier to put on, probably. Also easier to take off.

"Is it okay if I...?" I asked. I don't know why I asked, I guess I just felt sort of overprotective of him by then, and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with what I was doing, since he couldn't do much on his own.

"Is it okay? It's fucking awesome," he said, "please do."

With that, I gently pulled the waist of the pants down over his hips. His hips were really uneven, I noticed, and I wondered fleetingly if it hurt him to be like that. My thoughts were diverted as the trousers came the rest of the way off and revealed his legs, which were very short and very thin, but hairy.

I loved hairy guys. It was a sign of virility. Something about all that beautiful dark hair on his skinny legs made my pussy practically gush. I slid my hands up his thighs and then touched the waistband of his boxers, beneath which lurked a massive erection which I could hardly wait to play with. Even I wasn't sure if I was serious or teasing him when I looked up, my fingers hooked beneath the elastic of the boxers, and smiled at him.

"Are you really sure?" I asked.

"Now you're just teasing," he declared, laughing. "Have your way with me, Kitty. I'll tell you if I want you to stop. Promise."

"Hm... okay," I said, grinning, and I slipped his underwear down, too, unable to suppress a little whimper of longing as his gorgeous cock sprang free. I ran my hands up his legs again, I couldn't get enough of them, but his dick was more enticing so I let my hands slide up his thighs and back to his hips. I slid my fingers under the hem of his shirt and closed my eyes, running my palms over his chest and stomach, but before I could take his shirt off, he stopped me.

"You first," he said.

"Huh?"

"Can you get undressed?" he clarified. "I really want to see you naked while you do this."

A blush galloped to my cheeks because it felt damn good to be told that I was wanted. I climbed off of him obligingly and started humming fake stripper music as I slipped off my own pants (no underwear- I never wore underwear), then slowly took my shirt over my head, then, with a flourish, my bra. I posed for him as he watched, turning around so he could admire my back and ass, then I climbed back on the bed.

"Better?" I asked, petting his chest. Actually, it felt better for me, too, now that I was naked, and could feel his hairy little legs against mine.

"Yeah, much. Thank you." He reached out and his hands brushed my skin lightly.

"Do you need help?" I asked, cocking my head to one side, remembering that this guy was too weak to get stuff out of his own pocket, so if he wanted to touch me, he might need a little assistance.

"Maybe a little, yeah," he said.

Leaning on one arm, I grasped one of his hands in mine, then brought it to my chest. I pressed his hand flat against my collarbone, then up my shoulder, then down to my breast. I felt his fingers curling in as I moved his hand downward, and between the two of us he played with my nipple and massaged my breast, my cunt throbbing in response to his touch.

After a minute or so, I moved his hand down my stomach. He caressed my hip, then I guided his hand inward. I watched his face carefully, ready to stop if he showed any indication of discomfort, but as far as I could tell, he was way into it, and he had promised to tell me if he wanted me to stop. Panting softly, I guided his fingertips to the top of my pubic mound, then very slowly downward. I could feel his fingers shaking as I guided them between my pussy lips. He wasn't strong enough to lift or hold his arm up, but he could still move his fingers, and a long, high-pitched moan escaped me as he pressed two of his fingers into my clit.

"You like that?" he asked. I could hear his breath speeding up now, too.

"Oh, fuck yes," I whispered, whimpering as he pressed and released in a gentle rhythm, threatening to make me cum before we'd even started. "I wanna fuck you... do you want to fuck me?"

"Fuck yeah I do," he murmured. "My arm's kinda tired anyway."

"Then rest yourself, babe, and let me drive for a while," I said. I removed his hand from my pussy, but before I let go, I brought his fingers to my lip and sucked them, then kissed the pads, and lowered his arm to the bed.

His dick was so hard it was practically at a right angle with his body. I really wanted it inside me, but I couldn't resist giving it a kiss, first. He made a noise somewhere between a groan and a laugh as I lovingly suckled the tip of his dick, fondling his balls with my long fingers.

I would've been happy to blow him until he came in my mouth but my pussy was insistent on being fucked. I sucked him a few times, I even sucked his balls a little, then I climbed back up and straddled him. I admired his small, disabled form for a moment, appreciating every deviation from the so-called norm. I loved the cant of his hips, his uneven shoulders; I loved the way his body was impossibly sharp and bony in some places and impossibly soft and curved in other places. I admired his musculature, just as it was, appreciating the unique way his condition had shaped him across the years, I kissed down his bare, boney chest, caressed his shoulders, felt his soft stomach, then finally guided the head of his dick to my opening.

And there I paused.

There was a delicious moment of tension as I waited. We both held our breath, then heaved a gasping sigh as I lowered my hips and let his dick penetrate me. I moaned as he filled me, it felt absolutely perfect, he was long and thick and he made my pussy have to stretch a little to fit, and it was the greatest feeling in the world. The curve of the base of his dick pressed against my g-spot. I stayed there for a minute, trembling and relishing the feeling.

We both groaned out loud when I moved my hips up, the head of his dick sliding against the inside of my cunt until it was almost out again. I paused with it there, where I could feel the flare of the tip just inside of me, applying the slightest amount of pressure, then I lowered my hips again with a whimper. I was already throbbing, threatening to orgasm, because he turned me on so fucking much already and his dick was incredible. So I stayed still, waiting for the throbbing to die down, before I settled into fucking him in a slow, gentle rhythm.

I kissed his neck and chest while I moved, and watched the expressions pass over his handsome face as we fucked. I guess he was just as turned on as me, because it only took a few minutes before he started trembling too. So then I slowed down, hoping we could cum at the same time, and again almost pulled his dick out of me- almost. I sort of bounced on it a few times, whimpering each time like a fucking squeak toy or something, until, with a shudder and a rush of fluids, we both came. My eyes rolled in the back of my head as he nutted inside of me and I felt his hot semen all over the inside of my cunt and dripping out on to my pussy lips and thighs.

"Jesus Christ," I whispered, unable to move just yet.

"You can call me Brian," he laughed.