The Doctor, The Ex-Con

To this day, all I can remember is that I started telling Hugo about my frustration with Carmine and his job. The story was dragging out so I made us a couple of mixed drinks, heavy on the booze, the small buzz helping the telling of the tale. Hugo listened, made some comments about leaving someone as beautiful as me alone so much and how he would never do that. I was flattered and when he moved closer to me on the couch, I didn't even mind. When he put his arm around my shoulder to soothe me when I said something in anger, I didn't mind. When I stood, almost crying about the frustration and the loneliness that I felt when Carmine worked these long hours, I didn't mind when he took me in his arms and held me tight against him. I felt his erection pressing into my stomach but I didn't say anything. We stood like that for a few minutes before I put my arms around his neck and tilted my face upward. He didn't hesitate, pressing his lips against mine, his tongue probing against my lips. I opened and accepted him inside.

When Hugo led me up the stairs to my bedroom, talking softly to me and rubbing my back with one hand, I didn't say anything. My mind was listening to his words and my stomach was fluttering with desire at the contact from his hand on my back. I knew this was wrong; that I was flirting with danger but I didn't stop what we were doing. I was stupid and foolish but I was so tired, so frustrated, still angry at Carmine. I was alone so much, without his warmth and his touch. I knew what I was doing was dangerous but I felt so in control. I didn't even notice that the alcohol warmed my stomach and lowered my normal inhibitions. All I wanted was some companionship. Carmine had chosen his work over me and now I was going to do something about it. That's all I wanted until it began to be something else. And I didn't stop it! I didn't stop it! Even now after I understood the consequences and the damage I did to all of us, I still didn't know why I didn't stop.

Hugo unzipped the back of my housedress and pulled it away from my shoulders. It fell to the floor, leaving me in my plain cotton bra and panties. I was staring at his face, so close to mine as I felt my bra slip free. As his lips pressed against mine so softly I wasn't even sure he had kissed me, he unbuckled his pants and pushed them down to his ankles. His kiss deepened as I felt him remove my panties and then, still kissing me, he pushed me to sit on the bad, naked and unresisting.

I turned my head away when he pushed the head of his erection against my lips. I hated giving head to Carmine but I would do it as often as I could just for him. He never pressed me or even asked but I would still do it for him. Hugo didn't ask and for a brief second, I almost came to my senses, but as if sensing my reluctance, he pulled away and pushed me back onto the bed. I lay back, my eyes watching him carefully as he lowered himself onto me. His lips found mine and I again stopped resisting as he moved between my legs. I was moist, already prepared for what I knew was going to happen. I wanted to say something, anything, but I was too immersed in lust now to do anything other than allow what was happening.

As Hugo found my opening and pushed the head of his cock between my folds, spreading the lips open, I gave one small sigh and stopped thinking. Now it was simply feeling and I wanted this to happen. If this was wrong, I would face that later. It was now that was important and only now. There was me and my body and he and his body. Nothing else mattered, nothing else! Hugo drove inside me, his cock not as big as Carmine's but sufficient to stimulate. He began to move slowly in and out and I pulled my legs up toward my shoulders to allow him to penetrate as deep as he could. After a few more thrusts he was in and moving in a steady rhythm that was beginning to give me pleasure.

I was feeling a growing surge that would eventually lead to an orgasm if Hugo could continue long enough to bring me there. I had my eyes shut and my arms down by my sides, holding onto the bedspread. As Hugo plunged in and out, my mind began to work, albeit slowly and sluggishly. This was wrong! This was Hugo, my boss, not my Carmine! What was I doing? I wanted to stop, to resist but the feeling was growing between my legs and up into my stomach. A climax was coming. I stopped thinking again, my lust taking control once more.

Just as I felt my climax begin to take over, Hugo jerked violently and stopped pushing into me. I opened my eyes to see why he had stopped and saw a flash of metal as it struck Hugo on the back of the head. Hugo yelled, rolled off me, his cock leaving a trail of slime as it left my body. I saw Carmine standing at the side of the bed, his face a twisted caricature of his normal appearance, so different I almost didn't recognize him. He had the bat and as I watched, startled, he swung it again at Hugo, catching him in the side. Hugo screamed again and I rolled off the bed on the side away from Carmine.

As I stood there, frightened and unsure what to do, Carmine swung the bat again and again. I knew if he didn't stop, he was going to kill Hugo. I couldn't allow him to make that mistake! I made my decision and jumped onto Carmine's back. He staggered with my weight and dropped to his knees. I held on, my arms around his neck and my knees pressing into his back. He muttered something unintelligible and broke my hold on him. I fell back, and hit my head on the door. Carmine turned and looked at me but I could see immediately that the real Carmine was not inside this person. He frightened me and I ran away, into Ruben's room where I used his phone to call 911. I locked the door and prayed that Hugo would survive my husband's anger.

As I cowered in the corner, my head pressed into my knees and my hands around my legs, I could hear nothing. I finally opened the door and peeked out, not seeing or hearing anything. I crept down to the open door of our bedroom and saw Hugo lying on the floor, covered in blood, breathing but unconscious. Carmine was nowhere to be seen. I got a wet cloth to put on Hugo's forehead and then quickly put on my housedress and my shoes. I went downstairs as quietly as I could and walked into the hall. I looked in the family room and saw Carmine sitting with his head down, the bat in his hands. The bat was bloody. I whispered his name but Carmine didn't respond.

I waited at the door until Emergency Services arrived. I let them in and led them upstairs to Hugo. They took over and I went back downstairs to wait for the police. When they came, they took Carmine and the bat and took him outside to their cruiser. They asked me only if Hugo was there with my permission and of course, I said yes. I couldn't lie about that. I didn't realize at the time that I had just convicted my husband of assault. They asked me who Hugo was, who Carmine was and wrote it all down. They asked me if Carmine had come upstairs and then assaulted Hugo and I admitted that it was that way. I did tell them Carmine found me in bed with Hugo but they didn't seem to care. One or two of them looked at me as if I were a piece of dirt but said nothing.

After that, things were all messed up. I went down to the police station, gave my statement and then asked to see my husband. The officer disappeared, then came back and told me that my husband had refused to see me. I insisted, but he informed me that it wasn't my decision, it was Carmine's. I had called our neighbor to take care of our son who was still in school but there was nothing else I could do if Carmine wouldn't let me. I had no choice but to go home and try to clean up the mess my infidelity had caused.

I hired an attorney, one of the best in the city of Columbus. He listened to my story, said he could get Carmine off on temporary insanity based on what he saw, the number of hours he had worked and the degree of fatigue. He called it impaired response syndrome. I was pleased, sure that Carmine would be acquitted. When the prosecutor asked me to testify against Carmine, I refused. He threatened to subpoena me but I still refused. I had the law on my side. I couldn't be forced to testify against my husband and I wouldn't.

During this time, the only things that kept me sane were taking care of my son and the need to fight for my husband's freedom. I was constantly talking to either the lawyers or the cops or anyone else who needed information. I took actions to free up our money for his defense, posted his bond when my attorney got him bail and made myself ready for trial and the fight of my life. My guilt was put on the back burner with my fight for Carmine. I couldn't let myself feel the pain he was in. I had no time for recriminations. I had to get Carmine out and back home with me and Ruben. That was my purpose in life now and my fight. Later, I could try to save my marriage.

Then my attorney told me Carmine refused bond. I asked how that was possible and he told me it was Carmine's right to refuse bond. Few people did but it was their right. All he had to do was not agree to the conditions of release. Bond was revoked and he stayed in jail. Next, when my attorney went to see him, Carmine fired him. He asked for and received a court appointed attorney. His money was frozen as a result of his arrest so he qualified for the court appointed lawyer. Finally, Carmine refused to speak to me at any time and I was refused admittance to the jail. I couldn't see him or speak to him or help him in any way. He closed me out!

I went home the day he told the jailers that I was not to be admitted to his cell or to visit with him at any time. I went home, went upstairs to the spare bedroom and sat down on the bed. I sat there for the longest time before the tears started, and once they came, they came with a vengeance. I cried for the next two days, unable to function. My guilt, the guilt I had so successfully suppressed for so long came out and it devastated me. I knew what I had done. I remembered the pain I saw in Carmine's eyes that day as they led him away. I knew the loneliness that my son and I would feel from this day forward. And I knew that the fault lay directly at my feet.

I got up two days later and cleaned myself up. I had to collect my son from Carmine's sister. She had been keeping him while I fought to save Carmine. I had to tell her that I failed and I had to endure the shame that I would feel as I faced her. She knew what I did, I had no choice but to tell her why Carmine was in jail and what forced him to do what he did. Her reaction was not what I expected: she didn't yell at me, scorn me, blame and chastise me. All she did was ask what she could do to help me. I asked her at that time to take Ruben and she did so without question. He had been with her since that horrible day. Now it was time for him to come home.

I had resigned my job of course. I couldn't work there any more. Even if Hugo was in the hospital, it was not possible for me to be anywhere he was likely to show up. He was no longer a part of my life. Maybe it was too late but it had to be. I didn't hate him, since it takes two to tango. I did blame him, as much as I blamed myself. We both knew what we were doing. I risked my marriage and my home; he risked nothing. What happened was a freak, an accident of timing. Why I had allowed it to go forward was still a mystery to me and one for which I could find no satisfactory answer. It just was and regret would not change it. I truly felt nothing for Hugo and I loved my husband. I always would. That never changed and it wasn't going to. I had screwed up but I still loved Carmine with all my heart. He would be happy to know the pain I was going through knowing that I had lost him by my own actions. He would be so happy!

Chapter 4 – Life goes on

Ruben came home and I began the process of living my life without my husband. I still had hopes that he would get out soon, even if he wouldn't let me help him. Ruben knew that his father was in jail and he knew why but not what provoked the attack. I would tell him soon but not now. He was too young to understand and too young to have to bear that weight. I got him back in school and tried to make things as normal for him as possible. It was hard but I kept it on the positive side. Time was all I had now. Time to think of what I did, what Carmine was going through, and time until Carmine was home again.

I was surprised a week later when I went to the jail to see if Carmine needed anything. He still wouldn't see me or speak to me but the guards would deliver messages and I just asked them to ask him if he needed anything from home. That day, when I spoke to the guard, he seemed surprised that I was there.

"Hello Mrs. Montoya. What are you doing here today?"

"Hi, Fred. Can you see if my husband needs anything from home? I know I've asked before but he may have found something he needs."

"Not likely. He's been moved to the Penitentiary in Youngstown. He got a deal and he's begun serving his time. Seven to ten. Sent there two days ago. You didn't know?"

"No. No, I didn't know. No one told me." He had been moved? Accepted a deal? Why would he do that? He could have been found innocent, or at least sent to a hospital for a short stay then released. Why would he accept a deal? I turned and blindly walked out the door, understanding that my husband had decided to deal with his future without me or our son. How could he be so cruel, especially to Ruben, his only son? Me, I understood: his anger at me was too new and too raw. But his son?

I called my lawyer, the one that Carmine refused and asked him to find out what happened. He called back later that day and told me Carmine had pleaded guilty, took a reduction to simple assault and got seven to ten years in the Ohio State Penitentiary. He spoke to Carmine's court appointed lawyer and he told him that Carmine refused any appeal or any other chance at a reduced sentence. He began serving his sentence on Monday of this week.

That was when I gave up hope. Now it was real. My husband was not coming home anytime soon. I was truly alone now. Alone with my son; Carmine's son. He was all I had. And my memories. Those memories made my nights hell. My son helped during the day, but at night in my bed, alone, the memories came. It's amazing how the mind keeps going back over those memories that cause us pain. I remembered Carmine standing there and the look on his face when he found me with Hugo. I remembered him sitting there with the bat in his hand and the blank look on his face. I remembered the dead look in his eyes as the police led him away. I didn't remember Hugo or him fucking me at all. That was a blank. So much for that!

A week after Carmine began serving his sentence I had a new bed delivered and the old one taken away. Sleeping in that bed with my memories of what I had done gave me too many sleepless nights, and the relief that brought was a blessing for a few days. In addition, I had the house appraised and a realtor draw up a plan just in case. I was living on the money left in the checking and savings accounts but I would soon need a job to begin bringing money in.

During this time, Hugo recovered and he asked me to come see him. I went, just to make sure he knew we were no longer working together and that he was no longer welcome in my home or in my life. As we talked, Hugo made it clear to me that he expected me to continue to be his sex toy or he would sue Carmine in Civil Court for damages. He said that unless I did, he would make sure Carmine never had a dime to his name once he got out. He laughed as he told me this. I listened, shocked at the bastard he was. How had I never noticed this before?

When Hugo was done with his threat, I stood up, looked him directly in the eye and threatened to sue him for sexual harassment and unwanted sexual advances. He laughed but I made it clear I was dead serious. I reached for the phone beside his bed and asked him if I should call my lawyer now. He sputtered and argued with me but finally agreed to not pursue it any further. I put the phone down and as I walked out of the room, he gave it one last try.

"I promise you this, you little bitch! When he does get out, I'll make it my business to know, I'll wait until he begins to work and then I'll sue his ass in Civil Court for every penny he makes for the rest of his sad, pathetic life. He'll be sorry he ever raised his hand to me. And what will be even better is that you won't be able to do a damned thing since it will be all past history. But not my injuries!"

I continued out the door, believing his words were just bravado.

Almost a year later, I made a decision to begin my life without Carmine. I had no choice as he made it clear. Although I didn't want it, I decided to file for divorce, sell the house and buy something much smaller for Ruben and me. There was far more than enough money in the house and the insurance policy if I managed it properly. I wanted to be certain I had enough for Ruben's college fund. That was not negotiable. I also searched the want adds and found a job working as a receptionist in a small veterinary clinic. It was a good job, the people were nice and the money was enough combined with what I had to keep us comfortable. I wrote Carmine a letter, to be delivered with the divorce petition, asking him to speak with me and let me explain why I was filing. It was only because I had to provide for Ruben and me while Carmine was gone, but I also hoped it would allow me to see if there was any way we could still go on as a family.

I held my breath until the note I sent was returned with Carmine's congratulations for my new life with my lover, Hugo. He also told me that everything we had was mine and he wanted nothing. He would agree to whatever terms I worked out but he wanted to be free of me. I had expected nothing else but to see it written out in his own handwriting was so damned final. I lost it then. I couldn't help myself. I spent the next day in tears, much as I had the in the days after I betrayed him.

After I had gotten that out of my system, I wrote a small note to be delivered to him telling him that Hugo and I never spoke after that day and that I no longer worked for the same company. It was futile and would make no difference, but I couldn't let him go on believing Hugo was part of his son's life. I made sure that the prison doctor would make sure he read it. That was all I could do.

But, I had to move forward, to provide for me and for our son. Once the divorce was final, I sold the house, not without some regret. It was worth quite a bit and I took three quarters of that and deposited it into a separate account for Carmine. He didn't have to know about it until he was released. I owed him that. I found a small bungalow just right for Ruben and I, close to the vet clinic where I worked and bought it outright. I wouldn't have to worry about making mortgage payments. I enrolled Ruben in school and he quickly made friends and began to adjust. He had stopped asking about his father when I convinced him that Carmine was gone and too far away to see us. We began our life over and time passed. It was several years later that Ruben mentioned Carmine.

When he was twelve, he asked me why his father was in prison. It was a question he had continued to ask and I continued to try to avoid telling him the truth. I tried to skim over it with platitudes much as I had been doing for several years but this time, he would not let it go. Someone had told him that his father was in the penitentiary for almost killing a man and Ruben wanted to know the details. I decided it was time. I sat him down and told him the complete truth, not sparing myself in the details. Ruben listened closely, remained quiet after I had finished and then simply said, "I don't blame dad for doing what he did. He had to do it." Then he walked away and never mentioned it again. I expected recriminations from him but none came. He simply accepted it and went on. Or so I thought.