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He turned out the light. I laid beside him for several minutes before I said: "Will?"
"Yes?"
"I want you to fuck me in the ass."
"What?" he said. "I thought you didn't like that."
My first boyfriend Jerry had been a serious anal obsessive, and I'd always sworn that I'd had enough sodomy with him to last two lifetimes. But now, after that story, I felt like I had to reclaim Will again. I wanted to show him that I could give him everything Harold could. I obviously didn't have a penis, but I did have an asshole, and if I gave it to Will, it would be taking back the little part of him that I felt like I'd lost to the memory of his experience with a man. Or at least, that was my thought process.
I turned my back to him, and Will squirted something cool and slick into my anus. He slid inside with the same care and gentleness with which he did everything else. I realized as I took him into my most secret place that this was the last barrier, the one place I'd never taken him. I moved with him as I imagined Harold had, trying to make music like Will said. I embraced him inside. Loved his cock with my ass. Wished in that moment that I was a man, that I had a cock instead of a bleeding vagina. Wished that Will would lap the pearly beads of semen off my lightly fuzzed belly. I came when he came, in a dark and secret way.
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